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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26383756">Potatoes and Rye</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ficsnfun/pseuds/Dgcakes'>Dgcakes (ficsnfun)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Tate &amp; Jorah - the Eisner Twins [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Almost everybody lives, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Female My Unit | Byleth, Happy Ending, Jeralt and Rhea will be the only exceptions, M/M, Male My Unit | Byleth, Minor Background Ships, Minor Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Dedue Molinaro, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, Spoilers, Twin Protagonists</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:55:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>100,498</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26383756</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ficsnfun/pseuds/Dgcakes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tate Eisner has a goddess in her head, a new teaching job, and feelings starting to manifest - it's a lot! Her brother, meanwhile, just wanted a teaching job and none of this family drama. Now the siblings are embroiled in happenings at Garreg Mach and what it means for them and for the future of Fodlan. A lot of people have ambitions and the Eisner twins are frequently at the center of it all. </p><p>(Female Byleth is not named Byleth. Her twin is not a standard Male Byleth so tagged liberally. Canon is going off the rails because I love all the students. Happy endings all around, self indulgent romance).</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Claude von Riegan/Original Male Character(s), Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth, My Unit | Byleth/Claude von Riegan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Tate &amp; Jorah - the Eisner Twins [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1917463</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>92</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>78</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Tate Did Not Pick This Job At All</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Tate is my standard female Byleth, she just has a custom name. Her twin brother is his own character but based initially on male Byleth design, so I tagged for Male Byleth too. He's the one who will be shipped with Claude, Tate will be shipped with Edelgard.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After a month or so of teaching, Tate was pretty sure that it was the most difficult job she had ever had and that being a mercenary was far easier. This wasn’t a particularly hard perspective for her to have, seeing as those were the only two jobs she had ever done, but of the two she knew which was harder. </p><p>That being said, she also wasn’t sure which she preferred. </p><p>Preference had honestly never been something Tate Eisner had experience with. Generally her life was dictated by her father and what he told her they were doing. When they’d come to the monastery, he acted like he had no choice in the matter and she certainly didn’t. He gave over the dictation of her life to this Lady Rhea person and that was that. She was a teacher now and it was a good thing she didn’t feel a whole lot because her feelings on that were not at all consulted.</p><p>To top it off, besides the person her father had designated as in charge now (but that she was supposed to be wary of??? Be clear, please!) there was also the OTHER person who wanted to dictate Tate’s life to her. Sothis had been a being of her dreams and nothing more for so long, but soon as the small-seeming-girl (woman???) was awake, she’d had A LOT to say about many things, usually at inconvenient times. </p><p>Sothis was very opinionated about everything and everyone and wanted to yell at Tate for anything she did wrong, even if it was really not up to her that Sothis was there or dependent on her. It was good the spirit liked to sleep or Tate was sure she’d never get any rest, bound between the whims of her new position and her companion(?). </p><p>The students themselves were also pretty overwhelming in their own ways. They were generally less demanding, at least on purpose, but their requests piled up and Tate felt responsible for meeting all of those. It was more intense socialization than she’d had in her life and it was exhausting. The expectations were new and intense and it was hard to itemize what she was meant to do and just go about tasks, especially with all of these people to deal with.</p><p>Seated on the steps in front of the first floor dormitories, Tate looked ahead of her at the featureless wall, mindlessly counting the bricks and trying to unwind from the most recent bout of socializing and prepare for the next bout. She’d finished her morning classes, which meant it was time for a meal. Meals were had in the Dining Hall which was very intense for her to be in still. After meal she would be free to retreat to her room to return to studying the resources she’d been able to obtain about teaching and try to ground herself further for this new job she’d ended up with.</p><p>Her intent on coming this way had been to visit Bernadetta, but had apparently arrived on one of the few occasions her student had dared venture out of her rooms. Tate liked Bernie a great deal so found it a bit disheartening that the girl still squeaked and shriekd at her presence. Still, if there was one place at the Academy she could be reasonably sure no one who wanted to socialize with her was going to be, it was somewhere in the vicinity of her reclusive student. Tate half wished the same of her own room, but that wasn’t the case. More often, students came looking for her there after classes, so it was no use to avoid them there.</p><p>“Professor...are you waiting for someone?” Edelgard’s footsteps had been audible before her careful tone, but Tate had been too busy tuning out the sounds of the school to notice at first and blinked in surprise hearing her.</p><p>For a moment, Tate considered how to answer the question. Truthfully, she wasn’t actually waiting for Bernadetta herself, but had wanted the safety of the space. As far as she’d gathered so far, that answer would not be satisfactory or easily accepted. </p><p>At last, she turned to Edelgard, deciding on the simple and plain response instead. “No, I wasn’t. I was just sitting here. Did you need me for something?” Best to be obliging to her House Leader of course. And Tate really was quite fond of Edelgard. </p><p>“No, I came to deliver Bernadetta’s work from class and strongly encourage her to attend our next lesson on time. I just didn’t want to waste your time if you were doing the same.” Edelgard held the papers in her arms, a copy of one of her neat sets of notes from the lesson, no doubt. </p><p>“You are devoted as ever to your classmates and your studies.” Tate observed, for lack of a better way to express the little spark of warmth she felt at Edelgard’s consideration. </p><p>“I am responsible for the Black Eagle House’s students, you can trust me to see they keep up.” Edelgard was one of the few who spoke to Tate and didn’t seem to be bothered by her lack of reaction, which was always something of a relief. </p><p>“I thought I was responsible for all of you.” Tate offered, by way of an attempt at a joke. She stood properly, only putting her a few inches above her student in height now. “I will see she gets these, Edelgard. You have already taken enough time to copy these out for her. I will handle the rest.” </p><p>“Professor...are you sure? Our House’s students can be quite difficult but I am up to the challenge.” There was a hint of worry on the princess’s steely features, just a shimmer of it for a moment before it was gone again. </p><p>“I will not improve my rapport with your classmates or my skills in teaching them, if I don’t learn to engage with them. You have many other tasks requiring your attention, I’m sure. I will take care of this.” Tate assured her and made an effort to pat her arm very lightly when she took the papers to deliver to Bernadetta.</p><p>“Alright, Professor.” Edelgard gave one of those small smiles of hers, closing her eyes a brief moment. Tate was never sure if this was meant to improve the effect of the smile or merely meant to help the princess clear her head, but it did look very pretty and serene. </p><p>When her eyes reopened, Edelgard looked distantly past Tate towards the Greenhouse. “I have heard,” her voice sounded like Tate felt when she made her own faltering attempts at social conversation, “that you will not be the last new professor we see at Garreg Mach. I had thought there would be no other hires with the school year starting, but it appears I was mistaken.”</p><p>“Oh?” Tate’s brows raised a little and she blinked. This was news to her, certainly, but she hadn’t exactly been well versed in the hiring plans at the monastery. She hadn’t even known about her own hiring before it happened, let alone any others. Still, she was some level of curious. A new hire meant even more people and Edelgard was right that hiring after the year started was odd.</p><p>“I believe it has something to do with the increased presence of bandits locally and the greater need for Manuela’s attention in the Infirmary. From what Hubert learned, a position for an assistant professor had been open for her classes before the year started, but the greater workload has necessitated the post be made a full time one.” Edelgard explained, posture relaxing a fraction as she spoke. </p><p>It seemed that now she was freed of her task, Edelgard remained to speak to Tate out of choice instead of the conversation being an interruption that had to be completed swiftly. That nice spark of warmth returned to Tate’s chest noting that. Someone wanting to talk to her and not needing anything but her company was a novel concept. She wondered if it was the same for the ever-serious princess. </p><p>The information was also quite as interesting as the speaker. “So the school was seeking one full professor and one assistant to a current professor, and now needs two full professors.” </p><p>“It only needs one.” Edelgard corrected, “You don’t intend to leave us, do you, Professor?” It was said in her version of playful, but that little glimmer of concern appeared again for an instant.</p><p>“I counted myself incorrectly. It needs myself and one other.” Tate amended her words with a nod. The corners of her mouth felt so very heavy - she wasn’t sure she’d ever been so very aware of them or their capacity to move before coming to Garreg Mach. Idly, Tate scanned the area with her eyes, letting them trail over the scenery at a relaxed pace. “This means the Golden Deer House will have to get used to a new professor all over again.”</p><p>“I can’t say I think that’s a completely bad idea. It may set them back some, but with no disrespect to Professor Manuela, her expertise is needed more urgently elsewhere and it is not credit to either her or her students if she is not given adequate time for both them and her other responsibilities.” Edelgard observed.</p><p>“Along with her various other pursuits of a more personal nature.” Hubert slid into the conversation the way night fell, with an ease that had to be a well honed skill. </p><p>“Oh, there he is.” Tate stated calmly, and stopped glancing about, settling her gaze back on her companions.</p><p>“You were looking for me, Professor? How kind.” Hubert had a way of phrasing things that didn’t make words sound quite like their opposite, but just close enough to feel it. </p><p>“Where Edelgard is, so too is her shadow.” Tate nodded, but said no more.</p><p>“Regardless of what is occupying Professor Manuela’s attentions, the matter stands that a position is open for another professor and it may greatly change the dynamics between our Houses. We may have won the Mock Battle last month, but if the Golden Deer gain a new professor that completely shifts the balance there, they could become a larger threat for the Battle of the Eagle and Lion.” Edelgard crossed her eyes. </p><p>“Someone with a firmer hand for discipline would do well to keep certain other House Leaders from climbing the walls in boredom.” Hubert smiled one of those mysterious little smiles of his, reminding Tate of a cat that had cornered a mouse and was feeling quite clever for it.</p><p>“Do you mean that literally or figuratively?” Tate asked, more curious than concerned. </p><p>“Why, have you heard things, professor?” Hubert turned the question back on her, “It would be quite scandalous if you were implying you had seen Claude climbing walls anywhere. Though it would explain how he has been getting into certain locations...” </p><p>“But Claude is not to be climbing walls. He cannot even climb trees.” Yet another new voice joined in as Petra walked closer, presumably coming from the Dining Hall back towards her room. </p><p>“How do you know that, Petra?” Edelgard turned that way now, the stiffness of proper posture returning to her form fully now. </p><p>Petra’s brow’s drew and her eyes moved up in that way they did when she was thinking over her words before at last she said, “I was to be discussing it with him.” </p><p>“That is quite a discussion to just have.” Edelgard seemed to still have questions but bit them back with a little purse of her lips, giving a minute shake of her head. “Are we in your way, Petra? We should be going, Hubert.”</p><p>“No, you are not to be in my way at all. It is Bernie who is hiding behind the wall and will not come near. She is being afraid that she is in trouble with many people gathered outside of her door.” Petra’s words were punctuated by a sharp squeak from behind a nearby set of bricks. Clearly that part was not meant to be shared with the group, but Petra didn’t seem to have noticed, instead just continuing towards her room. </p><p>Tate exchanged a look with Edelgard, and was pleased (was that the little warmth she always felt? Just being pleased?) at the understanding  she saw in the House Leader’s eyes. Edelgard bid her a good day and strode away, Hubert following diligently after her. </p><p>Not facing the source of the squeak directly, Tate spoke in her usual calm voice, but tried to soften the words some. “You may come out now, Bernadetta. The path is clear.” </p><p>“B-but you’re still there, Professor!” </p><p>“I have notes for you then I will be going.” Tate looked down at the papers to keep from watching for the girl in her periphery. “Edelgard was so kind as to copy them for you and I wish to see you at class tomorrow.” </p><p>“Alright...You aren’t going to yell at me for not being there today, are you?” Bernie sounded a little closer, but Tate didn’t dare look. </p><p>“No. You would not come to class tomorrow if I yelled at you. You would just miss another class and hide from me.” </p><p>“You’re probably right.” Bernadetta admitted, and by now came close enough that Tate could see her boots out of the corner of her eye. “What were you all talking about then? If it wasn’t about yelling at me, I mean.” </p><p>“Edelgard said there is to be another professor.” Tate clarified, finally looking up now and offering the papers gingerly to the girl before her. </p><p>“Another?! Oh noooo...I’m only just getting used to you!” Bernadetta’s hand, which had been reaching for the sheaf of notes, retracted quickly and was held up close to her chest with her other hand.</p><p>Tate didn’t comment on her actions, as she was starting to learn it was best to just let Bernadetta relax again on her own and try to talk easily rather than trying to force her to take something. Instead, she looked distantly towards the Greenhouse and said, “It is too bad those bandits attacked when they did. If they had picked another time, the school might have had two professors at once.” </p><p>“Two professors at once?” Bernadetta’s curiosity seemed more potent than her fear and she took the papers now, looking at Tate and clearly not thinking about the motions anymore.</p><p>“Mhm. If I was an acceptable professor, my brother would be as well. He is...better at people than I am.” Tate finally looked to her student, feeling safer to do so with Bernadetta’s attention on the topic.</p><p>“You have a brother??” the curiosity had pushed Bernie’s voice into a quiet and eager whisper, her eyes widening to match. She looked quite like a small forest animal, getting so near to Tate at the prospect of food - or information, in this case.</p><p>Tate turned more fully towards Bernadetta, her own form feeling suddenly lighter as the topic of her brother was opened. However, the movement - or perhaps how her sword shifted on her belt, had made a loud noise and all at once her student seemed to realize she was out of doors and talking to another person, and that is not an ideal Bernie location. So off she scampered back to her room, with some loud and garbled apology about notes to read right before the door slammed.</p><p>With a huff of breath, Tate looked back at her feet. She still felt so very very tired of people, and she really hadn’t gotten to finish her unwinding. Glancing at the Dining Hall longingly, she felt it a lost cause to try to deal with even more of them and turned back towards her own room. She needed a rest more than she needed food. </p><p>Perhaps, when she had finished resting, she would find her father. Jeralt might have contact information for her twin and maybe, just maybe, Tate could persuade him to visit Garreg Mach and join her in teaching. If anyone could help her make sense of this new role she’d been given - or maybe even help her get out of some of it - it was Jorah.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. An Interview Full of Interruptions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jorah Eisner had honestly not been in very close contact with his father or sister in a while. This wasn’t necessarily on purpose - for the most part - but it was pretty hard to keep up with a travelling mercenary band. It was made harder when one was traveling for work themselves, and Jorah was very frequently traveling. </p><p>He’d known from a very young age that he was different from his sister but it was differences with his father that had first sent him away. If Tate could be accused of having no emotions - which was bullshit, for the record - then Jorah could be accused of having ALL of the emotions. His father wasn’t exactly the most expressive person on the planet, and supposedly their mother hadn’t been either - so Jorah had no idea where in the family his temper or any of his other feelings came from, but he had them in abundance. </p><p>The life of a mercenary already didn’t fit Jorah to begin with but the older he got, the more he butted heads with his father, deeply hating the way they were treated. Their mother’s death was still a deep sore spot for Jeralt, and raising children alone wasn’t easy, especially with children both very different from yourself. But some things were inexcusable in Jorah’s eyes.</p><p>Jeralt wanted them to be cautious, to be wary of trusting easily, he wanted to instill values that would keep them safe on and off the battlefield. That would be lovely, if his methods didn’t also require the twins to put a lot of unquestioned trust in Jeralt’s generally quite vague information. He also had a tendency towards doing irresponsible things like using his children for target practice to ‘train’ them, or getting drunk and leaving bar tabs behind them in various places.</p><p>Dictating Tate’s life for her was probably all Jeralt knew how to do and with an interest in her safety from some nebulous danger Jeralt didn’t want to speak of, but his methods didn’t always come from a place of understanding. His daughter seemed something between a burden he wanted to just leave behind, and another of his subordinates that happened to be quite skilled. That wasn’t an entirely accurate picture of his feelings, but it’s how it often felt. </p><p>Jorah knew Jeralt loved them, and was even a little worried they might not love him in return. Loving them his own way was not enough to make up for his faults as a parent and how messed up their relationship was. Very often Tate’s feelings were treated as non-existent just because they were so little expressed. His sister was still a person and she did feel things, muted as her emotions were by her nature and her isolation from others. Just as much, Jorah’s feelings were too much for Jeralt to handle - he wanted to know things and do things and couldn't be satisfied with how little his father wanted to share. They had fought about direction, about jobs, they had even fought about Jorah’s name. </p><p>Jeralt had named his children while he was drunk and desperate, he often joked. There was a depressing grain of truth to it that had never sat well with Jorah. Names given in a panic, because for whatever reason the ones he picked with his dead wife weren’t suitable anymore. It had upset Jorah to have a name that felt like it was a mistake, to feel even more like something carelessly put in his father’s life rather than something wanted. So he’d picked a new name for himself, and his father had taken it...awkwardly. Jeralt didn’t hate the new name - and Jorah kept his dad’s last name so not a total slap in the face either - but it had still been a big step of independence in his life. Jorah had already been starting to leave them to go get solo jobs by that point, things so he wasn’t trapped with his father’s mercenaries forever. Jeralt still sometimes called him “Rye” now and then, but they talked so rarely it barely mattered. </p><p>When Jorah had left full time, he hadn’t stayed in close contact with his family. He had wanted to take Tate with him, to let her see more of the world, but he couldn’t make that decision for her - that would be just as bad as every time their dad did it. So he’d given her the choice...and she had chosen their father. She felt responsible for the work he gave her, and for taking care of him in some ways, so she couldn’t leave. So Jorah made no further fuss of it and left, to seek the life he needed for himself.</p><p>In his travels he’d worked a variety of places, even back when he’d been just breaking away from his dad’s company for it for short periods. In time, he’d come to realize he enjoyed teaching and this is what had led him to his latest employment application. Garreg Mach Monastery was hiring for an assistant teaching position at the Officer’s Academy. That sort of role would be a big step towards becoming a proper professor somewhere. Jorah had decent references and some minor teaching and tutoring experience, and so had applied for the position soon as he’d heard of it.</p><p>Jorah made a point not to write to his family about his attempt at this position. Usually he wrote to them - mostly to Tate - about any jobs he was trying to get or what he was doing, things to keep them up on how his health was and that he was alive. But he was pretty sure he shouldn’t breathe a word to his father that he was intending to try for a job with the Church of Seiros or an institution the Church ran. Jeralt was very intent on keeping any and all information about the Church away from them. Hell, it hadn’t been till he was on his own that Jorah learned a lot about himself and the Crest he bore. </p><p>Getting an interview appointment had been so exciting for Jorah that he’d nearly written to his sister anyway, but thought better of it. He had made sure he looked presentable and headed to the Monastery for his appointment with a man named Seteth who did a lot of the administration for the Officer’s Academy.</p><p>As soon as he’d arrived, Jorah felt eyes on him. He was a little uneasy about it and checked himself over in a mirror as soon as possible to be sure he had nothing on his face or clothes. But no, clean face, regular blonde hair - a little green tinged at the tips, but same as usual - and neat clothes. That was the first hint that something was completely off. </p><p>A well meaning but spacey seeming Gatekeeper had given him directions to Seteth’s office and Jorah had headed up. He was making good time and hoping to get to his appointment a little early - that would hopefully give a good impression of his punctuality to his interviewer. Unfortunately, the Gatekeeper’s directions proved...somewhat inaccurate.</p><p>When Jorah had entered the conspicuously open door, he had noticed a sign indicating the Captain of the Knights was supposed to be in this office. That was already getting his attention but the person inside was far more surprising. Jorah looked forward, locking eyes with his father, who seemed equally surprised.</p><p>Jeralt opened his mouth to speak but Jorah put up both hands quickly. “I’m not even gonna ask,” and backed out of the room.</p><p>Back in the hallway, Jorah went back over his directions to see if he’d misread, but no, it seemed they’d been given wrong because he’d followed them exactly. He was dreading having to track down Seteth’s office - there went his good timing! He did not want to go have to ask the Man-that-is-probably-Dad where to go. Looking across the hall hopefully, he wondered if the person in the opposite office was correct or could direct him.</p><p>Taking a deep breath, he composed himself and stepped forward, knocking on the edge of the open office door. </p><p>“Yes? I only have a few moments for you, I have an interview soon.” The man behind the desk had green hair and a neat little beard, but only glanced up from his paperwork towards the end of speaking. Clearly a very business oriented person. “Ah, who are you?”</p><p>“Jorah. I take it you’re Seteth?” Jorah gave a self-conscious smile and entered the office.</p><p>“I am.” Seteth stood to properly look at him and gestured to the seat in front of his desk. “Thank you for coming to meet me. Your letter said your name was Jorah...Eisner, is that correct?” There was something in his gaze that was concerningly like that familiarity people had when his father left bar tabs. </p><p>Jorah’s smile grew a little more nervous at the edges then he nodded - might as well just roll with it! He was a creative person! “Yes, it is.”</p><p>“I wasn’t aware Jeralt had another child.” There was something tense, words unsaid in Seteth’s tone as he sat again. </p><p>“I wasn’t aware he had any affiliations with the Church. The last I was aware, he was doing mercenary work.” Jorah admitted. He really wasn’t sure he liked whatever mental associations Seteth was making between them. </p><p>“He recently returned to his former position as Captain of the Knights of Seiros. You were unaware he had once held that position even?” There was a dryness to Seteth’s tone and the serious way he looked at Jorah with eyebrows only slightly raised that spoke of a frustration that was being carefully held behind well trained professionalism, and Jorah respected it.</p><p>“No, we didn’t talk about that.” Jorah contemplated for a moment before adding, “I’d prefer we didn’t discuss it, however. I’m not looking to be hired based on my relatives, be they mercenaries or knights. I am very interested in the assistant teaching position, but I would prefer for my own merits alone.” </p><p>Something brightened in Seteth’s face, and there was a hint of intrigue. “Say no more. I am quite pleased I don’t have to explain to you that his position is not going to be in consideration towards your application. You will need to stand or fall on your own.” </p><p>“Good to hear.” Jorah’s smile eased into something more relaxed and genuine now. </p><p>“I should warn you, the position as posted has changed now.” Seteth explained, “You were to be an assistant to one of our current professors who would be the primary educator, but her other duties are becoming more pressing than foreseen and you may be taking on more primary teaching duties off and on with guidance. While this isn’t a usual way I would feel comfortable treating such a role, the position needs to be filled and soon with the school year already underway at the Officer’s Academy.”</p><p>“So higher responsibility and a move from it being a more junior role to being a more intermediate one?” </p><p>“Indeed. The compensation will increase to cover this change but it is something to consider.” Seteth began, “That being said - your references are in order and your work history shows potential. If you are still interested in the new position, we will begin your interview.” </p><p>Seteth was a shrewd man and a difficult interviewer, but Jorah was very interested in the role and by and by the two reached a very good understanding. He felt their conversation went extremely well, and he was hopeful that he may actually still get the position. The interview was just wrapping up when an unexpected interruption came into the room in a hurricane of papers.</p><p>“Rye? Is that little Rye I hear?” From the hallway where the door had been left open, Jorah saw a face from one of his many past jobs entering and leaving several papers to fall to the floor from the stack in her hands. </p><p>“Professor Manuela-” Seteth started, pinching between his brows, probably lamenting the state of his lovely office as she entered. </p><p>Manuela paid him little heed, instead grinning brightly as she saw Jorah’s face. “It IS you! My, haven’t you grown handsome.~” There was that playful wink to her features that Jorah knew not to take seriously.</p><p>With a soft huff of a laugh, Jorah gave her a polite nod. “Hello Manuela. Lovely as ever I see.” He got up to carefully grab the papers from the floor to return to her stack. “I’m going by Jorah these days and I was trying to interview here before you interrupted, you know.” </p><p>“Interview? For what?” Manuela pondered then her eyes lit up and she looked at Seteth. “Wait, is he applying for the assistant position? My assistant position?” </p><p>Jorah gave Seteth credit, he was amazingly restrained for someone clearly very done with his coworker’s antics. “Yes. We were just concluding the interview-”</p><p>“Well are you hiring him? You definitely should. R-excuse me, dear, Jorah - is a dream to work with.” Manuela seemed very enthusiastic about this, especially as her papers were being carefully taken from her to be restacked properly rather than falling all over Seteth’s office as she tried to speak.</p><p>“Manuela, I appreciate and love your addition to my references, now please cut it out I’m trying to get my own job, thank you.” Jorah chuckled and handed her back her stack of papers. </p><p>“You’re lucky you’re cute. I don’t let most men boss me around, I’ll have you know.” Manuela told Jorah with fake bite to her voice. “Good luck, kiddo.” She took her papers and gracefully exited before Seteth had to tell her to do so more firmly - and he looked ready to do so.</p><p>Seteth closed his eyes and folded his hands, seemingly silently counting  - or perhaps praying, this was the Church after all - and took a moment or two before speaking again. “That was certainly an...interesting addition.” </p><p>“A kind way to put it.” Jorah had returned to his seat and gave a nervous smile. </p><p>“I don’t recall anywhere you would have worked with Professor Manuela on your resume. Care to elaborate?” Seteth looked at him, clearly at least willing to take whatever reference that had been for his notes.</p><p>“I didn’t work with her in a teaching capacity, that’s why. It’s in the ‘other experience’ section - I was a stagehand for the Mittelfrank Opera Company off and on a few times.” Jorah was just glad his interview was wrapping up. That had been rather embarrassing. He wasn’t sure if his Dad or Manuela were the more concerning reference here.</p><p>It was as they were walking to Seteth’s office door that the final train of silly that was this interview decided to hit in quick succession. </p><p>The first of the train was an older professor with a brown long coat, who came in to rant about Manuela and ask Seteth to do something about her, before he realized that Seteth had company. The man gave an awkward apology, attempted to introduce himself - as a Professor Hanneman? - and quickly left. Seteth at least seemed relieved by this.</p><p>The second of the parade was...a little more concerning for Jorah’s poor interviewer. An eager young girl with bright green hair and the sweetest - if most stilted and formal - manner of speaking, came darting in to ask Seteth for something. Jorah learned very quickly that the girl’s name was “Flayn” and she was Seteth’s little sister - Jorah would have guessed daughter, but either way, not his business. </p><p>Flayn, for her part, was young and very sweet and seemed mostly curious about Jorah and surprised at his presence. “Oh hello! Are you someone new? Are you the other new professor?” </p><p>She looked so excited by this that Jorah had no idea how to respond to her question without feeling like a total jerk for saying ‘no’ or ‘not yet’. </p><p>Seteth looked equally torn as he closed his eyes and pinched his brow, and quietly said in a strained voice, “Flayn, please. Refrain from asking people such questions. I have only just finished his interview.”</p><p>“OH. Oh I am so sorry.” Flayn looked at Jorah with wide eyes .</p><p>“It’s really okay, Miss.” Jorah assured her, giving a soft smile and feeling honestly just relieved he didn’t have to be the one to tell her she was wrong. Seteth could handle that. </p><p>“Flayn, what was it you needed? I should be free soon.” Seteth looked to his sister in such a gentle way, Jorah really felt he could relate. Protective family instincts could just be like that sometimes. </p><p>Looking at her shoes, Flayn blushed furiously as she spoke, “O-oh. I had only wanted to know if you had any of those sweets left still. I’m sorry, I feel very silly now, Brother.”</p><p>“As long as nothing is wrong.” Seteth looked minorly relieved. “I’m afraid I am out of sweets. I won’t have time to get any till later.” </p><p>Here, Jorah’s own elder sibling instincts had already taken over. He had turned and reached into his own bag, and produced a fresh - still sealed, even! - box of chocolates from Enbarr. “Well, Miss Flayn, you’re in luck today. I have some...Provided she’s allowed to have chocolates?” Jorah remembered himself in time to look at Seteth, showing him the box.</p><p>A thousand emotions crossed Seteth’s face in an instant and Jorah was a little afraid he’d just done the wrong thing entirely. However, either Seteth had overcome whatever had bothered him very quickly because the box was still sealed...or he glanced sideways and saw how adoringly Flayn was looking at the chocolate box. He gave a mild gesture to allow it and his sister absolutely lit up in delight, darting forward to see the proffered sweets. </p><p>Jorah unsealed the box and offered it towards her. “You may have 3 at most, Miss Flayn.”</p><p>“Thank you, thank you, Prof-er. I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Jorah.” He told her and gave a small smile, offering the box to Seteth next, who had been through a long enough day it seemed and took one. </p><p>“Jorah, what a nice name. You really look like the Professor, you know. Only her hair is so much darker. Oh but! Her father, Captain Jeralt, his hair is light like yours!” Suddenly Flayn’s eyes widened, “Oh I’m sorry, I am talking too much again!” She popped a chocolate in her mouth very fast. </p><p>Honestly, Jorah did not have time to think about her chocolate eating or reactions because he had just been suddenly putting together what Flayn was saying. A professor that looked like him with dark hair, who was his father’s daughter…...oh no. Jorah stared forward, blinking and smiling awkwardly as he processed this. </p><p>“Sir Jorah, are you alright?” Flayn swallowed her chocolate, taking a second and looking  at him with worry. </p><p>“......Sure. Just...stunned by new information.” Jorah turned to Seteth, and was grateful to see an equal mix of frustration and confusion on his face too. At least they were on the same page. “Really wasn’t aware my sister was a professor now. Who...told her to do that exactly?”</p><p>Seteth took a breath through his nose and took a second chocolate from the box. “That is a question best left for Captain Jeralt. In the meantime, I thank you for the chocolate.” </p><p>“Yes!” Flayn had finished her second and was taking her third, “Thank you so much!” </p><p>“Why did you happen to have a sealed box of chocolates on you anyway?” Seteth asked, more just trying to ease matters again, probably for Flayn’s benefit.</p><p>“Oh well, I did come here in the hopes of a teaching position.” Jorah gave a playful grin now, trying to settle the new information to the back of his mind for now. “And Seteth, I’m sure you might agree, young people - especially teenagers - can be quite food motivated.” </p><p>Flayn was the one who responded to this, looking interested and delighted all at once, “That is an idea! I too would be very motivated if someone gave me fish to learn!” </p><p>“Fish huh?” Jorah glanced to her and shook his head, standing once more and putting the chocolates away. She’d already forgotten herself and taken a fourth so he’d better put them away before Seteth caught she’d done that and felt he had to scold her. “I’ll try to keep that in mind, Miss Flayn. Now I should go - I’ve taken up enough of your dear brother’s day. Thank you for meeting me, Seteth.”</p><p>“Of course. I will send word to your lodgings by the end of the week if you are hired.” Seteth agreed. </p><p>Jorah walked towards the door and would have escaped without any further incident, if it not were the final member of the parade of silly interruptions arriving at the last moment. And arrive she did, tackling him face first in the chest with a hug that nearly bowled Jorah over in place.</p><p>At long last, Tate had heard her brother had come to Garreg Mach Monastery.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you want to see Jorah, here is my concept art of him. He's in his pre-timeskip look currently of course </p><p>https://twitter.com/Dgcakes/status/1301757081603768320?s=20</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Claude is bored out of his mind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It was extremely incorrect of me to not have Claude appear in this fic so far. That has now been remedied.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Claude did not like to admit defeat easily, but he had known pretty immediately that he had no chance of winning Tate Eisner's attention. Even before she was a potential professor and was just an interesting mercenary that helped them, he had known. As blank as her expression was, as mysterious her manner, he'd seen how she looked at Edelgard. There was something slightly more open, intrigued perhaps, whenever Edelgard spoke. So he'd known his case was unlikely to be considered. </p><p>As such, when she was made Professor, he was unsurprised when she'd chosen the Black Eagles. Sure, he'd done his part, discussed his House and been as charming as possible. But if she was given any choice, it would probably be the Black Eagles. Dimitri seemed unaware, eager to talk and learn from her still, but Claude knew the odds here. </p><p>Still, it was such a blow. Manuela wasn't a bad Professor, really, but she was not as interesting as Tate had the potential to be. The practical experience of a mercenary and the tendency to lead from the front was a vastly different learning experience, and coupled with the many secrets she seemed to hold - it would have been a brilliant opportunity. But such is life. </p><p>The disappointments racked up as cases in the infirmary increased. Bandit attacks were becoming more of a problem and with the school year underway, students were also suffering a lot of injuries. As head physician, Manuela's priorities had to be on her patients, and for it her class suffered. </p><p>Some of the Golden Deer - mostly Hilda - were thrilled with having a distracted teacher because it meant a chance to slack off. Claude could understand this feeling, but there was a point at which his desire to take things easy and his inability to tolerate boredom collided. If he wanted to waste time, Claude could do that anywhere. He couldn't spend all day sneaking into the library to study without getting caught, and he was itching to actually learn new material.</p><p>On a couple of days, he'd sneaked into the Black Eagle Classroom to attend their lessons, but that was a move of  desperation. The inability to participate or engage with the material openly dampened his spirits, but he at least felt good about his own creative problem solving. Still, he wanted the Academy to deal with this situation already. They'd already lost the first mock battle and he was starting to lose hope for the Battle of the Eagle and Lion.</p><p>"I can't believe you actually went out of your way to sneak INTO a class." Hilda told him, placing down her lunch on the table in front of them. </p><p>"What can I say? I was curious about what they're getting up to." Claude gave her a winning smile, more out of habit than requirement. Hilda knew he wasn't in high spirits. </p><p>"Schoolwork, duh! What else would it be?" Hilda dug into the little custard she'd gotten first, because no one was going to stop her. </p><p>"Yes but it's going to be different. Aren't you at least a little interested in what she's like as a teacher?"</p><p>"Who, the Professor? Not really." Hilda gave him a look, speaking around the spoon in her mouth. "Sorry Claude, you can't make me want to study even if you put a strong lady with no facial expressions in front of me. If you ask me, she's kinda weird. The Beagles can keep her." </p><p>Claude snorted, "You're the epitome of a fine delicate lady aren't you?" He took his own spoon to try to steal a bite of the custard. Not because he actually wanted it, but he wanted to give Hilda a hard time.</p><p>Hilda's fist was brought down where his hand had been a second too late. With her other hand, she took the spoon back out of her mouth to gesture threateningly with it, "Claude if you put a hand on my food, you will lose that hand!"</p><p>"Claude, aren't you old enough to learn not to touch other people's meals? How terrible can you be?" Lysithea huffed from where she sat and pulled her three bowls of custard closer, glaring at him.</p><p>"I'm not touching other people's meals. I'm trying to share a meal with Hilda, it's different." No it wasn't, but he was going to tease his younger classmate as much as possible. </p><p>"No you aren't, you don't even like this. Why don't you get your own?" Hilda picked her custard up to hold protectively as she ate. Her remaining food was unprotected but she knew Claude wasn't going to go for it.</p><p>"I will, I'm just waiting for the line to die down." Claude leaned on his hand, giving a significant glance towards the line for food.</p><p>"You're so lazy, Claude. You can't have food if you didn't work for it." Hilda scarfed down the rest of her treat before settling again.</p><p>"Oh and you worked soooo hard for your meal. What did you do, make someone else get it for you or just cut in line?"</p><p>"What? No. How dare you. I was in the line."</p><p>"You were not. You just ran up and told Marianne thank you for saving your spot and just got in front of her!" Lysithea snapped. </p><p>"Marianne did save my spot! You're the one who cut in front of us!" Hilda stuck out her tongue.</p><p>"Only because you jumped in front of me and Marianne! I waited my turn, you didn't!" Lysithea stood up and stomped her foot, fists clenched at her sides. </p><p>"You know what, I think I'm going to go get in line now." Claude leapt up from his seat and headed quickly to the line. He loved teasing Lysithea as much as the next person but that could go sour very fast, and he wasn't up for it. </p><p>The issue with getting into line now was he ended up behind Lorenz, which was never an ideal place to be for long periods of time, especially if there were any girls present. Luckily the person ahead of him was the one and only Ferdinand von Aegir, who was doing a masterful job of keeping Lorenz engaged in conversation. </p><p>"And how are your classes adjusting with such a unique instructor?" Lorenz asked, only giving Claude half a glance then ignoring him.</p><p>"So far I am feeling very positively! Our Professor is not from a traditional teaching background but her field experience is invaluable!" Ferdinand was practically glowing in his praises, but then he was like that with most of his moods. </p><p>Claude resisted the urge to smirk. The class he'd slipped into had been one on battle preparations and she had taken students aside for specific instruction. Ferdinand, he could already tell, was in line for Cavalry training and was pleased with the amount of attention he was receiving towards his development. Ferdinand had an ego almost rivaling Lorenz, but he was generally more friendly about it. </p><p>"I hope we will be able to benefit from similar soon. I must lament, I am disappointed in our lack of progression." Lorenz sighed. </p><p>"Take heart, I have heard tell someone may have been found to fill in for your class. The Golden Deer shall not be neglected much longer." Ferdinand offered.</p><p>"What?!? Really? Oh no…" Bernadetta's surprised voice came from the spot in line ahead of Ferdinand, where his frame had been blocking her from view.</p><p>Almost in unison, Claude and Lorenz leaned to the side to look past to see Bernadetta. </p><p>"Why might you have some desire not to have our House well taught, Bernadetta?" Lorenz asked, in a clipped attempt at being polite.</p><p>"Be nice, Lorenz. Maybe she's just worried about another new person being around." Claude attempted to be generous in his guess, lest Lorenz scare her off before she could explain.</p><p>"I- I-" </p><p>Bernadetta looked so afraid, eyes wide and nervous. It was not helped by Ferdinand's attempt to "coax" her into speaking, by suggesting they should be considerate of their fellow students.</p><p>Claude leaned back to a standing position to decrease how many eyes were on her. </p><p>"I...I was just hoping the Professor's brother would join us!" Bernadetta squeaked out at last, hiding under her hands quickly.</p><p>"A brother? I did not even know she had a brother." Ferdinand turned back to Lorenz, who straightened up, discussion now much more interesting.</p><p>Claude leaned past them again to see Bernadetta, "Why would you think her brother would automatically get the teaching job?" How did they select these? Just handing them out?!</p><p>"She seemed to think… she said he was better with people…" Bernadetta looked at the ground. "I thought it might make meeting another new professor easier if it's trusted by someone familiar…"</p><p>Claude gave up on trying to get more from her and stood, ready to give this topic up as lost… if he hadn't caught sight of Hubert.</p><p>Hubert, shrewd as ever, was not in line but had obviously been listening. However, his attention was no longer on Bernadetta but fixed nearby on someone else. Claude followed his gaze and couldn't hide the satisfied little smile at what he saw. Someone else had been listening in, and had a reaction that was very telling.</p><p>Flayn was seated close to the line and had quickly begun to stuff her face with her food, eating quickly to keep from looking up perhaps? She was red faced and practically vibrating in her seat like she just wanted to say something - a reaction Claude was getting used to spotting on her at interesting times. </p><p>As the line moved up, Claude took the chance to lean over and talk to her. "Hey, having a good meal? You seem to be enjoying it."</p><p>Flayn nearly choked and quickly swallowed, hands flailing briefly. "Yes! Yes I am! The fish is very good today!!" </p><p>"That's good to hear." He'd got her attention, now just to get her talking. "For a second, I thought you might have something to say on our conversation." </p><p>"What? Me? No, not at all!" Flayn was criminally unskilled at lying. "I was merely very engaged in my meal."</p><p>"Oh, that's too bad. I had hoped someone heard good news about our class. It's really no fun being in a class when our Professor is constantly called away from us." Just a little play for sympathy and a hint of honesty. </p><p>Those wide green eyes filled with concern and Flayn opened her mouth, as if she was considering speaking. Carefully, she offered, "Yes...that would be very sad. I too would like to learn more."</p><p>"Oh well, I guess we just have to wait and see. You haven't heard if Seteth has had any interviews for it yet even?" He had her, he was sure. Just reel it in. Damn,now she had him thinking in fish terms too.</p><p>Flayn looked very conflicted and Claude almost doubted his own skills when at last, payoff. Flayn hopped up and said very quietly, "You did not hear this or my brother will be upset, I'm sure. But what harm would it be?"</p><p>"No one needs to know you're involved." He agreed - not that anyone looking couldn't see, but if it made her feel better, sure.</p><p>Finally, she spoke in a hushed whisper, "The Professor's brother was here for an interview with my brother. I saw him the other day. My brother seemed to really like him." As quickly as she spoke, Flayn grabbed her tray and dashed away, as if she would be caught by the Goddess if she remained. </p><p>Well now!! That was some news! </p><p>Claude straightened up and settled back into line. He cast a glance to Hubert, who had probably heard but merely narrowed his uncovered eye at Claude then stalked off. He felt just a bit proud of that - Hubert could be Edelgard's shadow all he wanted, but you caught more flies with honey than creepy skulking. </p><p>Once he'd managed to actually get his food and eat it, Claude's brain had time to properly process just what all information he'd acquired so far. </p><p>So, Tate had a brother. Interesting to learn - was he like her? Jeralt wasn't particularly expressive, his daughter even less-so. Would a son be similar? Different? Somewhere in between? Yet, the brother wasn't with the mercenary company. Did he work elsewhere perhaps? Or just lead his own team elsewhere? A lot of potential.</p><p>The next was the matter of their secondary Professor. Where had Ferdinand heard they might have found one? Perhaps he was merely being positive to ease Lorenz but Ferdinand wasn't the sort of person to lie. So it was possible that someone truly had been found. That or people had heard of the interviews and jumped to conclusions. </p><p>Flayn having seen this brother here for an interview was the most fascinating piece of data. She had no reason to make that up - and probably couldn't believably anyway - so presumably he had been here. Had he given a name or mentioned the connection? Had Tate invited him perhaps? But she hadn't been at the Academy that long, would she have had time to learn of a position open and invited him up for it? </p><p>That Seteth had seemed to like him was the gem of the collection. It was Seteth, and it was pretty possible the man didn't like anyone in the world except Flayn. If she thought he liked someone, it could just be wishful thinking… or it could be the expertise of someone who knew Seteth far more personally than Claude ever could. He was inclined to lean more in Flayn's favor there. </p><p>Thinking like this led to the idea - what sort of person would Seteth like? The man didn't seem to like or trust Tate. Claude wasn't sure if that was because he actually objected to her as an individual or more because of her hiring, since Claude was almost positive Rhea had a hand in it. There was a lot of potential for interest here and thinking of it alone wouldn't help. Claude would just have to pick the brains of the other Golden Deer at afternoon lessons.</p><p>His plan of getting the others talking was held off by Manuela actually having time to teach them that day, and homework to return. Sadly, it appeared even on a day they had her, they couldn't have all of her attention. </p><p>"Professor Manuela, you didn't return my paper." Lysithea sounded stiff and displeased. "I worked very hard on those questions and I cannot improve if you don't return graded work to me." </p><p>"What? I should have had all of them to hand back - I'm sure I didn't lose any." Manuela frowned and looked over her desk - which was less messy than usual, Claude noticed. He also noticed that his was another paper that wasn't returned, but he wasn't going to mention that.</p><p>They watched her frantically searching before suddenly straightening up. "Oh that's right, I had forgotten. I gave some of your class's assignments over for grading practice. I thought I had all of these ones separated out to do myself, but it seems yours must have slipped in with the stack I gave away. I'll ask for it and make sure it's returned to you in the morning, Lysithea. Is anyone else missing theirs?" Manuela, at least, was good natured about how scatterbrained she was. </p><p>"Mine would be another one." Claude held up the hand he wasn't leaning on. </p><p>"Ooh looks like I didn't get a paper back either, Professor. Hopefully you didn't lose mine." Hilda started.</p><p>"That would be because you didn't hand one in, Hilda. You can't pull that trick on me." Manuela took down a note of the students who were missing work. </p><p>"So if I may ask, who did you hand them off too? I'm sure Tate has enough to grade and Hanneman told you he wasn't going to help." Claude asked the question innocently enough but he was wondering. Did that mean what he thought?</p><p>"He did, the nerve of him!" Manuela huffed before looking back at him. "And since when are you allowed to refer to your professors by name again, Claude?" </p><p>"Tate gave me permission to call her that." Claude held up his hands, sitting up again to do so. The effect of the gesture was more important than his lounging. He carefully made no excuse for Hanneman.</p><p>"Wait Professor Eisner's name is Tate?" Hilda looked over. Most people honestly just called Tate "Professor" while referring to Hanneman and Manuela by name, but Hilda was obviously trying not to get in the same trouble Claude was in. </p><p>"That's what she told me. I was going to call her something more casual but she didn't seem to take well to it. She's not really a 'Teach' kind of lady, so I asked what yo use instead and she said her nickname is Tate." </p><p>"It's a nickname? Then what's it short for?" Leonie was only interested probably due to the peripheral connection of it being a name Jeralt picked out and therefore perfect. </p><p>"This doesn't matter." Lysithea stood and slammed her hands on her desk, which did very little to it other than making a small slap sound. "Professor Manuela, where is my paper?"</p><p>Manuela rubbed the side if her head, eyes closed as she worked to stave off the headaches she claimed the class gave her - what, them? Never! </p><p>"I guess you all will be finding out sooner than later anyway. Seteth has found someone to take over the assistant teaching position and be a more full time Professor for the Golden Deer House. He happens to be an old friend of mine-"</p><p>"Oooh like a boyfriend?" Hilda couldn't resist, and who could blame her with Manuela's well known army of admirers and exes.</p><p>"Hardly." Manuela snorted, "No just a friend. Anyway, Seteth took a little longer than I'd like to make it official but in the end he did. I asked him to help me out with some grading as soon as I was allowed to deliver the news. I was going to let him just handle your morning class starting Monday but well a surprise isn't that big of a deal anyway." </p><p>Well, there was Claude's opening for speculation. The Golden Deer all knew they had another Professor coming the next week. He would just have to be patient and get them talking later.Manuela wouldn't give further information, other than a warning to behave themselves for their new instructor. She made them get back on task and that was the end, till she dismissed them for the day.</p><p>Soon as Manuela left, Hilda turned in her seat. "So. What do you all think the new assistant is like? An old friend of Manuela's could mean anything." </p><p>Here was exactly what Claude had been waiting for. He stood and stretched before sitting on the edge of the table now no one was around to scold him for it. "This is news to me. I'd heard of a candidate too but Im not sure it's the same one. I heard Seteth liked a particularly interesting candidate."</p><p>"What's so interesting about them? Whoever they are, I hope they can give us better guidance." Leonie had been a little extra sour since they lost the mock battle, as her precious Captain Jeralt was overseeing it. She almost hadn't been picked to participate but Ignatz had dropped out to let her have his spot.</p><p>"Well, this candidate would be especially interesting to you, Leonie. Did you know the Captain has another kid?" Claude started. If Leonie was intrigued, usually the others would be.</p><p>Instead of leaving, like she'd clearly been planning, Leonie leaned on the edge of her desk to look more closely at him. "You mean, besides the Professor?"</p><p>"That's what I heard, yeah. Apparently she told Bernadetta that she has a brother, one who is apparently 'better with people' than she is." </p><p>"That is good." Marianne's voice was barely above a whisper as she spoke, looking down at the table before her. "It's hard not being good with people." </p><p>"Being better with people than the Professor isn't saying much. She's really awkward like she's never talked to people before." Hilda looked over at Claude, "Did she really tell you that you can call her by name or did you just find it out and start anyway."</p><p>"Hilda you wound me." Claude motioned like he was falling back and held his heart. "She didn't so much say 'you can call me by name' but I promise, when I said 'well is there a nickname I can call you then?' she stared blankly at me and said 'Tate' after a minute. Which is about the equivalent, really." </p><p>"That does sound like how she talks!" Raphael was great backup - he didn't think too hard and he was ready to loudly agree with things that made sense to him.</p><p>"I hope whoever it is, her brother or Professor Manuela's friend, that we can meet their expectations." Ignatz was an eager student and definitely had been struggling with their inconsistent lessons. Some stability would probably do him good.</p><p>"Right now he needs to meet my expectations. Or at least return my paper! I hope Professor Manuela remembers to grade it when she gets it back." Lysithea was still on that, and Claude couldn't blame her - she put a lot of effort into her work and wasn't pleased to not be getting enough feedback. If they weren't careful, she'd transfer classes pretty quickly.</p><p>Just the same Claude couldn't resist poking the bear.  "Isn't it past your bedtime?" </p><p>"Claude you-!" </p><p>Lysithea's inarticulate rage was spectacular but thankfully did not end in violence as Lorenz took the opportunity to direct attention at Claude's failings as a House Leader and a person. By that point, Claude was tuning them back out and turning his thoughts elsewhere. The wells of the Golden Deer students' curiosity was clearly sapped for today. </p><p>All of these changes, the potential for so much to happen filled Claude with restless energy, even hours later. He tossed and turned in bed before ultimately giving up on sleep for a while and dressing again. Perhaps he’d try to get into the library again tonight, or sneak past the guards for a wander outside of the grounds. Just something to occupy his racing mind. </p><p>Step one was easy by now, getting out of his dorm silently and slipping out onto the grounds. There were plenty of reasons a student might be out of bed or making a trip around at night, so there weren’t quite so many watching guards as long as Claude stuck to the right places. </p><p>His usual route took him round and about and usually got him to the library just fine but right in the way, he found a distraction. It seemed he wasn’t the only one awake. A spare staff dorm near the Dining Hall was apparently now either being raided or had an occupant, given the light he saw from the doorway. </p><p>Creeping closer, Claude peeked into the room to see if he could get an idea of the source. Was this an intruder or perhaps just one of the Knights? Some staff? Flames, it could even be Seteth - that’d be a great way to get caught! </p><p>Just as Claude was rethinking his current curiosity, he spotted the person inside. Seated at a desk was a blonde man, looking over a stack of papers in front of him and making careful notes on them. He was barely a year or two older than Claude but decently built and with an ease of posture that spoke of complete comfort with his surroundings. As he looked up from the stack he was going through, the lamplight caught his face and it made Claude freeze - ok THAT was certainly familiar. He’d been thinking this was a student but oh no, he knew who this was now.</p><p>“If you’re going to stand there without knocking, you can either just come in or be on your way.” The young man turned to the partly open door and leaned on his hand, smiling. That was even more startling to see than recognizing his face, because the person Claude was thinking of certainly didn’t smile. </p><p>Deciding he wasn’t going to get any less curious by not entering, he pushed the door open and came into the room. “You caught me. I was wondering who was up at this hour.” </p><p>“Well, you are for one thing, but I take it you meant besides wandering students.~” That grin was so bright and so self-assured, Claude almost wanted to applaud. That was a grin he himself would feel proud to be able to throw out casually. </p><p>“Exactly. Especially since I don’t think you are a student. Am I right?” Claude leaned on the desk and saw the confirmation for himself before he even got a response. The top paper on the stack in front of this man was his. Welp!</p><p>The blonde glanced from Claude to the paper and back up, “I think you know the answer to that already. I’m Jorah. Do I get to know your name?” </p><p>“You might, but I’m suddenly feeling shy.” Claude huffed a soft laugh, his cheeks warming as he looked away from his own sloppy work. He had not cared enough about that assignment and it probably gave the worst impression of his work ethic. </p><p>Jorah looked to him and was quiet for a moment then smiled, “You’re responsible for the...wonderful treatise I’ve been working my way through here, about why someone called Lorenz needs to shut up.” </p><p>Claude blinked and looked back, “Did I write that? I didn’t think I was that zoned out when I was doing that assignment.” </p><p>“It was in the margin.” Jorah’s grin widened, “Nice to meet you, Claude.” </p><p>Something about that grin made Claude want to push his boundaries just a little, so he tried something. It hadn’t worked on the sister, but how about the brother? “Nice to meet you too, Teach.”</p><p>Jorah blinked then laughed. Well, that wasn’t an objection. In fact, it was a rather nice laugh.</p><p>“There isn’t any chance I could make that...very terrible example of my work disappear from your memory is there? Within reason, anyway.” Claude felt way less confident than he sounded when he cracked that attempt at a joke. This was a very new person of some authority in his life, and he could very easily be pushing his luck too far. </p><p>Jorah looked at him, then at the paper. “What, this mess? I’m not sure I could ever forget it. Such language for your classmates, Claude.” He was teasing and that grin stayed in his face.</p><p>“Teach, please. That’s mean.” He smiled, but Claude internally resigned himself to this first impression of his work. He could be a bit of a slacker but he wasn’t usually that bad, and it would take a lot to make up for it, probably. </p><p>Then, Jorah’s eyes softened and his grin slipped more into a smile, and he held the paper out to Claude. “It seems I’ve misplaced one of the papers I had just graded. If a new and improved copy were to suddenly reappear in its place, I believe I might be obligated to regrade it, especially if no evidence of the original can be traced.” </p><p>Claude was stunned and tried not to let it show on his face but failed. “Really?” He took the paper quickly before Jorah changed his mind.</p><p>“Seems fair to me. I might even consider finding another paper if a certain student I heard didn’t even turn one in manages to get me one. Manuela is rather eager to get the grading off of her plate and onto mine, so I think I have some leeway here.” Jorah shrugged and pulled the next in the stack he was going to work on - clearly Lysithea’s, given the neat purple ink that was crammed onto the page. </p><p>If Claude weren’t the sort of person he was, he might’ve thought it best to take his opportunity and run. But alas, he was the curious kind who was more eager to stay and learn about this person now that he’d seen an odd trait like this. What made a teacher decide to fudge the rules of assignments and grades in such a way?</p><p>“Is there a catch to this?” he asked, because the more cynical question was the easiest. </p><p>“Well if I were to not find a new paper in place of the one that’s missing, I would have to consider that one wasn’t turned in and give you a 0 for the assignment but otherwise, no, not really.” Jorah looked back up at him, and rested his chin on his hand, the pen in his left hand twirling. </p><p>“A reasonable caveat. When would you be looking for these papers?”</p><p>“I promised Manuela that I’d get her these assignments graded in the morning, as well as the ones she gave me by mistake. I promised I’d grade those too to keep her from falling behind, so she’s in good spirits with me. If this one is missing tomorrow morning, she’ll forgive me. But I will definitely have had time to look by Monday when I start so make of that what you will.” </p><p>Claude nodded, looking over his assignment, then glanced back at Jorah. “If there’s no serious catch, then why? Why bother?”</p><p>Jorah glanced up and raised a brow at him, “I thought you were here to learn.” </p><p>“I am.” Claude raised his own brow, mirroring the expression and the way Jorah’s head was tilted, as if that would help him understand.</p><p>“You’re not going to learn as much from having bad marks stay in your final grade as you will from trying to improve on your own work.” </p><p>Claude smiled. “I better go make sure this gets properly lost then. Good night, Teach.” </p><p>“Good night, Claude. I look forward to meeting you on Monday.~”</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Tate Learns about Embarrassment</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I realized I never mentioned - the twins are about 18-19 rather than the game's 20-21.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Oh Professor, you look a mess.” Mercedes’ gentle laughter was the only thing that could soothe the disappointment Tate had in herself. “Here, let me help you with that.” </p><p>A soft cloth was dabbed on Tate’s nose and cheeks, to help remedy the abundance of flour and batter that had found its way there. It was good someone could take charge of this because the woman herself was overwhelmed and displeased. If she’d been alone, she was sure she would have just flopped to the floor for a while then just gone about her day still a mess. </p><p>“It was a really good try, Professor! These things are super difficult!” Annette cheered from her position nearby, washing the dinner dishes. </p><p>“Thank you both.” Tate managed to pull herself together enough to start cleaning the flour from her clothes and hair, instead of leaving it all to Mercedes, who was an angel for helping her at all.</p><p>“They’re really not bad little cakes at all. Real bakers take many years to perfect their skills, don’t they?” Mercedes suggested, backing off to let Tate finish cleaning herself up. </p><p>“I wanted to do better.” Tate looked blandly at the little cakes on the table. She’d glare at them if it didn’t take so much energy to try. They were sloppy and burnt in spots and certainly not as pretty as the ones she’d seen in illustrations or shops. </p><p>“Professor, you have to practice before you can get good at things like that. You don’t expect you have to be good at everything the first time, do you?” Mercedes was still speaking with that tone she used, the one of fond mirth at her classmates. She seemed like the kind of person no one could disappoint, and it was very soothing.</p><p>“Yeah, come on Professor! You don’t expect that of your students, why should you expect that of yourself? You had to go over those tactics for a whole extra hour yesterday!” Annette turned quickly and gripped Tate’s arm in emphasis, probably intending that as a gesture of solidarity and support. The meaning was somewhat undercut by the fact that Annette had forgotten she was washing the dishes and up to her arms in soapy water, so had just splashed suds and water on Tate, as well as held her with wet arms. </p><p>Mercedes quickly stepped in front of the baked goods and put her arms up to prevent herself from getting splashed in turn. Tate, meanwhile, had no hope to get out of this dry but wasn’t really bothered by it. She was a mess either way and Annette meant no harm by it. Still she braced herself for what she knew was coming.</p><p>“OHH Professor Oh no I am so so sorry!!!” Annette flailed, lifting her arms up and away quickly.</p><p>Tate reached out and just took hold of her wrists to keep her from splashing them even further with her flailing. “Annette, breathe.” She said seriously, just trying to get the other girl to calm down. </p><p>“I’m making such a mess, I’m sorry!!” The intense desire to flail was causing her to tense horribly in Tate’s arms even as Annette tried to calm herself. In turn, Tate was getting worked up - her own disappointments and overwhelmed state not coupling well with trying to not harm her student as she tried to keep her out of trouble.</p><p>Calm arrived in the form of a pair of hands coming gently to rest on Annette’s biceps. “She knows you’re sorry, it’s ok, Miss. Just breathe like she told you. Everything’s going to be fine.” The new voice seemed to distract Annette at least, and did a great deal to soothe Tate herself, with new direction. “Tatertot, let go of her wrists. I know you wanted her to stop flailing her hands so she wouldn’t make more mess, but one of you is going to get hurt if you aren’t careful. Back up and stand with the nice girl behind you, that’s it.”</p><p>Tate immediately released Annette’s wrists and stepped back to Mercedes, who rubbed her back soothingly. “That’s right, Annie, it’s just a little soap and water. Nothing we can’t clean up. The Professor isn’t upset with you.” Mercedes spoke to her friend with ease. </p><p>“Right, you’re right. I’m still sorry, but we’re ok. Everything’s ok. I should get back to the dishes - oh but there’s a mess and-.” Annette cut herself off, taking the deep breaths as instructed and seemed to be trying to ease herself yet again before she got wound back up.</p><p>“You’re doing fine, take a minute to get yourself calmed down and then we can clean up the water that got on the floor, then you can get back to the dishes. They can wait a minute.” Jorah took his hands off Annette’s arms to step away towards the nearby supply closet. “You guys just wound each other up, it happens. Are your wrists ok?”</p><p>“Yes!” Annette held them up to show no marks or red spots. “The Professor was very gentle with me.” </p><p>“Then nobody got hurt. No harm, no foul.” He came back over with cleaning supplies to start mopping up the mess from the baking and dishes. </p><p>“Everybody had a bit of a scare but it’s all over now.” Mercedes left Tate to take a towel and start drying off Annette’s hands before she forgot and flailed again. She paused to smile at Jorah at one point when he came over to collect the damp towel from her. “Thank you for helping us. I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m Mercedes. Are you a new student?”</p><p>“I’m Annette.” She seemed to be trying very seriously to obey the instruction to take a few moments to calm down. This was quickly interrupted - as her quick mind was wont to do to her - with a blink as something else came to mind. “Ah, you called the Professor ‘Tatertots’. Where did that come from?” </p><p>“Her name.” Jorah blinked then chuckled, looking to his sister. “Right, most people just call you ‘Professor’ don’t they?” </p><p>“Most do.” Tate nodded. </p><p>“But how did Tatertots get involved?” Annette flailed again, but with less mess this time thanks to Mercedes.</p><p>Tilting her head to the side, Tate blinked at her, “My first name is Potato.” </p><p>A little snort of laughter that was quickly muffled drew all of their attention. In the doorway, cheeks a little red and a gloved hand covering her mouth, was Edelgard. She composed herself quickly and looked at Tate with a mixture of disbelief and amusement. “Professor, tell me that was a joke.”</p><p>Tate shook her head, feeling a little helpless now. Of course Edelgard had arrived right when Tate really didn’t want her to - which was rare, she generally felt a place was always improved with the presence of Edelgard. But here she was, with flour and suds and water all over her and disappointing cakes on the table. She had never truly felt embarrassed before, especially not about her name, but Tate was starting to consider that an applicable feeling for this situation.</p><p>Jorah shook his head, his eyes quickly moving between his sister and Edelgard. He knew Tate better than anyone - even better than their father - and he could probably tell what she was struggling with here. </p><p>“That’s not how Tate tells jokes, I’m afraid.” He gave a small smile, “You must be a particularly good student if you’ve never received any of her notes on your work.~”</p><p>Annette looked up at him, “Wait...what do her notes have to-” Her eyes widened and she jumped, “No!!! Those cute little squiggles she signs them with? IT’S A POTATO?!” Her face lit up with delight at the realization, which just added to Tate’s growing knowledge of the feeling of ‘embarrassment’. </p><p>Mercedes gave a quiet little laugh, “Oh Professor, that’s adorable.” </p><p>Edelgard was either feeling generous with regards to Tate’s awkwardness, or a new person being around was more vital to her interests, and she quickly turned to size up Jorah instead. Looking him up and down, she gave that quiet thoughtful hum she didn’t usually notice giving, “I take it you’re the Professor’s brother. I had word you were starting a teaching position here soon. I’m interested to see how you compare to her in skills.”</p><p>“Not at all, I’m afraid. I am the most boring person you will ever meet. The name’s Jorah.” He gave a grin and turned to the sink, which had a lot more dishes in it now from the earlier baking and any that got hit with the mess. </p><p>“How did you get a name like Jorah but her name is Potato?” Annette asked, following along to get back to her dishes. </p><p>“I picked it. And that is all you need to know.” Jorah lightly booped the tip of his finger on her nose and then got back to working into the suds. </p><p>Annette laughed and joined him, satisfied with this explanation it seems.</p><p>Mercedes, taking pity on Tate - or perhaps truly just an angel as suspected - gently nudged her, “You’re here for your appointment together, aren’t you, Edelgard? The Professor was just going to get cleaned up. We ran a little late on a project she was working on but I’m sure she’ll be ready for you shortly.” </p><p>“I can see you need a moment.” Edelgard agreed, looking to Tate with mild concern brewing behind her eyes, “If you need to reschedule-”</p><p>“No!” </p><p>The speed and exclamation to her voice startled even Tate, and she quickly had to compose herself. “No, we don’t need to reschedule. I picked this time for a reason. I will be swift getting changed and be back in a moment.” </p><p>“If you insist…” Edelgard looked past them, “Are those cakes what you were working on?” </p><p>“Yes, the Professor wanted to make something nice for your tea together. Isn’t that thoughtful of her?” Nope, Mercedes couldn’t be an angel because she was definitely a traitor. Tate looked at her and wished she could force all of the mixed feelings and disappointment at their creations to display on her face. Sadly, still nothing.</p><p>Edelgard, for her part, didn’t seem put off by these. “For me? That’s very thoughtful, Professor. They are edible, I hope?” </p><p>Resigned to her fate, Tate nodded. “They taste fine and are mostly unburnt. The execution is much more poor than I desired, however.” </p><p>“It would be a waste not to have them then - or to leave them till they’re less fresh. Go ahead and get ready and I will...sample one to ensure it’s a suitable quality to go with our tea.” The way Edelgard spoke, Tate wasn’t sure if she was sparing her feelings...or the princess’s sweet tooth was just that potent. </p><p>Rather than stay and speculate on anything further, losing them precious time, Tate dashed from the kitchens at top speed. She didn’t care if the students saw her vaulting the hedges between the classrooms and the dormitories or sprinting along to her room at the far end of the row. Getting cleaned up and presentable was a quick and efficient process, and Tate was soon enough dashing back to meet them again. </p><p>Edelgard was staring at her, a hard to read expression on her face. “Professor, did you...truly hop up a wall and over a hedge to get back here faster?”</p><p>“We have an appointment and I was already running late.” Tate agreed, “Were the cakes sufficient to eat?” </p><p>“Were-oh! Yes. They were.” Edelgard glanced away and brushed at her face to get rid of imagined crumbs. </p><p>“I’ve packed them up for you both to take.” Mercedes handed over the basket. “We’ll finish the cleaning in here, you two have a nice time.” </p><p>“Thank you, Mercedes.” Tate took the basket easily and turned to offer her arm to Edelgard. </p><p>For a moment, her student seemed surprised and Tate was afraid this was an incorrect way to invite her along. Then a proper little smile bloomed on Edelgard’s face and she gracefully took Tate’s arm to accompany her. </p><p>“I must admit, I am very curious about your desire to stick so closely to this timeline. I almost suspect you have an ulterior motive, Professor.” Edelgard had a way of saying such things to most people, where she was probing for answers but could pretend it was a joke. With Tate, she knew the truth was it was both. It was always a bit of both. </p><p>“I had a well chosen reason for the timing.” Tate agreed. “The spot I wanted to have tea in gives me an easy view of the stables and I can keep track of how long we have better.” </p><p>“Is there a reason the stables would help us keep track of time?” Edelgard must have trusted Tate, at least a bit, because she didn’t seem suspicious of this admission and more genuinely curious.</p><p>“Did you notice this week’s duty roster?” Tate asked, glancing over to her. She wasn’t as good at giving meaningful looks as some, so it was really more just a chance to look at Edelgard, who always had the most to say in the minute changes in her facial features. </p><p>“I recall you making it, but at the time you specified that you had plans and I wouldn’t be selected this week, so I confess I didn’t feel the need to check.” Edelgard’s cheeks colored faintly and she glanced to the side. </p><p>Tate felt her heart warm at that minor admission of trust and she gently pat Edelgard’s arm. They had reached their destination so she was able to set down the basket and direct her companion’s eye out the window towards the stables. “I had something in mind.” </p><p>She watched Edelgard peering out the window while she set up the tea things for them. Soon enough, she heard the distant yelling voices, and knew Edelgard would probably be able to see exactly what she was up to. </p><p>“Was it wise to assign Ferdinand and Hubert to work together, Professor?” She turned away from the window and sat across from Tate, beginning to lay herself out a few of the little cakes. They apparently really did meet her approval.</p><p>“If I want Hubert to have any chance of eventually taking on a mounted role, he does need to get comfortable with the animals and them with him. Ferdinand is one of our most experienced riders and generally gets on swimmingly with them.” Tate suggested but she knew Edelgard would not believe that was the full explanation, and it wasn’t. </p><p>“You could still have made another combination to accomplish the same goals. Is this your way of trying to get them to fight less?” Edelgard looked at her scrutinously. </p><p>“That and it would give you an hour or three free of either of them.” Tate glanced up and really wished she could show how bright and warm such an idea had made her. Especially when Edelgard’s eyes lit up at the realization.</p><p>“Professor, really. I can handle them myself.” Edelgard smiled at her snack just the same and her cheeks flushed again. </p><p>They pair of them chatted idly for a while, enjoying their tea and cakes, and the occasional shouting they could hear from the stables. Eventually, things were winding down and it was time to return to business. The shouting had ceased and Hubert was likely looking for his princess once more.</p><p>Tate carefully set the basket, now empty of cakes, aside so they could sit and enjoy their tea. When Hubert arrived, it would be less a frivolous little break to relax, and more proper strategy and business as usual. They didn’t have to discuss it, both she and Edelgard just knew how things had to be. As Tate cleaned the crumbs off the table, Edelgard reached out and touched Tate’s hand with her own gloved one and gave her a very soft glance. Just a moment, a thanks that didn’t need to be said, before they were fully composed again.</p><p>Hubert entered the tearoom silently, but Tate knew he was there. </p><p>“How was Stable Duty?” Tate asked, not looking away from the window, where she could see the clouds moving across the sky.</p><p>“A trial of my patience, as you likely predicted. Ferdinand is as proud of his abilities as ever. I don’t see the value in this exercise, but I performed it as requested.”</p><p>“Hubert.” Edelgard’s tone was less scolding and more just a nudge of sorts, but she and Hubert had that way about them. </p><p>“How are you faring with the horses?” Tate ignored any attempts at attitude from him. </p><p>“They are ugly beasts and I do not see the use of them. For myself, anyway.” Hubert narrowed his visible eye at her, but it was more questioning than threat. Hubert’s expressions seemed to often be easy to mistake as threats - and that was generally on purpose - but he was still a young man, and still learning just as much as the others.</p><p>“The use will be when you can take up a position closer to the front lines at Lady Edelgard’s side, and be more maneuverable and less prone to damage. A Dark Knight has more strategic benefit in the long run than merely a Warlock or a Dark Priest. It is a difficult role for someone primarily a spellcaster to fill, but one I think you have the drive to achieve.” Tate looked at him now, speaking plainly. </p><p>For all she had wanted a bit of Edelgard’s time and to give the princess a little chance to relax and be a girl, not House Leader or someone with the weight of the world on her shoulders, Tate would not do so in a way that would compromise her students’ education. She had never before been or wanted to be a teacher, but it was her lot now and she would excel at it for them. She had taken a very thorough look at the Certification Exams, the various skill tracks that could be honed in on to qualify for these Exams, and how best to study for them. It would be a lot of work but she was trying to live up to the expectations Edelgard had of her as Professor over the Black Eagle House - she would mold them into the best the Officer’s Academy could produce.</p><p>Hubert, for a split second, looked taken aback. But credit to his skills of self-command, he quickly recovered and smirked at her. “I see you’re putting thought into our progress. As expected of our Professor. Keep at it.”</p><p>Edelgard sipped her tea before opening on a topic, “We were discussing the new Assistant Professor you provided me information on. I met him today and we have confirmed it is our Professor’s brother that was selected for the role.” </p><p>Tate nodded, both to corroborate the story and because she knew this topic would return soon enough. No one with a head for strategy like Edelgard would let something like this go forever.</p><p>“So do we have anything to worry about with the Golden Deer House under his command?” Hubert looked to Edelgard rather than to Tate herself. It was less out of specific disrespect and more that was just to be expected of him. All were below her in his eyes.</p><p>“That is what I was inquiring of. When he introduced himself, he said he was the most boring person I would ever meet.” Edelgard gave a small wry little grin.</p><p>“He has clearly never met several Imperial Ministers.” Hubert gave a dark chuckle.</p><p>“I am sure the Empire does not have exclusive stock in boring nobles. From what I have gleaned from Lorenz, his father would be equally as tiresome as any of your Ministers.” Tate observed. </p><p>Hubert had to mask a laugh as a cough, and his hair fluffed up in the process, eye wide, making him look both undignified and much less intimidating than usual. It was adorable. Edelgard also seemed to think so because she had to mask her own laugh, though that could alternately have been at Tate’s comment.</p><p>“I see our Professor is learning to engage with your sense of humor, Hubert.” Edelgard managed after her quiet giggle. </p><p>“In time she may even be as skilled at blithe insults as I am.” </p><p>“I wouldn’t want to put you out of a job.” Tate remarked then thoughtfully finished her drink. “As for my brother, it would be wise for us to be wary of the Golden Deer House going forward. While Professor Manuela is not unskilled, her distractions and tendency to hang back healing does not mesh completely with many of the students of that House or suit as an efficient strategy against ours.” </p><p>“And your brother is more likely to lead them differently? Tell me, what sort of fighter is he? You would have trained together as mercenaries, I trust.” Edelgard looked over at her, gaze shrewd and gears likely already whirling in her mind. </p><p>“I cannot tell you exactly, as I do not know. I know he will probably have his own style that will cater to them and that is worth watching. But I do not know his fighting style.” Tate shook her head, “He is not a Mercenary.” </p><p>Here both students blinked at her, looking with wide eyes. </p><p>“He isn’t?” Edelgard seemed confused, “What is he then?”</p><p>Tate shrugged, “I do not know. He left the company to work on his own very often. He and my father did not see eye to eye." She cocked her head to the side then added, "Dorothea may have met him. He told me that he knew Manuela from working as a stagehand for the Mittelfrank Opera Company. He may have met our dear diva as well." </p><p>Edelgard looked a little surprised, "That is the first time you have called one of us 'dear'. Are you picking up bad habits from your students now?" </p><p>"I am learning." Tate answered distantly, though felt that twinge of embarrassment returning. She felt glad that Edelgard had not mentioned her name or earlier state of dress to Hubert yet, and that she would probably refrain till later. It seemed it was very easy for her to become embarrassed around Edelgard. It was good that her face had yet to learn to show such a thing.</p><p>"Be that as it may, I think you have taken up enough of Lady Edelgard's time today. My lady, we have matters to attend to." Hubert managed to say that without sounding impatient or nasty, which was very good progress for him on tolerating Tate. </p><p>"Yes, let us depart." Edelgard stood to leave then paused at the door. Her voice was very quiet as she spoke, giving Tate a soft, almost vulnerable, little glance. "Thank you for today, my teacher."</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Claude jumps the line for perspective focus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Claude had been eagerly awaiting Monday when he could see how the rest of the House dealt with their new “Assistant” Professor. He’d managed to bully Hilda into doing her paper - and keeping him company while he redid his - and handed them in Friday night so he’d had all weekend waiting to see how his improved work was graded on top of waiting to see the class reactions. </p><p>So far, of the Golden Deer, he was the only one who had explicitly met Jorah. Claude had heard that Annette and Mercedes met him briefly, and that Edelgard had seen him, but he was overall keeping a low profile. It helped that Hilda was too lazy to follow him to deliver their papers and so hadn’t met him, and the others had no idea Claude had already had his introduction so couldn’t be hounded for answers. </p><p>This introduction did not disappoint for memorability, that was for sure. As soon as they’d entered the classroom, they had found their new Professor seated cross legged on his desk - score one for Claude’s enjoying of leaning/sitting on desks! - wearing something akin to the Academy’s Summer Uniform with it’s tan vest and pants making him look like much more like a scholar than his mercenary family. There were two glass jars beside him. One jar was full of folded scraps of paper but the other - and the one Claude knew caught certain eyes immediately - was full of beautiful, individually wrapped pieces of candy. </p><p>Filing into the room, several of the group were curious and had things to say, but Claude could already see Lysithea moving to sit in her spot at the front, shoulders stiff as she stared forward at that jar of candy, probably willing it all to become hers. This guy was either brilliant or a complete idiot. EIther was a viable choice, but Claude’s money was on ‘brilliant’, mostly because he was already extremely biased towards Jorah.</p><p>Raphael was the one who didn’t even wait to take his seat before speaking, giving a big grin as soon as he entered and booming a greeting. “You must be the new Professor! It’s great to meet you! I’m Raphael Kirsten!” He bounded up to the front like a great big dog to clap Jorah on the arm. </p><p>The most telling part of this was that getting a slap on the arm from Raphael didn’t budge Jorah from his seat. He may have dressed the part of scholarly teacher, but apparently there was some muscle under that dress shirt because no normal person can take a slap from the Golden Deer’s resident battering ram and not flinch. That move would have left - and had previously - left Claude with a bruise that lasted a week or more. </p><p>“I’m glad you gave me a name, Raphael, or I’d have had to call you ‘Beefcake’ till I learned.” Jorah grinned and gave a firm smack on the arm in return. “I hope you don’t do that to your classmates. I think you’d break some of them with that.” </p><p>“No way! I don’t want to just hurt people! I know how to be careful. I’ve got a little sis to worry about!” Raphael said, all the concern of his big heart and love for his family on display.</p><p>“Then we’re going to get on great, big guy. I’m a big brother myself so I feel ya there.” Jorah gave him a nudge back towards the desks - which on most people would probably be a full on shove. “Go have a seat so I can meet the rest of this lovely posse. You lot look like you’re eager to speak.” </p><p>Claude wished he’d brought some sort of snack to eat while he watched this show unfold. Because already this was going to be spectacular. From Lysithea’s tight focus on the sweets to Leonie clearly itching to ask about the Captain to Lorenz’s most judgemental face - the one he usually reserved for Claude himself, what an honor! </p><p>Lorenz made to speak but was quickly interrupted by Leonie, who could not hold her chill for a moment longer. The look of aghast disappointment he gave her was beautiful.</p><p>“Are you really Captain Jeralt’s son? You do look more like him than she does.” Leonie seemed pleased about this fact. </p><p>Claude looked again, considering. He’d noted that Jorah was blonde but that had been a less important fact than that he was new and unfamiliar. Looking closer, he really did seem to have a more obvious family resemblance - his face shape and hair resembled his sister, but the color made his connection to his father more visible. Jorah’s seemed to have a greenish tint at the tips but that could be from his mother or could even just be dye. </p><p>Jorah looked at her calmly then gave a lopsided smile, leaning back on his arm. “Oh, me? I’m a bandit.” </p><p>Leonie looked confused but Claude had to muffle a snort of laughter in his elbow, which got her glaring at him. He couldn’t help it! That was exactly what Tate had said to Alois when asked that same question. </p><p>Taking pity on Leonie - or perhaps just deciding to nip things in the bud - Jorah got more serious once more. “Unless you wish to call my father’s representation of my parentage into question, we’re gonna go with ‘yea I’m his kid’.” Before she could speak further, he put up a hand. “You got your first question, you need to wait or the gentleman with the sculpted eyebrows over here is going to flip out. Yes, sir, what can I do for you?”</p><p>Claude was dying here. It was mystifying watching the way Lorenz’s face turned colors and moods from the various states of ‘offended’ to ‘indignant and defensive’ to ‘surprised’ to warring with the Gloucester Good Breeding (a very choice brand of Lorenz behavior). Jorah had managed to both give the puffed up noble exactly what he wanted, while also blatantly calling out a portion of his appearance in a way that wasn’t visibly either a compliment or an insult. That was going to take Lorenz a little to process. </p><p>Composing himself admirably fast, Lorenz gave his proper full name before his question, because Goddess forbid he be known for his eyebrows. "Good morning, I am Lorenz Hellman Gloucester. As our new Assistant Professor, might I ask...why are you sitting on the desk?" </p><p>"To make people like you ask questions." He looked over them again and immediately called on someone before either Lorenz or Leonie could fire off another. "Yes, to the boy in the glasses who has his hand up? Very polite of you by the way." </p><p>"Thank you. Should we call you Assistant Professor or just Professor, and will you be going over your teaching plan for today?" Ignatz asked before quickly added, "I'm Ignatz by the way."</p><p>"Good work Ignatz, gave me two questions at once. I'll let you have em because you were polite.~" Jorah stretched. "You lot can call me whatever you like - provided it's not derogatory. My name is Jorah if you want to just call me that but I will also accept Professor, Assistant Professor or other relevant nicknames. If you call me 'hey you' you do run the risk of me not realizing you want my attention but that's your call."</p><p>"What about calling you 'Teach'?" Hilda asked with a sky smirk at Claude. She knew he'd tried to call Tate that and been shut down and she'd heard him refer to Jorah as that when talking about their work, so had to tease him.</p><p>"Nope, afraid not." Jorah said. </p><p>Claude blinked in surprise. Hilda voiced what he was thinking, "Really?"</p><p>"Yup. I'm afraid Claude got there first so now has exclusive rights to calling me Teach. It surprised me and made me laugh, so he gets it." Jorah grinned there. "Now I think I better take a question from this lady in the front before she combusts."</p><p>Looking over, Claude could see Lysithea had urgently put up her hand after it got Ignatz his questions and was bouncing in her seat to get attention. Adorably childish of her and he'd be fried for saying so. She looked so furiously determined for being so excited.</p><p>“Will you be making an effort to catch us up to other classes? What is your plan for our development going forward? And...what are the jars for?” </p><p>Jorah pondered then shook his head. “That was three questions so I’m afraid I will have to charge for the third. You can have all three at once if you introduce yourself.”</p><p>“Fine. I am Lysithea von Ordelia.” Lysithea sat back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest. She tracked Jorah with her eyes much like how a cat tracks a bug it’s chasing. </p><p>“Nice to meet you, Lysithea von Ordelia.” Jorah got up from the desk now, pacing in front of them and using his hands to emphasize words as he spoke. “The answers are yes, of course I will. I just need to assess your current progress and proficiencies first because I want a proper understanding of you all before I plan any directions. While I love Manuela, I don’t really want to go off of her judgement of anyone’s skills, especially when she doesn’t teach the way I do and has a different idea of what in depth study should entail.” </p><p>He spun back around to look at them all, “So yes, I know there’s been an issue with your studies, some of you are way more behind than others or are different kinds of learners and haven’t been catered to quite so much. I’m from more of a tutoring background than a traditional teaching one, so I try to focus individually where I can. I will do what I can to try to get your lessons up to a speed that suits you, without completely leaving behind your classmates.” </p><p>“A tutoring background? I thought you were a mercenary.” Leonie chimed in, earning a glare from Lysithea.</p><p>“Well you thought wrong.” Jorah bounced his brows. “My father was a mercenary and my sister was a mercenary but I am not. I have been many things and I have done mercenary work, but primarily I’m a tutor and looking to become a full time teacher. This is actually the primary vocation I want to be in.” </p><p>“So are you friends with Manuela from work?” Hilda asked. </p><p>“Yes, I was a stagehand for a time. Now l promised Lysithea an answer and I need to get back to it.” Jorah gestured to the jars on the desk. “Generally I know young people are very food motivated - and I know this partly because I am a young people and I can be very food motivated. So the easiest way to help with that is sweets. Which Lysithea gets one of because she had to wait through two people stomping on her question.” </p><p>Jorah opened the candy jar and plucked one out to put on Lysithea’s desk before closing it again. </p><p>“Then what’s the other jar for?” Lorenz raised one of his sculpted - dammit, now Claude couldn’t stop noticing it! - eyebrows. </p><p>“Anyone who’s not fond of or can’t have sweets. Right now it’s mostly just reward passes because I couldn’t think of things but I will take submissions within reason. Like I’m not buying you guys rare perfumes or something, I do not have that kind of time or money on my hands and most of you have more money than I do. But like I can make a consideration for some things that would be of special interest to a particular student.” </p><p>Lysithea was a clear example of the effectiveness of food motivation, because she had already eaten her piece of candy and was looking at the jar greedily, probably already devising every possible way to game the system and get herself as much as possible.</p><p>“Because of the aforementioned not being made of money, I am going to be a little choosy on how many sweets I’m giving out. So while we have some...very food motivated people in this class, it’s going to be for extremely good answers and participation, and probably a limit of one or two per class.” </p><p>That got a pout from Lysithea and Jorah made a face then took another candy out of the jar to plop on her desk. “It’s the first day, I can be nice.” </p><p>Claude hid a small smirk. Oh, oh this could be very telling. Jorah had mentioned he was a ‘big brother’ to Raphael as well, and while Tate was not what one might picture as someone’s little sister, the dynamic was there. The first person he’d openly met with and been liked by at the Academy was Flayn (well and Seteth, but Flayn was the notable one), and then he met the likes of Annette and Mercedes. Now he was giving in to Lysithea’s pouting. </p><p>What some might take from this was that Jorah had a weakness for ladies, ala the likes of Sylvain. But one does not give in to a pouting and temperamental Lysithea the same way they give into someone they’re attracted to. No, he was letting himself get arm-twisted into pleasing the tiny and cute pouty child that was in the room. </p><p>“Teach, do you feed the cats around the school too?” Claude asked, leaned on his wrist and openly addressed Jorah for the first time. </p><p>Jorah looked at him and quirked a small smile. “I will neither confirm nor deny that I feed the cats, and you certainly cannot prove I spent several hours this weekend fishing to give them treats.”</p><p>“Oh is that why you were fishing? I thought maybe Flayn just asked for one.” Claude leaned back in his seat and put his legs up on the desk. If his guess was right…</p><p>Jorah’s mouth shut quickly in a guilty smile and he actually blushed, his ears even turning red. He took a moment before putting up a hand, “OK so she might have asked me for a fish first and showed me the pond, but after the first five, the rest were entirely for the cats.” </p><p>“FIVE? Teach, come on. Really?” Claude laughed and nearly fell back out of the seat he was tipping in. </p><p>“Do you just do anything people ask you, Professor?” Hilda’s eyes sparkled. She loved having people around she could con into things for her.</p><p>Jorah huffed a laugh and shook his head. “Within reason. You’re not getting through this class with no work, Miss Goneril.” </p><p>Hilda pouted, “How’d you already know my name?” </p><p>“I took a guess from the fact you’re sitting with Claude and the fact Manuela already told me you don’t like to do work. I have your papers by the way.” Jorah stood straight again and walked back to his desk to get them.</p><p>“But Hilda didn’t turn in a paper?” Lysithea seemed very suspicious of this. She’d gotten hers back on Friday and at the time had been very pleased it was graded, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to be scrutinous of all grading practices.</p><p>“Well you probably have all noticed that I have already met Claude. He caught me grading and got to be the first one to learn some of my grading policy. That being, I will regrade an assignment if you redo it and make an honest effort to improve. And since I was feeling generous, I told him I’d accept Hilda’s paper if she actually did it in the same timeframe.” </p><p>Ignatz spoke up now, surprised, “You’d do that?”</p><p>“Yup. If you guys are struggling with the lessons, it’s my job to help you improve. Letting you replace the grade on assignments you may have had an issue with is only fair. I also provide alternate assignments and extra credit.” Jorah passed the papers to Claude and Hilda before making a gesture. “I will say, there’s a caveat to the late work submissions. If you just forgot it or something came up, I’ll take it late for full marks. If you just chose not to do it, you may have to do a few extra questions or an additional portion to the assignment to make up for slacking off. I’m understanding but I don’t like my time wasted.” </p><p>Jorah smiled at Hilda on that last point but Claude didn’t pay attention to her reaction. </p><p>He was too busy looking over his own work to see any comments or notes for improvement that had been left. He’d noticed it on the one he had been originally given - Jorah was the type of grader who left comments both out of engagement with the material and where they were helpful. Claude’s latest paper had a final note of ‘Glad to hear about your classmates less in this one.’ with a little smile drawn. It was very silly but kinda cute. </p><p>“So I think I’ve gotten a name from everyone except you, so I’m going to take it you’re Marianne?” Jorah had walked over and asked Marianne this. His tone seemed to automatically dip to something softer when he addressed her. When she nodded to him, he gave a nod of his own and moved on, rather than pushing her to speak.</p><p>“Claude, will you stop sitting improperly?” Lorenz called from his seat, glaring at how Claude was still tipping back against the empty desk behind him. <br/>“Are you going to come make me?” Claude asked. Mostly, he was testing just how discipline was going to be handled in this new class environment. </p><p>Lorenz looked at Jorah, who looked back at him, brows raised. “Well? Are you?” Jorah asked, grinning again. “In case you didn’t notice, my relationship with furniture is very relaxed. If he’s not breaking it, I don’t care.” </p><p>“Well what if he’s disturbing other students? It’s improper behavior.” Lorenz shot back.</p><p>“There’s a lot of improper behavior that exists but if how he’s sitting is causing you issues when he’s not leaning on your desk, that sounds like a you problem not a Claude problem. Now if Hilda wants to deal with him because he’s got his legs that close to her, that’s really his risk to take and her decision how to handle. My ask is no serious injuries and no property damage. If she wants to hit him in the kneecaps for this, that’s really on Claude to learn to dodge and Hilda to decide if he’s more valuable to her with or without his ability to walk.”</p><p>“With. I don’t want to have to carry him.” Hilda agreed. “Besides if I really wanted to hit him, I can elbow him in the gut from here way easier.”</p><p>Jorah looked delighted with that response, his face lighting up with amusement, “That is a brilliant observation, Hilda, well done.” </p><p>“Do I get candy for it?” Hilda grinned back.</p><p>Huffing a quiet laugh, Jorah tossed her a piece of chocolate. Claude promptly caught it out of the air and had it unwrapped and in his mouth before she could grab it. </p><p>“CLAUDE!” She turned and really did look ready to hit him in the stomach as promised, which meant he had to quickly move his legs and protect his midsection. </p><p>Jorah pointedly walked over to hand her a candy instead. “I will keep in mind he’s going to do that if I want to give you things in future.” </p><p>“Thank you, Professor.” Hilda sat back and took it, “Ooh I love these. You got nice candies for us. Is this a bribe?~”</p><p>“Maybe.~” Jorah chuckled then walked back to sit on his desk again.</p><p>“So how are you going to assess us or whatever it was?” Leonie demanded. She’d moved to stand, stretching her legs. Leonie usually had to wait till after class to stretch but probably decided if Claude’s casual relationship with furniture was ok, so was her stretching.</p><p>“Well I did write up a general knowledge test, based on the curriculum you’re supposed to be following. But I also intend to just pull each of you aside individually to talk so we can discuss your goals, interests, and needs from an instructor. So the next two days are going to be a little weird still, sorry about that. It’s necessary if I want a proper idea of your progress.” </p><p>Jorah then made a gesture, “Wednesday we’re going out for practical training though. Talking will only do so much, so we’re getting some actual combat in and I will see just how you all are in a real battle situation.” </p><p>Immediately, there was a ripple of interest and concern among the students. Some were excited by this prospect - Lysithea, Raphael, Leonie and Claude himself. Marianne looked terrified, Ignatz nervous, Lorenz conflicted, and Hilda…</p><p>“Ah Professor...I don’t know if Professor Manuela told you, but I’m really useless in combat. I’m really much better at cheering from the sidelines.” Hilda started.</p><p>“Well that’s why you are going with us, Hilda. You aren’t going to improve if you don’t practice.~” </p><p>“I’m really very delicate, I wouldn’t do well at all. And we haven’t done any serious fighting the way the other classes have yet!” Hilda was now very much trying to figure out which of her tricks would best get her out of this situation.</p><p>“Again, why you need to practice. No excuses, Hilda. If I’m making Marianne go - and I am - then I am making you go.” Jorah’s weakness for sisters only went so far, it seemed. “I don’t want there to come a day where someone attacks and you’re left defenseless. Because your enemies will probably not accept ‘oh I'm just here to cheer’ as a reason not to damage that pretty little head of yours.” </p><p>Accepting her defeat as ungracefully as possible, Hilda flopped forward across her desk and let out a loud and whiny sigh. “Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.”</p><p>Marianne looked at her hands, “I will go but I don’t think I will be much help.” </p><p>“That’s what you’re here to learn, Marianne. Just do your best. I will direct and get you practicing so you can learn to contribute to the best of your ability.” </p><p>Jorah’s voice notably softened whenever he spoke to her. Not so much like he was condescending to her, but like he was naturally meeting her energy levels. Claude was starting to think he might do that with all of them, but it was most notable with her. The majority of them were on the loud and boisterous side, so being gentler for Marianne would be the starkest contrast.</p><p>“You said you would give extra credit assignments?” Ignatz was focused at least on trying to do well in the academics portion, probably because he felt he couldn’t do well in the combat but there was no use protesting anymore. </p><p>“I do. Once I know your interests and skills better, we can talk about individualized assignments. I want you guys to flourish. Weird and sappy as that sounds.” Jorah stretched.</p><p>“Good, because we really need it. The Mock Battle was bad and we don’t even get the interesting mission this month, probably because we lost.” Leonie flopped back into her seat with a huff.</p><p>“I will agree there, it was a disgrace.” Lorenz had been horribly disappointed by their results.</p><p>“No objections to improving there. We got trounced.” Claude flopped forward on his arms now, The defeat at the Mock Battle had especially hurt because they’d been taken out first. He had not liked being one of the first knocked out in such a competition and it stung. But he tried to not think of it and just look forward.</p><p>“That bad?” Jorah looked over sympathetically and reached out to ruffle Claude’s hair. “If even you’re bothered, it had to be rough.” </p><p>Claude hid a smile in his folded arms. He did not want to make it obvious to the whole room just how goofily happy some mild physical affection made him. </p><p>“It was pretty embarrassing.” Ignatz agreed.</p><p>“Well we’ll get that in order, soon. I know the Battle of the Eagle and Lion is later in the calendar year and you lot won’t be satisfied if we don’t make a good showing. So I’d best get started.” Jorah headed back to his desk again and made a motion. “Rest of the class is free period, just don’t leave. I’m going to try to get through as many discussions as reasonably possible before you have your break for lunch. Who’s first?”</p><p>“I am!” Lysithea declared, hopping up and heading right up to his desk. </p><p>Claude completely buried his face in his arms. This sounded like a really good time for a Professor sanctioned nap if he ever heard one.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Edelgard has a lot of thoughts and feelings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning for Edelgard's thoughts being a little dark to start out. It softens fast but just leaving a warning!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Edelgard worked extremely hard to keep the perception of her House as one of a cohesive whole and not a scattered group. She wanted her class, and ultimately her nation, to be a united cohesive whole. She had been groomed to rule alone, a leader with subordinates beneath her but never anyone above or at her side as an equal. There was no time for being a child in that, no time for mourning losses or any number of other crushing feelings Edelgard had to bury on the regular. </p><p>It made trying to be a student and live her own life - really, her cover more than truly her life at this point - extremely frustrating. She would have found it overwhelming trying to maintain even the appearance of control over her house, if she were allowed to feel something like that. She once would watch the other Houses with scrutiny and a deeply hidden envy when they actually seemed to have themselves more together than her own. </p><p>Then the rug was swept from under her with a plan gone awry. </p><p>The bandits had been with a chunk of the Knights and the intended new Professor for the school. She had had no true faith in Kostas and his band to actually be able to pose a threat to the majority of the students. They would more likely be able to scare off or injure several enough to keep them from attending, thereby thinning the herds. If it also took out some of Knights or a proper hindrance to Dimitri or Claude, she wasn’t opposed. The main goal had truly been to test, or be rid of the new Professor. With a vacancy, she had hoped they might put Jeritza, her agent, in a better position to work with her. </p><p>She had underestimated the bandits and their threat, a mistake that could have been costly and one she did not take lightly. While she told herself she must be okay with casualties in her quest for the greater good, she didn’t actually want to simply murder other students, or die herself. It had been Claude’s decision to flee and Dimtri’s foolish decision to go with him for aid that had saved them, ultimately. Edelgard had had to go with them, and it had drawn the enemy after them rather than any other students. </p><p>What they had run right into had been an unexpected complication to her plans. They’d managed to actually find help and somehow in doing this, restored a great asset to the Knights and handed one back to the school. And yet…</p><p>Yet Jeralt had intentionally left and seemed to be the most begrudging Captain of the Knights possible. His daughter was even more mysterious - she didn’t seem to know a thing about the Church, the Knights, or the school. It seemed her only affiliation was...because she’d been handed the role and told to teach. It kept Jeritza from taking the position but Edelgard did not necessarily feel that was a bad thing - further consideration had made her feel his whims and attitude would become tiresome in too large of a dose.</p><p>She had learned later that their Professor had had the pick of all three Houses, and had specifically chosen the Black Eagles. It had not merely been an assignment but out of some desire to work with them. Edelgard had spent every moment since then analyzing the contradiction it felt like - a person who was only a teacher with no choice at all, but specifically chose them. Was it merely for their apparent behavior and the appearances Edelgard worked so hard to maintain? But on their first group meeting with her and introduction as Professor...they’d been so wild and she had not seemed bothered by it. Not that she showed a lot of emotion but it was worth considering.</p><p>Today their class had gone outside for their lessons, spending some time in a comfortable clearing near the forest, set up with training dummies and obstacles to practice on. There were always ruffians about with how busy Garreg Mach was with traveling merchants, and there was also plenty of just natural wildlife that might happen upon the group, but that had been commented to be ‘an added bonus lesson’ by Tate when she led them to her setup. </p><p>Edelgard was comfortably seated on the grass, taking a break at the instruction of her Professor. She’d done two laps of the obstacle course in her new armor and taken a good few turns on the dummies, and had intended to take a third lap of the obstacle course when Tate had stopped her. It had been as simple as a hand on her bicep and pointing to the grass with her usual blank look, but it said enough. There was that shine in her eyes that spoke less of disappointment and more something akin to fond concern. </p><p>Tate managed to be more reserved than even Edelgard was, but with time the Black Eagles were learning the minutiae of her expressions and just what they meant. They had to provide each other this information, as the woman herself seemed unaware of the matter but it was a good chance to bond over a safe shared topic among the students. </p><p>“What’re you thinking about, Edie?” Dorothea took a seat gracefully beside her and flopped back with a heavy sigh of breath, resting against her folded arms. </p><p>“I was observing our classmates’ progress.” Edelgard gave the safe answer - being lost in her own head and considerations about their Professor was more likely to lead to teasing about crushes or something of the kind. </p><p>“That obstacle course is brutal. I wonder how long she took to set it up.” Dorothea gave a slight pout, “My legs feel like jelly and I just had to take it at pace once. How did you manage it in heavy armor?”</p><p>“I will have to manage much more than that in full armor and gear in a proper battle.” </p><p>“Perhaps but it’s still heavy to deal with.” Dorothea glanced to her and gave a friendly little smile, “Do you have enough water? I saw the Professor send you to take a break over here.” </p><p>“I have been hydrating, yes.” Edelgard held up her flask of water. “I will probably return to our supplies for more soon. Do you have enough?” </p><p>“Yes, I still have mine. I’m trying to drink it slow so I don’t hurt myself. I don’t think all of our classmates have...quite learned that yet.” Dorothea glanced back at the field.</p><p>Caspar was attempting to chug water and almost spilling it on himself. He had been having the time of his life alternating between the obstacles and the dummies. Dashing between them and going at it with his all, as if there was no stopping him when unleashed like this, it can’t be good for his health.</p><p>“He’s going to hurt himself if he keeps going at that rate.” Edelgard sighed and made to stand. She was going to have to get him to see reason on not wasting his water or choking himself. </p><p>Dorothea’s gentle tug on her sleeve to get her to return to sitting came right as a hand came from another source to stop Caspar’s behavior. It seemed their Professor had also noticed his troubling hydration habits, but her method of stopping him wasn’t a lecture. She’d simply put out a hand to grasp his wrist and lowered the water without looking at him.</p><p>“Breathe. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Sip.” She stated plainly and eased her grasp on his wrist to let him take a bit more, then lowered the wrist again.</p><p>“Okay, okay, sheesh.” Caspar panted, and slowed down. </p><p>Taking her hand from his wrist, Tate pat Caspar’s hair gently.</p><p>“It always amazes me seeing her be physical with anyone. She seems so unfamiliar with it outside of combat.” Dorothea observed.</p><p>Edelgard nodded quietly, taking another sip of her water. It was like learning to watch her building variety of facial expressions - it seemed almost as if those were being learned, same as the new shows of affection. But the efforts all pointed to the same thing that having chosen their class did - for whatever reason, their Professor had wanted to work with them.</p><p>“You’re giving her that dreamy-eyed stare again, Edie. You can’t tell me you’re just thinking about our progress. You usually look more serious when you’re doing that.” Dorothea’s teasing was said with an almost purr to her tone that had to have been learned during her time in the opera.</p><p>“I do not give her dreamy-eyed anythings.” Edelgard protested, though not very fiercely. Dorothea was generally gentler when you didn’t give her more ammo, and it was nice to open up about some of it. “I was pondering why our Professor selected our class.” </p><p>From across the way, they could see Caspar had made some sort of pouty comment - probably about his water drinking - in the vicinity of Ferdinand. The topic was only clear because of the fact they could both hear and see Ferdinand beginning a tangent about letting a horse drink too much as well and how it would get them sick. This was probably not accomplishing what Caspar had intended with his comment, but it was extremely funny. Ferdinand gesturing at and doting on horses was always somewhat amusing, but it was extra so today because Hubert was standing three feet from the horse looking at it with suspicion.</p><p>“I’m surprised you haven’t asked her about it.” Dorothea leaned on her hand. “I know you’ve had tea with her a few times while she had Hubie busy in the stables.” </p><p>“We have but it’s been mostly a chance to relax and de-stress. I save picking her brain for after when Hubert rejoins us.” Edelgard gave a small smile. It was one of the few times she truly felt like she was free to just be a young girl and a student, not someone with the destiny of the whole world on her shoulders. A little time with someone who liked her company and enjoyed it enough to do things like make treats to please her.</p><p>“I’m sure he wouldn’t want to miss the information.” Dorothea agreed with a wry smile. She looked over in the direction of the horse-based activities. “Hubie is usually pretty good at looking implacable but he seems so scared of dealing with the horses.”</p><p>“I believe he has had trouble with them since he was a boy. I doubt he’d ever admit to any fear of them, especially in front of Ferdinand.” Edelgard tried not to cringe looking at her friend and not-actual-rival having a tiff about, presumably, some insult to the horse’s honor. </p><p>“Ferdinand von Aegir.” Their professor’s voice cut through again, sharp from across the field where she was beneath a tree. “Take a lap with Caspar.” </p><p>Ferdinand, doing a fantastic impression of looking as startled as his horse, stared at her. “Yes Professor. Did I do something to displease you?” </p><p>Tate, who had been giving Linhardt a boost up the tree, given the boot on her hand, turned to stare at him. “No?”</p><p>“Then why did you?”</p><p>Dorothea and Edelgard had to turn away to not laugh openly. Oh no. He looked so pitiful about displeasing their Professor and she looked so confused. </p><p>Soon as she’d composed herself, Dorothea helpfully called over, “You called his full name, Professor.” </p><p>“Did I?” She stood, mouthing a few times before it seemed the truth hit her what she was doing and just said more loudly. “Ferdie, please just take a lap. I am not upset with you.” </p><p>“Oh...that’s good.” Ferdinand brightened once more. </p><p>“I don’t see why not. He is being a horse’s ass about his…” Hubert grumbled loudly, glaring at Ferdinand. </p><p>“I am not upset with either of you.” Tate clarified and walked over towards Hubert. </p><p>“I’m not helping him get on her back whether or not he apologizes.” Ferdinand shot back and then went quiet to go take the obstacle course again with Caspar, who was racing at it eagerly. </p><p>Edelgard covered her mouth to hide the smile that wouldn’t leave. “I wonder how one just accidentally says a person’s full name.” </p><p>“Well when they frequently are chanting to themself pompously or starting sentences with ‘I am Ferdinand von Aegir’ how can one not remember the whole thing in its entirety?~” Dorothea did a quiet little impression of Ferdie’s voice that had Edelgard having to hide in her arms to muffle giggles.</p><p>“Dorothea, stop,” Edelgard tried to settle herself three times, and on each saw the face Dorothea was making and started to laugh again. </p><p>“What is bringing the laughter?” Petra had just approached the two from the tree line. She was looking fresh still and her eyes sparked with bright excitement. </p><p>“Dorothea was making faces after telling a joke.” Edelgard tried to explain, finally settling herself.</p><p>“But why would one be laughing at Dorothea’s face? That is not being very nice. Dorothea, your face is being quite nice.” Petra tilted her head and knit her brows at them.</p><p>“No, no, Petra. I was making expressions to make her laugh. We were just having fun.” Dorothea got up to brush some leaves out of Petra’s hair. “But I’m glad you think my face is quite nice.~ Where have you been?”</p><p>“There is being a second course, through the trees.” Petra observed proudly. “I have just been finishing it. I will be getting water and going again. The Professor said I must be resting if I want to do a third, but I am being allowed to sit up there with Linhardt.” </p><p>“I saw her helping Linhardt climb...is he really doing an obstacle course up there?” Edelgard found that hard to believe. She couldn’t even imagine him doing the one on the ground. </p><p>Petra nodded, “The Professor said he is being in hiding practice. He is being allowed to rest, and I am to be waking him when I pass on each stage to be making him progress. If Linhardt moves on to the next section, he is being allowed to rest again.” </p><p>“She’s encouraging him by letting him take naps!” Dorothea laughed fondly, a beautiful and musical sound that rang across the field. </p><p>“What does Hubert do with the horse there?” Petra asked, her attention quickly drawn away from where it had been on Dorothea’s face. </p><p>Edelgard turned again and found herself sighing, “Oh Hubert…” </p><p>Her dear friend was attempting to mount the horse, but where he was masterfully coordinated casting or moving on the ground, apparently trying to get one of his long legs over the back of the horse while lifting himself on a stirrup was proving horribly ineffective. He was trying very hard not to lose composure but Edelgard knew his face and the signs of frustration from a distance. </p><p>She also recognized what was happening when he tensed right as a hand grasped the back of his uniform and hefted him onto the back of the horse. Hubert looked flustered and frustrated but soon as he was across the back of it, he righted himself and found proper posture in moments. He would never show just how embarrassed he’d been by what was going on, but Tate quietly saving him from floundering and moving on was better than nothing.</p><p>“He’s still learning to ride, Petra. We will just pretend we didn’t see that.” Dorothea put a finger to Petra’s lips, who looked quite like she had been about to cheer for his success.</p><p>“Oh. I am understanding.” Petra’s voice was quieter now and she nodded. </p><p>“He will appreciate you understanding. This is hard enough for him as it is.” Edelgard kept her eyes on Hubert as he worked on guiding the horse along the course. His posture while riding and his skills commanding the horse were improving a great deal. He might be uncomfortable with the animals still but he was clearly trying to actually learn as he was taught.</p><p>At last, Edelgard felt satisfied with his progress and decided it was time to get back to work herself. “I don’t want to try to compete with Hubert on a horse in the obstacle course. Can you show me that tree course?” she stood, turning to Petra. “I will try it once without armor before trying again. It will be a good test of skills.</p><p>“Yes, I will be showing you.” Petra nodded and motioned for Dorothea and Edelgard to follow her back to the start of it. </p><p>Eventually, the majority of the group had finished their training rounds and gathering to head back to the Academy. Edelgard was just coming down from her last armored trip through the tree course, and glancing over her classmates to assess their progress in packing up.</p><p>Hubert was now walking awkwardly but doing his best to not show it. Ferdinand was leading the horse and still looking rather energetic and cheerful, but that might have been to ease Bernadetta, who was riding the horse and getting in some practice under supervision for the trip back. Edelgard suspected that decision was also because poor Bernadetta had dashed her way through the tree obstacle course twice after being terrified by something on a round.</p><p>Petra was walking slower and more quietly but looked thrilled like she’d had a wonderful day. She was walking with an arm around Dorothea and they were helping support each other. Dorothea smiled over to Edelgard, motioning for her to come join them. </p><p>“You still all armored up, Edie? I’m glad you took the course slow. I was a little afraid the branches wouldn’t take.” Dorothea admitted.</p><p>“I was only ever allowed on selected ones in armor. It was a good test of my ability to take my time and judge my footing. I couldn’t have sped along some of the higher levels like Petra.” Edelgard admitted, “I will put my armor away when we’re back. It’s easier than just carrying it, when I already have it all on.”</p><p>“We were to be working hard on our problem solving. I am feeling very pleased with us!” Petra stated, voice weaker than usual but enthusiasm shining through all of her.</p><p>“I agree - say, did anyone wake up Linhardt? I last saw him when were climbing down.” Dorothea looked away from them back towards the trees.</p><p>“I was trying to be waking him for our return, but could not.” Petra admitted. “I was reporting my lack of success to the Professor.” </p><p>“Then I am sure Linhardt will be fine.” Dorothea smiled again, returning her gaze to the rest of the group. “We did very well today.” </p><p>“I agree. Everyone worked hard.” Edelgard did another mental count. “Where’s Caspar?” </p><p>Looking back over the course, she saw distantly the boy happily engaged in a brawl with the various dummies that he had all to himself now. He had probably lost focus on anything but his own training and game of it. Going back to get him would be exhausting but knowing their Professor, he probably wouldn’t be left behind. Her eyes moved over the area to find their wayward teacher next.</p><p>Dorothea nudged Edelgard’s arm and pointed to the edge of the trees. Tate’s form was slightly less recognizable right now...because she had a fast asleep Linhardt draped across her shoulders. She still moved with ease as if this was no trouble and headed right for Caspar. </p><p>“How is she going to get him to stop fighting and come in for a break if he hasn’t decided he’s tired yet, I wonder?” Edelgard asked, mostly to herself.</p><p>“He tends to tire himself out before he realizes he’s tired. I hope she doesn’t intend to try carrying both of them home.” Dorothea agreed.</p><p>“A lecture won’t break him from that focus, though.” Edelgard peered that way, “Yet, she did successfully stop him over-hydrating earlier just with a touch. She may succeed again.” </p><p>They watched and indeed, a touch seemed to be the way of it. Without a word, Tate reached forward and put her hand on the back of Caspar’s uniform, lifting him up and moving him bodily away from the targets, turning and facing their intended direction before putting him down. He flailed wildly at first then seemed to catch what was happening, and laughed then rushed forward to join the group as soon as he was released. </p><p>“Funny…” Edelgard wondered why she found that motion so familiar. It was certainly effective on Caspar but just why she didn’t know. She’d never seen a person so securely grip and move him that way, and especially not in such a situation. It had been quick, efficient and had worked, yet it struck as strange. </p><p>“Yeah. It reminds me of something but I don’t know what.” Dorothea agreed then shook her head. “Come on, Edie. We should get back. Petra’s starting to doze off.” </p><p>“I am being sorry, Dorothea.” Petra shook her own head and stood straighter, and Edelgard smiled watching them.</p><p>“Let’s all get back. We ate well during breaks but many of us should probably have a bit more then clean up.” Edelgard instructed. </p><p>By the time they were back, the majority peeled out of gear and put it away, washed up and had a light dinner together in the almost deserted Dining Hall. Edelgard had found herself taking a circuitous room from the Hall back towards her room, and at first wasn’t sure why. Most of her classmates would have the further distance to travel to reach their rooms, whereas she just had to head down the back stairs and up to the second floor of the dorms to reach her own. </p><p>It wasn’t until she found herself leaning on a wall outside of the classrooms, looking towards the Training Hall, that Edelgard realized where she was heading. It certainly wasn’t for more training, not with how exhausted her limbs felt. No, she quickly realized that her Professor would likely be returning to her room by now after dropping off her various students, and Tate’s room was the one all the way on the far end closer towards the Training Hall.</p><p>Edelgard stayed quietly against the wall and watched as she saw the familiar head of dark teal hair heading that way. Tate never seemed to slow down between her various tasks, always wandering the grounds for this or that errand. She was carrying an armload of weaponry with her, likely replacements for any that had broken during their training sessions today. That was one of the fascinating things about her, she was almost obsessive with keeping them in gear - but that was likely a remnant from her time as a mercenary. </p><p>While she watched this, Edelgard spotted one of the Monastery cats fooling around and getting in the way of the door to the Training Hall. She approached to help Tate with the door and so was near enough to hear her reaction to it.</p><p>“Oh, little baby, you are in the way.” The inflection was soft and very new, but so gentle and light. Edelgard watched as Tate shifted the weapons in her arms and crouched down by the cat. It was here that she got an explanation for something she’d seen before.</p><p>In a quick and simple motion, she picked up the cat by the fur at the back of its neck, and moved it aside and off she was into the Hall to put the weapons away. The cat was out of the way and didn’t seem too put off by it, just settling back into its grooming as if it hadn’t just been moved. But the motion, the confidence and comfort of it struck Edelgard and it suddenly made sense.</p><p>“You scruffed Caspar like a kitten.” Edelgard said when her Professor reappeared from the Hall. She was unsure if she was more baffled or impressed by this realization.</p><p>“Is he not like a kitten?” Tate didn’t express any surprise over her presence, merely stood, but the line of her brows seemed to soften as her eyelids lowered a fraction and her jaw seemed less set. Just a tiny bit of a shift, but it meant so much about how much she relaxed when talking to her student.</p><p>Edelgard was too tired to try muffling the quiet laugh that bubbled up in her chest. Somehow, this seemed to fit. “My teacher, you always find ways to surprise me.”</p><p>Tate glanced away some, and Edelgard was almost sure she saw her Professor’s cheeks color, the edge of her mouth twitching like it wanted to form a smile. Only a moment but enough, and a prize itself to have gotten.</p><p>“Come now, it is late. I will walk you back to your room.” She returned her gaze to Edelgard and offered her an arm. “You were training for hours, in and out of armor. You will be tired.”</p><p>“I thank you.” Edelgard moved to step closer and her legs protested and started to lock up, particularly as she remembered that not only would she have to walk back to get to her dorm, she had multiple stairs to take to get there.</p><p>Tate’s eyes flashed and in an instant, she was reaching out again. As she had with the others, it seemed acting and taking care of them was more natural to her than general affection or actions. But it was such a contrast too - for unlike helping heave Hubert on a horse or lugging Linhardt around while he slept, her entire posture with Edelgard was different. </p><p>With one arm, she brought Edelgard closer to her chest, and the other swept under Edelgard’s aching legs to lift her up in a proper Princess Carry. Edelgard found herself blushing just a bit, but tiredness quickly overpowered surprise. She glanced about and the area did seem mostly deserted still. </p><p>Daring to rest her head on Tate’s shoulder, she gave a small smile of her own, “I believe I can allow such a dramatic escort to bed just this once.” </p><p>“I did warn you not to try to climb trees in heavy armor.” Tate observed, but there was none of that cold or distant disappointment in her eyes. No, this was the one expression Edelgard told none of her classmates about - the quiet and warm fondness that only seemed to occur when they were having their teatimes or things like that.</p><p>“I always push my limits.” Edelgard smiled again, a small but content one. </p><p>As they walked back towards the stairs up to the second floor, she ignored that it was rather slow going. Tate was probably rather tired herself and carrying a student, but part of Edelgard wanted to continue their ‘walk’ together and thought her teacher might too. It was just one of those nice little times they got together, where they could just be them and nothing else. </p><p>Idly, Edelgard asked the other thought that had been on her mind earlier. “Professor, why did you choose our House?”</p><p>Tate raised her eyebrows slightly, “You asked me to.” </p><p>Edelgard puzzled before huffing a little in amusement, catching it was a joke. No, she hadn’t asked her to. She had wanted her services for the Empire, but she had not specifically asked her to be their Professor.</p><p>“I couldn’t have asked you, I didn’t know you were given a choice.” </p><p>“You would have.” Tate’s lips twitched in an almost smile.</p><p>“My teacher, you tease me.” Edelgard lightly pushed at the armored shirt her Professor was wearing, just a little payback for teasing her. She didn’t mind it, but it was important to push back just the same.</p><p>“I do, but can you say you would not have?” </p><p>Here, Edelgard glanced away again, but not out of shame or fear. She was thoughtful and looking out for any stumbling points as she considered. They both knew the answer to that question, really.</p><p>“I admit, I would have made every effort to convince you if I had known that was within my power. As would my fellow House Leaders.” </p><p>“Of course. But one had no chance of my selection and one had less chance.” Tate admitted. Her voice was low, but looking back at her, Edelgard saw no teasing or dishonesty in her face. </p><p>“Oh? Which would you have not chosen?” She was very curious about that.</p><p>“I would not have picked the Golden Deer.” </p><p>“Claude would be disappointed to hear that.” </p><p>“Then you should not tell him I said that.” The teasing sparkle returned to her eyes then. </p><p>“I have no reason to. But you are correct.” Edelgard smiled, “What made you decide against them? I doubt it was a dislike of him.”</p><p>“No. It was...they were too much.” Tate paused in her step and here her eyes looked down and away, rather than meeting Edelgard’s. It was something she was probably a little ashamed about.</p><p>Edelgard smoothed the portion of her Professor’s armor she’d mussed earlier. “Professor...I highly doubt any students would be too much for you. You’re extremely capable.”</p><p>“They were overwhelming. Too chatty, too loud, too much for me.” Tate shook her head. “I did not like the way they spoke to me or how some greeted me. They are not bad students, but I do not think I would suit them.”</p><p>“So it was between myself and Dimitri.” Edelgard shifted the subject to ease her teacher. She had never before seen or heard Tate truly admit to being overwhelmed by something, but it made sense. There was a reason she seemed to do well with students like Bernadetta - there was some kind of kinship there.</p><p>“No. I already liked you best. It was the rest of the Houses to decide.” Tate shook her head but her eyes were sparkling again. As bright as stars in the oceanic depths.</p><p>“I am glad I made such an impression. I guess I shall have to thank the others for being on their best behavior. I’m sure you’d have reconsidered if they hadn’t been well behaved when you met them.” Edelgard could think of a thousand things to go wrong there - Hubert threatening her, Bernadetta’s reactions, Caspar wanting to fight or something. </p><p>“Bernadetta shrieked and Linhardt immediately dismissed me.” Tate offered in her version of playfully.</p><p>“And you still chose us? What did the Blue Lions do to offend you so?” Edelgard knew they can’t have so much offended her but it was part of the ‘game’ of sorts.</p><p>“They were not the Black Eagles.” Tate offered and that fraction of a smile returned again. “I liked the Black Eagles best. Even if I thought they should be red.”</p><p>“I hear that one a lot.” Edelgard rested her head on Tate’s shoulder as they continued once more.</p><p>When they reached the door to the dorms, she had to lean forward to open it so Tate could carry her inside. She had almost offered to part here, but her Professor had no intention of that and her legs did so not want to take these stairs.</p><p>“So there was some kind of potential you saw in us then?” </p><p>“You all have potential. I merely liked you all a lot. It felt…” Tate paused, and looked up, amazingly able to climb stairs carrying someone and not look where she was going with ease. She did climb these stairs a lot though. </p><p>It took until she was setting Edelgard down at her door for Tate to finish the thought properly. “It felt more like home. I was happiest with you all.” </p><p>Here, Edelgard felt a proper smile blossom, one that felt so free. She reached out a moment to touch Tate’s hand, retreating from having been holding her. “Thank you.” </p><p>“Of course. Rest well, Edelgard.” Tate still didn’t really smile but she took Edelgard’s hand and squeezed it briefly before letting it go and heading back towards the stairs. </p><p>Edelgard quickly entered her own room to sleep, hoping Hubert had been tired enough from riding and all the practice to not want to talk tonight. She just wanted to try to get a good rest while she was in high spirits and low energy.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Dimitri, when did you get in this fic?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm so sorry, I struggle with Dedue so he is going to barely appear. Dimitri is hard enough for me. But I love them!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Professor, I hope you aren’t scouting to poach from our class.” Dimitri looked over to where he had just spotted Jorah seated on a low wall nearby, watching his training. Normally, he might have been afraid to make such a brazen attempt at a joke with a teacher, but something about the twins tended to make him feel more at ease.</p><p>Jorah huffed a soft laugh, “Dimitri, while I would love to adopt all of the Blue Lions into my class, I’m sure Hanneman would be greatly offended with me if I did. As would my dear sister - she would be deeply disappointed in not getting any of you.” </p><p>“She seems quite content with her class as it is.” Dimitri gave a shy smile, looking back at his training target. </p><p>He had been disappointed that the Blue Lions weren’t selected when he’d learned that the Professor had had choice of all three Houses. Somehow, Dimitri was sure that Claude had probably known and Edelgard had been eagerly angling for it. He had hoped they might get the opportunity to train under such a strong professor, but it was not to be.</p><p>Her brother's arrival was unexpected but as Dimitri understood it, the position was posted specifically for Manuela’s class, so any chance of him taking over the Blue Lions was never in the picture. Jorah was a different sort of person and Dimitri had yet to see him fight so didn’t quite know what to make of him as a teacher. </p><p>Yet he was finding, both Professors seemed perfectly willing to just...incorporate the Blue Lions into whatever they happened to be doing. Tate seemed to engage in a lot of kitchen exploits that kept seeming to involve Mercedes, Annette, Ashe or Dedue - the last of which Dimitri especially appreciated, because anyone including Dedue in activities was to be admired. As for Jorah, it seemed he had a tendency to leave his classroom open late for extra tutoring even for other students, and Annette and Ashe were frequently visiting that. He had considered going a time or two himself but felt embarrassed.</p><p>“If we were really going to steal students from that class, would you really admit it anyway?” Claude’s voice came from the same wall and Dimitri glanced over in time to see the Golden Deer House Leader flopping forward so he was leaning his torso across his Professor’s lap and lounging against him and the wall. </p><p>“Of course I would. I can’t steal Dimitri if I don’t tell him about it. It’s not sporting that way.” Jorah didn’t actually do much to acknowledge Claude’s sudden commandeering of his personal space, merely rested the notebook he’d been writing in against Claude’s shoulder. </p><p>“You’re looking to replace me already? Teach, I’m hurt.” Claude managing to be both a book-rest and act dramatically hurt at their conversation was a testament to his flair for the dramatics.</p><p>“I think of it more as hedging my bets. What’s more likely to win in a mock battle, one house leader or two? Right Dimitri?” Jorah looked over his way again with a cheeky grin. </p><p>Having the conversation turned on him again, Dimitri felt rather wrong-footed and lost. Still, he did his best to try to respond seriously, as part of the ‘game’ as he understood it. This was made much much harder when Claude turned an exaggerated pout his way. </p><p>“Y-yes, of course, Professor.” Dimitri had to cover his mouth now. He ached to laugh this freely and easily more often. Was this what it felt like to be normal?</p><p>“See? My wicked plan to defeat my sister is underway already.” Jorah idly reached down and ruffled Claude’s hair.</p><p>Dimitri witnessed, with amazement, as the usually coy Claude had to suddenly hide in his own folded arms from embarrassment. He wondered, briefly, if he dared continue trying to play with them. There was something intriguing and nice about freely given affection like this. It seemed so casual. </p><p>“Is the personal space invasion a hazard or a bonus of joining the Golden Deer?” he tried, voice sounding less shaky than he felt at least. He hoped his attempt at humor didn’t sound as pathetically lonely as it sounded in his head.</p><p>“Personal space invasion is a Claude-only benefit, I’m afraid. Mostly because he’s already in my space and there’s only so much room. But headpats and hugs are always on the table.” Jorah suggested.</p><p>“I’m sure if His Highness were desperate enough, he could muscle me out, but I’m very crafty about keeping my comfy spaces and no one should make an enemy of me over them.” Claude stuck his tongue out at Dimitri and then grinned. It seemed like he could tell that Dimitri was very unfamiliar with trying to joke with others.</p><p>Headpats and hugs did sound very nice, but Dimitri didn’t dare voice that so just stepped nearer to see what Jorah had been writing. He wasn’t going to be able to refocus on any combat practice just yet anyway. </p><p>“What is it you’re working on, Professor?” </p><p>“Alternative assignments for students.” Jorah tilted the notebook to show Dimitri the list of items. They were all in a simple, neat shorthand but seemed to consist of things like ‘historical analysis of poetry’ and ‘anatomical studies’. </p><p>“Have you come up with something to get Hilda to work yet?” Claude asked, apparently aware of whatever plan this was.</p><p>“I have a few notes. You can help me scheme for that later. I’m working on plans for Ignatz right now.” Jorah shrugged, writing down another item on his list. </p><p>“All of these are just for one student?” Dimitri blinked. That was surprising. Were so many alternative assignments needed?</p><p>“Not everyone is as skilled in combat as yourselves, so sometimes students need a little extra push in lessons to benefit.” Jorah shrugged. </p><p>“Can you believe we’ve yet to see him fight?” Claude looked to Dimitri in some attempted bid for either sympathy or more playing around. “He’s had us doing practical drills and all of that, but he’s yet to get in on combat himself. Won’t even tell me what weapon he prefers.” </p><p>“Not even what weapon you favor?” Dimitri’s brows raised. “Professor, I’m surprised.”</p><p>“Mouthy thing you are.” Jorah flicked Claude’s braid, but didn’t actually seem bothered. “If you’re both so eager to see me fight, I’ll spar with you right now.” </p><p>“Really?” Dimitri perked up then immediately felt embarrassed about it, blush coating his cheeks. At least he wasn’t alone, because Claude looked as eager for the possibility. </p><p>Sadly, neither were able to be indulged. It was right then that Tate entered the Training Hall looking for her brother. </p><p>“I am borrowing your beef.” She looked completely blank faced and calm as she said this, as if it weren’t an absurd sentence. </p><p>“Bring him back safe.” Jorah didn’t skip a beat responding, and that’s when it became clear they were probably referring affectionately to Raphael, not to some meat product he possessed. “What are you doing with him?”</p><p>“Some of my students want to try the Advanced Obstacle Course I am setting up.” </p><p>Dimitri perked up at this as well. Her class was getting to do obstacles?</p><p>“Oooh, is this an upgrade on the last one you did? I enjoyed the tree course.” Claude turned around, so instead of half laying over Jorah’s lap, he had his elbows bent and resting on Jorah’s thighs, leaving him more leaning on the wall than half laying on it. </p><p>“They had a previous course?” Dimitri felt a little put out now. The Blue Lions certainly hadn’t gotten whatever obstacle course this was. </p><p>Jorah and his sister exchanged a look - which seemed more like him giving a look and her not reacting at all. </p><p>“I don’t think Hanneman is quite a...obstacle course training day sort of Professor, Taters.” </p><p>“Ah…” </p><p>Now her gaze turned to Dimitri and she nodded, “Come with us then. You may test the new course with my students.” </p><p>“You can go too.” Jorah told Claude before his student had even finished opening his mouth. </p><p>“Thanks, Teach.~” </p><p>“In the meantime, I’ll discuss with Hanneman if we can borrow his class for a proper day of it. I’m sure I can spin this as something for school spirit and class bonding.” Jorah reached over and pat Dimitri’s head, “You guys will get to be exhausted and stumbling back like our classes.” </p><p>For a moment, Dimitri froze, just processing the contact and the situation itself. It seemed it really was true that the siblings would go out of their way for all three Houses, whether their own or not. That was...not usual for Garreg Mach. But neither were they. That...was not so bad, was it?</p><p>“If you assist me, I could map out courses for specific skillsets.” Tate suggested, either not noticing or politely ignoring Dimitri’s brief break from reality. </p><p>Jorah hopped up from his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. “That could be good. The Training Hall is quite extensive already but I think more collaborative study and competition outside of the inter-house tournaments and mock battles would be suitable.” </p><p>Claude draped himself casually over Jorah’s shoulders. “I wouldn’t mind a chance to actually work with other archers for a bit.”</p><p>“You need to work on your close combat tactics.” Jorah didn’t even seem to acknowledge the weight on him, same as before. </p><p>“I’m learning close counters already.~” Despite acting like he was trying to convince his Professor, this seemed more like a settled thing between them. Dimitri really wasn’t sure he could understand how that worked.</p><p>“Impossible. How do I work with this boy?” Jorah looked at Dimitri and Tate.</p><p>“You could always stop letting him lean on you that way?” Dimitri attempted, not quite sure how to engage with...whatever humor those two had. It wasn’t a friendship he knew how to deal with.</p><p>“Then he’d just go lean on Hilda and complain about what a cruel Professor I am.” </p><p>“Truly a cruel fate. You are very put-upon.” Tate’s lack of expression or emotion in her tone seemed to be intentional this time. She turned away from them to direct her focus entirely on Dimitri. “Do you think I should invite Dedue with us?” </p><p>Taking after her example, Dimitri ignored them - which was easier with the new topic - and nodded enthusiastically to the question. “If it would not inconvenience you any, Professor.” </p><p>Dedue did not put himself forward for any such special offerings at the Academy unless either pressed to do so by Dimitri himself, or it was specifically suggested for his study by their Professor. While he did seem to be participating in chores or tasks with other students slightly more, he was still very hesitant with them. Any opportunities to help his friend feel like a valued part of their school community were valuable to Dimitri.</p><p>“Not at all. I want to put the Heavy Armor levels through their paces especially.” Tate turned to walk towards the door, motioning for them to join her.</p><p>“Oh good,” Dimitri gave a sigh of relief, “That may make it easier for him to justify joining us. I can fetch him for you if that would suit?” He barely waited for her nod to start moving.</p><p>“Meet us at the front gates.” Tate called after him then left the Training Hall, probably in pursuit of other students.</p><p>Quickly, he went to put away his training weapon and darted off to get both his gear and invite Dedue. </p><p>Dimitri was lucky to run into Dedue - not literally, thankfully - on his way back towards his room. From the way he was wiping his hands, Dedue had probably been working in the Greenhouse again today and enjoying his time with the plants. For a moment, Dimitri almost hesitated about inviting him - would Dedue be tired? But then..he would be able to decline the invitation if he were! There was no reason not to see if he would LIKE to come with them. And it was always good to ensure he was invited at all!</p><p>“Dedue, I am glad I was able to find you. We have been invited to join Professor Eisner with some students to test a new training course she has put together. Would you wish to join us?” Was it possible to sound casual while full of breathless excitement and nerves over inviting someone on an activity? “Of course...if you are tired, there is no obligation! But I had thought you would like to join in on this and it is a very good chance for us to train with our fellow students.”</p><p>Dedue was silent, brows knit in serious consideration. At last he nodded. </p><p>“I appreciate the opportunity, Your Highness. I would enjoy getting to accompany you.” </p><p>It was hard for him to admit he liked things sometimes, so Dimitri was thrilled to hear Dedue admit he might enjoy anything. It kept him in high spirits all through gathering his gear. Dedue had almost backtracked to join him, though his own room was nearer, but Dimitri managed to convince him to just meet at the stairs instead. He did not wish to push his friend into unnecessary labors just to accompany him somewhere, no matter how he enjoyed Dedue’s company.</p><p>It didn’t take long for the pair to head to the main gates to meet with the small assembly of students for this trip. It seemed they had two from each class - Edelgard and Caspar of the Black Eagles, Claude and Raphael of the Golden Deer and now himself and Dedue of the Blue Lions. A good arrangement for testing! The only one likely not going that still remained with this group was Jorah.</p><p>He was standing among the group, with Claude’s arm draped around him again as he discussed some lesson plans with his sister. Claude himself seemed to be cheerily adding his own input now and then or tossing playful insults back and forth with Edelgard. It made Dimitri feel excited to get to go on any sort of training with his fellow House Leaders - he felt like they only got together to compete. It would do them all good to have better ties of friendship before their inevitable political roles in the future, where they would be dealing with each other much more seriously. </p><p>Dimitri felt Dedue pause in his step and slowed himself as well. “Dedue? What is it?” If his friend noticed something, it was usually worthy of attention.</p><p>“I thought...perhaps I am mistaken. I believe I saw Seteth at the window.” Dedue observed, tilting his head. His gaze turned back to the group and then returned to the window. “Perhaps it was my imagination.”</p><p>Unlikely, Dimitri thought. Dedue was far too steady for that. If he said he thought he saw Seteth, he was most likely positive he had, but unsure of the meaning of it. Dismissing his own observations where he felt he didn’t have valid input about them or should not voice them was a bad habit of Dedue’s that Dimitri had no idea how to discourage. </p><p>“He likely is just making sure that such a gathering of students is being chaperoned properly.” Dimitri suggested. After all, there was nothing untoward happening, and no rules being broken, so what had they to fear from Seteth? </p><p>Joining the others, Dimitri was pleased to see Edelgard show some interest in their presence. He liked to think she still had some kind feelings towards him, after their childhood meetings, but it was very hard to tell with her overall demeanor towards him, so frequently full of challenge and bravado. Even now, she quickly hid any spark of interest in their company by turning to quickly shoot back some jab at Claude. </p><p>“Will you be able to join us without hanging all over your Professor for more than a minute? Or do you actually have some idea of proper behavior?" Edelgard was giving him a dirty look. </p><p>“I don’t know. Will you be getting carried back to the dorms, Princess?” Claude asked, raising his brows.</p><p>The way Edelgard narrowed her eyes at him, Dimitri wondered if that was a genuine reference to something. Subtly, he glanced at Dedue. Out of the corner of his eye, Dimitri had noticed his friend’s face shift, just a little - he was like Tate that way, only the most subtle of reactions and one had to be trained to see them, but they were there. Here, Dimitri could see what words alone wouldn't tell him - Claude was referencing something alright, and something Dedue knew of. </p><p>For her part, Tate looked from Claude to her brother in a look Dimitri couldn’t read, but clearly Jorah could. </p><p>“Claude, if you’re angling for me to carry you back from a mission, you will have to compete with Hilda for that honor. She would be very displeased if she had to walk back and you didn’t.” Jorah shifted to look at Claude, his eyes narrowing in a way that seemed to say something very different from his lax words. </p><p>Claude blushed but snorted and looked away, failing at hiding it by scrubbing at his cheek. “Alright, message received. I’ll mind my own business.” </p><p>“Good. You’re representing the Golden Deer today, make me proud.” Jorah pat his arm and reached over to elbow Raphael lightly. “Both of you. And have a good time, of course, but I doubt that’s something I have to remind you of.”</p><p>Raphael grinned widely, “Yeah! Caspar and I are gonna race! We need to work our muscles!”</p><p>“Yeah!” Caspar leaped up to pump his fist in the air. </p><p>“Professor Eisner, a word if you would?” Seteth’s voice rang out clear from further up the stairs. Dimitri tensed at the sound. He’d known Seteth was near because Dedue had seen him, but he hadn’t actually expected him to want to speak to them.</p><p>Both twins looked up towards Seteth at being asked, their expressions a mirror in that moment. It made the similarities and differences in their appearances starker. Tate was shorter, with her long dark hair and dark armor. Jorah was taller but dressed in light colors, had lighter hair, and his brows tended to move a lot more than hers did when he was noticing anything. </p><p>“Jorah, if you are not accompanying your sister’s group out, I would like a word.” Seteth specified. </p><p>“Certainly, Seteth. I was just heading inside anyway. I need to speak with Professor Hanneman about some class plans.” Jorah carefully extricated himself from Claude, who stood up properly. “Behave yourselves.” He called back to the group, waving as he headed for the stairs. </p><p>Claude huffed a little laugh and put his arms behind his head, returning his full attention to Tate. Dimitri had to focus as well, as the gathered group would now be heading out. </p><p>On the journey towards the obstacle course, Dimitri found himself walking beside Claude. “I see you have been taking well to your new Professor.” He offered. </p><p>Claude glanced at him, seemingly sizing up if it was a genuine observation or not. Ultimately, he shrugged, "Yeah, you could say that." </p><p>"He certainly let's you get away with a lot." Dimitri offered, hoping to nudge him back to the friendly mood from the Training Hall but unsure how.</p><p>"I don't think it's so much 'getting away with' as he doesn't get bothered by things that don't matter, and he's serious where it counts." </p><p>"Is hanging off of him something that doesn't matter?" Edelgard had slowed her pace to join them. Her tone was a little less prickly than earlier, but Dimitri couldn't be sure of her intent. She'd been quietly talking to her Professor since they'd left.</p><p>"It's not as big a deal as you make it seem." Claude narrowed his eyes a moment then his expression eased into a familiar smile that always felt a little hard to truly trust.</p><p>"I…" Edelgard started then took a breath to speak again, "I apologize for my words earlier. I understand I was becoming needlessly antagonistic and defensive."</p><p>"Apology accepted, Princess." Claude's smile didn't become more real but he stopped looking at them so carefully and went back to just walking along. "I may even be a little sorry for any hints about seeing you get carried back upstairs. Not my place to judge or my business."</p><p>Edelgard seemed satisfied with this and Dimitri felt the tension in the air had eased greatly. "I'm looking forward to seeing this course." </p><p>"As am I. Our Professor took a great deal of time in her off hours to make it." Edelgard was all but beaming. </p><p>Dimitri refrained from commenting, but he was starting to think that she was certainly as happy with the Black Eagles situation as Claude was with the Golden Deer's. He had already thought she was satisfied from seeing their victory in the Mock Battle and her House's continued favor in missions, but perhaps it was more personal than that as well. </p><p>To genuinely have such a trusting bond with a mentor and friend was really irreplaceable. It gave him a small jealous pang to think of.</p><p>"Dimitri, why don't you take the first lap of the current course? Follow the green cloths markers. Dedue follow the red-marked path but you take it second." Tate spoke up, distracting Dimitri from his thoughts as they arrived in the area set up for her course.</p><p>Immediately Dimitri looked over the area to see, with great astonishment, how it had been changed to accommodate a large and varied course. It went over the ground in various marked areas of terrain then moved into and across the trees. There were parts of this course not even visible from the ground right now and he couldn't help the thrum of excitement that bubbled up at this possibility. </p><p>Placing a hand on his back, Tate gave him one pat - perhaps meant as encouragement - then nudged him forward. "You haven't tried the previous courses, you get the first go." </p><p>Without knowing her better, Dimitri felt like looking into her blue eyes he was starting to learn the meanings not immediately apparent. Her face was blank but something in her gaze and actions spoke louder - concern and perhaps apology. For him being 'left out' as it were. It was...nice. Nice to be so considered. </p><p>As it turned out, the course was great fun, for both himself and Dedue. The other students waited for them to have their turn on it before everyone joined in. Then things became even more fun. By the end of the trip, they had all joined in racing through it as Raphael and Caspar were. They were all quite tired but thrilled.</p><p>"I hope your brother was able to get a chance to speak to Professor Hanneman about potential outings for all three Houses as a group." Dimitri observed breathlessly as they headed back. </p><p>Tate nodded, "I would like that. I am sure you could all benefit from more time together." </p><p>Dimitri looked to Dedue next, intending to ask how he had enjoyed the day. Instead, he found himself taking in a breathtaking view. </p><p>Dedue's face was highlighted by the light of the setting sun and he was quietly laughing at a story Raphael was telling them while Caspar eagerly gestured in reaction. It was a quiet and brief thing, but precious nonetheless.</p><p>Dimitri felt happy, and found a fond smile forming on his face. It grew as Dedue glanced over and smiled to him in turn. This had been a good day. </p><p>Dimitri slowed his walk and Dedue sped up to join him. Even without anything to say, they could enjoy just walking together.</p><p>"Looks like Teach is waiting for us." Claude's voice piped up as they came in view of the monastery's main gates again. </p><p>Dimitri looked up and spotted the other Professor seated on a staircase by the gates, writing in his notebook again. Somehow, it felt different from when Dimitri had seen him doing similarly earlier. He couldn't place it but something seemed off about his posture. </p><p>Claude ran ahead to stand under the wall and grin up at him, "Hey Teach, miss us?~"</p><p>"Hm." Dedue made a quiet noise at Dimitri's side and Dimitri turned to look at him.</p><p>"You noticed something as well?" Dimitri gave the nudge to speak, wondering what Dedue was seeing. He might recognize it.</p><p>"His talk with Seteth or Professor Hanneman must have been unfavorable. He seems...disquieted." Dedue offered his observation hesitantly in a low voice.</p><p>Dimitri looked back, considering. Jorah had hopped down from the wall and had said something quietly to Claude. Something about his expression was hard to read but there was something more notable off about the scene that Dimitri could feel but not place.</p><p>"How strange. I would have expected Claude to be leaning on him again as soon as he was in reach. He said he was quite tired from that exercise." Edelgard observed quietly to Tate, but Dimitri was near enough to hear her and see their interaction.</p><p>"He is perhaps trying to show off by not acting tired." Tate stated, but the way she and Edelgard glanced at each other, Dimitri wasn't sure he believed them. </p><p>He did not have time to continue pondering as they had equipment to put away and dinner to fetch. Dimitri was far more tired than he was curious, no matter how good his mood. They had worked hard and he hoped if he were this tired, his evening may be less restless than usual. Provided Sylvain had no company anyway.</p><p>The group had separated to get food and Dimitri didn't see any of the others again till he was heading back to the second floor dorms. As he began heading up the stairs, he was stopped in the stairwell by a hand on his arm, pulling him aside.</p><p>He tensed for a moment till he recognized it was Edelgard, huddled into the darkness and peering up suspiciously.</p><p>"Edelgard. What is it?" Dimitri tried to ask her as quietly as possible, hoping his voice didn't audibly crack the way it felt like it had when he tried to speak after such a start.</p><p>"I heard sounds in the passage. I was concerned." She tried to act nonchalant but seemed nervous. </p><p>"Attackers?" Dimitri tensed again.</p><p>"No..no more… I was concerned the dorms might have some sort of… rodent problem." Edelgard wouldn't meet his eye and seemed very bothered.</p><p>Dimitri stayed still and listened. He heard the soft ruffling and scratching on the landing above, the halfway split in the staircase up to their rooms. He continued to listen carefully, trying to detect what he was hearing.</p><p>"I don't think it's rodents…" Dimitri hazarded carefully, then decided to make an offer as a friend. "I will go up with you and if we observe any, I will try to keep an eye on it while you fetch a Professor or something." </p><p>Edelgard seemed to want to protest but then they heard the sound again and she stiffened up. Dimitri politely did not question why she was so agitated. Perhaps it was just one of her lesser known traits. She did have to have some human foibles after all.</p><p>Carefully and quietly they climbed the stairs together and peeked around the edge of the stairs to see the landing. It was by a window and the sun had truly set now, the only light entering that window now being moonlight or distant lanterns. In this darkened section of stair they were able to see the source of the sound.</p><p>Claude was seated on the windowsill, scratching and picking at the wood and scuffing his shoe on the floor below it. His clothes quietly rustled as his leg moved, and these distant sounds had been hard to identify.</p><p>His expression was as stormy looking as Claude let his face get, something more outwardly pensive but with a furrowed brow that spoke of frustration. He was staring out of the window but picking at the wood and kicking like that were visible signs of his agitation that he would usually hide better.</p><p>Dimitri and Edelgard glanced at each other in concern. Finally, she spoke first.</p><p>"Claude." </p><p>Immediately, his gaze snapped to them. His eyes narrowed a fraction but his face didn't soften, still set. </p><p>"Is something troubling you? We're here to help if there is." Dimitri offered, wondering if diplomacy would be taken better than being direct in this case. </p><p>Claude looked at his position, at the wood beneath his hands, then stood. "It's sweet of you two, but no. Thanks." There was something just a little sharp in his usual casual tones.</p><p>"Did something occur with your Professor?" Edelgard cut right to the point. They had seen things were strange earlier after all. </p><p>Claude twitched. Like if he were anyone else, he'd have snapped. Instead, he headed to start up the rest of stairs.</p><p>"Let's just say you got your wish, Princess. Apparently you aren't the only one with some concerns about our decorum." That was the closest Dimitri had ever heard Claude get to growling out a response, and they didn't have long to ponder it as he was quickly heading upstairs ahead of them.</p><p>"Why wait in the stairwell if he doesn't wish to see other students." Edelgard looked after him, voice thoughtful and expression puzzled. </p><p>Dimitri looked out the window and felt he understood all he needed. </p><p>Out that window he could see Jorah pacing back and forth in front of his room, notebook still in hand. </p><p>"Let's just head upstairs. It's been a long day." Dimitri observed to Edelgard as she joined him to look out of the window.</p><p>"Yes...I think that would be wise."</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Edelgard has a lot of thoughts ABOUT feelings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Since the day with the other House Leaders at practice, Edelgard had seen a notable decrease in Claude’s enthusiasm for various antics around the school. Normally this might be a cause for celebration to some, but it left a sour taste in Edelgard’s mouth. She wouldn’t consider herself friends with the other House Leaders, but she didn’t hate them. Overall, they were obstacles in her path to either be overcome or converted to her side...except when they weren’t.</p><p>Perhaps it was her unnecessary growing affection for her Professor and classmates, but Edelgard was starting to find joy in shared activities and getting to bond with others. It was something others had denied her and she had come to not allow herself, a way to protect against the pains she knew would come in her life along the path she had to tread. But these days, it was starting to feel as if doing those things she had once been denied gave her power. An act of rebellion, defiance of those who considered themselves her handlers, and a reminder that she was still human. They had tried to strip this of her, but she wished to win a world for humanity, and human she would remain.</p><p>To acknowledge she was human meant she had to also acknowledge that she had weaknesses. That there were parts of herself that she did not like and wished to change rather than purely repressing. An object is molded and used, with undesirable parts sanded away or cut off completely, reshaped to be exactly as needed or cast aside when unable to be fixed. A person must strive to improve where they found faults, for they cast themselves aside. </p><p>Edelgard had been trained for so long to not accept disappointment of her handlers, to always strive for perfection. What she found instead was that her Professor’s disappointment was not to be feared - it was her sadness. To act out and instead face misunderstanding and hurt rather than rightful disappointment and scolding was new and shook Edelgard deeply. </p><p>Tate had been so very excited about her obstacle courses and how well her class had liked them. Edelgard could see it in little things, a small sparkle to her eyes when planning it, and just how she spoke when she eagerly told Petra and Caspar that she would be making improvements and expanding the courses. The exact expression was lacking but the feeling was present.</p><p>When they had invited representatives of the other Houses to help test the expanded course, Edelgard had not understood the mild anxious twitch or concern she had seen on her Professor, though she had been able to spot it was there. It was when she heard the twins speak that the understanding hit. Jorah had been reassuring her that it was not something wrong with her course, but that Hanneman had likely just been distracted and they would make sure the Blue Lions got to join in on the fun. </p><p>There was something sweet about this that warmed Edelgard’s heart, though she tried to ignore that. Her Professor was so eager to please and eager to share her exploits with the other Houses. It was one of the things that made her so easy for Edelgard to warm up to - that she wished to see them improve and to facilitate it to the best of her ability. </p><p>This day had been what caused the shift in Claude’s enthusiasm, but more pertinently, drew Edelgard’s attention to the other House Leaders in a different way. Prior to this, he had been a minor interest but now she could not help her thoughts from returning to them, and from wondering at the things they had caused her to see. </p><p>Dimitri had been left to fetch his equipment and his companion, so Edelgard had been waiting at the Gates with the other assembled students. While Jorah was reassuring his sister, and Caspar enthusiastically filling in Raphael on the course, Edelgard herself had focused on some playful testing of wits against Claude. A bit of sharp banter was good practice and it helped both keep their skills alive. It was a good way to pass the time, if only it hadn’t gotten personal.</p><p>The entire time they had been talking, Claude hadn’t stood straight. He’d spent most of their conversation leaning back on Jorah’s shoulder like his teacher was a wall. He only stopped this because Jorah had finished talking to his sister and started discussing something with Raphael and Caspar so needed to turn and use his hands. At that point, Claude had moved from leaning on him to draped around him with his chin on Jorah’s shoulder. They had been completely focused on their separate conversations, but utterly comfortable in each other.</p><p>It made Edelgard’s blood boil in a way she didn’t understand at the time, and she’d shot back with some comment about him being unable to function without lounging on his Professor. Shoddy work on her part - a weak comeback to what he’d said and sharper than she’d meant to be. They were supposed to be sparring not making personal attacks. </p><p>Claude was not one to take that lying down and had responded in kind. If she would make a personal jab at him, he was making one back. So he had made an insinuation that she was just as bad for being carried back to her room by Tate after their recent training. </p><p>That comment had stripped right past her defenses and justifications, getting right to the truth of the matter - Edelgard was jealous. </p><p>Claude was favored by his Professor, given affection and praise easily. They had an understanding, a clear bond, and Edelgard wanted the same. She wished she could so freely wile for Tate’s attention, wished she could ask for the tenderness and affection she longed for in her life. It may even be given if she asked, but Edelgard did not dare ask - could not justify it to herself. That was a weakness and a distraction to ask for. </p><p>Regardless of how she deserved his jab, Tate had stepped in at that point. It had only taken a look at her brother and a slight motion of her hand, and the situation was being handled. She may have no direct connection to Claude but Tate and her brother had an understanding and it was clear she would keep anyone from making such a strike at Edelgard. His comment had been warranted, but Edelgard had been defended. </p><p>Jorah had made a joke and given Claude a look, Claude had backed off but nothing between them seemed to indicate any displeasure. That wasn’t a scolding - it was a tactical retreat. Jorah likely agreed that Edelgard was out of line - he hadn’t stepped in on his own, after all - and only made any attempt to rein in Claude after it seemed to displease his sister. They really were already becoming a unit and Edelgard quite wished to see how it worked out in combat.</p><p>She wasn’t sure how she would have dealt with this situation if it had truly gone unpunished. Perhaps it would have remained there, unconsidered and left behind in the wake of bigger and better things to worry about. There was to be no reprimand and no one else spoke of it, they merely set off for the course. But Edelgard had been met with the unintended consequences of what she’d done, and it had been a price she hadn’t expected to pay.</p><p>As they had walked towards the course, Edelgard had walked in step with her Professor, familiar with the path easily now. The others trailed behind them and Edelgard was glad of it - she would not justify herself in wiling for attention, but she liked any time she and Tate could converse alone. This time, it meant she was privy to a rare sight.</p><p>Tate’s normally flat line of mouth was turned down at the edges and her eyes softly downcast, an overall image of the gentlest sadness Edelgard had ever seen. Where she’d previously been anxious or enthusiastic, somewhere along the line it had become sadness and Edelgard was at a loss for what to do.</p><p>“Professor, what is it?” She had asked quietly, knowing full well people such as them never wished others to notice their moments of vulnerability. At least the rest were distracted so they could speak in peace.</p><p>“Was carrying you back to the dorms improper?” </p><p>Tate’s voice had changed none in tone, but it felt more like a well of emotion than usual and Edelgard was suddenly afraid she was going to drown in it. The echo of her earlier jab at Claude smacked her in the face now in an unexpected fashion. She had snapped at him and implied his conduct was faulty, when it was merely upsetting to her own feelings for unrelated reasons and his actions were harmless. By doing so, when he returned fire with a comment on an equally innocent gesture of affection, it had made Tate question her professionalism. </p><p>It was a lesson on unintended side-effects and watching her temper, to be sure.</p><p>“Of course not.” Edelgard looked down, “I was in the wrong, Professor...I was being childish in my attempt to gain advantage over my opponent, and it was thoughtless. I will apologize to Claude and to your brother for my actions.” Anything, within reason, to stop her questioning herself that way. To stop creating cracks in the sturdy person she was coming to rely on so much.</p><p>The sad expression dissipated in favor of returning to her blank face in some imitation of surprise then it softened again, the edges of her eyes crinkling just a bit.</p><p>“If that is what you think is best. I trust your judgement.” Tate assured her and said no more. </p><p>For a moment, Edelgard had almost wondered if it had been an act. But no, that was not her Professor’s style of teasing. She would not use subterfuge that way to teach a lesson. So she must truly trust Edelgard’s ability to judge when her own was in question. It felt nice and gave her the little swell of pride and confidence it took to step back and try to apologize to Claude while she had the chance.</p><p>She never got the chance to apologize to Jorah - it was never appropriate after that. When they had returned to the Monastery, he’d talked seriously to Claude about something and she’d wondered, especially given he had been talking to Seteth before they left. It had been concerning and she’d seen the same worry in her Professor’s eyes, even if Tate hadn’t openly voiced it.</p><p>That evening had confirmed multiple things for Edelgard. She had faced another of her own personal weaknesses, fearing heading upstairs to encounter some sort of vermin. Dimitri had shown his virtue in accompanying her and not acknowledging any show of vulnerability. What they had found almost made her regret it wasn’t a rat. Those could be avoided or chased away or dealt with. </p><p>Instead, they had found Claude and confirmation of what she had suspected. Seteth had said something about his Professor indulging him in so much affection and they were going to have to stop it. He’d made a dry remark about her getting her wish and Edelgard had been nagged by guilt since.</p><p>She worked so hard to banish guilt in her life, for every thing she did, every step along her path, she had to banish reservations about it. To give an inch to her feelings was to open the door and falter in her step. But the ground was crumbling beneath Edelgard and guilt had found its way inside, following the path of the arrow through her defenses Claude had left with his earlier words. </p><p>Because she could not help but wonder - if she’d said nothing to Claude, would Seteth have said anything to Jorah? Without knowing Seteth or how long he had been planning to speak to Jorah on this or how long he had been near, Edelgard could not be certain that her words had not been the spark to light the flame, nor could she be sure that Claude didn’t think so. For even if she had not, if he blamed her, that could mean trouble. He was better kept a neutral party at worst and an ally at best. To make an enemy of Claude put her at more disadvantage in any of her plans at Garreg Mach because Edelgard had no doubt that if truly pushed Claude would fight both brutally and fight dirty.</p><p>She had let the situation simmer for a time and watched him. If he had shown any sign of hostility or anger, Edelgard would be ready and fight back. Perhaps with time she could sway him back to her side.</p><p>Instead, she had seen his enthusiasm drop. He didn’t wilt like a flower, shrink away from life and start to vanish like in dramatic romances she heard Dorothea read aloud sometimes. No, Claude was still himself, still a smile and an easy manner and moving about his day to day. But it was like watching a painting that had been left unmaintained in a grand ballroom - slowly colors faded with time beneath layers of dust, so the image was still present but its vibrancy was diminished. </p><p>She had seen it in Jorah as well. He gestured less when he spoke, seemed to be out and about less. Edelgard did not know him well enough to determine if this was fear keeping him in line, or something else. The distance seemed to have created a sadness that hung in the air but went unexplained and unnoticed by most. </p><p>It tasted sour in Edelgard’s mouth. It made preparations to fight feel off and wrong. It made her want to solve the problem hastily, just as when she had so quickly wanted to apologize to Tate. There was something in hurting others that Edelgard had necessarily trained herself out of acknowledging, and she was being unintentionally trained right back into facing. Dealing with not the bitter stinging taste of blood, but an uncomfortable sourness that stuck out and stung and refused to let her forget the sweet she had known before. That there had been joy there and it was removed carelessly.</p><p>Ultimately, she had tried to corner Claude. Perhaps her guilt had driven her to act too quickly, or perhaps she had just been too sick of seeing a worthy opponent off his game so unable to push her further. Edelgard didn’t take the time to examine it, merely pulled him aside one day outside of the Dining Hall.</p><p>“I want you to know, it was never my intention that you or your Professor should be reprimanded for what occurred.” Edelgard had started, but was quickly cut off by Claude.</p><p>“I already know that.” He held up a hand. “I doubt you’d make a decision as tactically unwise as that. “</p><p>“Oh? What makes you think it’s so tactically unwise?” Edelgard narrowed her eyes at him, curious in spite of herself. </p><p>Claude leaned in to look back. His smile almost never reached his eyes but when all one could see was his eyes, it made one have to focus on them, and Edelgard knew danger when she saw it.</p><p>“Because if just leaning on and being casually affectionate with a Professor is enough to warrant a talking to, what do you think would happen if one were accused of going to a student’s room at night or carrying her places?” </p><p>Immediately Edelgard’s hackles were up and she snapped back, “Watch what you say. I will not tolerate such unfounded accusations.” </p><p>“Relax. As I said, I know it wasn’t your fault and I have no intention of encouraging Seteth to reprimand anyone else. It won’t make him any more lenient, probably just stricter.” Claude stepped back and crossed his arms. “I saw Seteth watching us out of the corner of my eye that day, and I saw Dedue pause on the way looking that direction. Things were already in motion.”</p><p>Edelgard stood straight again, smoothing her uniform carefully. “I appreciate you taking the time to speak to me.” </p><p>“Is that what I’m doing? Huh.” Claude shrugged. “Well, keep in mind what I said. I’m not the only set of eyes at the school, obviously.”” He turned and headed off quickly.</p><p>And keep it in mind she did. </p><p>Claude had a way about saying things that were correct in a way that got under Edelgard’s skin. What she knew to be innocent situations now easily sounded like something scandalous. She hated it.</p><p>Of all the things she was doing that could anger the Church at present, this was the least of her problems. And yet, this was the one that Edelgard had the least contingencies for and was least eager to have discovered. If her other plans were discovered, if she suddenly had to push other time tables up or deal with fallout, she was prepared. She had been trained for years for these and knew others would make it work, even if it came at a high personal cost. </p><p>This though, to have her Professor reprimanded or punished for innocently checking on her after nightmares or helping her return to her room...it made Edelgard taste that same sourness that she couldn’t stand. These small things that made her feel free again, that reminded her she was still human and could have human connections. It disgusted her to think of that being so easily ripped away by foolish misunderstandings or unwise ideas. </p><p>She also hated the idea of how much it would hurt Tate. For all she was struggling with herself, with how much to give away, with how much to trust and to conceal, she knew she was growing very attached to Tate. It felt strange that a Princess would look at a hardened Mercenary and think she was the innocent one of them, but that was the closest to what she could call it. Tate wasn’t naive, she wasn’t blinded by an optimistic ideal for everything, but she was very much innocent. There was a strange detachment from the world, as if she had never known it but at a distance. That innocence would leave her very open to the worst kinds of hurts.</p><p>The delight at sharing a homemade training course with competing students, the tendency towards fondly treating a rowdy student like a playful kitten, the openness to immediately seek to help when she heard a student having nightmares while on security rounds...These were the traits that would die a cold death before they could truly blossom, in the world they lived in. Edelgard was afraid those traits would even die by her hands one day, that she may have to choose between her path and her mentor. She didn’t want to make that choice.</p><p>It was these thoughts that kept her from even chasing sleep that night. She would wake to the screams and cries and blood of her family anyway. But Edelgard could not even bring herself to try, so considering the ramifications of the changes in her life. </p><p>There had been another layer to what Claude had told her. That it would be a tactical misstep. On the surface, it seemed like a threat against the Black Eagles and their progress. To reprimand and possibly remove their Professor, it would be dangerous. But from his perspective, there was a stronger point to be made. Just like him, Edelgard was attached to her teacher. She was fond of the company, the praise, the way she was treated and any favor she received. </p><p>Would she truly be able to endure without it now she had had it?</p><p>After having been so long without tenderness, without the care from someone as an equal, now that Edelgard had had a taste of it, would she be able to endure having that taken away? That was what made things sting now. It was what empowered that little voice at the back of her mind that liked to ask if what she was doing was right, or if it would all taste like ashes in her mouth in the end? </p><p>She knew Hubert would tell her that of course she could endure without such things. She had for so long, after all. It was foolish to let someone get so close and to entertain these doubts. Usually, she would think he was right for it. But the longer she was here, the more it felt like the person in the mirror wasn’t someone she recognized as herself. Did she even exist as a person anymore? Sometimes, she doubted that.</p><p>A hand grasped hers and tugged gently, pulling Edelgard from her thoughts.</p><p>It was late and she was standing on a vista on one of the upper floors of one of the Academy buildings. She had meandered up this way a while ago and merely been leaning on a wall staring off into the distance. Behind her, Tate stood and gave another quiet and insistent tug at her hand. </p><p>“Professor? What is it?”</p><p>“You were shivering. You should not stand against cold stones at night if you are chilly. You should come inside.” Tate said, tone firm in the same way it was when she said it was time for a break. </p><p>“I couldn’t sleep.” Edelgard admitted, though that hadn’t been asked. Still, she stepped away from the wall and walked nearer to her Professor. </p><p>She tried not to blush at the hand holding her own, even through her gloves. She hesitantly turned her hand to grasp Tate’s in return, wondering if she would pull away now that Edelgard had done as she asked.</p><p>Tate did not pull away, merely gave a soft squeeze through their linked hands. “I understand. I just do not want you to be unwell. I am not forcing you to sleep.” </p><p>“Thank you.” Edelgard said no more, looking at her feet and just walking along beside her. She had so much on her mind and no idea how to express it, especially in the present company.</p><p>For her part, Tate said nothing. Merely walked with her and continued her rounds for security in the building. Sometimes she would gently tug if Edelgard began to lag behind or would stop and tilt her head, looking at her pensive face as if that would give a clue.</p><p>“Professor, how is your brother?” Edelgard asked at last, once they had finished walking through that building and headed out onto the main grounds.</p><p>Tate’s brows twitched closer together a fraction. </p><p>“I believe he is troubled.” She said at last, as if the words had been a struggle to find.</p><p>Edelgard hesitated before asking, “Did he tell you what’s on his mind?”</p><p>“He did not. It upsets him but he does not wish to bother me.” She glanced over, looking at Edelgard seriously. “But you know?”</p><p>“I do.” Edelgard looked down, but she did not hesitate. “I believe his discussion with Seteth the day we went to the course...I believe he was told to refrain from being so physically affectionate with Claude.”</p><p>Tate frowned and her brows moved, expression more cloudy. “I had thought Seteth liked my brother.”</p><p>“He may, but as a member of the Church, he may have firmer standards as to what is or is not appropriate with a student.” Edelgard pointed out.</p><p>Tate looked up in an odd manner and seemed to be trying to do something with her face and failing at it. She kept looking repeatedly to the upper left and back forward.</p><p>“Professor?” </p><p>Squeezing her eyes shut, Tate shook her head. “I was trying to imitate an expression. The one Hubert makes when Ferdinand begins certain tangents.”</p><p>Edelgard pondered then had to quickly cover a giggle. “Professor! You were trying to roll your eyes?”</p><p>“Is that what he is doing? It just looks like he’s looking up at the corner of the room…” </p><p>Somehow, in the middle of all of this trouble, Edelgard found something amusing and endearing in Tate still. Something so detached from the world and just refreshing. Something free.</p><p>“Professor, why were you trying to roll your eyes anyway?”</p><p>“It seemed the accurate response to what I was hearing. I will ask Hubert if I am using it wrong tomorrow?” Tate tilted her head. “Or tonight, if I see where he is hiding. I think he gave up following you when he saw you were going on my rounds with me.”</p><p>Edelgard had to withdraw her hand from Tate’s to cover her mouth in both of them. “Professor, please, you are too much.”</p><p>Tate covered her mouth and made a quiet little huffy sound akin to a laugh. “I am glad I could make you laugh.” </p><p>Edelgard took a deep breath and smiled herself. “I’m glad I could see you happy.” </p><p>Slowly, both of their expressions dulled away. The night was cold and the conversation they’d been having returned to their minds. </p><p>“Would talking to your brother help him any?” Edelgard asked at last. </p><p>“It would not. Even knowing why he is upset, it would not help.” Tate shook her head.</p><p>Edelgard sighed, “I thought not.” She looked away and shivered again. </p><p>From the corner of her eye, she saw Tate reaching forward to touch her arm again, then pausing. Tate frowned and withdrew her hand. </p><p>It seemed she now had the answer to a question that had never been said aloud. Edelgard was suddenly glad Hubert had ceased to follow them. She knew now her reaction to the threat of losing her Professor and the affection she’d been shown, however little it was. He would not agree with her continuing to be around someone who could compromise her resolve so.</p><p>“Professor.” Edelgard stepped closer to her on purpose. “Perhaps we should speak to Seteth? I don’t recall seeing anything less than innocent between them, and you know your brother’s character very well.” It was a choice she loathed to make, to talk to him, but if it protected what she had, Edelgard would go further than she had imagined.</p><p>Tate’s brows raised then furrowed again. Several minute looks passed over her face before she spoke. “We may do so tomorrow.” </p><p>Edelgard, for a moment, worried she may not have succeeded in her cause. That from this point forward, her Professor would be more cautious. More guarded with her than before.</p><p>Then Tate drew the jacket from her shoulders to settle over Edelgard and pull closer. Once more, she gave a rare tiny smile. </p><p>“Tonight is too late to speak with him, and you need rest, Edelgard. Come on, I will walk you back.” </p><p>Edelgard returned her smile and nodded. “Thank you, Professor. I think I may be able to sleep more easily now.”</p><p>They would try to deal with this tomorrow.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Jorah has problems but he's doing his best</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Special thanks to Blahzor for writing the amazing Faith to His Green, a Claudeleth fic with male Byleth that gave me some inspiration for this chapter's happenings and a few upcoming mini-plot-points.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With a combination of a family he didn’t quite fit and an unstable home life - in that he lacked a set home at all - Jorah had some emotional issues he struggled with regularly. It was just a fact of his life and something he worked regularly to keep a handle on, but something he always had to be aware of. </p><p>As a child, he had frequently fought between his natural emotive personality and the fear he was too expressive for his family, too much in general. His sister showed too little and he knew their father had fears about her caring for him, but she was also the easier one to deal with. Jeralt instructed Tate and she usually did what he said without much fight. Jorah was full of questions, full of feelings - he had the temper, the obvious preferences to places or tasks, the curiosity and habitual talkativeness. It was a struggle between being himself and trying to fit in better, to please easier. </p><p>It resulted in Jorah trying to be more outwardly amiable as a general rule. In him tempering any responses he had to situations. To be able to shut himself down inside when things hurt too deeply was a very necessary skill. It was particularly necessary when coupled with certain abilities that came out when he was in combat. It kept him functional after a fight. </p><p>The choices he’d made for his own independence and health had also come at a cost. Jorah had changed his name, had left the mercenaries and had sought a life that suited him. He had made the decisions that disconnected him from his family. The closest he’d had to stability was the presence of his father and his sister, and he’d had to separate from that. To fly from the only perch he had ever known, and know he couldn’t truly return, because if he stayed he’d have been crushed by the very nest he clung to.</p><p>It meant every connection he made after was precious. That those he chose to work with and spend time with were those he most wished to please. The respect of superiors and colleagues, the admiration of peers and students, the closeness of any friendships, Jorah clung to all of these things. He would go very far to not lose those he cared for, to not disappoint them.</p><p>This put Jorah in a very awful position when he was forced to choose between those connections. In this case, between the close friendship and camaraderie he had found with Claude, and the respect and advice of Seteth about his position. </p><p>Seteth was his superior and a colleague that Jorah deeply respected the opinion of - he might be a bit of a stuffy sort but it came from a good place and a genuine desire that students be well educated. Jorah wanted to live up to his expectations - and to keep his job. Some advice to perform his duties better or just to consider given his position was vital to pay attention to.</p><p>In turn, Jorah’s connection to Claude was something very special to him. They played off each other very well and had personalities that meshed. They were both physically affectionate, with pretty easy unspoken understanding of limits and skills. There was a kinship Jorah appreciated about the way they interacted - that there was a lot being unsaid under the surface, a lot of emotions held back with the veneer of calm on both sides. It wasn’t the same as being reserved, a different form of it. Rather than not expressing anything, they carefully picked what to express.</p><p>Every interaction with Claude tended to leave Jorah excited to prolong it or eagerly awaiting the next, and it seemed that was mutual. They gravitated towards each other, with Claude coming to chat or lean on him even when focusing elsewhere. Jorah didn’t yet know enough about him to know what would draw Claude to someone like him exactly, but he probably appreciated their similarities too. Jorah enjoyed the wildness and wit that Claude brought into his life. He played lackadaisical but there was too much passion to truly hide. </p><p>Claude was a creature of layers - the outermost was the easiest to see, the slacker who liked to play. Beyond that was the schemer, the one who the likes of Edelgard seemed ready to put up fronts to face. But beyond that, Jorah could see something even deeper. There was a powerful heart and a lot of care, ambitions that Jorah did not yet understand, but saw the potential for something truly wonderful. There was more to him than he let others see.</p><p>It felt, when they were together, that Jorah was dealing with an equal. Not in power but in nature. Someone who was doing the same thing he was - trying to find the exact right level of himself that could be revealed and have others accept him. So falling into easy affection with each other suited that. There was a natural trust that had formed quickly that made Jorah feel like someone else knew exactly where he was coming from for once. That things could work out, somehow. </p><p>Their bond was also entirely innocent. While Jorah admittedly did like men exclusively, he didn’t know anything of Claude’s preferences or need to know at this time. They were friends and allies, mentor and student, trying to push each other to new heights. Nothing more was needed right now, they had other things to focus on. Maybe someday, it would be someone like Claude that would be an ideal partner for him - but they were both pretty young to be thinking about that and had goals that were way more important. </p><p>Seteth hadn’t seen it that way. He had been kind but firm. </p><p>“You and your House Leader are extremely affectionate. Possibly even concerningly so.” Seteth had said, but held up a hand. “Before you speak, I do not suspect anything...inappropriate, at this time. I have seen no evidence of that and I would like to trust that your character is beyond that. However...It could still prove detrimental to his education or your position. You are...very close in age to your students, as is your sister. I fear you may end up coddling them, or allowing your friendships and affections to outweigh your judgement as their Professor. Just as much, I do not want them to see your ease with them as something to exploit. I do not want either you or your students endangered because of your friendships.”</p><p>Jorah had felt many things in that moment and he replayed everything Seteth said in his head day after day. He hoped he’d kept his face neutral, given Seteth a polite ‘thank you’ for his words and gone to try to compose himself. He had certainly needed a while before he felt he had any control of his emotions and would be able to face talking to Claude. </p><p>Jorah had thought he was doing well. He and the Deer got on very naturally and he was working hard to try to meet their needs and push them to excel. It was a serious blow to think that he might not be. That something he hadn’t even foreseen could be an issue in that way. As far as he’d seen it, his students respected him just fine and were very receptive to his methods. </p><p>When the group had returned, Jorah had dreaded first talking to Claude. He’d come darting right up to greet him, ready to talk, probably ready to hang on him and chatter about their training sessions. Jorah would have loved to talk to him about those, to hear about how he’d done and what he thought of the course, his ideas for improvements - if any - or ideas for how to put their class through it. But that would be directly counter to what he’d just been advised of and he was dreading the conversation they were going to have to have.</p><p>Claude could read him well enough to not just throw an arm around him. It would have killed Jorah to throw him off or need to stop him. He didn’t like stifling Claude’s casual manners - it was something he himself appreciated not having to keep in complete check with someone. But no, Claude had known something was wrong immediately and been on guard. He had played calm, like he was showing off not not being tired when everyone else was. </p><p>They had walked to put away gear and then Jorah had spoken to him privately. Claude had not taken it well. He hadn’t been mad at Jorah personally, but he was visibly frustrated. </p><p>“Guess we need to do what we need to. Professional it is.” A dramatic eyeroll, a heavy sigh, a wide shrug. </p><p>That was the last they’d really spoken. </p><p>Conversations felt stilted these days, or like they were talking through a wall. It was weird and heavy. Jorah supposed it should be the same as interacting with anyone else, any other stranger or co-worker. But that's not what it felt like.</p><p>Now everything had become a question. Was this a boundary too far? Were they acting out? Was he coddling his students by trying to be playful?</p><p>He was more cautious at times, acted more like he was in mixed company - didn't laugh as freely at jokes or tell them himself, didn't go for hair ruffles or pats on the shoulder. Mostly it didn't affect as much - he didn't suddenly become stricter for it.</p><p>Jorah tried not to go off on long tangents either - which had been a habit he was developing whenever he and Claude got to talking during particularly good topics. Sometimes the others would join in but often it was just them. Jorah had started to suspect sometimes the others - usually Hilda - would try to guide topics that way on purpose but there was no concrete proof and now there wouldn't be. </p><p>There had been an attempt or two at it. Unintentionally, he and Claude had begun a discussion on a historical battle the class had been reading up on and the finer points of some diplomatic choices made in the accounts. In a moment they'd been themselves again, Claude leaning forward, chin resting on his hands as Jorah stepped closer to better speak with him, gesturing as he did. There had been a second where Jorah had caught himself about to tap the tip of Claude's nose and tease him. </p><p>Then all at once, reality had hit. Perhaps because Jorah had realized what he was doing and stopped. But part of him insisted that it was because right then, he'd looked in Claude's eyes and seen when the truth in them closed off, when his easy smile stopped reaching them and Jorah didn't know what he was thinking anymore. </p><p>At once, the moment was shattered. Claude closed his eyes and leaned back in his seat, tipping away from the desk and putting more physical distance between them. Jorah had turned and walked back to the board and gotten back on topic. No one else had dared try to divert them for the rest of the lesson.</p><p>Marianne had approached him after. She had wrung her hands and said "um" quietly a few times before losing her nerve, saying "nevermind" and quickly leaving. Jorah didn't blame her - what was she even to ask? But he appreciated the thought. </p><p>Jorah felt like any ability to teach was slipping from him too. Maybe he was just faking it before, getting lucky and ultimately he was bad at this and had just been getting through on pure luck and false confidence. He tried to tell himself that was wrong but any mistake he made, anything that wasn't coming easily as it normally did, felt like another sign that he didn't belong.</p><p>He did his best to not let his emotional issues keep him from working all the same. Jorah had students to teach and planned lessons to get through. Even if it was harder, he was still going to push through and just be more conscious of his choices.</p><p> Trying to be more self-aware made Jorah slightly more prone to being extra careful with his tactics. He didn't want to underestimate and ultimately get someone hurt. He had some planned tasks from the job board for helping the Deer train and had tried to keep a close eye on everyone's progress. </p><p>They had pursued rumors of bandits a short way into Alliance territory. Still pretty close to the Monastery but far enough out to be unfamiliar ground and some actual experience rather than picking off a few ruffians too foolhardy to steer clear of the Knights. When they had selected the mission, the Deer had been eager to go. A proper challenge sounded appealing to everybody. This was the first time facing a real threat for the Golden Deer.</p><p>As it turned out, the forest they'd been seeking was actually the Bandits' base and was more well stocked and full of enemies than anticipated. None of the Deer were grievously hurt but some were pretty close to where they would actively have to retreat or they'd never make it.</p><p>Marianne was in the best physical condition but tiring fast. She would run out of energy for spells soon, he was sure,and was not currently strong enough to withstand physical hits yet. Best suited to physicality were Hilda and Raphael still but neither was quite adept at dodging and Hilda could only take so many hits before she was down.</p><p>Leonie had taken a bad hit to her torso protecting Ignatz and had been forced to back off and return to their camp. Ignatz himself was getting wobbly and his bowstring had snapped so Jorah had him join her. Lorenz was holding firm as was Lysithea but Jorah was pretty sure they were tiring and the latter especially was something of a glass of fireworks.</p><p>Claude and Jorah himself were in good condition. Claude had taken a hit or two but was still ready to press on. Jorah was remaining on spells for now to not have Marianne as the only here, but he kept his weapon at the ready. </p><p>It made him a little sad, really. The Deer would finally learn he carried an axe, but it wasn't really something worth caring about right now. Not that he blamed them but still. He had found teasing Claude about it fun.</p><p>The real problem, Jorah was finding, was he didn't know exactly how many enemies were ahead. Or if his students could take the hits in store. They could possibly do it but he was leaning towards having them retreat and regroup. They might lose some element of surprise, more of the bandits could flee, but it would keep them from meeting any life threatening injuries. Classes from the Academy usually only had a small escort to maintain camp - a guard or two and some supplies. Anything more serious would require returning to the Monastery for aid.</p><p>"What are we waiting around for?" Raphael hisses from his spot of cover nearby.</p><p>"I'm assessing our chances and whether or not we should pull back." Jorah admitted. </p><p>"Really?" Claude looked over at him incredulously. "I'm in pretty good position to take out a few more enemies if I move to that vantage point over there. It's good cover and we can be out of this nice and easy."</p><p>"It would leave you closer to a section of territory I can't see well enough. I don't think we have an accurate assessment of how many enemies we're dealing with." Jorah countered. </p><p>"More than half of us are still fighting fit. Most of us haven't even been hit." Lysithea, ever eager and sure of herself, was of course in favor of continuing. She would likely still try to cast even when exhausted.</p><p>"That's because Raphael and I are getting hit for you, and I don't know if I can keep it up, even with Marianne healing me." Hilda could always be relied on to be in favor of giving up.</p><p>"I'm healing as fast as I can." Marianne's response was neither a vote of confidence or against. She would only ever see her own weakness in ant situation. </p><p>"I could definitely take ten more gu-mmph!" Raphael had to quickly be silenced by Hilda and Lorenz, for he was almost giving them away. </p><p>"Raphael, I appreciate your enthusiasm but we don't know if they've been hiding any casters and I distrust how many archers and axe users I've seen versus anyone with a sword. Most bandit groups that last long enough to establish themselves a full base usually have a more diversified team in skills."</p><p>Jorah tried to keep his head. This was worrisome but part of battle. It's not like they were going to just trust him at his word with no explanation. He wasn't the famed mercenary, after all, he was the tutor who had been a stagehand.</p><p>"Can we at least try?" Claude was tense, shifting his shoulders and scuffing his foot on the ground. "This is our first real mission and we're giving up. I'm pretty sure if I can get over there, I can get more of them dealt with and give us a better idea of their numbers."</p><p>"It is your first mission and I'd prefer it not be your last." Jorah responded, still trying to rein in his feelings. He was in charge here and needed to act like it. He didn't know if Claude was just upset about potential failure or if he trying to push Jorah's buttons for some reason, but there was something unspoken that Jorah wasn't catching. It bothered him a lot.</p><p>"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Claude crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back to look at Jorah with narrowed eyes. </p><p>Jorah took a deep breath, trying to keep from showing any nerves. "It's not a matter of confidence, it's a matter of practicality-"</p><p>"We don't need to be <i>coddled</i> like small children, <i>Professor</i>." </p><p>The words hit as deeply as if they'd been an arrow. Jorah had every confidence in Claude's abilities as both an archer and as a wordsmith. That confidence was perfectly accurately placed given how a few well chosen words could make Jorah feel like the world was collapsing.</p><p>He had lost him. </p><p>It wasn't just that they had lost their closeness. In this, Jorah suddenly felt he had also lost any trust he was garnering as their leader, at least any from Claude. Whatever he'd missed unsaid in their little tiff, it had been enough.</p><p>Claude had clearly had enough of this and of him. He didn't wait for the call to retreat, he moved forward as planned towards his next vantage point. The sounds of his bowstring were heard shortly.</p><p>Jorah did not have time to be devastated right now. Shutting out whatever he could of his feelings, he set his jaw and gestured.</p><p>"We're moving then." </p><p>"Are you sure?" Lorenz asked, looking at him seriously. "If we should be retreating…"</p><p>"We don't have to quite yet but if we must I will call for it. We're not leaving one of ours out to dry in a combat situation for a petty victory." Jorah said firmly and set to giving orders. </p><p>It was unfortunately as Jorah suspected. The bandits had stealthy fighters hiding amidst the trees and casters in a clearing to the center. There were still plenty of powerful brawlers as well. It was not going to be an easy fight out of this. It was still seeming reasonably possible, however. </p><p>Then Raphael had gone down to a spell, completely unprepared for it. Hilda had tried to hold on after he fell but took a very nasty hit from a sword and Marianne could only just stabilize her. Lorenz and Lysithea had to cover those three escaping, and he had ultimately had to retreat carrying her when someone managed to go after her with a hammer. They would likely all live but it was getting bad.</p><p>That left what Jorah had feared most. Claude without the Golden Deer to support him. He was a fantastic archer, a clever strategist in the making, but he was still only one person. Only a teenaged boy with a bow and a suddenly less than ideal position in a forest surrounded by very experienced bandits. His escape route was blocked and he was out of arrows.</p><p>Jorah had one ability he could use in times like this. It was something he'd discovered by accident a long time ago, when his sister and he had been separated from the mercenary band as children. It was something he'd later wondered about being associated with his Crest buy could never figure out. </p><p>It was something he used very sparingly, preferably never of possible, but it was something he would use to protect those dear to him. His students were very dear but this one most of all. Even if they were nothing to each other after this, he wouldn't let Claude die. </p><p>With a colossal leap, Jorah landed in the middle of the center clearing, in front of where Claude had ultimately been chased. He held his axe at the ready. Nothing would be getting past him to Claude, from any direction. </p><p>His Dragon Rage had begun and it was time to finish these bandits. </p><p>In this state, Jorah couldn't feel pain, could shrug off any number of hits. His emotional state and desire to protect, his deep rage at his enemies, it would keep him going as long as necessary. And so long as he was up, they couldn't go after Claude.</p><p>It was a long and hard fight but one after another they all fell. After, Jorah still felt physically numb but he knew the recoil would hit him soon. Just like a spell user pushing themselves too hard and having a spell backfire, he would eventually have to actually deal with the damage he'd taken while his body had been temporarily under the impression he was some kind of powerful creature and not a human being.</p><p>Till that recoil hit, Jorah had things to do.</p><p>With his opponents gone, the rage subsided. Jorah felt emotionally drained - but then, he had anyway. Turning, he looked at Claude on the ground and for a moment, couldn't quite recognize him. He looked like Claude, certainly, but there was an unfamiliar apprehension to him. A vulnerability that was likely unintentionally shown - because why should Claude trust him with any of that? </p><p>He seemed so small in this moment. Jorah reached down and took hold of the crook of one elbow, guiding Claude to his feet and looking him over for injury. He seemed afraid and actually flinched when Jorah brushed a spot of blood off his cheek. But then, why shouldn't he flinch away? This wasn't someone Claude was close with anymore.</p><p>With a gentle grasp on his elbow, Jorah walked him back to the others. He couldn't be sure if he was more carrying Claude because the boy felt light as a feather. </p><p>The other Golden Deer were clustered together and had been watching from a safe distance. Claude rejoined them and seemed ready for something. Oh...he probably expected they were going to be angry. Tired and sore as they all were, they were young and inexperienced, and might lash out, play blame games.</p><p>Lorenz opened his mouth to do just that - or perhaps ask questions. He wasn't a bad boy, just an opinionated one. But now wasn't the time for opinions.</p><p>"It's done." Jorah said, holding up his hand for silence. "We have all had a long enough day. Let's just head back to the monastery. Lessons learned for us all, and no need to beat ourselves or each other up over it. Head back to the monastery. Anyone injured, check in with Manuela. I will see you all for class on Monday and <i>then</i> we can discuss this with cooler heads."</p><p>Jorah finished saying all of that and the team had just tiredly nodded and started setting off for home. That was when the recoil hit. Jorah listed sideways and collapsed, the world when dark as all the pain and effects of bloodloss hit at once. </p><p>He had definitely imagined the cry when he fell,the one that had sounded indistinctly like a favorite fond nickname. There would be no more of that after today. He'd already lost that person. He would have to get up and get back to work quickly after this. When things stopped being dark anyway.</p><p>Jorah could not afford to lose the rest of them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Claude is goin through it and needs to swear</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning for lots of emotions. I cried writing this one</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>
    <b>”TEACH!”</b>
  </i>
</p><p>Please not this, this wasn’t what he wanted. He didn’t mean for this to happen. </p><p><i>”Teach...Jorah...please wake up.”</i> </p><p>He didn’t mean it, please, this couldn’t be how it ended. Don’t let him be dead from a mistake like this. </p><p>Please...someone help...</p><p>
  <i>”Claude, get out of my way! I’ll deal with this!”</i>
</p><p>Yes, someone please deal with this. He was useless. He couldn’t. This was his fault. His fault. </p><p>
  <i>”Some House Leader. What were you thinking? Are you a complete idiot?”</i>
</p><p>Claude woke with a start, a moment from falling out of bed or hitting his head. With a swift motion, he righted himself and rolled over. His sheets were in a tangled mess and so was his head.</p><p>Everything had been wrong since that day. Everything had been wrong since that talk, since Seteth had decided to stick his nose where it didn’t belong. Everything had been wrong when it had been going so well. </p><p>Claude had come to the Officer’s Academy with some level of trepidation, with the knowledge that he was going to always have to be on his guard about how others saw him. They could see him as a clown, as lazy, as a schemer, but no one was ever allowed to see he was afraid. They weren’t allowed to know how deeply he wanted to be loved and accepted or it’d be used against him. A fake smile and an easy manner hid many flaws and smoothed past rough edges so well. To feel like somebody actually got what he was going for, like somebody actually understood him,that was out of the question.</p><p>Then, he'd found that. Someone who didn't just seem to understand but actively encouraged Claude to be himself. It made him feel free, feel safe, feel...wanted. it made him feel like he wasn't outside alone anymore.</p><p>He hadn't quite realized it at first but he'd started to pick out some traits that told him a lot about Jorah. The habit of shifting to other people's energy, the tendency to be more forgiving of certain things and the willingness to do extra work to include someone. It felt familiar but it had taken a few weeks to really hit home. He was seeing behaviors that all hinted at a certain awareness of how one was perceived and at having been the odd one out. Claude didn't know the exact reasons, but he could tell Jorah was doing something similar to what he himself was.</p><p>There was a distinction in being fake and being careful what very real parts of yourself show. Sure, some aspects needed to be played up to suit the situation, but it didn't make you a false person. Usually, Claude dealt with either people who bought what he presented on the surface or people who thought they saw everything beyond and immediately distrusted him for having anything beyond. He didn't like it but it was how things were, so he protected himself from them too.</p><p>When he and Jorah interacted, they reached a rare understanding. To be seen through and not be distrusted for it. The lack of distrust let them see deeper and let each other in. They were playing the same game and recognized it in each other, without ever speaking about it and it just made things better. It takes one to know one held true. And to be seen, to be known, to be accepted was powerful.</p><p>Deep beneath everything else, Claude wanted to be cared about. To be able to show affection and receive it in return. To be accepted and also to find someone equally affectionate, happy to give positive attention without certain expectations? It was wonderful. </p><p>And someone had to rip that away from him. </p><p>For what? Some perception that they were being inappropriate? That he was being favored above his classmates and not going to get taught? Did he just catch that Claude had a tiny crush on Jorah? Was Seteth the feelings police? Did the Goddess forbid having a little bit of a fondness for a boy only a little older than him who seemed to have his life together? It's not like he was going to abandon his own education or Jorah give up his job for stupid reasons. They just liked each other's company!!</p><p>It made Claude angry, of course it did, but worse than that it just hurt. Because it wasn't even done maliciously. Something harmless that had made him happy had been pulled from his grasp because of some well meaning but out of touch bullshit.</p><p>If it were anyone else, Claude would have maybe argued more. But he had seen how it was upsetting Jorah just to tell him, that fighting would only make it worse. Claude could not justify choosing his desire to cuddle and be close over someone else's livelihood. That was too selfish for him.</p><p>Claude made an undignified snort and buried his face in his pillow. </p><p>Of course, <i>that</i> was too selfish but how he'd acted otherwise wasn't? How lovely. He had such a good set of morals didn't he?</p><p>Because even though he knew it wasn't maliciously intended, and also knew it wasn't Jorah's fault, Claude was hurt and had still taken it out on Jorah in the end. On him and indirectly on his classmates.</p><p>At first, he had tried to behave, to act professional. No need to lose the class a teacher who was really committed and cared just because Claude was upset. He tried to keep up with his work, tried to keep his proper distance instead of draping himself across Jorah like he wanted, tried his best. He couldn't help if some folks could see he was less enthusiastic at times - Claude's energy was as limited as anyone else's and it was hard to keep up the act. It was especially hard because that free communication and affection helped energize him for other things so without it…</p><p>Without it he felt like he'd been dropped back lower than he'd been before. Claude had crawled his way up to the level of emotional control and stability he'd been at and now he felt like he had lost progress. Because he'd been given something that had been lacking in his life, something he'd been able to endure without having before only because he didn't understand what he was missing. Now he'd tasted fruit that spoke all the promises of his dreams, and to wake from it left him empty.</p><p>So yes, he'd been a little down! He still did his work, still tried to smile, still went to class where he was stuck facing exactly what he was longing for but denied, he'd still... he'd still</p><p>Claude would still have moments of weakness. Where he'd want to forget everything else and just talk to Jorah, happily go on a delighted ramble with his Teach through whatever subject they had found an interesting path to. Moments of weakness where he'd want to lean in closer and hope or expect to get his hair ruffles or a playful tap or poke. Just aching for some little sign he was still wanted and cared about, that he was still good enough. </p><p>He'd remember himself and pull back, hide the desire for affection starting to escape. Secure the mask and behave. He could be good! He wasn't unworthy! Don't send him away just because he was weak and wanted to be cared about!</p><p>Claude was extremely afraid of that. Or of suddenly doing worse because they couldn't understand each other anymore. He was afraid if he couldn't keep back he'd lose Jorah completely and any connection they shared. If he didn't prove he was worthy even when denied what helped them work together the best, no one would ever see that he deserved to have it back. </p><p>And in turn, it made him resent Jorah just a little. Rationally he knew why it had to be this way but that didn't stop him from feeling abandoned. Like his Professor hadn't even fought for what they had. </p><p>His mind was stupid and irrational and he hated it. </p><p>His dreams right now were direct, frightening and vivid. Claude was used to nightmares, to sleep being when his visions of a grand future were supplanted by imagined scenarios where he was chased off by a mob, or when old memories haunted him, backed by a choir of voices proclaiming his every flaw. Usually the dreams were of his own injuries at the hands of others and their words against him. This was surprisingly worse. Someone else being the one hurt in his dreams was a different kind of pain.</p><p>Claude had known he was in the wrong to go ahead without approval, against the objections of the person actually in charge. He'd known it was wrong but he'd done it anyway. He'd acted foolish and selfish and petty. He had just wanted to prove he was good enough, that he was worthy of the trust he'd been given. </p><p>It made him sick recalling the words he'd thrown in Jorah's face. They didn't need to be coddled. He'd said it because that's what Seteth had suggested was part of why they shouldn't be so close. A petty irrational part of him thought that if he was going to be held back anyway, he'd rather have the affection with it.</p><p>But it wasn't true and he knew it - Seteth was just older and set in his ways so had taken the possibility of a Professor being close friends with his students to be a bad thing. Jorah wasn't babying them, he was being practical and cautious like someone in charge of their lives was supposed to. It was his job to get them through this in one piece as well as teach, and that's what he'd tried to do. Claude was the one who fucked up.</p><p>Looking back, he could point out so many things he'd missed. That the vantage point he'd wanted was only useful if he had enough arrows to use it well. That if there were enemies he couldn't see - and there were - then he easily could be falling into a trap rather than getting a tactical advantage. That those in favor of his plan were notably Raphael - who should not be relied on for tactical decisions - and Lysithea - who's zest to move ahead could blind her to plenty of things. That he'd never had to kill in these numbers before that day and the person he was speaking to had been raised by mercenaries. That...that…</p><p>No matter how he looked at it, Claude had ruined everything. He'd gotten exactly what he wanted - but as with so many small wishes, it came at a price. </p><p>The Golden Deer had completed their first mission - at the cost of several unnecessary injuries. He'd gotten to try his idea - and utterly destroyed the faith of both his class and himself in his planning ability. He'd said something clever and biting - and had been needlessly cruel to someone who had been good to him. He'd wanted to see his Teach fight - and that fighting had been to keep him from getting killed. He'd avoided being yelled at for his failures - and had instead had to watch the person who protected him fall. </p><p> It had been bad enough being surrounded and overwhelmed by enemies. To be trapped, helpless, without a ready weapon and alone. The others had had to retreat - and he wouldn't have blamed them if they just left him, not then. He'd been looking for his sword and hearing every scolding from his his family, from Judith, from Nader, over trying to lean on one weapon too hard. He had felt small and weak, he'd felt like prey.</p><p>Then out of nowhere, there was Jorah. Confident, powerful. In that fight he had no mask hiding his feelings, a passionate rage upon his face, beautiful and terrifying at once. His fighting was both wild and graceful, moving through hits as if his enemies were nothing. Claude couldn't look away, watching with wonder. </p><p>He should have known it was too good to be true. </p><p>Claude had been so happy, so excited knowing Jorah had come to help him, hadn't left him behind. Claude had just wanted to prove himself and had failed, but his Teach hadn't given up on him. It filled him with hope but also worry that that anger - very rightly - was going to be turned on him next.</p><p>Then the fight ended and Jorah... didn't look angry anymore. Claude had looked up at him coming nearer and waited for the lecture, the harsh critique, for anything. It frightened him a little how...empty he seemed. How his normally very emotive Professor just looked so blank.</p><p>He'd pulled Claude up and Claude couldn't find it in himself to protest. His legs felt like jelly. Jorah had been so careful looking him over. From such power to such gentleness. Claude had flinched away from a touch to his face - wiping a blood smear or something - because he suddenly feared he was going to lean right into that touch and beg to be held. He didn't have the right to ask that just then. </p><p>They'd walked back and Claude thought perhaps this was why Jorah hadn't scolded him yet. He was going to do it in front of the others. Well, Claude deserved it. They were probably gearing up for their own lectures anyway. The Golden Deer were not a house to keep their feelings contained.</p><p>He had seen them ahead and could already pick out exactly who had words. Lorenz was readying for his dream come true - definitive proof that he was better and Claude was a failure as House Leader. Leonie looked pissed and she'd been waiting around for them a while. Lysithea was conscious again and looking irritable. Hilda looked livid, and as the closest he had to a best friend, that was the worst for Claude. At least out of them.</p><p>He was afraid, so afraid, of the disappointment, anger, whatever he would see from Jorah. This strange emptiness in his teacher's face, this emotionally drained state was very unnerving. Claude expected all of them to yell at him, though he wished they wouldn't - he was already berating himself enough for this. Instead, Jorah had just told them to go back to the school and try to recover. To put it aside and let their emotions cool. He wondered if anyone actually would...and then a distraction hit hard.</p><p>One moment Jorah had released his elbow, let the pathetic little deer walk away in shame. The next he'd been falling. Claude had seen it first in Hilda's face turning from anger to surprise and had turned around in time to watch Jorah fall. Claude hadn't been able to keep from crying out, or from immediately falling to his knees to check on him.</p><p>Claude was not prepared for what it would be like to touch his Professor to try to wake him, and find his own hands now covered in blood. To feel him cold and unconscious beneath his hands and not knowing it was death or sleep. Claude was shaking too hard to be able to check his pulse and screaming in his mind about how wrong everything went. Begging for this situation to be undone. He didn't know how much he said aloud and how much he just thought it.</p><p>Lysithea had thrown him aside - very easy to do with her drive and him being made of jelly - and begun to cast one of her few healing spells. Marianne was likely still exhausted but Lysithea could pull out a few heals when out of combat. </p><p>Lorenz had started in on his speech but Claude had simply nodded. He couldn't remember if it was Marianne or Hilda who reminded Lorenz they were told not to, and he'd shut up with an admission there'd been enough defying their Professor for the day. One last jab but Claude had earned it.</p><p>He'd spent the weekend sneaking around the infirmary. Sneaking around because Manuela had thrown him out for hovering and pacing and being so frantic. Claude would have had to hide himself eventually anyway if Jorah woke up - which he did in time. Claude wasn't ready to properly face him yet, even if he was worried. </p><p>The weekend was over now and it was the early hours of the morning. Claude should be getting up for class and he remembered, with a hollow laugh, Jorah saying he would see them for class on Monday. Claude had no idea when he'd see them for class again. </p><p>He was exhausted and miserable and didn't feel like dealing with Manuela or any substitute so ultimately decided to skip class. He was in trouble anyway, what was a bit more. </p><p>Claude curled in on himself and tried to go back to sleep. He just wanted his Teach back. Even if it was at a distance, anything was better than him being completely gone. </p><p>Hours later, he was woken again by a pounding at his door. </p><p>"You'd better open up, Claude! I'm not kicking a door down and this is the one thing I have to do today!!" </p><p>Hilda had probably been knocking a while to be at this volume and temper. Claude dragged himself out of bed and looked in the mirror quickly. It took a moment to tousle his hair so it looked right, and smack his cheeks so he could look awake and cheeky not haggard and upset. </p><p>He opened the door and gave her a lazy grin. "Hello Hilda, lovely to see you." He tried to play around to make the facade feel less weak.</p><p>Hilda just pushed past him into the room. "Let me in, I have to give you this stuff then I can go."</p><p>Claude closed the door, "How good of you to bring me whatever I missed. Who did we have substituting and how did they bribe you?" He guessed perhaps it was Tate following her brother's system for them. Hilda had a daily requirement to participate in some fashion and this had been today's apparently.</p><p>Hilda fidgeted and huffed, "We didn't have a sub."</p><p>Claude blinked. "Huh?"</p><p>"We didn't have a sub. Our Professor was teaching today."</p><p>Here, Claude's eyes narrowed. "Very funny. Hilda, we both saw what condition he was in. He was confined to the infirmary."</p><p>"I know that!" Hilda made a dramatic gesture with her hands, "But he still taught our class! It was weird! He was still bandaged up and he moved slow for everything and actually sat in his chair several times. His sister walked him back to the infirmary after class!!"</p><p>Claude plopped back on his bed and just stared. </p><p>Why. Why would he be teaching today? Why would he have dragged himself to class in that state? It's not like the Church wouldn't let him take a day or a week off for being injured doing his job. </p><p>Claude worked to steady himself from the multitude of overwhelming feelings. He was stuck between the horror at the thought of their Professor trying to teach in such a state, and cursing himself for skipping. Because he may not be ready to face Jorah but he also didn't want Jorah to think he was avoiding the consequences of his bad decisions.</p><p>Finally he managed to speak, "Did he say anything about...Did he have any assignments? How did he seem?" Claude struggled against himself then added, "Did he say anything about me being absent?"</p><p>Hilda gave a weird look like she was trying to swallow a tiny portion of lemon without showing it to win a bet. </p><p>"He didn't mention it... just sort of...I dunno. He looked like he was sad you weren't there but he expected it?" </p><p>Ouch. Claude winced. He didn't want Jorah to think he was so defiant now he wouldn't even show up. He'd have to remedy that. </p><p>Hilda continued, unaware of him. "No I thought he was going to mention you when he talked about what happened but he didn't."</p><p>"What'd he say?"</p><p>Here, Hilda looked uncomfortable. </p><p>"...he apologized. Said it was caused by oversights in his teaching that left openings for worse to happen. Said he won't let it happen again…"</p><p>They exchanged a look. Claude felt awful. This was definitely not on their teacher so why was he apologizing?</p><p>"So what did he have you bring me?" Claude asked to ease the conversation.</p><p>"Oh. He gave us the times and location to meet tomorrow for class. We're doing some more practicals that he thinks is going to make up for whatever he thinks he didn't teach us right. We're not having our usual lessons because of it. He was pretty set on it. I think he's worried about how bad things went."</p><p>"Can't say I blame him." Claude rubbed the back of his neck. </p><p>"Anyway the only time he mentioned you was to say I could have my participation point for today if I came and told you the time. Ignatz copied you notes too so I brought them."</p><p>Claude felt like his heart was growing heavier by the minute but talking to Hilda further would be no help so he just nodded numbly.</p><p>"Thanks. I'll be there for it then. Just leave the notes and such. Now I'm up I should probably grab some food." </p><p>"Yeah probably. See you, Claude." Hilda was happy to be done her task and left the items on his desk before flitting out. </p><p>Claude didn't go eat. He went to freshen up in his private washroom - ah the benefits of being in the 'noble' section of dorms. After that, he headed out. Food wasn't really in his thoughts at present. No, Claude needed to go sneak into the infirmary again. </p><p>If Jorah was up and had returned there after class, it was where he would be for Claude to apologize to. He wasn't looking forward to it, but he needed to do it. He couldn't stand hurting his Teach any more than he already had.</p><p>Claude was glad he was getting skilled enough at sneaking in here that he could hide himself pretty immediately. He wanted to talk to Jorah alone but found he was with his sister - and another visitor.</p><p>"I was sorry to hear of your injuries but I am pleased your class completed their mission and returned in one piece. I trust you will be making the efforts to remedy whatever led to this situation - when you are recovered, of course." </p><p>Seteth, the absolute last person Claude wanted to see right now. He was still extremely angry and upset at Seteth for causing this to begin with and if he'd said the wrong thing to Jorah right now, Claude would have snapped at him. It wasn't his fault things had gone so badly!!!</p><p>"Yes. I have already assessed where I went wrong in preparing my class for this and have plans to correct." </p><p>Claude felt chills just hearing Jorah speak. So quiet, so shaky, he got what Hilda meant about how he must've sounded teaching. Like their beloved Professor was drained of all his vibrancy. Knowing it was his fault made it worse for Claude. </p><p>Seteth was quiet then spoke up again. "I may know something else that may help with your present situation with your class." He sounded conflicted but Claude was wary. Seteth had already interfered with them enough already, hadn't he?</p><p>"I believe I owe you an apology." Seteth continued and Claude's entire train of thought was lost. </p><p>"For what?" Jorah seemed confused.</p><p>"I may have been...too hasty in my judgements and gave ill-chosen advice." </p><p>Claude stayed pressed against the wall he was hiding near but felt like his own breathing had stopped now, just listening. </p><p>"Your sister as well as several students - both those in your House and the other two House Leaders - came to speak to me about their concerns for both your well-being and that of your House Leader." Seteth was not the sort who apologized much it seemed but he was at least committed to it apparently, "I admit I had noticed it myself, though it took Flayn pointing it out to fully comprehend."</p><p>Dimitri and Edelgard had said something? Claude wasn't sure how he felt about it. Flames, he didn't even know which of his own house would say anything?</p><p>"Which of my students spoke to you? I didn't think I'd mentioned anything…" Jorah seemed just as confused.</p><p>"I believe Miss Goneril heard it from Mister von Riegan himself and Miss von Edmund heard it from her." </p><p>"Did Hilda drag Marianne with her to speak to you?" Jorah was definitely surprised. Claude couldn't blame him - Hilda usually called on Marianne to back her up but not to the point of facing Seteth.</p><p>"I believe it was the other way around, actually. Miss von Edmund did most of the speaking but seemed to have brought Miss Goneril for support. As for Miss Lysithea von Ordelia and Mister Gloucester, I am not sure either knew of my personal involvement but felt I would be best to look into the matter. I imagine if this persists too long, I will be seeing Miss Pinelli, Mister Victor and Mister Kirsten as well. Your House seems very fond of you and of Mister von Riegan." </p><p>Claude was surprised at this but also moved. His classmates had seen something was wrong and had tried to help. It may have even been effective which, if so, he'd be eternally grateful for.</p><p>He nearly jumped when he heard Tate speak. He'd forgotten she was present. "What did Flayn say?" Getting Seteth back on topic.</p><p>"She… observed that you both seemed so sad, like a flower wilting without sunlight. I took it to heart and tried to reassess my prior judgements." Seteth sounded so awkward about this but firm. "Your performance and that of your House Leader has notably slipped since our conversation. And on looking back, your arrival saw a marked improvement in the Golden Deer House's performance but especially Mister von Riegan's. I can only conclude that I was wrong in advising you against your interactions. I have caused you both undue suffering and for that, I am sorry."</p><p>Claude could not believe what he was hearing. Seteth was apologizing for it. Admitting they weren't wrong. That perhaps he and Jorah could have back everything that had been between them? It felt too good to be true.</p><p>Tate spoke up again, "So affection is no longer forbidden?"</p><p>"It was never-" Seteth protested then sighed. "I see your point. Yes, as long as you maintain behaviors appropriate for public spaces and maintain relationships suitable to colleagues, friends and family, you may resume being affectionate. Romantic relationships are still off the table with students while they are under your care, but I now see the value in allowing you both to form more personal connections to your students."</p><p>Seteth cleared his throat, "Now I have taken enough of your time. You should rest. Good evening, Professors." His crisp boots could be heard striding out of the room.</p><p>Claude was shocked but elated. They could have it back, they could be close again! He could go lean on Jorah again and just talk to him. When he was better, anyway. But it was allowed now!</p><p>"I thought you would be pleased. You don't seem very happy…" Tate's observation snapped Claude out of his internal revelry.</p><p>"It's already too late…" </p><p>The quiet, broken voice was a punch to Claude's gut. </p><p>No! No, please, why was it too late? What was wrong? They could have each other close again and-</p><p>All at once he recalled that day again. This was it, this was his punishment for being too reckless, for his defiance, wasn't it? Jorah didn't want their connection back. Claude couldn't blame him but it hurt so much. </p><p>"Too late?" He dreaded hearing the answer to her simple words. Did she know how bad Claude had fucked up? That he'd been the reason her brother was so injured?</p><p>"... I've already lost him…" </p><p>The sad way he was speaking, those words...it didn't sound like anger, like he didn't want them to be close anymore. If anything it sounded like…</p><p>"Why do you think that? He is still here."</p><p>"You don't understand, Tatey. He...I fucked up, he doesn't trust my judgement anymore, it's why everything went wrong. I haven't seen him all weekend, everyone else visited... He didn't even come to class today." The shake to his voice, the way he was rambling, it was all wrong. This shouldn't be.</p><p>"Perhaps he is upset for you being harmed? Or visited when you could not see?" </p><p>
  <i>"He called me <b>Professor</b>."</i>
</p><p>Claude felt like time had stopped. At the time, he hadn't considered that of any significance in the long run. He'd been being petty and nasty, calling back to what Seteth said, and had chosen to call him Professor as a pointed emphasis that he was unhappy with him. Just a little bratty thing because he was mad. </p><p>Had it meant so much to Jorah? To hit him with something already a sore spot...to defy him that way...to also take back a tiny show of fondness they still had...of course it had felt like a complete rejection. Claude had acted as if he wanted no further ties to him, like he didn't respect him, like that bridge was burnt. </p><p><i>Oh.</i> This was his real punishment for that day. To know that someone he cared so deeply for...felt he had rejected him utterly. That they were nothing now. Claude was torn between the desperate need to be close to Jorah again, to make this right, and the feeling that he didn't deserve to ever see him again.</p><p>Time hadn't really stopped and while Claude was reeling, Tate had been deciding what to say next.</p><p>"Why attend classes like this? Manuela could handle them. Or I could."</p><p>"I can't...I can't lose the rest of them too." Jorah sounded so hurt, so desperate and broken here. "I need to keep going or I…"</p><p>No. No Claude could not take this. His guilt and desire to run was nothing compared to how deeply he needed to be close to Jorah again right now. They had been too far apart and hadn't understood each other enough. He needed to fix this.</p><p>Claude stumbled from his hiding spot to the bed, not really composed at all but not caring. If he hadn't already been moving, seeing Jorah with his head against his knees that way would have made him move. He fell a little heavily onto the floor by the bed, on his knees and scrabbling to get ahold of his teacher's hand. He didn't dare just hug him, not with how hurt he was.</p><p>"I'm here. I'm here, you haven't lost me. Please, don't say that, Teach." </p><p>A pair of strong hands hauled Claude up from the floor by the back of his clothes and deposited him into Jorah's arms, who seemed hesitant about wrapping them around Claude. </p><p>"I am going to find Professor Manuela and invite her to dinner." Tate said plainly and exited the room. </p><p>Claude buried his face against Jorah's front and wrapped his arms around him. He clung as much as he felt he could safely and only started to relax when he felt the embrace returned. He was breathing heavy and probably crying, but he trusted his Professor wouldn't share that with others. </p><p>Jorah pulled him closer and at last pressed his face into Claude, his shoulders shaking as he held him near. </p><p>"You haven't lost me, you haven't, I promise. I was being stupid. I thought you didn't trust me and I could prove myself. I just wanted to be good enough that we could have this back." Claude babbled into Jorah's front. "I was just being a brat, calling you that. I was angry and childish and wanted to show it but I didn't think it would hurt you like that." </p><p>"I thought you hated me. I thought you were afraid of me. You flinched away from my hand when I touched you." The quiet shuddering way of speaking was so much more visceral up close, but tempered because Claude could squeeze him tighter.</p><p>"I was afraid you were upset at me but I didn't think you'd hurt me. I wanted it...I wanted to lean into your hand or just ask to be held. I was so scared after that fight and upset at myself and I knew everyone was upset at me, and you probably were too." Claude rested his cheek on Jorah's collarbone so he could look up at him more. "The rest of the class can tell you, I very pathetically screamed for you when you passed out."</p><p>Jorah blinked at him slowly and then his cheeks colored. "Oh I thought I imagined that." He gave a lopsided little smile.</p><p>"Teach, nooo, it was really embarrassing. I don't even know how much of a mess I was or what all I said, I was so damn worried about you."</p><p>Jorah shifted a bit, moving Claude out of place, so he could lean down and press their foreheads together. </p><p>"I was worried about you too. And I do have every faith in you but I don't want you to be hurt or trapped without backup."</p><p>"I don't know if you should have faith in me after that." Claude admitted with a sheepish smile, but he was transfixed by how he could see himself in those deep green eyes. It was a little weird to notice, but he thought they'd been a darker shade before.</p><p>"It was a mistake. A dangerous and costly one, but a mistake. I should have done more to stop you." Jorah shook his head and pet Claude's cheek. </p><p>Claude leaned into the touch like he was starving for it and closed his eyes. "I missed this so much." </p><p>"I did too." Jorah admitted, and continued to stroke his face, almost reverently in how tender it was. "It felt like I was talking to you through a wall that whole time."</p><p>"That was miserable, can we never do that again?" Claude curled up against Jorah's side, resting his head on his chest again. He was starting to feel so heavy and tired with relief.</p><p>"I'd prefer that. I'd also prefer to be able to sleep. I've been anxious about you since I woke up." Jorah gave a low chuckle that reverberated through him like a purr. </p><p>"You and me both." Claude closed his eyes again and snuggled up. "Are you still planning to teach tomorrow?"</p><p>"Yes but I'll take it easy, I promise." </p><p>"You better. I'll make you." Claude smiled and yawned, settling in to rest. Manuela could throw him out later, he was getting to cuddle and sleep now.</p><p>"I look forward to it." Jorah kept his arms around Claude and soon enough their breathing evened out and both fell asleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. A Conversation in the Mind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Italics with -- before and after are Sothis when they aren't "conversing" properly. I needed a way to make that distinct from thoughts or memory dialogue.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The mists covered everything, and all around her, students were falling. She’d lost sight of that glowing orange Catherine gave off in the darkness. Everyone was fading with cries and whimpers as they were struck down by opponents. </p><p>
  <i>--A battle…?--</i>
</p><p>Then she was alone in front of an old Lord, broken and angry over his child having been killed by the church. In her ears Ashe begged her not to, that this was a good man, why would he do this? Behind her, Lady Rhea loomed, stating with those frightening fiery eyes that those who defied the Church would be dealt with, and the students must learn it too.</p><p>
  <i>--She was quite scary like that…--</i>
</p><p>Then the Ashe she had been hearing was before her, and falling to his dear guardian, and the world changed colors as she desperately tried to wind back time. But it wasn’t enough, it was never enough, she could only do it so many times and they would all be gone!</p><p>
  <i>
    <b>--Enough!--</b>
  </i>
</p><p>Tate awoke with a start. </p><p><i>-- You were having a nightmare.--</i> Sothis’s voice was now audible without the sounds of the dream to distract her from it. </p><p><i>Was I?</i> Tate tended to be slower and more stupid in her initial responses to Sothis, much to her companion’s irritation.</p><p><i>--Yes! I would not have said you were if you were not. Why do you ask me such foolish questions?--</i> </p><p>Why did she ask them? </p><p>Well, the truth was that Tate didn’t know what to say most of the time when Sothis spoke. It wasn’t a complete surprise anymore but it was still unfamiliar and jarring. Tate’s mind had always been an empty landscape of her feelings that took energy she didn’t have to explore and no ability to express anyway. </p><p>The only one who’d ever had access to her mind before, besides Tate herself, was Jorah. If he were in contact with her, he could hear her thoughts and glean more of what she was feeling. In turn, Tate could hear his and feel the rolling waves of emotions that were always churning within him. He was gentle about it and tried not to touch her more than she was comfortable with, tried to keep his feelings under control for her benefit, and to express things for her that she was struggling with, but they intentionally kept that sort of contact to a minimum. He wanted her to have her privacy and freedom.</p><p>To now have someone else in her head who expressed A LOT and wanted her to cater to that person’s interests and whims. It was very frustrating. Tate had worked very hard to learn that frustration was a very common feeling for her and identifying it had been an achievement. It meant she also recognized Sothis was frequently frustrated with her as well, and it was upsetting. She was doing her best!</p><p>It seemed, at least, this silent tangle of thoughts and feelings had had some clear meaning to Sothis, who calmed down some.</p><p>
  <i>--I see. You are trying to give me a response but do not know what to say yet. I must recall that I just woke you up. I apologize.--</i>
</p><p>Tate nodded internally, now settled into picturing the throne she sat before that Sothis was resting on. They were on some green stone dais that the throne sat upon, but for the life of her, Tate could not picture the rest of the room. At least when they were like this, Tate could imagine they were talking, rather than Sothis being a disembodied voice. She rather thought Sothis liked that too.</p><p>“I do like it. It makes me feel less...trapped.” Sothis agreed, floating down from her throne to sit on the floor beside Tate. “Nor can I properly picture what this room should look like. But I know I have been here before and it is mine.”</p><p>“Perhaps Lady Rhea will mysteriously mention it to us while pretending it’s not scary.” Tate suggested plainly.</p><p>Sothis laughed, “You dislike her, do you?”</p><p>“No.” Tate looked distantly. It wasn’t dislike, exactly. She’d felt that already, that one was becoming familiar. </p><p>“You fear her?” Sothis tried, peering at Tate intently. “She did feature heavily in your dream.”</p><p>“She makes me...uncomfortable.” Tate said at last, giving up. </p><p>“The way Edelgard makes you uncomfortable? You do seem to favor pretty girls.” Sothis was teasing her this time and smiled. She seemed to enjoy being catty and chatting gossip when she had the time.</p><p>Tate reached out and pushed her a little. “Edelgard does not make me uncomfortable. She makes me feel nice. Warm. It’s different.”</p><p>“I know, I know. The Archbishop is not the sort of ‘pretty girl’ you would like that way as it is. You also do not see Professor Manuela that way. I am learning your tastes.” Sothis seemed proud of the ability to learn how to read Tate.</p><p>“You are?” Tate had not quite begun learning the differences in how she liked some people yet. She liked many of these students, but certainly not all in the same ways. It was all a very new experience for Tate.</p><p>“Yes. First of all, you like girls closer to your own age. Mature pretty girls. I have seen you take notice of Edelgard and Dorothea the most, but you also seem to rather like Mercedes and Marianne.” Sothis explained all this proudly, standing and walking about as images of each of these girls materialized. </p><p>“Mercedes is a little older.” Tate observed, then nodded, “I like them. But I do not dislike others! They are very nice.”</p><p>“They’re not your type. People have preferences, little Potato.” Sothis nodded sagely, though Tate imagined she didn’t completely understand either. She was probably just bored and wanted to let Tate relax after her nightmare. </p><p>“Is it ok to like them?” Tate asked, hugging her knees and giving a small pout. “Should I be looking at grown women more instead? As a Professor?” </p><p>Sothis put her hands on her hips. “Did that title suddenly make you an adult? Of course not. You are but a child, and so are they. You have not even learned to fancy anything beyond sharing tea and company and thinking they are pretty. Don’t be absurd.” </p><p>“I’ve never really liked anyone before.” Tate admitted. “Liked or like liked.”</p><p>“I believe it is called a ‘crush’.” </p><p>“Why? I do not want to crush them.” Tate asked that one with a small smile behind her knees.</p><p>“Have you been spending too much time with Petra again? Do not ask me silly questions. You know it is a turn of phrase!” Sothis smacked Tate’s arms. “It has to do with the crushing feeling in your chest or something akin to that!” </p><p>“I don’t feel crushed in my chest, it feels warm and nice.” Tate offered, a teeny smile forming as she put up her arms to block Sothis’s ‘blows’. </p><p>“Horrible, rude child you are! Teasing me when I am trying to comfort you!” Sothis stuck her tongue out at Tate. </p><p>Tate laughed and kept her arms up, eventually managing to settle down. “Thank you.”</p><p>“For hitting you?! Fool girl, what are you saying?” Sothis narrowed her eyes.</p><p>Tate shook her head. “For trying to help.”</p><p>Once more, the little dream girl’s face softened and she sighed. “Ah well. I did not wish you to suffer in your sleep. You have enough to do when you are awake...but tell me. Do you fear my power so much?”</p><p>“Fear it?” This Tate blinked at, confused. No, she didn’t fear Sothis or her power. It was helpful.</p><p>“In your dream, you used my power to turn back time in the battles. You were very distressed by it. Does it upset you so much? Is this why you barely use what I have given you?” </p><p>Tate felt ashamed here - she was still learning that emotion but it sounded right. “I do not fear it.” She repeated. </p><p>“Then what is it?” Sothis took a seat again to peer at her.</p><p>“I do not want to rely on it too much. I do not want to exhaust you...or to be unable to win if I cannot use your strength. I do not want...do not want to lose them.” Tate admitted and the fear that had crept up on her returned. There were so many people she didn’t want to see harmed or didn’t want disappointed in her. Why did everything have to be so complicated? </p><p>“You care about them so much.”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“That’s very new for you isn’t it? To care at all?”</p><p>Tate shook her head. “I cared for my father, for my brother, for those in our band. It is so many at once that is new. To want them all happy and safe. To not want to disappoint people, to not want to be disliked…”</p><p>“Is that why you say you are uncomfortable around the Archbishop? You do not want to disappoint her?” Sothis seemed to be trying to reason out both of their feelings on that person.</p><p>“No. She makes me feel weird.” Tate shook her head. “My father decided everything before. He told me where we would go, what we would do. It was always for us, and he decided because he was my father and thought it was best. Now she decides...but I do not know what she wants of me.” </p><p>“It is strange. Why give a teaching position to someone who has never taught, against the advice of someone more experienced? She places so much trust in you but I cannot fathom why. Your skills are not enough to justify it, not when she already has agents like Catherine at her side.” </p><p>“I do not know, and it upsets me. They see it too and they are bothered. Catherine wants to ‘watch’ me to see how I gain Lady Rhea’s attention. Seteth distrusts me. Cyril is bothered by my presence. I don’t want her attention, I never asked for it. I did not ask for this position, but I am judged as if I am not up to the standards of it.” </p><p>Tate pulled at her hair. The responsibility was overwhelming, as was the judgement. </p><p>“I don’t like having to make a student choose between their family and what’s right or making them choose and not even being sure if it IS right. Especially when all Lady Rhea seemed to care about is how strong the Church looks not about people being hurt.” </p><p>Sothis was quiet for a while but eventually came to sit by her again. “Ashe was very affected by this. You didn’t take him into battle but you still worry about him being hurt by it?”</p><p>“Even if he’s not in the battle, I still had to kill his guardian. Even if what his guardian was doing was wrong, I still had to kill someone who had a loving family, who had been a good man once. I’ve been killing my whole life and I’ve never even thought about it and suddenly I am.” </p><p>“Your world is expanding very fast now that you’ve come to the Monastery.” Sothis observed, stroking her arm. “Mine is as well. I have been asleep for so long and I remember so little, but I find how much I already knew every day.”</p><p>“There are so many things going on and it frightens me. And it frightens me how powerful and ruthless the Church is and that it seems to own me now. I do not want to be the sword Lady Rhea uses to make others kneel.” Tate admitted. To have such a jarring thing said to her, by a person she knew so little, it made her queasy and upset. </p><p>Sothis sighed, “It is quite a different side to her than when she wants to be invited to tea and talk casually about things as if she were an old friend of your father’s.” </p><p>“If they were so close, why does he fear her? He left this place and feels he now has to be here now we’ve been found. What power does she have over him?” Tate nodded.</p><p>“You will get no answers by not resting. Now tell me, if you are so unsure of her, what will you do with regards to the threats on her life?” </p><p>“I distrust them.” Tate admitted, “I think she is far too well guarded and the message was obvious bait. I am not sure what I think about it all.” </p><p>“Well, for now you must rest, little one. Tomorrow is a new day and you may consult with others or spend time with your students, or any number of other things. Perhaps there will be more answers if you take the time to seek them around the Monastery.” </p><p>“I hope so.” Tate agreed and let the images fade from her head, opening her eyes blearily to the dark bedroom around her.</p><p>
  <i>Good night, Sothis. And thank you again.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>--You are welcome. Now rest. We have much to do when you wake.--</i>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. A Field Day for our House Leaders</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a beautiful day, that much Dimitri was pretty certain of. Despite the frequent downpours of the Verdant Rain Moon, they had managed to find a beautiful day when the grounds of Garreg Mach weren’t a muddy mess and the students could gather to actually participate in another Field Day of sorts. This was at least the third or fourth that had been held since the Eisner Twins had decided on this plan to let all the classes work together on Tate’s obstacle courses.</p><p>At first, Dimitri had been a little worried this wouldn’t end up happening. When they’d gone to test, things had gone awry with Claude and his Professor, and it had taken a little time for that to be sorted out. Dimitri had been worried to the point of even going to speak to Seteth about it, and had met Edelgard and Tate intending to do the same on his way out. Jorah ending up injured on a mission so soon after with nothing resolved had filled Dimitri with dread.</p><p>And yet, barely a few days after that injury, Claude was back to the happy state he’d been in prior to that incident. Additionally, he’d even clapped Dimitri on the back and said he ‘owed him one’ for having said anything to Seteth about it. He hadn’t been as touchy with Edelgard, but Dimitri had seen him say something to her and his overall good spirits with the other Deer. However small his own contribution had been, Dimitri felt it was well done. There hadn’t been such a spirit of warmth and camaraderie at the school before all of this, and now it felt like it was growing day by day.</p><p>Taking a break from riding, Dimitri leaned back against a tree and caught his breath. He could see various members of the different classes engaged in all sorts of activities together, some fooling around a bit more than training, but all in good spirits. It felt like what really made the day beautiful was the people in it. After the very eventful end to the previous month, he couldn’t say he was really surprised anyone was feeling giddy and social.</p><p>With a tired sigh, Claude flopped into the grass near where Dimitri had settled. “What a day, right?”</p><p>“Indeed.” Dimitri smiled to him and returned to looking out over the other students. </p><p>“I see you’ve both decided on a rest as well.” Edelgard’s voice piped up from Dimitri’s other side and she held out a waterskin to him. Another was tossed lightly onto Claude’s chest. </p><p>“Oof - yes, thanks.” Claude made a mild grumbly noise but didn’t seem to actually object to the water. </p><p>“I’m amazed you’ll drink something I gave you so easily, Claude. Are you slipping up?” Edelgard’s smile was faint but it made her teasing more obvious for what it was.</p><p>“I could see you grabbing it and the entire time as you brought it over here. You’re good, Princess, but you aren’t that good yet.” Claude sipped the water for emphasis.</p><p>“Oh, and what if it were tampered with before I took it from the chest with the others?” Edelgard suggested, but was already sipping her own water.</p><p>“Then we would have bigger problems than simply your desire to get one over on Claude.” Dimitri proposed, also taking a sip of his own water. It wasn’t like he’d be able to tell if it had been tampered with either - unless it dramatically changed the texture, he was useless on that front.</p><p>While it initially got a small laugh from both, quickly all three seemed to recall with some clarity that oh right...they DID have bigger problems. </p><p>“So is there any sort of appropriate forum to discuss...whatever that was last month?” Claude looked up at them both, face more of a confused grimace than his usual smile. </p><p>“There isn’t but we can start by not talking to you while you are lying down.” Edelgard suggested. “Get off the ground and talk to us.”</p><p>“Lie down and talk to me instead, it’s more comfortable.” Claude looked back up to her, expression shifting more to some mild challenge. They could probably keep that up for a while.  </p><p>“I have decided to meet you both in the middle.” Dimitri said and slid down the tree he had been leaning on so he was seated on the grass beside Claude. He stretched out one leg but kept the other bent at the knee before him. </p><p>“If we must compromise, we must.” Edelgard carefully took a seat on the ground, legs folded beside her. Proper posture, even for something so silly. </p><p>Claude made a grumbly sound and pushed himself up, crossing his legs and leaning on one of his palms instead, as if this pose had been his plan the entire time.</p><p>“So which part do you want to talk about first?” Dimitri asked, pleasantly surprised that had worked so...exceedingly well. </p><p>Edelgard seemed to be considering hard - which was no surprise. There was quite a lot to unpack about the day of the Goddess’s Rite of Rebirth. </p><p>After Lord Lonato’s mutiny, there had been a plan to supposedly assassinate Lady Rhea discovered. While the Knights were pushing to keep her safe, the students hadn’t bought it in the slightest. They’d had their own ways of going about it, but all Three Houses had done their part in trying to investigate the actual intended target of the event. Rather than an assassination attempt, it was a diversion to keep the Knights busy for other means. Through their own channels, they’d come to the collective agreement - the actual attack would be on the Holy  Mausoleum and it sure was.</p><p>Down there, they had discovered a ploy by the Eastern Church to steal from the tomb of Saint Seiros. Along for this journey was a strange and horrifying knight in black armor who hadn’t seemed to follow the orders of his accomplices, but had still been an ominous and chilling presence during that whole fight. </p><p>Remembering that knight brought a small smile to Dimitri’s face and he suggested a topic himself. “We could always talk about...that incident with your Professors?” he offered cheerfully.</p><p>He felt like he had never truly understood the magic of teasing one’s friends - were they friends? - quite as powerfully as he did in this moment. Watching Edelgard’s face turn red as she tried to compose the mixture of fondness and frustration was almost as brilliant as watching Claude’s exaggerated sigh and dragging his hands down his face. </p><p>“I cannot BELIEVE that if you put the pair of them together their brains just diminish THAT MUCH!” Claude exclaimed. </p><p>“Truly, I do not even know if it is purely that they were together or the fact that they were intrigued by the prospect.” Edelgard agreed vehemently. </p><p>“It wasn’t all <i>that</i> bad.” Dimitri gave a sheepish smile. </p><p>What had happened was that after seeing the Death Knight, the House Leaders had all been warning their classmates to avoid him, as responsible young student leaders should! He and Edelgard had erred more on the side of ‘he seems powerful, avoid him’ but Claude’s description that the guy was ‘creepy’ was equally apt and useful. This had all been fine...until Dimitri had noticed a small issue.</p><p>Namely, when he’d turned back around he saw both Professors with their weapons drawn, standing one in front of the other and poised to head right in that direction. </p><p>He’d coughed awkwardly and tugged the sleeves of his comrades to get them to handle the situation. Dimitri himself had no knowledge or power over Tate and Jorah.</p><p>Edelgard had turned first but Claude had spoken first. </p><p>“Oh, <i>Teach</i>...really?” He’d sounded so baffled at Jorah and Jorah had at least had the decency to look sheepish about it.</p><p>“I...was definitely not ignoring you and thinking about attacking him immediately?” Jorah had offered, red up to his ears and smiling that way.</p><p>Edelgard had had to say very little. “Professor.” Just that way she had sighed it, and Tate had turned back and her tiny sad almost-pout had been enough that Dimitri was sure if it had been his choice, he’d probably have relented and said ‘do what you want’. Edelgard had merely shaken her head and that had been the end of it.</p><p>“Did you ask them about it at all?” Dimitri tilted his head. </p><p>“I had rather more pressing matters to ask her about.” Edelgard looked away. Then again, she may not want to press too hard on why she had the power to make her Professor do things or not do them based only on a word or a look. That was quite a lot of power to have.</p><p>Claude snorted, “Oh I asked him but Teach had a rather...short answer all things considered.” </p><p>“What was it?” Dimitri and Edelgard both looked over to him, their questions voiced at about the same moment. </p><p>Doing a pretty expectedly accurate impression of Jorah’s body language, Claude gave a wide shrug and tossed his head back, saying, “‘I just viscerally didn’t like and wanted to fight the guy.’”</p><p>Leaning forward to rest his chin on his hand again, Claude’s focus was back on Edelgard. “I take it you DID actually ask Tate about the whole Sword of the Creator thing?” </p><p>“...of course I did. Her response was less than helpful, however.” Edelgard looked at her lap. </p><p>“Is she not being forthcoming?” Claude quirked a brow.</p><p>“I highly doubt that’s the case.” Dimitri shook his head. After all, if anyone could get Tate to talk, it probably would be Edelgard. They frequently went on walks together and seemed to converse and understand each other very well. She may not be as willing to openly indulge Edelgard the way Jorah indulged Claude, but the fondness was there. </p><p>“I believe she lacks the information to provide. I don’t think she knows why Lady Rhea entrusted her with the Sword or why it works for her, even without a Crest Stone.” Edelgard shook her head and looked distantly to where Tate was visibly on the field instructing some of the groups through laps. </p><p>“It seems strange,” Dimitri started, “for the Church to trust such a sacred relic to just anyone, so there must be something behind it. I do not think the Archbishop would place such a trust lightly.” </p><p>“Nor do I, but it puzzles me where the source of this trust is. Is it perhaps due to Captain Jeralt’s influence?” Edelgard’s eyes remained on the other group but she turned her face back towards their little party.</p><p>“No way,” Claude snorted. “Despite what Leonie would have you believe, the Captain isn’t so very special. If he were, she’d have given the Sword to him not his kid, right? Same for the teaching position. Why make him head of the Knights and not fill in the Professor role? He’s known to be capable and experienced. Why the person so obviously barely over the age of the students?”</p><p>“And why one twin and not the other? Is it purely a matter of who was present?” Edelgard added, though that was with a pointed glance back. </p><p>“I think that’s the overall question with them.” Dimitri observed. </p><p>Really, he did feel a little strange about how one of the two new Professors was favored over the other. It was not necessarily due to a fondness for one or the other - he actually found both very skilled and they’d been quite kind to him in their own ways. It was more, he felt strange about such a seemingly pointless favoritism from such a high position of power. There was a difference between having a strong working relationship and close ties to a person you got along extremely well with on a personal level, and whatever this was. There seemed no real rhyme or reason to the connection or lack thereof to the Church. </p><p>Having such a stark view of the Church’s colder or more strange choices was very hard for Dimitri. His faith had suffered greatly after the Tragedy and he had not fully recovered it. To lead the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus, which was so closely tied to the Church, Dimitri had always felt he needed some connection to his faith. He had had some worries about what losing his faith or it being shaken would mean. Had had suspicions of people who had suddenly changed from being devout believers up until a certain point. Had something changed their minds? It frightened him.</p><p>Coming back to himself with a small pinch to his own leg, Dimitri shook off what he could of the feelings and tried to focus again. Edelgard had spoken again, but he hadn’t caught what she said. Thankfully, it hadn’t been directed at him so he would have to glean what her question was from Claude’s answer.</p><p>“I haven’t gotten around to talking to him about it yet but I can promise I will interrogate him thoroughly as soon as I find the right opening for it.” Claude waved her off. </p><p>“That really sounds like a euphemism, Claude.” The smooth tones of Jorah’s voice came from above them and Dimitri looked up to see him leaning against the tree and reaching down to ruffle Claude’s hair. </p><p>“You knew it was coming.” Claude turned and stuck his tongue out at Jorah. </p><p>“Of course I did. I can’t reasonably expect any changes to occur in my life or anywhere in this school without it facing the most in depth scrutiny of Claude von Riegan.” </p><p>Dimitri laughed quietly at the pair. </p><p>“Really, Professor Eisner, you act as if Claude is the only one who notices anything.” Edelgard seemed to be testing her limits with these two and attempting to tease again.</p><p>“Of course not. He’s just the only one I’d face the scrutiny from. Dimitri’s too polite to ask and you’d go directly to my sister.” Jorah punctuated this by reaching down and giving Dimitri a little pat on his head and ruffle of his bangs. It wasn’t as thorough as on of the hair ruffles Claude got, but it still made Dimitri perk up anyway.</p><p>“Well you aren’t wrong.” Edelgard conceded with a nod.</p><p>“Was there something you needed, Teach?” Claude leaned his head back against Jorah’s leg and smiled up at him. </p><p>“I just came to make sure you three were alright and accounted for. I am still a chaperone here, I do have to keep checking up on students.” Jorah didn’t bat an eye at being once more lounged on in some fashion. “If you’re all just resting and keeping each other company, that’s fine and we know where you are.”</p><p>“Bo-ring. At least suspect us of scheming something if you’re going to bother.” Claude suggested. </p><p>“Claude, I don’t think that’s how it works.” Dimitri chuckled.</p><p>“Of course it isn’t. There’s no point in suspecting Claude of schemes - that’s not a suspicion at this point but a confirmed fact.” Edelgard suggested.</p><p>“It’s his favorite word, what can you do.” Jorah gave Claude a light pat on his cheek. Claude seemed to sit up again right as Jorah moved away from them, easily synchronized. </p><p>“Shh, don’t give away all of my secrets, Teach.” Pulling himself up from the ground, Claude stretched. “I had better get back to it, though. I promised Ashe and Ignatz we could practice together and it looks like Ashe is finally free of the other course he was doing.” And in a flash he was dashing off.</p><p>“I must return to my own training as well. It was good taking a break with you both.” Edelgard stood and gave them each a nod before heading away.</p><p>“Are you really trying to keep track of us all?” Dimitri asked, slowly getting to his feet and brushing off his pants.</p><p>“I am. If I’m not being proactive about making the rounds, Seteth is going to worry.” Jorah admitted. </p><p>“Oh? Why is that? I know he’s a little jumpier after what happened last month but I would think he trusts you both well enough?” Dimitri found it odd that Lady Rhea would entrust Tate with the Sword of the Creator but Seteth wouldn’t trust them to watch students.</p><p>“Don’t even aaaaaaaask.” Jorah gave a long-suffering sigh. “The left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing, I swear.” </p><p>Dimitri gave a noncommittal noise and sympathetically bumped shoulders with Jorah. He was getting somewhat used to trying to show and receive affection with these two! </p><p>Jorah nudged him back then smiled. “Anyway, he’d want me to be vigilant anyway. Tatey and I maaaaay have invited Flayn along.” </p><p>Immediately his eyes widened and he looked about for her. “Professor, no, you didn’t.” These two really were just so impulsive when it came to certain things weren’t they?! </p><p>“Don’t worry. She’s in the safest possible place.” Jorah gave a playful grin. </p><p>“And where is that?” Dimitri suddenly looked at him with a bit of concern. What was so funny?</p><p>“I told her to stick with Dedue.” Here his grin turned so...delighted with the entire concept.</p><p>With a soft chuckle, Dimitri shook his head. “That is indeed one of the safest places to be anywhere, but poor Dedue has been put on bodyguard duty then?”</p><p>“No, if anything it’s keeping him off trying to just guard you instead of participating. He’s a steady head and can keep track of her and of what to do in case of injury.” Jorah admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “It was the best distraction I could think of for him and the easiest person for me to trust she’s safe with. Seteth generally doesn’t seem to have the same...biases some have about him.”</p><p>That was...too true. Dedue was his best friend, someone very important to him, but he was so dedicated to protecting Dimitri that he didn’t always study for himself. Too many people looked at him and saw a danger not someone who was good, loyal and honorable. Shows of faith in him and attempts to push him towards actually being treated as a student were good. </p><p>“That being said, it would probably be good if he saw you once in a while during this, Dimitri. Don’t just focus on the training aspects when you’re out in the field. Go have some fun.” Jorah suggested, giving Dimitri a gentle nudge and a point in a particular direction. Likely wherever he’d last seen Dedue.</p><p>“I think I will, Professor. Thank you.” </p><p>Yes, today was a beautiful day still. Hopefully the first of many more to come.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Dinner and Discussions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So I promised to interrogate you.” Claude suggested, resting his chin on Jorah’s shoulder and grinning. </p><p>“Is that what this is? Here I thought you just had nefarious plans to make dinner with me so we could chat in private for other reasons.” Jorah stirred the sauce he was working on. Most conversations with Claude these days featured being leaned on far more than before - Jorah wasn’t sure if it was making up for lost time or just being less afraid to do it as often now he’d briefly lost it. Either way he didn’t mind. </p><p>“No, we’re at schemes upon schemes stage, Teach. The nefarious plan to make food with you was separate and yet useful to my decision to interrogate you when I finally had you alone.” </p><p>“Ah, so what’s the purpose of the nefarious plan to make food?” </p><p>“An excuse to use those spices you gave me of course.” Claude grinned and stepped away from him to get back to his portion of the cooking. Together they could actually manage something very nice to eat. </p><p>Oh those spices. He’d realized Claude’s birthday was the previous month in the midst of trying to figure out whatever nonsense plot was going on at the school. He’d agonized about what to even get him - or if he should get him ANYTHING, as his Professor, but he did try to do at least something for all of them so it wasn’t THAT bad? He’d ended up getting Claude an actual set of some spices after a few times hearing the boy lamenting the food at the Academy was horrifically bland when certain people weren’t assisting in the kitchens. It’d been sort of a panic choice on Jorah’s part and he felt very stupid about it.</p><p>“I still feel that was a terrible gift idea on my part.” Jorah chuckled. </p><p>“I mean you didn’t give me flowers and that hurts. Hilda says you gave Lorenz roses.” Claude feigned indignation, clasping a hand to his chest in exaggerated fashion.</p><p>“What do you want from me, the boy likes roses and that’s what I managed in the greenhouse. I’m not good at gardening and I never know what I’m getting out of any of the seeds I drop off there.” Jorah laughed openly at that. “It’s traditional to give friends and acquaintances some flowers for their birthday, I just happened to have some I knew he really likes. I give Hilda flowers all the time.” </p><p>“Why DO you always give Hilda those?” Claude snickered. “Not that I mind you giving her stuff, it definitely puts her in a better mood getting spoiled.”</p><p>“Because they’re the only flower I seem to be able to consistently grow and she’s like the only person I know who actually gets EXCITED by anemones - did you know, I had no idea those were a flower. I thought it was a sea creature till someone explained.” Jorah shook his head then pointed with his spatula, “Claude I think that’s starting to burn.”</p><p>“Ack! Yes, yes it is, thank you.” He flipped the piece of meat quickly and made a low whistle. “Saved it, not too bad. We make a good team, Teach.” Claude bumped his hip into Jorah’s.</p><p>“Yes, my ability to make sauce and monitor vegetables is a real contribution to this process.” Jorah nudged at the vegetables he was browning before passing them towards Claude’s pan. </p><p>The pair of them tended to make food by some combination of intuition, bits of both of their knowledge that they gleaned in various places, and a good old fashioned helping of luck. They didn’t so much completely follow recipes as they did get an idea of what they were making and go a little wild in the process. </p><p>“Anyway even if you didn’t give me flowers, I do actually appreciate what you did get me because I’d been whining about the food here quite a lot, so all of my classmates were definitely grateful for me shutting up on at least one topic.” Claude smirked.</p><p>“By which you mean you like that someone genuinely listens to things you complain about and wants to fix them?” Jorah teased him.</p><p>“Me? Admit to liking being paid attention to and noticed? Never.” </p><p>Jorah laughed at him and had to reach out to pull Claude closer to squeeze for a second. “You’re worth listening to.” </p><p>“Teach stop, you can’t drop all this sincerity on me or I’m going to make a mess of like everything we’re doing.” Claude was laughing again. </p><p>“Or you guys are going to hurt yourselves, that is also possible.” Ashe suggested good-naturedly from where he was chopping vegetables at a nearby counter. </p><p>“Ashe how long have you been standing there?” Claude peered at the other boy curiously.</p><p>“He might’ve been here before us.” Jorah suggested with a chuckle, letting go of Claude to get back to finishing up their food so they could get out of the way.</p><p>“You did both say ‘hi Ashe’ when you came in so I think you saw me.” Ashe agreed. </p><p>“Then I’m very sorry we forgot you and got extremely silly.” Jorah suggested then clicked his tongue, “Claude this is about done if you can grab me that bowl.” </p><p>“Yeah yeah coming up-” Claude had begun to scrape the mess of meat and vegetables they’d made onto a plate so had to reach his other hand to grab the bowl for Jorah. “If it makes you feel any better, Ashe, we frequently forget lots of things.”</p><p>“Especially with each other, I know. I’ve heard about the Golden Deer Special.” Ashe gave a warm little laugh. </p><p>“The what?” Claude asked, frowning. Jorah had to tug the bowl away from his hands because he was distracted in the middle of handing it over. </p><p>“Claude, finish taking the pans off the heat.” Jorah said quietly then looked at Ashe, “Is that the name of it? I’ve heard rumors it’s a thing.”</p><p>Ashe blinked himself then blushed, “Oh I didn’t realize you...weren’t aware.”</p><p>“I had some idea if it’s what I’m thinking of. We will politely not share you told us if you explain.” Jorah assured him. </p><p>“It’s apparently a trick the class uses to getting extra breaks in class to write more notes or relax for a while? As I heard from...my source-” Ashe looked away shiftily but smiled, “-it’s very easy to get you two talking and planning together and off topic? So to get the breaks they just nudge you to do that.”</p><p>“...That’s…..genius. I want to be offended but I can’t because I love it too much.” Claude was grinning wildly and Jorah had to take the pan out of his hands to finish getting their food out of it before it really did start burning. </p><p>“Yep, that’s what I was thinking. I’d caught it a time or two but I figured I was wrong given when I really started noticing it.” Jorah finished plating up their food and removed the plates. “Claude, can you make sure everything’s off and our things are off the heat right?”</p><p>“Right! Yes.”  Claude got back to it quickly and they were soon safely finished cleaning up and turning off all the heat and could safely go eat. </p><p>The dining hall was more empty at this time of night so the two could just grab seats and continue talking as they liked.</p><p>“I believe I was going to interrogate you at some point here.” Claude started up again, once he’d finished a few bites.</p><p>“You were.” Jorah agreed, taking a sip of the juice he’d gotten himself to drink. He couldn’t stand wine and this meal didn’t suit tea so juice it was, odd as the choice felt. </p><p>“I can’t wait till it gets colder and they start making things like cider again.” Claude grumbled looking at his own cup a moment before taking a sip. </p><p>“I’ll keep that in mind when we get there. Interrogation.” </p><p>“Yes. Interrogation.” Claude agreed, “So I never would have guessed you were a descendent of the King of Liberation.” </p><p>“I still wouldn’t guess it.” Jorah shook his head. “But I’d like to hear why you think so anyway.” </p><p>“C’mon Teach, don’t play coy with me.” Claude snorted, “That relic I said could cut a mountain in half? That was the Sword of the Creator.”</p><p>“Can’t say I’m surprised on that front. If it was going to be one of them, it might as well be that one.” Jorah leaned on his hand and gave Claude a blank look. </p><p>In truth, he had no idea if they were or weren’t related to Nemesis. Or why his sister could wield the Sword, especially without a Crest Stone. He suspected it had to do with Sothis, but he wasn’t going to mention that or his ability to see in his sister’s head unless he actually needed to. That was a bit too left of normal for most.</p><p>“Well that one could only be wielded by Nemesis and if Tate can use it, that can only mean she has that bloodline’s crest, and since you’re twins...well.” Claude made a gesture to indicate the remainder of the trail of thought.</p><p>“Close.” Jorah took a sip, “But there’s a flaw in your logic.” </p><p>“And that is?”</p><p>“Wherever Nemesis managed to get his crest from. We don’t know if he had any heirs and we don’t know how he got the initial crest -” Jorah paused to gesture with his cup, “-at least if you don’t accept the Church’s explanation, but I do have a theory even if you do. But however he got the initial Crest, it’s possible someone else could have picked it up similarly. By the same virtue if the Church is correct and he was gifted it directly by the Goddess...who’s to say the Goddess can’t just...gift it to someone else?” </p><p>Claude shivered at that. “I hope not. I’m sure plenty of nobles would looooove a new batch of fresh Crests to pop up and strengthen their precious bloodlines, but it just sounds like it will make already bad things worse.”</p><p>“The power imbalance among those with and without Crests is already pretty sketchy, and the way those who have them are treated when it comes to the marriage market is pretty...sickening.” Jorah agreed, making a face. Even the main mission of the month was related to that - a stolen relic by the rejected son of a noble house for his lack of a Crest.</p><p>“Anyway, you haven’t necessarily proven you two aren’t related to Nemesis. It’s not as if your Dad’s willing to provide a detailed lineage.” Claude sighed.</p><p>“And that’s only one half anyway. We can’t say anything about my Mother’s lineage either. We've got next to nothing to go on."</p><p>Claude slumped in his seat and sighed. “I’m sure Hanneman wanted to poke and prod the both of you.”</p><p>“He did but I told him there’s no point in it with me. I don’t have the same Crest and I can’t use the sword.” Jorah had had to refuse very politely several times over. Tate may feel bad declining Hanneman about his research but Jorah sure didn’t. The guy was nice enough but Jorah didn’t want his blood fiddled with by strangers for no reason.</p><p>“You sure? Your sister didn’t know she had a Crest till she got here. Could be the same for you.” Claude suggested before taking another bite of his meal.</p><p>“But it’s not. I already know about my Crest.” Jorah told him plainly and waited. </p><p>Slowly, Claude’s eyes narrowed across the table at him and he pointed with a fork. “Oh? And what do you know?”</p><p>“I have a Crest. It just isn’t that one.” Jorah bounced his brows briefly and took another bite of his meat, taking the time to decide how he felt about the sauce he’d made rather than watching Claude’s face journey at that information.</p><p>“....Huh. I haven’t heard that happening too often.” Claude tilted his head. “You don’t usually get a single family with two separate Crests unless you very carefully arrange the marriage and usually the nobility try to avoid that so they don’t have one of the two bred out of the family and lose status for it.”</p><p>“You’re right. Besides, usually you hear about family’s where someone has a Major Crest. A set of twins where each has a separate Major Crest would get talk and usually take some planning to achieve.” Jorah agreed.</p><p>Here Claude actually dropped his fork, bite and all, mouth hanging open. </p><p>“A...you have a MAJOR Crest? And it’s completely different from her’s? Teach what the fu-”</p><p>Jorah quickly picked up the fallen fork and bite, pushing it into Claude’s mouth to cut off the curse. Not that Jorah minded cursing but they were in public enough he’d have to probably tell Claude off for it. </p><p>“Yes. I have a Major Crest of Seiros. And don’t try and say this means we’re also related to Edelgard.”</p><p>“Well that one - other people definitely have had Crests of Seiros besides just the Hresvelg family.” Claude took control of the fork and finished his bite then waved Jorah off. “Still, they’ve been mostly Minor Crests for a while, as far as I’ve learned anyway." </p><p>Jorah went back to his own plate and commented casually, "This sauce definitely needed something else but I can't decide what."</p><p>Claude stuck his finger in a bit of it on his plate then gave it a taste. He looked ponderous for a few moments. </p><p>"Could be tangier," was the observation at last.</p><p>"I was thinking sweeter but tangier might be it." Jorah agreed and went back to his meat. "Good to know for next time. Is yours alright?"</p><p>"Yeah, it's fine, I'm just getting lost in my head again." Claude nodded and went back to his food. After a moment he added, "I notice you took the slightly burnt one." </p><p>"Yes it's the secret source of all the flavor." Jorah joked. Really he just picked it so Claude could have the one that was better done since this was a meal so he could enjoy his present. </p><p>"You're probably not going to remember tangier for next time." Claude leaned on his hand and gave a wry smile. His other hand he rested on the table, quite close to Jorah's. </p><p>"Neither are you." Jorah admitted and tilted his hand up from being flat on the table.</p><p>Claude had been moving to rest his hand in Jorah's, their skin barely brushing when someone new came up to their table and addressed Claude. They quickly moved their hands further apart.</p><p>"If it isn't my little Claude. I heard I'd find you here but I hope I'm not interrupting something?" The woman seemed shrewd but not unkind. </p><p>"Judith?!" Claude sat up just a bit in his seat. "No, you're not interrupting. We're just finishing dinner. What are you doing here?"</p><p>Judith narrowed her eyes at him, "That's Lady Judith to you, boy. I told you, until you're in charge, I expect you to address me with all due respect." She also didn't seem like she believed him about not interrupting but clearly her business was more important. "I'm here to retrieve you. Duke Riegan's condition has taken a turn for the worse."</p><p>Jorah looked to Claude with some concern. That was his Grandfather after all, and it really wasn't clear if they were close or not. </p><p>"Are you saying the old man's on his death bed?" Claude was frequently hard to read but this said nope, not that close. Or at least not as much concern.</p><p>"No, it's not that bad. But in the state he's in, he won't be able to participate in the next roundtable conference. He wants you to go in his stead. I volunteered to play the messenger." Judith was still looking at both of them curiously. </p><p>"Well, thanks for that." Claude said that with the tone he might use if handed a toad in a teacup and couldn't refuse. He looked to Jorah in mild frustration before remembering himself. "Oh, and Teach, this is Judith. Also known as the Hero of House Daphnel." </p><p>Jorah looked over and gave a warm smile. "Lady Judith." He gave her a polite nod because Claude could be as casual with his friends and relatives as he wanted but Jorah needed to at least be semi-respectful.</p><p>"So you're little Claude's teacher, are you?" </p><p>The way she said it and looked at Jorah said she strongly questioned that. Given they'd been having dinner together and caught almost holding hands, if was not hard to be unsure. Judith was a smart woman obviously and also likely knew Claude damn well so probably had plenty of thoughts on the matter.</p><p>Still Jorah must've passed her inspection because she merely continued with, "How much trouble has he been giving you?"</p><p>"Would he be Claude if he weren't a bit of trouble?" Jorah asked with a grin. He tried not to snort with laughter at Claude lightly kicking him under the table. </p><p>Judith smiled at that. </p><p>Claude chose to ignore her response and pretend he'd ignored Jorah's, "If her nickname didn't give it away, you should know that Judith…" he caught a look from both of them at once, "Er, Lady Judith is the leader of the famous House Daphnel of the Leicester Alliance."</p><p>"Really, I couldn't have guessed." Jorah said dryly and got another light kick. "I definitely am not teaching an entire class of students from the Alliance and have never worked there before in my life." He turned in his seat and crossed one leg over the other so Claude couldn't kick him again quite as easily. Still he grinned at him.</p><p>"She used to be a big deal at the roundtable conferences, but it seems of late she's been reduced to a mere-"</p><p>Jorah raised a brow at him, wondering if he was really that eager to play with fire. He reached out to flick Claude's braid pointedly.</p><p>"You had better shut that mouth before I out my boot in it, you tactless nuisance!" Judith was clearly taking none of Claude's attitude. </p><p>Jorah laughed openly at her response and had to reach down to grab his students ankle to stop the final indignant kick for his 'betrayal'. "Don't kick me for that, you were asking for it." He only laughed harder at the mock glare Claude gave him which was made funnier knowing he had not yet successfully retrieved his leg. "It's not my fault you like being intentionally obnoxious to people who can easily handle you."</p><p>"I'm cornered and against opponents on two sides, what do you want of me?" Claude tugged his ankle again then gave up on it, which is when Jorah actually let him go.</p><p>Judith looked between them with amusement then shook her head. "Now come on. Let's get going. Sorry, Professor, but I need to borrow the boy for a bit."</p><p>Claude put the last bites of his dinner in his mouth quickly and washed it down with the end of his juice. "Looks like I'm abandoning you with the dishes. Sorry, Teach." He stood fully and brushed himself off. "But don't you worry, I'll be back before our mission." Which didn't say much, given that was at the end of the month.</p><p>Soon as he'd straightened up and readied to go, Claude settled himself into the way he acted when on business as House Leader and actually trying to be serious about it.</p><p>"All right, Judith, let's get going." He strode out ahead of them.</p><p>Jorah snorted. Still Claude, always. </p><p>"It's Lady...Ah, I suppose you are the active leader for the time being. Fair enough, boy, fair enough." She turned and shook her head at Jorah then walked out after him. </p><p>It turned out to be two weeks before Claude returned and Jorah did miss him terribly. It wasn't as bad as when they'd been so close but unable to interact right, but it was still palpable. He really was Jorah's favorite person to talk to. </p><p>It was Friday night when Jorah went out for a breath of fresh air and spotted a figure sneaking through the grounds. He tried to look out for these as it was usually his students and he needed to keep tabs on them. By the direction they seemed to be heading for the dorms so possibly someone sneaking back in. The slow halting steps weren't immediately identifiable though.</p><p>The figure paused near a light then changed direction, approaching him. Jorah smiled as he recognized his wayward House Leader and uncrossed his arms from over his chest. Claude all but collapsed against him and made a tired grumble into Jorah's shoulder. </p><p>"There are too many stairs at this school." </p><p>"Yeah, kinda." Jorah rubbed Claude's back. "Long conference?" He got a frustrated groan muffled by his shoulder in response so just smiled and let Claude gather himself enough so they could walk inside. </p><p>Soon as the door closed, Claude dropped his bag and toed out of his boots to go flop on Jorah's bed on top of the covers. </p><p>"Just claiming my bed. You're as bad as having a cat." Jorah snorted. He nudged the boots together and hung up the bag. If he didn't, he'd forget and the room would get messy very fast. </p><p>"I like your bed, it's not upstairs and it's not covered in junk." </p><p>"Claude you're the one who covers your bed in junk." Jorah pointed out as he sat and worked to get Claude's travel cloak off his shoulders so he could hang it up. He could already tell his guest probably wouldn't feel up to leaving. </p><p>Claude didn't protest that and instead just made a soft sigh as he shifted to let Jorah get his cloak pin undone. </p><p>"I missed this so much." He shifted to lean his head against where Jorah had his leg folded on the bed, resting his head on Jorah's thigh. </p><p>"I'm pretty sure most nobles families have someone who can help with a cloak and a bag when you get in." Jorah set the cloak pin aside then reached down and gently touched on the side of Claude's face. Once he'd tilted his head, Jorah removed his earring and set it aside with the pin. Not a good idea to sleep with an earring like that in.</p><p>"Yes but it's not the same." Claude rolled over fully this time and looked up at Jorah.</p><p>He did truly look so tired but there was something open and vulnerable in those green eyes, things Claude normally kept very closely guarded. </p><p>"I missed being here. I missed the other Golden Deer. I missed how we all seem to work. I especially missed you. Missed… this." Claude made a wide and loose sweeping arm gesture as he babbled. "I don't have a word for it. It's not really just being cared about - I was with family and had people around who I respect and know care about me. But I haven't been able to just...turn off being the interim leader of the Alliance. I haven't been able to just flop against someone and know they won't let me fall and just...see me. Just me. And have that be enough."</p><p>The self-consciousness set in then. "Am I making any sense?" </p><p>"You are. I was letting you find your end point. Do you want this undone too?" Jorah fiddled with the end of Claude's braid. </p><p>"Yes please." </p><p>He sighed a content little sigh and closed his eyes as Jorah undid the braid and set the clasp from the end with his other ornaments. It wasn't really necessary but Jorah stroked his fingers through his newly unbraided hair to loosen it further, then went back to carding his fingers through the mess of curls.</p><p>"I haven't been properly hugged or had my hair played with in two whole weeks. It was miserable." Claude relaxed under the attention and went back to rambling.</p><p>"It sounds it. How was the conference?" Jorah commented when given room for it. </p><p>"Oof." Claude sighed, "This wasn't the first I've taken part in an Alliance roundtable conference but it was still exhausting."</p><p>"Probably extra so since you had to lead it." Jorah stopped running his fingers through Claude's hair and just settled his hands on the bed, listening to him talk. </p><p>"There's not enough cooperation in that group, especially from Lorenz's father."</p><p>"Given how his son has been brought up, I can imagine so." Jorah agreed. "How's your granddad?"</p><p>Claude sat himself up and stretched a bit. "Surprisingly alert." Claude scrunched up his face as he seemed to be trying to crack his back and failing. </p><p>Jorah put one hand on his shoulder and the other on his back and pressed just right and- there was the right kind of crack and Claude practically went boneless against him. </p><p>"Yup, thanks." Claude sighed and gave Jorah a smile, leaning back on his arms. "But yeah, he was pretty good. I'd say he's got at least five more years in him."</p><p>"I'm sure he's grateful for your assessment as a physician." Jorah smiled back. </p><p>"Thankfully he has people for that and me for other things. I'm sure his actual physicians don't want to run the roundtables either." Claude paused, seeming to think of what to say next. "Were you going to still be up working for a while?"</p><p>"I have some work I could do or a book I could read if you want to crash on my bed till you feel up to taking the stairs," Jorah offered, wondering if perhaps Claude might ask about the lights being out for a bit. </p><p>Claude blushed and shook his head, "No I - I just wanted to - If you're still going to be up, I'll stay up."</p><p>"Claude you are two steps from passing out." Jorah said firmly and took hold of Claude's chin to tilt it and look in his eyes. What was he actually thinking? He was tired so he didn't think it was quite not wanting to sleep.</p><p>Claude gave a sheepish half-smile. "I really did miss...being near you. Being held. I don't just want to go to sleep again if I'm going to lose it if I do. It's really been a very long two weeks."</p><p>Jorah considered then moved to grab his book. He dimmed the other lights in the room and stretched out on the bed, sitting up against the headboard. Claude watched him curiously, tired enough to be a step behind his usual, until Jorah lifted his right arm for him. Claude's brain caught up and he slipped under Jorah's arm and curled against him to sleep. </p><p>Jorah opened his book and went back to reading, keeping an arm around Claude as he slept. It surprised him how so simple a thing as being close to and feeling safe and cared about by someone could do so much for someone.</p><p>Idly as the room went quiet, save for their breathing, and Jorah tried to focus in on his book, he recalled something odd. When he'd been observing Claude sneaking back in, he'd been coming from the wrong path. Usually if one were coming from the entrance or the stables - for those who had made the journey by horse - they came from a specific direction. Claude coming back from sneaking into the library also had specific routes he took. </p><p>Really the only way someone newly arrived would be coming from that way was if they were walking back from the wyvern pens.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Claude did you seriously think you could hide a whole wyvern?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Oh, I disagree. I'd let you grasp me any day. My hand, my heart, even my neck. But if you want to know all my secrets... you'll have to bare yours as well.”</p><p>There was a brief moment where Hilda was staring at him, as if she wasn’t sure if she should believe a word he said or not. He was pretty sure his wily smile could outlast her scrutiny in this case. It could not outlast certain interruptions however.</p><p>“Well now. I’m just going to goooooo and come back laaaaaater.” </p><p>Claude spun around quickly to see Jorah in the doorway. His Professor was blinking at him, face bemused. It was a lot harder to hold his composure on lines like that in front of an unexpected audience but especially THAT unexpected audience.</p><p>Hilda burst out laughing behind him.</p><p>“Teach, please, you’re interrupting a private conversation.” Claude scratched the back of his neck nervously. </p><p>“I can tell. You just finish that up and I’ll talk to you later.” Jorah agreed, shaking his head and putting up his hands in front of him then backing out of the room. </p><p>“Teaaaaach, please.” Claude rubbed his own forehead. That had just gone very silly places.</p><p>Hilda was doubled over, still laughing at him. “There goes your chances, loverboy!~” </p><p>Turning, Claude pointed at Hilda. “You stop that. It isn’t like that between us.” </p><p>“Then why’re you blushing?” Hilda sing-songed, clearly happy with her revenge for his risque claims. </p><p>“I’m not blushing, I’m exasperated.” Claude protested, “It really isn’t like that between us.”</p><p>“Okaaaay if you say so.~” Hilda hummed. She decided to have mercy - or was just bored of him now - and went back to her letter. </p><p>Taking a deep breath, Claude tried to steady himself. He tried to reassure himself that Jorah had heard him say plenty of foolish things prior to this and would probably continue to do so as long as they knew each other. Still he felt unbelievably embarrassed about it, where a few moments before he’d been feeling rather pleased with his own cleverness at the coy retort.</p><p>Heading back out with quick strides, Claude was able to catch up with where Jorah had gone to stand - leaning against a wall and looking out a window, warm sun playing across his handsome features. When he turned back to look at Claude, the soft smile on his face made Claude’s heart almost stop. </p><p>“Shall I forget whatever that was?” Jorah asked, watching Claude get nearer to him before he stood to join him. “Or do I need to permanently etch that in the back of my mind in case I ever have to question mysterious bruising?” </p><p>Claude felt his cheeks and neck heat up again and tried to play it off. “Now, now, I thought we had a no judgement rule?” They didn’t, as far as he knew, but it was playfully implicit between them.</p><p>“Is that judging now? It’s not my business if you enjoy provoking girls who can beat you up, Claude, but if one of my students starts sporting bruises like he’s getting hurt I am going to be concerned.” Jorah linked arms with Claude and set to leading their impromptu walk. </p><p>“Don’t worry, I’m not getting up to anything like that - I have more important things to focus on. I was just trying to play around with Hilda and rile her up.” Claude bumped shoulders with Jorah and gave him a light grin, “But what’s all this about me liking to provoke girls?” </p><p>“I don’t know if it’s just you like girls who can handle you or you like causing trouble or both, but I know for a fact you make a habit of provoking plenty of girls who can easily handle you.” Jorah snorted. </p><p>“Oh really? Who?” Claude leaned his chin on Jorah’s shoulder to stare at him.</p><p>Lifting a hand, Jorah raised fingers as he counted off, “Judith, Hilda, Ingrid, Edelgard, Lysithea-”</p><p>“Hey now, Lysithea is entirely a fraternal bothering.” Claude pouted, “But I will admit I do enjoy a bit of fight and causing trouble like that. It’s not my ooooonly taste but it’s fun.” </p><p>“So you say. It’s all I’ve observed so far, but I agree. You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t find many unique and beautiful ways to flirt with or annoy your fellow students.” Jorah gave him a cheeky grin. </p><p>“I do also enjoy people who interact with me. Being willing to bounce ideas with me, trade stories or knowledge. Share things they’re passionate about or do common activities with me. Being willing to play with me.” As he said the last part, Claude gently ran his free hand down Jorah’s arm and rested his hand there. “I like being paid attention to… being cared about.” The last part was said barely above a breath.</p><p>“That was never in question.” Jorah paused and reached up to pat Claude’s cheek. “I’m teasing you a bit about liking to be troublesome but it’s not a complaint or a worry that you liking to flirt or even more than that is somehow a problem. You’re not you if you aren’t allowed to be a bit wild and willful.” </p><p>Claude had to hide his face in Jorah’s shoulder to hide how wide he smiled at that. Soon as he recovered, he gave a low laugh, “If someone were to get in trouble for their flirting and dating habits here at the academy, I wouldn’t be the first on the list by any means. By our standards, I’m actually quite tame.”</p><p>“Claude, while Sylvain does raise the bar quite high, you must remember we do also have more than one actual recluse at the Academy so the other end of the tame scale is pretty low. I’m afraid telling a girl she can choke you does add to your danger rating.” </p><p>“Where does that put you? You told her she could break my kneecaps.” Claude raised a brow at him, still grinning away.</p><p>“I told her she could hit you in the kneecaps, not break them. I encourage very limited violence upon you. I can’t exactly drag you into combat if she breaks your knees and Manuela would yell at me.” </p><p>Claude leaned his head on Jorah as they kept walking. Partly, this was just because he was thinking and found it easier to do when lounging, but it was also just fun because he could lean his whole weight on Jorah and barely redirect their path. Being able to be fully supported with minimal effort and no objections was just nice. </p><p>“I did actually have something I wanted to talk to you about.” Jorah commented.</p><p>Immediately, Claude tensed just a bit. “Uh oh. I don’t know if I want to know what you want to talk to me about. I heard you and Leonie earlier.” That had actually been a little scary. He’d gone by their classroom earlier in the day, looking for a prime nap spot, and managed to hear Jorah yelling through the closed door. </p><p>Ok so, he hadn’t actually been yelling, but even a raised voice from Jorah was startling. It was sort of like seeing Claude himself upset, it was an extremely rare sight, and that was entirely by design. Jorah did not get angry easily, and he did not generally get angry with their class. To hear him scolding a student for anything wasn’t something he expected.</p><p>The portion Claude had heard had been very stern.</p><p>“While I appreciate your admiration and respect for my father, you need to understand that first and foremost that that is what he is - he is our <i>father</i>. The relationship is different between someone you choose to idolize and someone who raised you.” </p><p>“You two got to live your whole lives with him and you know nothing about his achievements or how great he is! The two of you don’t appreciate him enough!” Leonie was passionately indignant, as she frequently got about the Captain.</p><p>“It is not our job to appreciate his achievements!” Jorah had roared back. Claude had been startled enough to almost leave then and there, but quickly he heard Jorah quiet himself, taking a more even tone.</p><p>“If there are gaps in our knowledge of his achievements, Leonie, it is because he chose to put them there. What you are failing to remember is that sometimes your parents may not want you to know everything about them. The man chose to leave that life and run a mercenary group instead. Whether you like it or not, there are things he did not want to raise his children knowing.”</p><p>“But-”</p><p>“Enough.” Jorah’s voice didn’t raise quite as high, but it was firm and brooked no argument. “When you are so insulted by our lack of information on him, just remind yourself that you are insulting Captain Jeralt’s parenting skills. And when you act disrespectfully to others at this school while claiming to be his apprentice, it’s my father’s name you are dragging through the mud with your actions. If you respect nothing else, respect that. Dismissed.” </p><p>“Professor-”</p><p>“I said dismissed, Miss Pinelli.” Jorah spoke sharply once more and softened again immediately after. He definitely didn’t seem to like how bothered he was getting. “I will see you in class, Leonie. Just...please think about your actions going forward.” </p><p>Claude had quickly gotten away from the door at that point, but he did watch and Leonie stepped out after a moment or two, looking a little chastened, maybe even a little shaken. Still, it was Leonie and she recovered quickly and left with no fanfare to it. Claude had also gotten on with his day at that point. </p><p>In truth, he wasn’t really afraid Jorah would yell at him like that. If he were angry with Claude that way, there’d be no way they’d be meandering along on a lazy walk together. Still, he was nervous about what they needed to talk about, but a man of secrets has plenty of reasons to be nervous.</p><p>In the present, Jorah narrowed his eyes and nudged Claude, “Don’t eavesdrop on people’s private conversations. At the very least, not conversations disciplining your fellow students.”</p><p>“You were a little loud, Teach.” Claude said but did feel bad about it, “I was curious what had you so upset.”</p><p>“Still, if I am discussing matters of discipline and behavior with any of my students privately, I would like you to respect that privacy and not listen in. It’s the same courtesy I’d want others to give you in that situation.” Jorah said, serious teacher voice active for just a moment.</p><p>“You’re right, I’m sorry. I was curious but it’s not the sort of thing I should have been listening to or information I needed.” Claude looked down at his boots. In the end, it hadn’t been something he really needed to stick around for. </p><p>Jorah rubbed Claude's arm and even without looking up, Claude knew he was smiling again. “Anyway, you and I both know if I had that kind of concern, I would have just asked you to step aside somewhere private to speak about it.”</p><p>"Yeah. Plus I'd be much more careful about playing around with you if I thought you were angry with me. I may like to provoke people who can kick my butt, as you say, but I don't want to get on your bad side." Claude folded his arms behind his head, giving Jorah a quizzical stare. "I've seen just how powerful your temper is."</p><p>He caught the slightest wince from Jorah at that but it was quickly hidden by a shake of the head and a change of posture. </p><p>Jorah crossed his arms over his chest. "That's different. That's not necessarily a matter of my temper. I can choose to...I do actually control that state for the most part. It may be easier when I'm upset, more powerful when I'm angry, but it's not something that just kicks in every time I get angry." </p><p>"So what is it then?" Claude tilted his head, looking at him thoughtfully, "Because I have to say, Teach, many men claim they'd never hurt someone till that person does just the wrong thing and then-"</p><p>"Claude should I be asking about your home life here or your reading habits?" Jorah looked at him seriously.</p><p>Taking his hands from behind his head, Claude held them up quickly in front of him. "Nothing in my family, I promise. My mother would never let anyone lay a hand on her in a way she didn't like and my father's the same. They would also be extremely forceful with any who tried to harm their spouse. I may have had an atypical childhood for a noble but I was luckier than some to have at least a healthy example of marriage to look to."</p><p>Jorah gave a soft huff of laughter. "Fair enough." </p><p>"You're avoiding the question though. What does actually set you off like that?" Claude asked. "Perhaps I want it for a scheme.~" </p><p>Here, Jorah's gaze turned serious again, despite Claude's attempt to ease the tension with a joke. "Are you worried I'd hurt you?" There was something in how he asked, how he looked in Claude's eyes, it was reminiscent of when they spoke while he was in the infirmary. Jorah... really didn't like the idea of Claude fearing him did he?</p><p>Claude gave a nervous little smile and stepped nearer, lowering his voice. "No. Told you before I'm not. I remember how gentle you were with me that day, even when you had every right to be angry. I'm not afraid of you like that. I don't want to be your enemy ever and I hate the thought of you being upset or disappointed in me, but I don't fear you." </p><p>Jorah's gaze turned from searching to soft and fond and he brought a hand up to ruffle Claude's hair. "So just my nosy little schemer as usual." </p><p>"I like to think of myself as curious, clever, brilliant even. I have a thirst for the truth." Claude suggested dramatically, clutching the front of his own shirt. </p><p>"Nosy." Jorah booped the tip of Claude's nose. But he gave a mild shrug and answered him at last. "I don't fully know what it is or why I have it but usually it triggers from feeling extremely protective. Sometimes angry on behalf of someone or about them but most often it's because I desperately want to protect someone. It's like for a short while my body tricks itself into thinking I'm a powerful beast defending what's precious to me."</p><p>Claude felt a warmth in his chest and knew he was in danger of saying something extremely sappy so intentionally said something troublesome instead. "Aw Teach, I'm flattered you think your little Deer is such a treasure." </p><p>Jorah huffed a low laugh, "What can I say, I worry about the wild buck who likes to get his antlers caught in things." He pulled Claude near to hug. "I think not enough people have treated him as precious or worth protecting." </p><p>Hiding his face again, Claude smiled and hugged him back. "Who lets you drop all of this sincerity on me so easily? It's nowhere even close to fair." </p><p>"You do." Jorah laughed and released him so he could compose himself. "It's very fair, I let you get away with far too much. I need at least a little power to rein you in." </p><p>"You have all the advantage here. You've learned what I like and I don't know what you like. Not very fair of you to have my secrets and I have none of yours." Claude grinned, stepping back from him. </p><p>Jorah gave him another bemused smile. "Claude if my tastes aren't obvious, I think that's a failing of an entirely different sort than my not sharing." </p><p>Claude laughed, "Ok some are obvious but not everything!" </p><p>"No I don't trust you on that. You have to prove your observation skills now." Jorah crossed his arms over his chest and stood a little taller. That was the look he gave Claude whenever he quizzed him on something and it never failed to make him eager to prove himself. </p><p>"You have a soft spot for young girls - in the most innocent of ways, of course. But a little sister is your biggest weakness. You like people in general though." He considered further,  "You seem fond of Seteth and Alois, but not like that. I don't actually think I've ever seen you show any interest in anyone…"</p><p>Jorah raised a brow and Claude coughed, smiling awkwardly. "What? I haven't."</p><p>He kept his brow raised but ultimately shrugged, "I'll take pity on you since I have an advantage here. There are very few young men to my tastes at the Academy so of course you haven't seen me show an interest." </p><p>"Men exclusively then, interesting." Claude smirked. "And you say very few, not none. Who has my dear Teach's eye?~"</p><p>Here Jorah blushed up to his ears and looked away quickly. "I am making absolutely no admissions of that sort. For one thing I don't want it to get back to him. For another he's a shade <i>too</i> obnoxious in some ways."</p><p>Claude peered at him, suddenly even more curious with the information denied. The fact him being obnoxious was worth noting was interesting -  he hadn't known it was possible to br too much for even Jorah's patience? </p><p>An idea hit and Claude decided to test something just to narrow the field. After all, he could name the most "obnoxious" guys at Garreg Mach pretty quickly and there were ways to figure it out from there. Just had to confirm some things.</p><p>Leaning nearer, he whispered, "So, fancy noble boys after all?" There were three possibilities this would confirm, all quite dramatic personas, but depending on how Jorah reacted it would say quite a lot. He had three annoying young men in mind as possibilities and two of them were redheads so what he said next would narrow things further still. "Or was it the red hair that got you?"</p><p>Immediately Jorah stiffened and shook his head, starting to walk again. "No, and shut up. I said I'm not telling you." </p><p>"And yet you've already said so much anyway, Teach." Claude's grin was so wicked as he all but danced around him, walking backwards. </p><p>"No. And I don't think you actually know. You're just making educated guesses in the hopes I'll slip up. Otherwise you wouldn't have referenced his noble status first." Jorah waved him off, trying to regain some measure of composure.</p><p>And oh how the spider lured the fly. Claude raised his brows and clicked his tongue. Jorah had narrowed it down to one himself.</p><p>“My my my. Teach, I never thought you’d be the type.” He leaned in closer and said very low, “Sylvain, really?” </p><p>The blush was back and worse than ever. Jorah looked mortified and hunched his shoulders, shoving his hands into his pockets and looking away. “I thought I already said I didn’t?” </p><p>“Your face says otherwise.~” </p><p>“My face says I’m annoyed at you.” Jorah glared at Claude. </p><p>“Ouch! Don’t doooo that to me. I’m just curious about you, same as always. It’s not my fault you’re getting all flustered.” Claude laughed.</p><p>Yet still, the information was something of a double-edged sword. Because liking Sylvain could mean any number of things. Several of which did make that little crush Claude had on his Professor gnaw at him. They were extremely close and he didn’t want to lose what they had - he really didn’t! - but some part of him didn’t want anyone else having his attention that way. Every sweet young maiden in the school could armtwist his Teach as much as they liked - especially now Jorah had confirmed he didn’t fancy women at all - but the idea of Jorah actually having an eye for other guys did make him a little worried.</p><p>“What do you even like about him? You can’t get around it now so you might as well tell me.” They were still walking but Claude wasn’t worried about walking backwards. Even annoyed with him, Jorah wouldn’t let him get hurt. </p><p>“Do I need a serious explanation now? He’s hot, that’s it.” Jorah rolled his eyes. He moved sideways and turned their path some. “Stairs.” </p><p>“Got it, got it.” Claude moved to walking beside him while they took the stairs, sticking to Jorah’s path even while trying to annoy him. “Anyway, just saying ‘he’s hot’ means nothing. Attraction is relative.” </p><p>“That’s all I have to say though! He’s a good looking guy who is clever, likes to flirt and play and has a devilish smile and nice legs and a good butt. I try not to pay attention to these things but I haven’t stopped having eyes.” Jorah rubbed his temples in frustration. “He just won’t shut up about picking up girls, no matter how blatantly disinterested someone is in the topic. I had to drag Felix off to spar recently because he managed to miss how blatantly neither of us were interested in hearing tips to get dates.” </p><p>Claude tried not to think too hard on who else had those traits - especially the nice butt - and pointedly didn’t talk too much about picking up women. He didn’t, right? Well, he had been caught being very flirty with a girl and Jorah had indicated he knew he liked to pick on several of them for fun and flirting…</p><p>“Is liking girls a huge no in your books then?” Claude asked casually, leaning on Jorah again. Trying not to be self-conscious about wanting Jorah’s attention.</p><p>Here, he got another raised eyebrow from Jorah. “No? Didn’t we just talk about them earlier. Most people don’t talk about girls the way he does, you have to admit.” </p><p>Claude gave a little shrug. “I’m just trying to figure out what draws your eye and what puts you off, that’s all.” He moved to start walking backwards again.</p><p>Jorah gave him a strange look, tilting his head and once more raising a brow, before shaking it off with a small laugh. “Let’s just say anything he has that I like, there is far better available in other guys who don’t annoy me.” </p><p>“I don’t know if that’s a relief or not.” Claude admitted. “You’re a young and single man surrounded by cute guys your own age, should I be afraid my Teach is gonna suddenly get as distracted as Manuela is about her various dates?” Or that he’d lose interest in what they had if he found a suitable romantic partner?</p><p>Tilting his head again, Jorah seemed to be thinking of what he was going to say before giving Claude a gentle smile. “That’s not something you have to worry about.” </p><p>It was a non-answer to Claude’s fears and yet, it made him feel a bit better. He’d almost forgotten what they were even on a walk for, just letting out a small sigh. “So what DID you want to talk to me about anyway?”</p><p>“Oh, you know, the wyvern.” Jorah said mildly.</p><p>Oh no. </p><p>Claude stumbled nearly fell, but as he thought, his Teach wouldn’t let him. Jorah reached out and took hold of Claude’s arm and pulled him in against his own chest to steady him. This was why he felt safe walking even when he couldn’t see - Claude knew Jorah would handle that part. They just worked that way. It was why he so deeply wanted to hold onto what they had.</p><p>“I don’t know how you thought you were going to manage to keep that one a secret here, Claude.” Jorah commented as he helped Claude stand again. </p><p>“Ah ha...I don’t know what you’re….dammit you led us right here didn’t you?” Claude finally took full note of their surroundings. Jorah had taken them to right outside the wyvern pens. </p><p>“Yup.” </p><p>So too does the fly lead the spider, apparently. </p><p>“Teach I can explain.” Claude really didn’t know if it was better to lie now or tell the whole truth but he knew he couldn’t just say nothing.</p><p>“That’s good, that’s what I expected you to do when I said I wanted to talk about it.” Jorah had once more gained the upper hand in their conversations and his Teach was calm and composed once more.</p><p>In truth, Claude hadn’t really thought he could get away with hiding a wyvern at Garreg Mach, particularly not <i>his</i> wyvern - she was pure white, she stood out among the school wyverns by a lot! But he’d had no choice in bringing her back with him!</p><p>“She’s mine, yeah.” Claude admitted, hanging his head. “Her name’s Prismarina.” He’d named her when he was a boy and still learning about various stones and gems and pretty sounding things. He’d cobbled together what sounded like a very pretty gem name and wasn’t much of anything, but by the time he knew it had stuck. </p><p>Jorah was still looking at him seriously. “And you didn’t just tell me because…?”</p><p>“Because I didn’t want you being in trouble too! I know I’m not supposed to have her here.” Claude looked up at him, feeling out of sorts and worried now. He didn’t want to have to say goodbye to her again, not with how sad she’d been while at his Grandfather’s home. “I can’t send her back…”</p><p>He was pulled against his Professor again, Jorah comforting him easily. “Just tell me what the situation is.”</p><p>Claude hugged Jorah close for a moment then stepped back once more, steadying himself. </p><p>He took a deep breath, trying to not ramble too much in his explanation and say anything he didn’t otherwise want to share. “She’s mine, I’ve had her since she hatched. I was very young. She had to stay at my Grandfather’s since students who aren’t certified as wyvern riders at the school can’t have their own wyverns and even then, most are expected to use the school ones. But he can’t pay her the attention she needs and she was extremely unhappy without me, it was affecting her health. When I visited, the grooms said she was off her feed. She did a lot better with me visiting but threw a fit when I was supposed to leave again.”</p><p>That wasn’t the whole truth but it was as much as Jorah needed. </p><p>The real fact was that Prismarina was a proper Almyran wyvern, and that meant many things. Fodlan’s wyverns were bred for different traits and trained very differently. It was one of the many cultural shifts Claude had had to get used to when coming here. In Fodlan, you  could just borrow and use whatever wyverns you wanted from the stables and it was the same as horses. Not so much in Almyra.</p><p>Almyran wyverns bonded for life to a single rider - and took singular mates too. For their loyalty and determination, they were very prized but also very volatile. The bond between wyvern and rider was extremely powerful but also resulted in them being very particular with who they would put up with. Losing that rider could mean the wyvern’s death if not carefully cared for by the right sorts. Usually the only person they’d bond with even close to as much as their chosen rider was that rider’s ‘mate’. </p><p>That was also a downside to an Almyran wyvern. You couldn’t just introduce them to anyone in your life, especially not partners. They were very set in their beliefs that if they could mate for life, so could their humans, and the concept of ‘dating’ was nothing to a flying lizard with attitude problems and tantrums. It was said one had best not introduce your lover to your wyvern unless you were already ready to marry them, because the wyvern was probably not going to accept any other lover you had after. The only exception was if the wyvern personally didn’t like whoever it was, and at that point your relationship may as well be over anyway. A wyvern’s approval or disapproval of a match could mean a whole lot for your life.</p><p>Just the same, there were those you could have around to help care for and guide a wyvern. Family members were accepted, even if more grudgingly so, and grooms or caretakers were put up with. Even instructors were allowed to some degree, but there were standards. It meant Claude had an extremely difficult time finding anywhere he could keep Prismarina if he wasn’t to have her with him. That was made extra difficult because she was..extremely clever and quite willful even for a wyvern.</p><p>“Claude I’m going to point out that this is even more dicy since not only do you have your wyvern at the Monastery without the proper certifications...she also has a habit of getting out of her pen. Whenever she likes.” Jorah pointed out.</p><p>This made Claude freeze. “She what?”</p><p>“She has gotten out several times. She has been found basking on the grounds and going on little flying jaunts around on her own.” Jorah pointed out.</p><p>“No...Pris what are you doing?” Claude bemoaned his situation greatly. He dearly loved her but she was going to get him into so much more trouble.</p><p>As if in answer to him - and proof of the problem - a large scaly snout was suddenly placed on Claude’s shoulder and Prismarina began to nuzzle into his side, bonking him with her antlers as she was wont to do. </p><p>“Ack! Pris, no!” Claude spun around again and pet her face. She really had gotten out!</p><p>“Hello Miss Prismarina. Escaping again, I see.” Jorah greeted the large wyvern. He was keeping a polite distance but watching them with amusement. </p><p>“Sorry, Teach. She’s a good girl, just very…” Claude glanced aside.</p><p>“She’s clever and troublesome. Yes, I gathered. I wonder who she learned <i>that</i> from.” Jorah reached out and affectionately pat Claude’s cheek with a smile. </p><p>“Mean.” Claude stuck his tongue out at Jorah, which just got him a fond laugh. Really, despite his worries, Claude was happy. He was stuck here between the two dearest to him in the world. His beloved wyvern, and his dear Professor. It made his heart feel like it was molten for how happy it made him. </p><p>Prismarina seemed to be sizing Jorah up between nuzzling at Claude for pets and ultimately decided to lean over and nudge her nose into Jorah a bit. </p><p>“What are we going to do about you, hm?” Jorah asked her, scritching under her chin.</p><p>“Oh no, Teach, you’re giving her chin scritches. She’s going to be all over your for attention now.” Claude teased - though he had a little apprehension. Prismarina DID love chin scritches and affection, but she did not put up well with groomers or any other staff giving them. He hoped his behaviors with Jorah gave her the impression he was trusted and close so could be allowed to give her affection as well. He would hate if they didn’t get along.</p><p>The wyvern seemed to reinforce his good opinion of his Teach by leaning her head on him and making a few low huffs, trying to get more pets from him. </p><p>“I’m noticing that’s a trend here.” Jorah agreed dryly, continuing to scritch the wyvern. “You like your hair played with, she likes scritches on her chin and antlers.” He knew that part since he was also scritching the base of her antlers now, to happy little headbutts.</p><p>Claude gave a nervous chuckle and rubbed the back of his neck. He also liked neck kisses and nuzzles but that was absolutely not something he was telling Jorah right now, crush or no. He had way other things to think about than being a mess under the easy affection and care. </p><p>“A-anyway. I know it’s going to be hard to sort out but I really can’t just leave her behind. Isn’t there anything we can do to keep her? Help me scheme something here, Teach. Altering records or something?” </p><p>“Claude, there’s no way either of us are going to be able to alter records here to make them suddenly buy that the Academy has a white wyvern that also happens to only prefer one student.” Jorah gave him a glance then looked back at Prismarina, who was looking up at him curiously.</p><p>“A good point but what else can we do? Fake a certification pass?” Claude offered half-heartedly. “Some kind of exception from the Archbishop?” </p><p>Jorah snorted, “I don’t think Tate would be comfortable asking for one, even if Rhea might just give it to her.” </p><p>“Just my luck, I don’t have her favorite.” Claude gave an awkward shrug. “I don’t feel comfortable just having Pris hiding out in the woods near here. She could get seriously hurt or captured or-”</p><p>“Well then there’s no helping it.” Jorah cut him off with a resigned sigh. “If she’s staying here, she has to have a registered owner that’s a certified rider.” </p><p>Claude shrank a little, “I don’t have the skills to get the certification here. I looked.” Garreg Mach had a very narrow definition of what did and didn’t qualify for wyvern riding certification and unfortunately it was almost exclusively axe use as a main requirement. He’d have to give up his main sword training and switch to a weapon he didn’t know at all yet which was going to take a while and…</p><p>“I can probably bother Seteth to help me brush up on my flying skills enough to qualify for certification.” Jorah said, looking down at Pris and patting her nose, “You will just have to tolerate me for a little, Miss Prismarina.”</p><p>“Wait you - what?” Claude stared at him. </p><p>Jorah looked up, “The wyvern rider certifications at the Academy require flying skills and axe using skills, and the axe skills have to be the higher of the two to even qualify. Either we’d have to work to get you to excel in axe mastery practically overnight, or you need someone who already has the right skills or close enough to them to pass. I’ve already got the axe mastery qualification and can pick up flying skills.” </p><p>It felt as if his heart was going to beat right out of his chest. “Teach...you’re serious..” Claude felt the little relieved half-smile forming on his face before he darted forward to hug Jorah tight. “You’d seriously take on a new certification just so I can keep Prismarina...thank you.” </p><p>He got a fond laugh and Jorah petting his hair again, and he really was as bad as his wyvern, nuzzling right in against Jorah’s front and clinging to him. </p><p>“How can I say no? She’s clearly important to you. I’ve never seen you worked up like that about anything else.” Jorah assured him. </p><p>“You won’t regret this.” Claude assured him and then had to laugh as Prismarina decided she wanted in on the hug, nosing at them both and wrapping her wings around them. </p><p>“Alright, alright, I’m going to topple over with both of you hugging me like that.” Jorah laughed, putting his other hand up to pet Pris’s nose. He said that, but in truth he felt as solid as ever, even with a wyvern trying to bowl him over for affection. Partly, Claude was amazed Prismarina took to him this fast, but she’d been stuck without Claude himself long enough she was probably more amiable to some things. </p><p>Once he’d managed to compose himself again, Claude stepped back with a smile. “That’s a proper scheme if I ever heard one. But I do have to wonder - why do you have the certification requirements for wyvern rider memorized anyway, Teach? Plans I should be hearing about here?” </p><p>“Sometimes I just like making Hilda’s life more difficult for no reason.” Jorah joked. </p><p>With a snort, Claude nodded, “Can’t wait to see how she takes that.” </p><p>“It’s fine, I’m sure she suspects I’m pushing her for flying soon enough anyway. She’s been on Sky Watch with Marianne a bunch lately.” </p><p>“And here I thought it was just because you know Hilda tends to be able to make up when Marianne gets clumsy.” </p><p>“Oh she does, but Marianne being good with horses also makes up for Hilda being completely unfamiliar with flying.” Jorah then gave a sly smirk, “But Marianne’s about ready to certify anyway so Hilda’s going to need a new partner for Sky Watch anyway. Guess your weeks just got a whole lot more interesting, huh?” </p><p>Claude stared at him then chuckled, “Oh I knew there’d be a catch, Teach.”</p><p>“Of course. You’re not going to want me fake claiming your lovely lady forever, Claude. You’re going to have to take responsibility of her sooner or later. I’ll just get certified and claim she’s mine so you have more time to work on what you need for certification without giving up your actual interests.” Jorah suggested. “Who knows, you might even take well to using an axe.”</p><p>“I might take even better to it if you’re the one showing me.” Claude bumped hips with him playfully. </p><p>“We’ll see.~”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Edelgard in the rain, in good company</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So, along with everything else we know, now we have confirmation they can turn ordinary people into...well.” Hubert gave a grim smile. </p><p>Edelgard knew her friend and vassal well enough to know he was not actually pleased about this information but ominous smiles were how Hubert coped with the day to day horrors he had to deal with. If he could not hide all reaction, he would train himself to display ones of most advantage to him. Others leaned into such a skill differently, but Hubert was excellent at using the demeanor he was naturally gifted with to his advantage. He also just enjoyed the aesthetic of it and as it was mostly harmless, she did not curb this.</p><p>“At the very least, it should strengthen our resolve.” Edelgard stated plainly, and looked out over the grounds of the Monastery. </p><p>They had been intending to take a walk through the gardens but when it began to rain, the pair had to seek shelter up against a wall of the building they were in, where an upper floor’s structure blocked the rain. Still, it meant less people out and about to nose into their conversations. </p><p>“Does it?” Hubert asked her, studying her face before coughing and looking away. “Apologies, Lady Edelgard. That was a thoughtless question.”</p><p>“Hubert...you may still ask me things.” Edelgard did not actually respond to his inquiry however. She didn’t think she could.</p><p>For all seeing the beast that had become of the bandit leader Miklan Gautier, Edelgard didn’t find her resolve strengthened at all. If anything, it gave her a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. </p><p>She didn’t like the Church having that kind of power and keeping it hidden, of course. They enforced the Crest system and empowered the Nobility far too much. But she felt that confirmation that beasts of that sort could be made would prompt others to try. It was not only the enemies she faced that the Imperial Princess needed to be wary of. The allies of the present, enemies of the future, could wield the same power to just as much horrible effect, and she knew too little of their history and motives for her liking.</p><p>Looking distantly out over the misty grounds, she almost didn’t spot the figure in a wet cloak that was running through. It was Hubert who caught on first.</p><p>“Is that not our Professor?” he asked, idly. </p><p>“Is it?” Edelgard looked forward, watching the quick steps of the boots as the young woman hid under her long coat and ran through the wet grounds. “It is! What is she doing?”</p><p>“Probably running useless errands for various students.” Hubert observed but without much malice to it. </p><p>Tate stopped her mad dash around the Monastery and stood, scanning the grounds in their direction, her face as empty as usual. That was, until she spotted the pair and lit up just a little, and splashed over towards them. She stopped running only when she was near and let her coat fall back down to her shoulders, standing properly before them and striding over slowly, steps careful of any water on the ground.</p><p>“Professor, what are you doing? It’s raining, I don’t really advise doing your errands right now.” </p><p>Tate looked confused, which was very similar to how she looked normally except her eyes had a more open emptiness to them. It was somewhat unnerving. “Errands?” Then another blink and understanding dawned. “Oh while I’m here.”</p><p>She turned to rummage in her bag and pulled out a small black box, then held it out towards Hubert. </p><p>Hubert took it, looking a bit shocked. “Studying my preferences? Clever.” </p><p>Edelgard refrained from commenting any amusement on how many people could tell Hubert loved coffee instead of tea. Instead, she peered at her Professor, hoping that Tate had taken no offense to his lack of thanks. It wasn’t really like Hubert to show gratitude in quite such glowing terms as some.</p><p>Tate didn’t seem to even be thinking of the matter anymore, merely fixing her bag so the contents wasn’t rained on and showing no further interest in the matter. </p><p>“If you weren’t running errands, what were you doing?” Edelgard inquired, still curious. After all, Tate usually didn’t go tearing all over campus when she wasn’t intending to go anywhere. The weather wasn’t good enough for a sudden desire to fish, as far as she knew, and there wasn’t a meal to rush to in the Dining Hall.</p><p>Looking into her eyes, Edelgard see something odd about how open and soft they looked. Actually, there seemed to be several odd things about her face today - compared to its usual state anyway. To see Tate covered in cuts and bruises or maybe bits of something she’d been trying to cook, that was nothing new. Currently, however, her face was completely clean but more noticeably, quite pale and a little pink around her eyes. If it had been another person, Edelgard would have suspected she’d been crying but so far as Edelgard was aware, that wasn’t actually something Tate did. </p><p>“Professor?” She tried again, wondering at the strange silence to her question. The look Tate was giving her almost reminded her of the guilty little pout she’d given at being asked not to fight the Death Knight. This was much softer, more open than that time. </p><p>“If I did not know better, I would suspect our Professor has been crying.” Hubert observed as coldly as if she hadn’t been there. </p><p>Edelgard looked over quickly and considered if she should scold him for this but decided against it. Instead she looked back at Tate.</p><p>“You do look a bit off color. Are you feeling well?”</p><p>This Tate seemed to consider before stepping nearer to them and under the shade of the building. She turned and placed her back against the wall and looked up. </p><p>“I am...unsettled.” At last she spoke, but the answer was unexpected.</p><p>“Oh? And here I thought you were unflappable. Do tell, Professor. I will make a note of it.” Hubert suggested.</p><p>Edelgard frowned minutely but once more didn’t comment. If something could distress her Professor like this, it was usually something to be minorly concerned at. “Did something happen?” </p><p>“...it has been a long couple of weeks.” Tate admitted, looking down. “I am not as adjusted to students as I had thought.” </p><p>“Aren’t you?” Edelgard didn’t know what to make of that. For all she was distant and struggled emotionally, Tate was a dedicated Professor and had been making gradual strides to make ties to more and more of the students. She seemed to be doing quite well at it of late, so what was the issue?</p><p>“I don’t know what to do when students do things outside of my understanding of them.” </p><p>“In what way?” Hubert’s curiosity seemed to be piqued by this as well. </p><p>“Leonie declared herself my rival. I don’t know why.” Tate started, but the way she wasn’t looking at them, instead studying the ground, Edelgard suspected this wasn’t it. “My brother spoke with her about it.”</p><p>“An unwilling rival is a frustrating thing to have.” Edelgard at least could relate to that and hoped it coaxed more out of Tate. Ferdinand had been decreasing his frustrating behaviors towards her, but it was still a matter of great annoyance to her.</p><p>“Perhaps it is an unfortunate trait in redheads?” Hubert gave a mean little smirk of his. </p><p>Tate almost looked like she flinched - or at least twitched. What was this?</p><p>“Professor?” Edelgard looked at her strangely. She was pretty sure Hubert was not onto something about redheads having a ‘rivalry’ trait, but had something about his statement set her off? Or just Hubert himself?</p><p>Tate seemed to weigh her choices and then just quietly said, “Someone made a threat against me, claimed to be a joke. I am still unsettled.” </p><p>Immediately Edelgard turned to her companion, “Hubert…” </p><p>Hubert’s brows raised, “I am surprised as you are, Lady Edelgard. I have not seen our Professor yet today. She also does not usually become incensed by my threats. Though attempting to ply me with coffee if one felt I was displeased enough to make an attempt on their life is quite an interesting thought.” </p><p>“You do admit to threatening her, however.” Edelgard frowned minutely. She really generally turned a blind eye to him acting as he did, but perhaps she shouldn’t?</p><p>“Not Hubert.” Tate spoke up quickly. “Hubert’s threats are alright.”</p><p>Both looked at her in surprise. </p><p>“Professor?” Edelgard blinked at her, brows raised.</p><p>“How odd.” Hubert gave a soft huff of a laugh to hide his own surprise.</p><p>“I would be more concerned if he weren’t.” Tate explained, “A snake’s nature is to hiss at predators and to bite or constrict. It is Hubert’s nature to loom ominously and sneer and make veiled threats. It could almost be called how he shows affection.” </p><p>Edelgard covered her mouth to laugh quietly at that, glancing to her oldest friend fondly. Hubert really did make dark jokes and try to scare people for fun. </p><p>For his part, Hubert was trying to mask his mix of surprise and amusement at being told he wasn’t scary to someone, to have his entire demeanor treated as a casual and expected part of their day. </p><p>“But you did flinch at what he said. If it wasn’t at Hubert himself...was there some truth to what he said?” Edelgard peered at Tate again, curious. </p><p>Tate looked away quickly, once more seeming nervous. </p><p>Hubert turned to look more carefully at their Professor now. His single visible eye was scanning Tate’s features before he seemed to reach a conclusion. “Either our Professor has had an extremely unfortunate run-in with Annette while trying to bake, there is more to the ‘rivalry’ with Miss Pinnelli than she has stated...or she’s become the target of the Monastery’s resident womanizer in a most concerning fashion.” </p><p>Edelgard glanced over to him, wondering at this. It was unlike him to skip an opportunity to say something snide about Ferdinand.</p><p>Hubert looked back at her briefly, then gave a low sigh. “Loathe as I am to admit it, I do not think Ferdinand could possibly upset our Professor other than by being too loud for her and I believe she has become startled by him less as the term has progressed. Besides the fact that I do not think he could or would threaten her.” </p><p>“Ferdie has been working on being less loud suddenly around myself and Bernadetta.” Tate agreed, seeming to relax just a little. “He tries very hard to please.”</p><p>It was hard to not smile just a little in pride at that. Her Professor, not even when feeling upset, could not resist praising her class. Teaching may not be her chosen vocation, but the Black Eagles were her chosen House and she was devoted to them. </p><p>“I cannot see you being so upset by Annette either, neither of them are the type to issue threats against another person idly and you seem to get along with Annette.” Edelgard suggested, “I have seen you discussing mathematics applications in magic study with her before, and I know you spend a lot of time with her and Mercedes.” </p><p>Tate nodded brightly. “I am trying to understand magic theory better. I need to keep ahead of the class or Hubert will fire me.” This was an obvious attempt at a joke on her part. </p><p>He chuckled darkly, “Most likely in literal fashion, yes. One can never be too cautious when students excel above their teachers.” </p><p>Edelgard smiled a little herself, “So it’s not either of those two.” She considered. Tate would have mentioned more on Leonie if that were it, rather than avoiding it. So that left…oh dear. “Ah, I hope Sylvain’s attempted flirtations have not become questionably physical? If he does anything you do not approve of, you may respond with equal physical force and be completely justified, Professor.” She quite hoped he had not gotten to the point in his desire to chase skirts that he would make advances on an unwilling girl. </p><p>At this, Tate quickly shook her head. “No that isn’t - I expect Sylvain to flirt. Him flirting isn’t unsettling.”</p><p>“But he did do something to make you feel threatened and upset you?” Edelgard narrowed her eyes. </p><p>They had just dealt with a personal family grievance for House Gautier and her Professor had even returned the Lance to the Church to give them. Most would be grateful for such assistance but then, there were complicated matters there. The loss of his brother, whether or not they had been close...it was very likely the sort of thing to leave one a bit more emotionally unpredictable. </p><p>This time, Tate nodded quietly. “I think he is still upset about recent events.” </p><p>“Trying to justify and excuse people who hurt you does nothing for anyone. What did he say that was so offensive?” Hubert cut in sharply. He was perhaps less interested in comforting their Professor and more in learning more of the goings-on at the school, but it was hard to tell with him.</p><p>Edelgard could see the hesitance in Tate’s face and stepped nearer, putting a hand on her arm. “If you do not wish to talk of it, you do not have to. But if it is going to hold you back, it would be wise to-”</p><p>“I realized this may not be the appropriate choice of conversation partners, that is all.” Tate cut with this admission. “I do not wish to be...insensitive.” </p><p>“About?” Edelgard frowned now. She was generally quite good at reading her Professor and usually she didn’t get this...bothered about just talking to her. There were things Tate did not know and so would often be disappointed she could not share them. Very rarely did she know things and then not wish to say them to at least Edelgard herself. </p><p>“Crests.” Tate looked at her oddly, an almost guilt in her eyes.</p><p>They had talked a few times about crests, especially after Tate’s had been discovered. Feeling it would be insensitive to talk to Edelgard about someone threatening her with regards to one seemed strange but perhaps not so much. Her Professor was fond of her and cared very much about her happiness. Being concerned that being upset over something Crest related would be insensitive to Edelgard showed mostly that she thought a great deal of her student’s experiences and pain. That she perhaps thought her own pain lesser than Edelgard’s.</p><p>“I don’t see why he should have been threatening you about them but if it bothered you, it bothered you. I would like to know.” Edelgard moved her hand against the arm she was touching. </p><p>“I should not have called it a threat. It was trivial.” Tate shifted uncomfortably then looked away. “He just said that because I didn’t know I had a Crest, I was free and I was spoiled. He suggested I should pay for it and that he would collect the debt. He said he was joking after. I am likely making a great deal of nothing.”</p><p>Edelgard frowned and squeezed the fist of her free hand. She highly doubted that had actually been an attempt at a joke - joking was just an excuse to get away with being cruel. She might despise Crests for the inequalities they created, for how people allowed them to justify mistreatment of others and vile actions, how it upheld and supported the Nobility system that she hated so much...but victims of that system wishing to punish those who hadn’t been subjected to that system was pointless at best.</p><p>“As something of an expert in masking threats with the veneer of ‘only joking’...that was neither a good threat nor a believable cover. He should perhaps stick to jokes about desiring romantic companions or other people’s dress?” Hubert suggested. </p><p>Edelgard wasn’t sure how to take Hubert’s commentary in this situation and couldn’t decide if it was appropriate to be amused by or not. That was until she heard the quiet little titter from her Professor, covered behind a hand. </p><p>Once more both of the pair looked at her in surprise. </p><p>“Are you feeling a little better then, Professor?” Edelgard asked with a small smile of her own. Tate’s laugh was always very cute and very surprising. </p><p>“Things are less scary when Hubert is making fun of them.” Tate agreed. “He’s better at it than they are.” </p><p>“Better at being scary? High praise indeed, though tainted by your prior admission that you don’t find me very scary.” Hubert observed. </p><p>“I like snakes.” Tate admitted with a slight shrug, “And weird birds.” </p><p>“At first I am a serpent, now I am some kind of fowl?” Hubert asked her, though Edelgard knew him well enough to know he wasn’t engaging with this out of exasperation or anger. He actually seemed amused by the conversation.</p><p>“You seem like you’d like them. Or feathery capes.” Tate nodded. “Or like you would like them if Edelgard did.” </p><p>“A feathered cloak is not a fashion statement outside of my tastes.” Edelgard agreed, just following this topic because it seemed to be calming her teacher. </p><p>“A beaked helm and an elegant cape of feathers for a proper Black Eagle.” Tate showed one of her tiny little smiles in Edelgard’s direction.</p><p>“Yes that would work.” Edelgard agreed, her own smile unable to hide. “It would make the red stand out even more, would it not?” </p><p>“You are prettiest in red, my Lady.” Tate said those words right as Hubert was saying something quite to the same effect, so they finished the final two words at the same time. Tate’s little smile became something more mischievous and Hubert narrowed his eye at her. </p><p>Edelgard couldn’t hold back her own quiet laughter this time. “Well thank you both for your approval of my wardrobe choices.” </p><p>Settling into companionable silence, the three looked out over the grounds together. Tate placed her hand onto the one Edelgard had left on her arm and it was warm and nice even through her gloves. </p><p>“I am glad we were able to make you feel better, my teacher. Things always seem a little better when you’re happy.” Edelgard admitted quietly, glancing at her only briefly. </p><p>“It’s why I was looking for the pair of you.” Tate suggested mildly. </p><p>“How nice of you to include me in your sentiments.” Hubert’s remarks were dry as usual, yet Edelgard knew he was being quite sincere. He may not be quite the same sort of fond of their Professor as she was, but he did seem to appreciate a mentor that was willing to meet him at his level and not try to change him as a person. </p><p>“You are intentionally included.” Tate emphasized her words with a nod, though she didn’t always correctly pair her gestures and her meanings. “I feel happiest with Edelgard and safest with both of you.” </p><p>“I’m not going to stop making threats and carefully watching your movements just because you choose honeyed words, Professor.”</p><p>“Is his job not to be the most unnerving thing present so nothing else dares challenge you?” Tate looked at Edelgard for this question, but that wasn’t her ‘genuine curiosity’ or ‘confusion’ face so it was most likely another joke. </p><p>“That is some of his appeal, yes.” Edelgard agreed, glancing to Hubert with fond amusement. It was not very often she got to tease her friend this way. “He is very efficient in preserving his job security in those matters as well.” </p><p>“Clearly I must conscript him for the same.” </p><p>Hubert brought up one gloved hand to cover a small snort. “I wasn’t aware I could be conscripted in such a fashion.” </p><p>“It’s a very easy job. Just continue looming and threatening me at your leisure, and if someone else tries, I will inform them that the position has already been filled and direct any inquiries to you.” Tate seemed quite pleased with herself for this idea, particularly because Hubert was having to hide a proper amused laugh at it, rather than his usual dark chuckles.</p><p>With a content sigh through her nose, Edelgard laced her fingers with Tate’s, their hands now resting together on the arm Edelgard was holding onto. </p><p>Watching the rain and enjoying the company around her, she wished the world could stop and melt away as it felt like it was now. There were so many dreams and hopes that would line her bloody path to the future, including her own, but for right now she just wanted this. Just a small something to recall what she was fighting for and the humanity she wished to preserve. </p><p>It was then that more hurried footsteps became audible and Edelgard looked up to see a frantic Seteth rushing around. Immediately, the trio perked up, more attentive than previously. This could mean more serious missions ahead.</p><p>When Seteth spotted them, he made no move to curb the splash of water as he pulled up short and said quickly, “Have any of you seen Flayn?” </p><p>Tate took the lead on speaking in this case, as she usually did in matters with the school. “No, not today. Have either of you?” She glanced to each of them briefly. </p><p>“We have not.” Edelgard agreed. She could tell Hubert wanted to ask further but was refraining. </p><p>“I will keep an eye out.” Tate assured him and Seteth was quickly on his way again. She looked blankly after him then said, “I wonder if he will report this to Lady Rhea. It may well interrupt our mission assignment this afternoon if he cannot find her.”</p><p>“She is not generally hard to locate at the Monastery, but then, she is also usually under Seteth’s ever-watchful eye.” Hubert noted, observing the direction Seteth left. </p><p>Tate suddenly looked down, seemingly recalling something as she drew her hand away from Edelgard’s, worrying at a button on her coat with her fingertips instead.</p><p>“Professor? What is it?” Edelgard asked. </p><p>“I...saw a note in the Advice Box recently I believed to be from Flayn. She thought someone was watching her…” Tate worried her button a bit more, “I thought it was just Seteth being protective again...I said it was probably the Goddess watching over her.” </p><p>“It isn’t as if you could have known. That is the usual case with them.” Edelgard suggested, looking out towards the grounds then exchanging a quick glance with Hubert. “If she remains missing, we will do our utmost to find her.”</p><p>She had passed the service of her agent at the Monastery into the temporary command of her allies. If anyone could access Flayn easily, it would likely be him. But why her? For all Edelgard understood those of the Church were beasts, monsters, she still felt a visceral disgust at the idea of a young girl being snatched up. Even if Flayn was more a young girl in appearance and manner only. </p><p>Tate looked up, a serious determination on her face. She reached over to touch Edelgard’s hand once more, just briefly, then adjusted her coat across her shoulders. </p><p>“I am going to get some dry things together and prepare for meeting the Archbishop. I will find you later to confirm our mission for the month. A pleasant afternoon to you both.” She nodded to them then stepped out into the rain once more, walking through it as if untouched and unconcerned now that she had something on her mind.</p><p>“Lady Edelgard, if I may make an observation?” Hubert asked, once they were alone again.</p><p>“Of course, Hubert.” Edelgard glanced up at him briefly. </p><p>“If you persist in seeking this relationship, while still pursuing your goals, I believe your conflicts of interest may continue to grow, my Lady.” </p><p>Edelgard turned her gaze back towards the empty grounds before them and the slowly diminishing rains. “What would you have me do?” Was it so very wrong of her to wish to reach out? To want to have someone else in her life whom she was close, who she might even feel closer to an equal with?</p><p>“I cannot say. Your judgment will always be final.” Hubert said, “I only state what I have noticed, you may use it as you see fit.” </p><p>“Do you blame me?” she asked him, keeping her eyes on his face this time to meet his gaze. “Do you see it as a weakness?”</p><p>Hubert looked to her then looked down again. “I cannot blame you, my Lady, and I would not even if I could.” He paused before adding, distantly, “If we were able to make a proper ally of her, I would have far less objections to that than to some. As much of an unknown as she is, she is only one person, and that will always be more manageable.”</p><p>Edelgard huffed with mild amusement. “It is quite like you to couch any approval of someone in terms of practical use rather than feeling. I should have expected it.” In truth, she had. Still, it was good to know she was not alone in being able to be swayed, even a bit.</p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Jeralt can have one dadding around chapter, as a treat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The entire Monastery was in an uproar. Flayn, Seteth’s “little sister” had disappeared and he was understandably beside himself. The knights were searching nonstop but with no leads, Seteth was going increasingly paler to the point Jeralt was pretty sure he might just turn transparent. It was extremely hard to watch.</p><p>It wasn’t like he didn’t get it either. Jeralt knew damn well he would do anything to protect his children. He had before, he would again if necessary. So Seteth’s complete dread over Flayn being just mysteriously gone was completely familiar to him. There was just very little they could do with no leads and needing to actually stay and coordinate the ones doing the real searching. </p><p>Jeralt decided it was probably best to get the man to stop pacing around anyway. He headed to the Advisory Room to find him. It took a lot of steeling himself to not tense at passing Rhea in the Audience Chamber but still. </p><p>“Try not to worry, we are looking for her.” Tate suggested quietly. Jeralt winced. His daughter was not quite good at the ‘comforting people’ thing yet. Not that he was great at it himself - gee where’d she get it from? - but still, he knew that wasn’t going to go over well.</p><p>“You ask the impossible. Oh Flayn...” Seteth began, voice still so frantic, aching with worry for his lost child. </p><p>“Sorry to cut in here, kiddo.” Jerlat entered the room and gave his daughter a reassuring pat on the arm before moving over to Seteth. “Go on back to your search. I’ll keep an eye on Seteth.” </p><p>Tate looked from him back to Seteth then nodded swiftly and exited the room in a swift dash. </p><p>“Thank you.” Seteth nodded to him. </p><p>“Oh we’re not done here. Come on, you’ve been pacing a hole in the floor. You need a chance of pace and fast. You’re not going to be conscious by the time they find her at this rate.” Jeralt said firmly and took Seteth’s arm, pulling the rather sturdily built man along with him. </p><p>Seteth tried to protest but clearly didn’t have the strength for it so just followed along with Jeralt, which was good because Jeralt didn’t want to have to strong-arm the man back to his office. Rhea was already raising her brows at them but said nothing. </p><p>Soon as they were back in Jeralt’s office, he let Seteth go, nudging him to flop on the couch and going to pull out some actually decent alcohol. Whether or not Seteth was the type for it normally, he could probably use a stiff drink today, and not from something cheap from the local taverns or the likes of Manuela’s wine stash. </p><p>“Have there been no further reports from the Knights?” Seteth asked, looking around the room, still visibly stressed. </p><p>“No, and they haven’t had any leads. But between them, the students, and my brats, she’ll be found.” Jeralt finished pouring Seteth a proper glass and passed it to him. “Down the hatch. You’re going to need it to get through today.” </p><p>Seteth stared at the glass offered to him blearily, as if contemplating if it would bite him - or as if debating a three hour lecture on the problems with alcohol. At last he took it and downed it in one. It was that kind of day and Jeralt didn’t blame him.</p><p>Jeralt poured his own drink and refilled Seteth’s. He kept an eye out for if he drank this one too fast again but thankfully that didn’t seem to be the case. </p><p>Not normally a hugely chatty sort, Jeralt felt he probably needed to at least do some of the talking today so sipped his drink and thought of what would even be relevant.</p><p>Seteth beat him to it by commenting quietly, “They’re good people, both of them. Your children, I mean.” </p><p>“Thanks. No idea how they got like that, I had nothing to do with it.” Jeralt suggested dryly, but smiled a bit. “Sorry for Potato’s failed attempts at being comforting. She’s really worried about you but that doesn’t make her any better at feelings.” </p><p>“It doesn’t help that she is unsure of me either.” Seteth admitted, “I have not been the most trusting of your daughter.” </p><p>Jeralt snorted, “Of course not. Why should you be? We show up out of nowhere and Rhea suddenly goes over your head to give the girl a job with no adherence to whatever system you have going? It doesn’t take a lot to see why you’d be worried. Especially with your own - ‘sister’ here.” </p><p>Seteth looked up at him, eyes briefly narrowed and then took another sip before setting his glass down and looking at Jeralt, almost challenging. “Yes, my sister. Much like how your children are not twins and were certainly born years after you left the Monastery.” </p><p>“Exactly.” Jeralt nodded. Seteth got it. Even if he was close to Rhea, he was also a father who knew sometimes you needed to jump through hoops and bend the truth for your kids. </p><p>“You are quite a mystery yourself,” Seteth continued, “I questioned your motives for leaving and for returning. Whether or not you could be trusted.”</p><p>“Same boat, different paddles.” Jeralt nodded again. “Look, I’m not going to expect you to suddenly get chummy with me or want to share your secrets, and I’m not too keen on sharing mine. But...I know at least some of the stress you’re going through and thought you could use the support.” </p><p>Seteth sighed and reached for his drink but decided b etter of it. “I appreciate that. Flayn is…” He put his head in his hands, elbows resting in his lap. </p><p>“She’s your world. I get it.” Jeralt nodded. </p><p>He considered how to get Seteth’s mind off the direct situation and finally decided, “When they were about six or seven, the kids got lost from the company for a bit. My second at the time was supposed to be keeping an eye on them but decided ‘eh i put the brats to bed, let’s go fool around with the local wenches’,” Jeralt stated the story.</p><p>“...Six or seven? Children are prone to waking at night or wandering at that age. That’s horribly irresponsible.” Seteth said, surprise clear on his face.</p><p>“Yeah well that’s why he was my second and isn’t anymore.” Jeralt waved his hand and kept going. “And of course they did wander. Tatey had problems sleeping and would meander looking for me after bad dreams. And if she wanders, her brother would go looking for her because if I’m not around, he was the one who’d comfort her.” </p><p>“So they both got lost. You must have been worried sick.” </p><p>“Well, that and pissed as hell. Punched the guy I left in charge of them, mobilized the whole company to look.” Jeralt sighed and leaned on his hand, remembering where this was going.</p><p>“Where did you find them?” </p><p>Jeralt looked up in frustration as he considered how to put this. “So an hour or so into our search, I hear noises like from some animal. I rush that way in terror. Run up in time to watch my children landing the finishing blows on a bear. My daughter looks up to me, plain as can be and says ‘Oh, there you are. Where did you go? Is there breakfast yet?’.” </p><p>“What did you even say to that?” Seteth asked, looking puzzled and somewhat amused. </p><p>“I said ‘I guess now there is.’ My son was just seething still and just went up and kicked the guy who’d been watching them in the shins, which he deserved so I didn’t comment on it.” </p><p>Seteth picked up his drink once more, shaking his head. “Your son tells stories the way you do.” </p><p>“With more gestures, yeah I’ve noticed.” Jeralt agreed then took up his drink again. “Both of them are a good bit like me and like their mom, just in opposite extremes.” </p><p>“I have noticed that as well.” Seteth nodded. “Flayn...well…”</p><p>“Takes more after her mother, I suppose?” </p><p>“A great deal, yes.” Seteth sighed. “And some other members of my family. I wish her to be happy and able to live her life, but there is so much danger in the world and she’s been hurt far too much already. I just want her safe and whenever I think things are finally settling that’s when they get worse.” </p><p>He was obviously going through those bad mental places again, leaning into his hands again and Jeralt was trying to think of another good distraction.</p><p>It came in a voice from the door going, “Dad!” </p><p>Both Seteth and Jeralt looked up at that quickly, turning to where Jorah had just dashed into the office. Seteth was saying, “What is it?” right as Jeralt said, “Yeah, what, Jor?” </p><p>The young man raised a brow at them and put his hands on his hips. “I’m going to let you two sort out which of you is responding to me coming into a room saying ‘Dad’, and then I’ll talk.” He flashed a light smile, an attempt at easing tension he knew was there.</p><p>Jeralt rolled his eyes. “What’s the news, kid?” </p><p>“I’m just popping in to see if you’ve seen Manuela.”</p><p>“Manuela? Why?” Jeralt tilted his head, trying to recall where he’d last seen her. He hadn’t exactly been looking for Manuela recently seeing as the main concern was over finding Flayn.</p><p>Seteth had returned to holding his head in his hands, given it didn’t seem to be an update on Flayn. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Jorah approaching him. He turned a bit, just to watch them. </p><p>Jorah crouched and put his hands on Seteth’s shoulders. “We’ll find Flayn. I swear it.” He said very seriously, and Jeralt knew him well enough to know that tone meant business. </p><p>“That is all I ask.” Seteth said quietly, nodding. He let Jorah pull him into a half hug then sat back, seemingly trying to catch his breath.</p><p>Jeralt returned to trying to think where he’d last seen Manuela. At last, he recalled where he’d last seen her - it had been weird, now he thought of it. “You’re looking for Manuela, you said? I did pass her earlier. She was carrying something.” He tried to remember what, frowning. “A mask of some sort…”</p><p>Immediately, his son’s eyes narrowed. “Jeritza’s mask. Thanks. That’s what I was worried about.” He agreed and quick as he’d come in, he was gone again.</p><p>Jeralt sighed, finishing his current glass and getting up to refill it. “Well, sounds like Jorah and the nosy boyfriend must have some ideas if he’s in that kind of mood.” <br/>Seteth actually snorted at that. “I have enough trouble with those two as it is.” He finished his own glass and held it out. “This is my last.” </p><p>“Your choice.” Jeralt refilled it first to be polite. “And I’m only kidding. But you have to admit, the von Riegan kid is nosy.” </p><p>Accepting his glass back with an eyeroll, Seteth nodded. “He is. I can only hope it can be put to good use in this instance.”</p><p>“Oh probably. Even if he weren’t motivated to it himself - which I think most of the kids here are at least a little, they seem good sorts - I’m pretty sure their Professors being so concerned will get them moving on it.” </p><p>“You have a point.” Seteth looked distantly out the window of Jeralt’s office, giving a thoughtful hum. “I am...eternally grateful for how well your children treat Flayn. Even though she is not a student, they have been diligent in their kindness to her, consideration for her inclusion in large activities and doing things to make her happy. I have seen both bringing her trinkets or stopping what they’re doing to go fishing for her whims.”</p><p>“Jorah’s been dropping what he’s doing to bend to the whims of his sister since he was little, it’s not going to change with more little sisters to dote on.” Jeralt snorted, “Tatey took to her very well though, I was surprised at first.”</p><p>“Oh?” Seteth raised his brows. Of course he probably would consider any statement against liking Flayn a potential insult of sorts.</p><p>“She’s still learning how to deal with other people, I never know if or who she’s going to take to.” Jeralt clarified, “No offense though, I think Flayn might actually be easier on her than some of them. They both seem to be just out of touch enough with student culture to be able to relate to each other.” </p><p>Seteth sighed at that, “I...yes. I can see how that would be the case. Flayn doesn’t have many friends and we lived away from others for a long time. It is taking her time to gain companions. Their combined unfamiliarity with others can be a source of companionship, I agree.” </p><p>“Still, I am grateful they have seemed to claim her as one of their own. They are very fond of the students and of her, and I cannot help but be glad of it. Especially...especially during times such as these…” Seteth looked away again and the feelings seemed to be setting in again.</p><p>Jeralt nudged the drink in his hand. “Finish your glass before you get all misty-eyed. It’s going to be a long day.” </p><p>The pair of them were seated quietly in the office for a while, waiting for news and coordinating the occasional patrols of the Knights. Eventually - probably more like half an hour later, if Jeralt had to seriously think about it - Alois joined them.</p><p>“Aha, good to find you both here.” He entered the room, looking between them seriously. “I tell you, the Monastery is in a right state. Even the students are getting involved.” </p><p>“Alois,” Jeralt greeted him with a sigh, “Yes, I’ve heard. I’ve also seen both of mine come around asking questions so you don’t have to update us on that either.”</p><p>“Yes, those two are searching alright. They’ve been following up on students’ leads - or at least their suspicions - to try to find clues or at least calm things down.” Alois was being cagey about how he said it, which meant he was probably feeling ruffled about some of it.</p><p>“Who offended you and what did they do?” Jeralt sipped his drink. Seteth had switched to water and Jeralt had one of those on hand too, but he tended to reach for his flask when needing to deal with Alois for too long.</p><p>“Your daughter had the audacity to ask if I had anything to do with Flayn’s disappearance.” Alois huffed. “I know she’s just doing her job but me! Really!”</p><p>“She probably was just trying to get an answer to whatever the student who put her up to it was concerned about so she could go calm them down like you said.” Jeralt waved him off. “No one thinks you could kidnap a houseplant, let alone a kid. You’ve got your own at home anyway, that’s enough to deal with.”</p><p>“I’d be distraught if anything happened to my little girl as well.” Alois nodded, “I’m not really offended about it. Your daughter’s one of the only ones who seems to not mind my jokes. She at least stands there till I finish them anyway -”</p><p>“Get to the point.” Jeralt huffed. Tate probably did like his stupid jokes though likely not because she found them funny. More likely she found Alois harmless and friendly, if overwhelming, and so would pay attention to his jokes if they made him happy to tell. Jeralt was proud she was learning how to deal with people in her own way, even if it was worrisome doing so around here. </p><p>“My point was you should keep an eye out for her. If she questions the other Knights the way she questioned me, she might make some enemies, even by accident. She’s a sweet kid - strange, but sweet - and I don’t want her getting in trouble when she’s just trying to help.” Alois huffed as he went through his explanation.</p><p>Jeralt waved it off, “She’s a big girl, she can take care of herself. Besides, if she’s looking into it, so’s her brother and he can talk to people just fine.” He paused then added, “Mind you, if one of them says the wrong thing he might punch them. But that’ll be a good lesson in not saying insensitive things during a search mission.” <br/>“I hope you’re right-what was that!” Alois was interrupted by the sounds of a commotion down the hall. </p><p>Immediately Jeralt was up and joined him at the door. He saw a flash of red and blue little capes heading into the infirmary. Students? Those two were the royal brats he was pretty sure. </p><p>“Captain, go sit down. I’ll investigate and report back.” Alois said firmly and put a hand on Jeralt’s chest. “Keep Seteth here.” That part was said much lower - it seemed Alois had learned some tact in the past several years. </p><p>Jeralt nodded and returned to his seat. </p><p>Seteth had noticed they were talking but just took another drink of his water. “I must say, I’m surprised you think your son would punch anyone. He doesn’t seem quite the type.” </p><p>Jeralt looked at him in surprise, snorting. “Really? My hot tempered eldest doesn’t seem like he’d punch somebody?” </p><p>“If he’s hot tempered, I have yet to see it.” Seteth admitted, “I have seen him sing in the choir, dashing about the grounds giving a lecture on the arts and I’ve seen him teach. But I have never seen him angry. Nor his sister, for that matter.”</p><p>“That’s a good thing.” Jeralt admitted. “It means no one’s done anything worthy of them being angry. You’ll know when you see it though.” </p><p>“What should I watch out for?” Seteth inquired, probably just trying to distract himself again to keep from wanting to rush out and investigate the hall Alois had left for.</p><p>“Let’s see…” Jeralt leaned back and considered, “Tatey, it’s a feeling. Anger’s one of the only things she expresses very easily. It’s like the chill in the air when you know it’s going to snow. She could stare down an inferno if she was the right kind of upset.”</p><p>Seteth huffed an almost-laugh, “I’ve seen her accept missions and how serious she gets about those. I imagine it’s a furthering of that.”</p><p>“Something like it. You see how she is about the brats. Rhea can favor her and give her all the...powerful ancient relics she wants,” Jeralt shuddered a bit at that, “But nothing’s going to get her as worked up as one of those kids will.” </p><p>“That bodes...concerningly but alright.” Seteth looked like he had the same thoughts about Rhea’s actions there as Jeralt himself. Who gave a teenager an ancient and powerful relic? Especially a teenager who didn’t know you very well? </p><p>“And Jorah?” Seteth looked up at him, “If he’s so hot tempered, I imagine it’s easier to spot coming.”</p><p>“Yup. Rolling thunder. He gets loud and shouty when he’s punchy. If he’s going quieter, he’s usually past the punchy stage.” Jeralt nodded. “Mind you I’ve seen that one only rarely myself. He and I only get into it now and then these days, and he’ll storm off before it gets too serious.” </p><p>“You two fight?” Seteth raised his brows. </p><p>Jeralt looked down at his flask like it had answers. It didn’t, it just had whiskey, but that was still easier to look at than Seteth. “Neither of my kids were built for the life we led. I did what I could for their safety but, well, you know safety and happiness don’t always go together in those cases. My daughter’s still learning what happiness is for her and taking that at her pace...even if I don’t know how to help nudge that pace along at all. My son… he found his voice and screeched and screeched till he found the strength to take a flying leap out of the nest as soon as he found his wings.”</p><p>“I understand.” Seteth huffed a breath, “I have been having both of those problems in equal measure with Flayn. Now with this...I don’t know if I need to hold her tighter or what. Not knowing what happens makes not knowing what to do worse.”</p><p>“Well if she fights with you, it’s at least something.” Jeralt offered. “Having one that’s not as open and more obedient is double-edged. You can decide things and know you’ll be obeyed, but you’ll never be truly sure if it’s right or if they’re just doing as you want because you want it. Can never be sure if they love you or just think of you as a jailer either.” </p><p>Seteth shuddered. “Just the same, hearing them be open about thinking you’re their jailer is just as painful.” </p><p>“Sure is.” Jeralt agreed, “You can only try to listen, pay attention, and keep doing what you’re doing and try to fix what you break. Or well, it’s what I do. We’ll see how it works out for me.” </p><p>With a clatter, Alois dashed back into the room. “There’s been some progress!” </p><p>“What?” Seteth was standing almost immediately and so was Jeralt.</p><p>“We haven’t found her yet but - the House Leaders and Professor Hanneman just carried Professor Manuela back to the infirmary.” Alois explained, somewhat breathless. “Took a little to get anyone to stop and talk to me!”</p><p>“What happened to Manuela?” Jeralt asked, used to getting info out of Alois like this.</p><p>“She was found stabbed in Jeritza’s room. It’s believed she may have tried to confront him there. The students were also talking about whatever was happening in his room, but I didn’t get most of it. They’ve gone back to fetch other students to help or something of the kind.” </p><p>“Sounds like they finished with questions and went after him.” Jeralt commented. It had probably been pretty soon after his son left after asking about Manuela that people managed to be wrangled enough and finish confirming Jeritza was nowhere to be found. “Gather the Knights. We shouldn’t just be having students doing this alone. And even if they manage to find Flayn, we’re going to want them ready to set out to work on next steps.” </p><p>Seteth stood and Jeralt could already tell he was going to start pacing again. “Jeritza. I had my suspicions about him but he has managed to stay under my notice for quite a while now. I must redouble my efforts to check into everyone who-”</p><p>“Seteth, shut up.” Jeralt said seriously, putting a hand on his shoulder. “First things first. Berating yourself won’t help. You can consider your security tactics when your girl is safe and you’ve cooled down.” </p><p>“Then what is first, if I may ask?” Seteth snapped.</p><p>Jeralt probably would have answered but the loud footsteps of boots on the stones were heard and quickly his daughter rushed into the room. Just as Jeralt had said, she was silent but glaring - not at either of them, just in general. An icy seethe that could freeze a man’s blood in his veins and was only warmed by her speedy motions. </p><p>Tate rushed over and grabbed Seteth’s arm, hauling him with her out of the room. Jeralt followed quickly, knowing exactly what it had to mean if she was dragging Seteth around like this. </p><p>Up the stairs, still in his combat armor and cape billowing behind him came Jorah carrying an unconscious Flayn. His face was still thunderous and he was tense, scaring the hell out of the shrinky archer from the Black Eagles that was skittering about trying to direct their progress towards the infirmary and holding doors. Behind him, that big blonde boy from the Golden Deer was carrying some redhead. Jeralt didn’t see Jeritza but he could kind of gather what had happened. </p><p>“Flayn!” Seteth tried to rush forward and had to be held back from tripping by Tate’s grip on him and Jeralt reaching out to grab the back of his robes and pull him up. </p><p>Jorah stopped, letting the other student by him so that Seteth could get closer to Flayn. Seteth wanted to carry her the rest of the way to the infirmary himself, but that was no surprise.</p><p> </p><p>Tate stood out of the way and directed the others silently now she’d properly retrieved the man to get back to his daughter. She let go and moved to go fuss over her shrinking violet student instead, pulling the girl into a darker alcove and patting her head, quietly saying something to her that ended in, “you can go back to your room now,” which seemed to relieve the girl immensely.</p><p>Putting out a hand, Jeralt caught Jorah’s arm. Tate returned to them and he smiled at his kids. “You two did good today. Are you feeling alright?” </p><p>“He got away…” Tate said, still looking quite displeased about it, but softened now she’d talked to her student.</p><p>“I was ready to take his head off. We should have fought him last time when we had the chance.” Jorah snarled. </p><p>“He’d have probably teleported away again.” Tate observed.</p><p>“You’re right. He managed to escape before, and he did again.” Jorah took a deep breath and hung his head. “I’m just so mad he was able to hurt Flayn.”</p><p>“Have you and Seteth been alright?” Tate looked up at Jeralt again. They’d both really not responded about themselves, still caught up in the situation.</p><p>“We’ve been fine but how are you two?” Jeralt repeated. “Actually answer me this time- I need to know my kids are ok after this. You both look a mess.”</p><p>Tate frowned and seemed to be puzzling through the words for how she felt. Feeling was still new for her so that was expected, really. He previously would just ask if she felt injured or hungry when it was things like this, since she didn’t have many other answers. Now he was trying to expand that. </p><p>“I’ll feel better when this is more settled and we know she’s been seen to and I’ve done a headcount on my class.” Jorah answered. </p><p>Tate nodded emphatically to that. “I want to be sure I know where all my Eagles are. We only had some of the students with us below. I want to be sure they are all alright after and the ones who didn’t go are still safe.” </p><p>“You get really agitated about your students, huh? He probably hasn’t been able to grab another but we’ll check on them.” Jeralt assured her.</p><p>Right then there was another clatter on the stairs nearby and like a trio of rodents poking out looking for danger, all three House Leaders popped up. </p><p>“We heard you returned with Flayn.” The blonde prince spoke up quickly, sounding quite relieved. “I will go inform Professor Hanneman that I’ve assembled the Blue Lions in our classroom. I’m glad you’re both okay.” </p><p>After he dashed off, his daughter’s House Leader and favorite student came over to stand by her and look her over. Immediately, his daughter stepped aside to talk to her. “My teacher, you look tired. I passed Bernadetta on my way here. The others will be in our classroom. I’m just glad Flayn is safe...I see you smiling. I hope you’re happy with our performance today as well.”</p><p>Jeralt was pretty sure he was mistaken hearing that, because Tate did not smile, but perhaps the other girl was seeing things or learning her own interpretations of moods. With his daughter facing away from him, he couldn’t tell. But she did already look lighter seeing the other girl.</p><p>Looking to his son and his ever-nosy House Leader, Jeralt was more pleased to see the boy not scared off by how serious and stormy Jorah still looked. He’d been a bit worried the jokey kid would not be able to handle any of the more serious moods rather than his usual indulgent leanings with this one.</p><p>“Come on, Teach. I got to miss you trying to punch the Death Knight in the face, don’t let me also miss you smiling after. You got Flayn out of there safely, didn’t you? That’s what matters.” He rested an elbow on Jorah’s shoulder and leaned on his own arm, taking full advantage of Jorah being both taller and solidly built to pose as silly as he seemed to feel necessary.</p><p>“Leonie’s going to be offended you were shamelessly silly in front of my Dad and didn’t even acknowledge him, you know.” Jorah responded mildly and cracked a half smile.</p><p>“Are you embarrassed of me now? Can’t even take me being shamelessly silly in front of your Dad, Teach?” </p><p>“If you’re going to be like that, Claude.” Immediately Jorah reached down and hefted the boy up and over his shoulder, and started walking back towards the stairs that way, one arm bracing the young man’s legs, the other raised in a short wave as he left. “See you later, Dad. I’m going to go count my Deer.” </p><p>Claude, over Jorah’s shoulder and staring back at Jeralt, seemed to be both delighted and embarrassed by this given his grin and the fact his cheeks had darkened considerably. He gave a dramatic shrug and just leaned his elbow on Jorah’s back to rest his chin on his hand again. “This is what I get, I guess. Better enjoy the ride.” </p><p>“That’s the spirit.” Jeralt agreed, “Have fun you two.” </p><p>His daughter and her companion had stopped to watch those two leave and Jeralt caught Tate giving her student a look.</p><p>“Well, I’m glad you didn’t deign to carry me off in that fashion, though I can’t help thinking Claude has got what he deserved.” </p><p>“I would not carry you in so silly a fashion. You could sit on my shoulder if you wanted though. It would be more elegant.” Tate suggested. </p><p>Jeralt had to stare at them, puzzled as they walked off. Given the reaction from the other girl - Edelgard he was pretty sure her name was - he had to wonder if that had been a joke. Tate didn’t exactly joke much though so that may require inquiry later. </p><p>He gave a tired sigh and stretched. This had been difficult but in the end, went better than expected. That’s all he could hope. He’d have to go check on Seteth later to make sure he didn’t get too many silly ideas about berating himself or getting strict on his daughter so soon. That always ended badly. </p><p>But that was a later problem. Right now, he was going to go grab a nap in his office.</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Dimitri pals around with Claude and watches some fishing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I can’t believe we managed to miss that entire fight.” Claude lamented, leaning forward on a short wall overlooking the pond. </p><p>Dimitri nodded silently, and stepped closer to join him at the wall. He couldn’t quite bring himself to mimic Claude’s casual pose so merely rested his arms on top of it and stood straight, looking out over the grounds. “It is a shame. We would need the extra training this month as it is.”</p><p>“I am more just...so upset that I did not get to see the attempt to punch the giant creepy armored knight on horseback.” </p><p>That got Dimitri laughing again, “I agree. That would have been quite a sight. I understand they were teamed up against him? That is what Ashe said anyway. I'd have liked to really see them both fighting given I will likely face them both soon if the Blue Lions have any hope of winning this month.” </p><p>“You wish, Your Highness." Claude nudged him then continued, "The story I got told was Raphael was to stay and stand guard over the limp ladies, and-”</p><p>Dimitri had to cut Claude off with a laugh almost immediately. “Claude! How can you say such things so easily?”</p><p>“Practice, obviously. Anyway!” Claude gestured, “What I was told was everyone else was given free rein to trash the place. Anyone that crossed their path was an enemy so just go for it, and if they found anything, grab it, they’d sort it out later. Apparently as soon as they caught sight of the locked room in the center, they just...bumped shoulders, exchanged a nod, and turned to tell Lysithea and Linhardt to Warp them in that room.” </p><p>Dimitri gasped, “That sounds...unbelievably dangerous. Without knowing what's actually in the room or how many enemies-” </p><p>“Well yeah but you saw how pissed they were when we found Manuela. There was no way they were getting through that place without laying some serious hurt on something.” </p><p>“Too true.” Dimitri sighed, shaking his head. “I’m just glad everyone made it out okay. That could have gone far worse.” </p><p>“It really could have…” Claude made a grumbly sound, “You know, besides not seeing the fight itself, I’m upset I wasn’t there to see that ‘boss’ of the Death Knight’s that popped up. The Flame Emperor or whatever it was. Why does everything we do lead to more unanswered questions?”</p><p>Dimitri was quieter about that one, but he did agree. The more questions they found the worse everything felt, and the more sickeningly worried he was about how everything seemed to be going. It was like his life was just a series of unanswered questions and horrible events happening to those around him. The way he was haunted by the lives lost around him frequently made him wake choking for breath or worse. He was glad Flayn had not been another added to the list of lives he failed to protect. </p><p>Dimitri must’ve zoned out too long thinking about his own life and situation because Claude suddenly was climbing up to sit on the wall and kneeing his arm, “His back is not THAT interesting. Or are you trying to participate in the Fishing Competition with your mind?” </p><p>"Ah no, I was lost in thought, I apologise." Dimitri admitted.</p><p>"Well be lost in thought staring at your own Professor. That one's mine." Claude joked, grin so defiant and cheeky that Dimitri couldn't help but laugh. There was no way he actually meant that too seriously.</p><p>"Is that how it is? I see.” Deciding to try dipping his toes in the humor water again, he leaned forward to mimic Claude’s earlier pose some, and give a shrug, “I don’t know, I could probably win him over.” </p><p>Claude gaped for a second and Dimitri almost felt bad before seeing the color return to darken the other boy’s cheeks. Claude leaned in and pushed at his arm some. </p><p>“Oh you’re on. Sorry, your Princeliness, but try to get what’s mine and you’ll be sorry. I’m more than willing to fight dirty.” He once again did not sound or act at all serious about this and it didn’t feel like a proper threat.</p><p>Still, Dimitri gave a nervous laugh and shook his head. “I wouldn’t actually try to come between you two.” He assured him.</p><p>“You were doing so well for a bit there.” Claude rolled his eyes, giving an exasperated sigh with a lopsided grin and nudging Dimitri, “Anyway I knew that - besides the fact you <i>couldn’t</i> even if you tried, I’m pretty sure your tastes tend towards a bit more big and stoic than chatty and goes on rambly tangents about theater.”</p><p>Dimitri looked out at the water again - pointedly away from where Jorah was seated on the dock this time - and gave a thoughtful hum. “My tastes you say.” </p><p>What were his tastes? Well..ok he knew what Claude was actually hinting at. Or who, rather. And he wasn’t wrong, necessarily.</p><p>“It’s not quite a matter of taste that way, not completely. It’s also...just deeper than that. Emotionally?” He cared very deeply for Dedue and it was sometimes still hard to wrap his brain around it. With so many other things for them to think about and how stiff their relationship could be at times, Dimitri felt somewhat flustered and overwhelmed by those feelings. Especially as they were so different from the flustered childhood crushes he’d had before. </p><p>“You don’t actually have to justify that to me, you know that right?” Claude returned to sitting up properly - as properly as one can sit on a half-wall kicking their legs anyway. </p><p>“Ah, yes, I do - know that, I mean. I do know that, not I do have to justify it.” Dimitri blushed at his own awkwardness and turned his face away. “I do sometimes just want to think or talk about my feelings. I apologize.”</p><p>“What? You don’t have to apologize for that. I’m sorry I didn’t get that’s what was happening here.” Claude waved his hands quickly at it then sighed resting his chin on his hand and plopping his elbow in his lap to support it, now starting to resemble a stone statue on a palace rooftop with his posing on the wall. </p><p>Dimitri gave a quiet laugh, “You can’t sit still for long can you?” </p><p>Claude blinked, turning back to him then leaned his whole body a little sideways, considering. “I can, if I have to. I just don’t have a lot of motivation to otherwise. What’s the point of sitting still when everything around you is in motion at all times?” </p><p>Here, Dimitri gave him a concerned look. “If everything around you is moving, that sounds like a sign of dizziness. You should check with Manuela about-”</p><p>“I didn’t mean literally!” Claude flailed his free hand quickly. “Just..everything is changing in the world, every day. There’s things happening, places to be, things to do, people to meet, new ideas to learn, dreams to chase. It’s hard not to want to move with all of it. To move with the feelings it gives just feels natural to me.” He had braced one leg against the wall he was sitting on and had begun to bounce it excitedly as he talked, a tick Claude was probably not even paying attention to currently, too wrapped up in his words.</p><p>Dimitri gave a thoughtful hum and looked out at the grounds again to not stare at his classmate’s movements. Instead, he ended up focusing in on someone else moving about the grounds around the lake. It was rather easy to focus on this target, given what he was spotting.</p><p>“Ah speaking of Professors…” they hadn’t been, at least in a bit, but he was pretty sure he could get away with the topic change.</p><p>“Hm?” Dimitri caught Claude’s eyes returning first to Jorah still seated comfortably on the dock before catching on it was the other in question and jumping to Tate. “Oh, I see. Somebody’s enthusiastic for a change.”</p><p>Enthusiastic was certainly the best way to put it. Her face was still plain, barely a smile on it, but it seemed Tate was finding her own ways to show off her interest in the event. She had donned an old and floppy brown hat with several patches on it, and thicker boots than usual. Currently, she was standing in front of Petra and comparing the sizes of a caught fish and on hers being deemed longer, did a little bounce in place on the balls of her feet. </p><p>“I don’t think I’ve seen her do that one before.” Dimitri commented on the bounce. Petra even imitated it and the two seemed to be amused and celebrating. </p><p>“I’m not around her enough to know but I think it’s new. Edelgard would know better but of course she’s <i>so busy</i> right now with Monica~” Claude’s voice took on a higher register at the end in what was either a bizarre impression of Monica - or maybe Hilda? - or just a shift for drama to express his irritation at the excuse. Probably both. </p><p>“Claude, don’t be unkind. She has just recovered from a great trauma and from losing a whole year of her schooling. It will take a lot to help her get back into the swing of things.” Dimitri couldn’t help smiling all the same. “I am glad she and Flayn are safe.”</p><p>“I’m glad of that too, I just think she’s weird. She’s way too chipper right now. Hilda pointed it out too.” Claude made that slightly sour thoughtful face he got when he was thinking too hard about something or another. Dimitri was starting to learn to recognize it. </p><p>“I don’t think either of us are allowed to talk about others acting better than they feel.” </p><p>“Too true - at least usually. But I don’t know. Something about it bugs me. And it bugged Hilda - and I’ve learned, Hilda’s got way more instinct for these things than she’ll let on to just anyone.” Claude paused and turned to him, about to say something else.</p><p>“I know, I didn’t hear that and am not to repeat it?” Dimitri smiled.</p><p>Claude returned the smile, “Exactly. Anyway Hilda can see through ME so she’s not bad at this. If Monica’s setting her off, I’d be wary.”</p><p>“Luckily she’s not in our classes. I am sure Edelgard can handle her.” Despite his words, Dimitri was now wondering. After all, he didn’t know Monica and didn’t particularly want to be suspicious of a stranger...but Claude was also better at understanding emotions and people than he was. Did something seem off about her?</p><p>“That’s another thing. Why cling so tightly to Edelgard not the actual Professor in the class?” </p><p>Dimitri frowned and considered. Was that something worth worrying about? “Perhaps it is easier to relate to someone her own…..hm.” That didn’t work. Tate was too close in age to them for it to be a matter of age. “Perhaps someone so...energetic so soon after injuries doesn’t feel as comfortable with her Professor, given her manner of expression. Not everyone relates easily to everyone else, and she may not know her Professor as well as even you or I may.”</p><p>“I just find it weird, that’s all. But it’s one more weird thing in the pile of weird things here, I guess.” Claude shrugged. </p><p>Both were startled away from their discussion by a loud and frustrated voice nearby. “What?! If you’ve got all this free time, shouldn’t you be spending it on your students?” </p><p>Dimitri noticed Claude wincing as both turned to look at Leonie who was giving a frustrated look at Tate. It seemed the other girl had come over to say hello to her on her way to compare fish with Ashe and Ignatz on the other side of the pond. </p><p>Claude made a grumbly noise and spoke under his breath. “What do you even care what she’s doing with her free time? It’s not hurting anyone.” </p><p>Tate tilted her head to the side, “Do you need something?” </p><p>“Wha- No! I’m just asking why you aren’t preparing for the battle of the Eagle and Lion. Both of you!” There was a gesture in the direction of Jorah’s back. </p><p>Claude seemed to be debating stepping in or if he wanted to deal with a fight. Dimitri, looking at the young Professor, felt he was catching a tinge of a familiar awkwardness he himself felt with others. Especially about duties.</p><p>Stepping away from the wall, he quickly woke up.</p><p>“That isn’t fair, Leonie. Students from several Houses are participating in this event, and it’s good for some to have morale. Not everyone is eagerly awaiting the Battle this month.” Dimitri suggested.</p><p>“Flayn is also in our House now and just had a rough last month. Her brother deciding to do something nice for her makes sense, and the Professors participating helps her out. And that’s better for us in the long run.” Claude seemed to have decided to appeal possibly the more practical reasons than the emotional. Dimitri was pretty sure he didn’t actually think a fishing contest helped the Golden Deer’s chances of victory one way or another.</p><p>Leonie looked at them then scratched her arm. “I guess you’re right. I’m probably getting too hyped up for the competition.” </p><p>Tate tilted her head again, looking at Leonie. It almost seemed like she was assessing how to take an apology then bounced a bit and reached up, pulling a little worn object off her hat to hold out to Leonie.</p><p>“...a fishing lure? Why? I’m still not interested in this contest.” Leonie looked at it oddly.</p><p>Shaking her head, Tate continued to hold it out. “My father’s lucky lure.” </p><p>Claude whistled, “That’s a peace offering if I ever heard of one, Leonie.” </p><p>“Really? I can have this?” Leonie stared then took it quickly before her mind was changed. “That’s great, thanks!”</p><p>Dimitri settled back against the wall now that seemed settled. “I’m glad that was able to be resolved.”</p><p>“I’m glad that didn’t get worse. I did not want to see Teach mad over this.” Claude admitted, looking back the other way. “If it kept going he was probably going to see.” </p><p>“I do not think I wish to see him angered again so soon.” Dimitri glanced back over. Jorah seemed to have stayed unawares of the entire business because he was currently over talking to Flayn and washing his hands. He’d probably been distracted the entire time, which was good. He wouldn’t have taken well to his student arguing with his sister.</p><p>“I don’t think you do. I’m curious how the mock battle is going to go, if we’ll be pitting the pair of you against each other.” Claude gave him a wry grin.</p><p>“Not going to fight me yourself, Claude? I’m disappointed.” He wasn’t truly, but that was mostly because he didn’t think Claude was being completely serious.</p><p>“Come on, you think we’re foolish enough to take you solo? I’ll be backing him up of course.~” </p><p>“Claude, are you giving out our strategies already? Or is this scheme 321A, give out fake strategies to the point they don’t know which are the real ones?” Jorah had made his way over to them, drying his hands. He’d probably just washed them to get the scent of fish off.</p><p>“You’ve started numbering my schemes? Teach, I’m not going to remember that.” Claude snorted.</p><p>“Claude if you had more than 321 schemes, I don’t think you’d remember enough of them at once to number them.” Jorah pointed out. He was leaning on the wall beneath them and grinning up. </p><p>“Ah, you have a point.” Claude sighed and gave a wide shrug of sorts. </p><p>“I take it your fish wasn’t the one being sought?” Dimitri asked, given he’d seen Jorah going to talk to Flayn. </p><p>“Nope, afraid not. That’s fine though. I gave it a shot. Tatey’s the better fisher, she’ll probably get it when she’s done playing.” </p><p>“Are you done fishing then? Good.” Claude said. “Come up here, I can’t reach you down there.” He stretched his legs down in an attempt to poke Jorah in the shoulder with the tip of his boot. </p><p>Dimitri watched Jorah stand still for this, only reaction seeming to be a raised eyebrow at Claude’s attempts but still implicit permission to keep trying regardless of how silly it was. That just seemed to be their way.</p><p>“One of us needs to get taller to make this work better.” Claude complained, though not seriously, and dropped his foot back against the wall.</p><p>“Oh fine, I guess I’ll just make it easy on you.” Jorah said and stepped back then all but ran back towards the wall, stepping up onto the edges of large stones fast to hop up to their level and grab hold of the edge of the wall.</p><p>“Here, let me give you a hand, Professor.” Dimitri reached forward and supported the man’s arm as he slung a leg over the wall to get up there with them. </p><p>“He’s good where he is.” Claude took advantage of Jorah being seated on the wall with him to lean forward and rest his chin on his Professor’s shoulder, folding his arms cross Jorah’s back.</p><p>“You do all the work and he reaps all the reward. So much trouble isn’t he?” Jorah asked Dimitri with a laugh, pulling him over for a half hug and a ruffle of his hair. “Have you two been having fun?”</p><p>Dimitri ducked his head and laughed, enjoying the affection either way. Jorah played with him like an older sibling and it was not unwelcome. “Yes, I believe so. We’ve just been talking about the Battle of the Eagle and Lion.”</p><p>“Yes, it sounded like it.” Jorah agreed, making no move to get out from under his student. Instead he merely reached up and pat Claude’s cheek lightly then crossed his arms over his chest.</p><p>“I’m quite glad you weren’t here for our original Mock Battle, Professor. Claude had a plan for students from the other houses to ‘mysteriously’ get a stomach bug right before the match that Manuela shut down. I have a feeling you’d have allowed it.” Dimitri did not, in fact, think Jorah would have allowed that. But the way those two played, he felt it was a safe attempt at a joke to play along. </p><p>Jorah looked to Claude seriously, “I hope I’ve taught you better than that.”</p><p>“Yeah yeah, I know. If I’m going to poison our opponents, I have to target a few people on our side as well or it’s going to be too suspicious.” Claude shrugged. </p><p>“And you need to choose targets that you can either afford to participate without, can live with the consequences of having hurt, and have constitutions that would overall be resilient to such an attack.” Jorah nodded sagely then grinned to Dimitri. “I heard Edelgard greeted Claude by suggesting he tell her all of his weaknesses.”</p><p>Dimitri gave a quiet laugh and nodded. “She did, yes. It was very brazen of her.”</p><p>“And you wanted us all to fight fair and square.” Claude looked sideways at Jorah. “Which ultimately we did. And got crushed fair and square by the Black Eagles too. I am not looking forward to a repeat of that.”</p><p>“Then I guess you’d better focus in the coming weeks, hadn’t you?” Jorah suggested then turned back to Dimitri, “Too late to jump ship to the Blue Lions isn’t it?”</p><p>Dimitri almost lost focus on the question for a moment, just watching the small motions between them. That even as he cracked the joke, Jorah had reached up to twirl Claude’s braid around his finger. That he had been able to do it without looking, and that it was done right as Claude’s expression had started to cloud over just slightly and he seemed to be tensing. With a touch it all eased once again. </p><p>“I know better than to accept such an offer. You’d probably just switch as part of another strategy to help your House win.” Dimitri forced a bit of a grin of his own - not necessarily because he didn’t feel positively, he just didn’t know how much was too much to show. Or too little. </p><p>“I told you he’s getting too good at catching our strategies. Time to revise again.” Claude suggested, leaning more firmly on Jorah and squeezing him. </p><p>“Back to the drawing board it is.” </p><p>With one hand still up as he played with Claude’s braid, Jorah gave Dimitri a firm squeeze of his shoulder and a smile. “I look forward to facing you. I’m sure we’ll all have a good time and learn a lot.” </p><p>“Thank you, Professor. I’m eager for it.” Dimitri was overall quite excited. He wondered how their recent camaraderie would change the face of the Battle of the Eagle and Lion, but couldn’t deny he was eagerly awaiting the chance to see it. Even losing felt like he’d learn so much and get to do a lot.</p><p>It was about that time the delighted cheers of Flayn were heard and there was Tate, happily bouncing along as Flayn held the fish and did a little happy bounce in turn. </p><p>“Seteth’s going to be pleased she had such fun.” Dimitri observed. “He was so terribly worried about her…”</p><p>It was good. Even if it was a simple kind of fun, there was a feeling in the air like hope and happiness. It made Garreg Mach really feel like...home.</p>
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<a name="section0018"><h2>18. A Deer in the Battle of Eagle and Lion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They had been preparing all month for the Battle of the Eagle and Lion. Despite being left out of the title for historical accuracy reasons, the Golden Deer had managed to win a few times before and Claude was admittedly extremely excited to try and prove himself with this. Back when Hilda’s brother Holst had been House Leader, they’d swept a powerful victory over the other houses. Unfortunately, that had been the last time the Deer won. </p><p>This year, it was really anyone’s game and that made Claude nervous. He recalled how brutally efficient the Black Eagles had been the first time they fought and that was before having their teacher for several months and time to really dig into training. Any time he’d been working with them in the Field Days and shared missions had been a sight to behold. </p><p>Just as much, the Blue Lions were furiously determined to win. What they didn’t have in unknowable mercenaries for Professors, they made up for in familiarity with each other and a steady experienced Professor. Hanneman may not have the exact same ideas of what sorts of fun activities to drag a class on, but he was a steady minded teacher with a lot of wisdom and ability. They had been equally intimidating to work with.</p><p>Of course, his own class was nothing to sneeze at either. What had been a rowdy and disorganized bunch were now a lot more like a family and while that was also quite messy in its own way, it was a more unified kind of messy. He had sort of hoped at some point to see the magic moment more experienced tactics and his own schemes would entwine, but he found it hadn’t quite been a single moment like expected. If anything, Claude found that the teamwork had grown like a tree, and they’d all been swept along into it, supporting each other and being taken higher and higher. His schemes were as integral a part of them as anything and it felt powerful and wonderful.</p><p>The march to Gronder Field had been kind of exciting. Having the school travelling and so many students eager to participate, fooling around on the road or being anxious. Claude had seen the Black Eagles’ resident recluse being carried by her Professor, opposite a pack of supplies under Tate’s other arm. She’d at least looked somewhat relaxed about it and had just put her head on Tate’s shoulder and clung like a scared animal in a rainstorm. As long as she came along, he guessed. </p><p>The battlefield itself had Claude excited and darting about to look it over when they had the chance to explore. He found a good vantage to observe it from and stood there. On noting his teacher coming to join him, he turned back with a grin. </p><p>“So this is Gronder Field...Say Teach, not a bad place to wage war, is it?”</p><p>Jorah looked at the area, then shrugged, giving one of his lopsided grins. "Certainly, but then I imagine that's why it was picked historically too."</p><p>Claude huffed a laugh, "I knew you'd get it." </p><p>Getting on to his proper thoughts, Claude swept his hand over the landscape before them. "Plenty of places to hide, and our pick of paths to advance through. It's the perfect battlefield for our tactics. I have my eye on that low hill over there.” He turned back to Jorah with a grin, trusting his Teach saw where he’d had his hand before dropping it, “See it? It's the ideal spot to lure our enemies to, and then surround them with fire."</p><p>"Yes but I imagine the school would frown on that.” Jorah was looking at the spot intently, and his eyes had narrowed the way they did when he was thinking. Then he looked at Claude again and raised a brow. “ I also don't think your classmates are ideally suited for manning such an area with that tactic. We only have three fliers currently and they're still new at it."</p><p>"I know, I know. We want all students to make it back to the monastery." Claude shook his head. Jorah's sentimental side was precious. </p><p>"Yes, particularly ours." Jorah gave him a light swat on the arm, laughing. </p><p>“What are you two talking about now?” Hilda asked, coming over to join them and slinging her arms around each. </p><p>“Hilda, what do you think they’re talking about? Our Professor is probably indulging in Claude chattering about his ill-advised schemes again.” Lorenz was less combative about it than he might once have been and stood to look over the area with them. </p><p>Still unable to resist messing with his classmate, Claude grinned at him from where he was leaning on Hilda and Jorah. “Oh you have me all figured out, Lorenz. You know me better than I know myself.” </p><p>“Save flirting with Lorenz till after the battle, Claude.” Jorah didn’t miss a beat. “I don’t want him losing focus thinking about a comeback.”</p><p>Lorenz huffed indignantly but shook his head. “I won’t stoop to trying to dignify his comments, do not worry, Professor.” </p><p>The rest of the Deer assembled and the group managed to get slightly more in order so they could rally for the fight. This did not stop Claude from teasing Hilda about leaving her to man the main hill and “cheering” for them. He didn’t necessarily know what Jorah was going to have some of them do tactically, he just knew it was going to be a match to remember.</p><p>As it turned out, it certainly was. There had been so much going on and there was no clear victor even deep into the matches. The Battle of the Eagle and Lion really felt more like an overwhelming blur mingled with a tapestry of moments that stood out.</p><p>He remembered the squeak of surprise from Marianne when she’d raised her Levin Sword in terror and actually managed to keep an opponent from hitting her, terrified as she was. She had also been participant in a chase halfway across the battlefield on Pegasus, fleeing Ingrid who was determined to take her out. </p><p>Another moment that had left him absolutely surprised was when Hilda had actually engaged someone in a fight to prevent that chase ending worse than it was. She’d swooped in and with a mighty strike managed to send Felix fucking Fraldarius flying. The entire Golden Deer class had stopped to join in her chanting “HILDA, HILDA!” at the top of their lungs, and a few of the Eagles had even joined in. </p><p>There had also been some surprising standoffs. Claude had avoided the ballista on the central hill specifically because he knew everyone was heading there, but he’d gotten a glimpse of an archer standoff between Ignatz and Ashe that ended in Bernadetta shrieking apologies and stealing the ballista from them. Ferdinand and Lorenz had had some sort of honorable lance duel going till Sylvain had charged through both and provoked both into chasing him. </p><p>Every now and again, Claude had caught a glimpse of the Professors. Manuela and Hanneman had sat out but the twins were allowed to participate and they were going for it. He knew Jorah wasn’t going to use that Rage ability of his, and Tate it seemed was not wielding the Sword of the Creator. But it was still something worth pausing at just to see either in action. He’d glimpsed Jorah going after Hubert after what seemed to be a magic duel that ended in Flayn out of the match. Last Claude had seen Tate, she had been in a heated back and forth exchange of blows with Dedue. </p><p>He hadn’t gotten to stay and watch either fight, or most any of them really. Getting into cover and shooting from hiding was his main tactic to avoiding getting taken out early in this battle. Claude knew just fine that most everyone wanted to take out the mouthy leader of the Deer and he wasn’t going to make it easy for them. </p><p>Ultimately, he had been chased out of cover by a blast of magic by Edelgard hitting way too close to home, particularly with her rushing after him with her axe drawn. She was stronger but he was faster and the pair dodged and weaved till they reached the remaining fighters. If he couldn’t stay safely in the background he’d take up his position with his allies.</p><p>Sadly, at that point he’d had only one ally left. Jorah was engaged in a brutal looking back and forth with Dimitri and Claude at most could get himself back to back with his Professor for any kind of support. Edelgard was still coming for him and he had to use whatever time he still had to get as many arrows in her as possible. Nearby, he could see Tate still had Dedue focused on her and back from helping Dimitri - but this equally kept her from being able to help Edelgard. That was about all that was keeping the Deer in this, he was pretty sure.</p><p>With a click of his tongue, Jorah got Claude’s attention and the two exchanged a glance over their shoulders. Claude gave a soft hum a moment after letting an arrow fly and then ducked down and moved sideways, nocking the next in the process.</p><p>“Hey, long time, no see, Your Highness.” Claude grinned and shot point blank at Dimitri’s arm to weaken his ability to hold his weapon steady.</p><p>“Good to see you as well, Claude.” Dimitri’s words were through gritted teeth and if it were anyone else, Claude would be afraid at him seeming to shrug off that hit, especially with how fast he lunged again with the lance. But Claude had no time to fixate on that anyway - he had felt the warmth and movements of Jorah’s arms for his casting and quickly turned into completing their circle now Edelgard had been blasted back.</p><p>“Did you miss me, Princess?” he asked, aiming another hit. </p><p>“You could say that. I hit someone else instead. I won’t miss next time.” Edelgard suggested and came rushing back for him again. </p><p>This was about when things started to really get out of hand. At first, everything seemed to freeze as Dedue groaned and made his apologies, having to fall back at last. Oh no. </p><p>Claude had been distracted enough by this that he hadn’t had enough time to block. If he’d dodged too much, Jorah would have had an axe in the shoulder so he’d thought fast and held his bow up to tangle her axe. It was not going to hold very well and this was such a stupid plan and - and-</p><p>And with the snap of his bow, Edelgard’s axe handle had also split and at once Claude had thrown the tangled mass of axehead and broken bow aside. He braced against Jorah and fumbled to draw his sword, when an almighty crack resounded behind them. Both he and Edelgard were startled enough to look.</p><p>In the matter of Dimitri’s lance versus Jorah’s axe, they had also both broken them, and the fractured part had fallen from the Prince’s hand, Claude’s arrow still lodged in his arm. It seemed everybody had been fighting for so long their weapons were giving out before then. </p><p>“I’m sorry I must resort to this, Professor.” Dimitri’s voice was shaky but determined as he raised his fists, looking a little nervous and pale, but head held high.</p><p>“If that’s what you want,” Jorah’s fist was pressed into his opposite palm and he rolled his shoulders. Even as he did this, he glanced back and raised an eyebrow at Claude. There was a silent question in the air between them, a wonder at this.</p><p>Then a soft and musical sound echoed around their little group. </p><p>Looking over, there was Tate, holding the broken half of her sword and the empty bottle of Concoction she’d just downed. The hilt fell from her hands and landed in the grass a moment before the bottle did. She paid them no mind and just held her stomach, laughing at the whole of them.</p><p>Dimitri’s shaking posture looked so tense, so nervous, but then he began his own awkward little chuckle that began to sound more genuine and relieved as they went through it. On Claude’s other side, Edelgard’s hand fell to her side with her useless axe-handle slipping from her grasp and a tired smile on her face.</p><p>“My Teacher, are you having fun?” Edelgard asked, looking at her Professor with tender fondness. </p><p>“This is so stupid. They’re going to fistfight.” Tate agreed. Her laughter was so quiet, so restrained, but everything else about her gave it away. She was practically shining with happiness.</p><p>Claude exchanged a last glance with Jorah and the two of them started to laugh at once, Claude leaning his full weight against his Teach and letting his hands fall to his side.</p><p>“Ok, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m done.” Claude said. </p><p>“Yes...yes I think I am too.” Dimitri admitted. “I’d rather go see how Dedue is. I don’t really want to resort to punching you, Professor.” </p><p>Edelgard ran a hand through her hair, looking at them all and shaking her head. “You realize this could easily be a default victory for us if that’s the case, right?” </p><p>“Who wants to win by default? Not the peerless Imperial Princess.” Claude gave her a smirk. “Isn’t it more fun to do something unique?”</p><p>“Fun is it?” Edelgard asked, looking to him appraisingly.</p><p>“The Battle of the Eagle and Lion ending in a tie is somewhat more history-making than any one House winning.” Jorah pointed out. Then he gave Claude a gentle tug of the sleeve. In a moment, both of them slid from standing to sitting at once, pressing their weight into each other to keep from either seeming to collapse from exhaustion.</p><p>“Edelgard, let’s just be done.” Tate said, holding out a hand to her. “Everyone’s waiting for us.” </p><p>It seemed for a moment like Edelgard might protest, then she gave a soft smile, taking that hand and stepping over the wreck of weapons and potion bottles to stand by her Professor’s side. “I think I like the sound of a new record at the school.” </p><p>Everything was quiet around them, just this little group to themselves, and then all the world returned at once. A roar from the audience watching, and things being announced by the Archbishop presiding over the battle. Claude barely heard over the clank of armor as Dedue rushed - or perhaps more stumbled - back onto the field to check on Dimitri. Claude even only recognized him by his emotional greeting of ‘Your Highness!’ before the sounds were tuned out again.</p><p>Claude closed his eyes, leaning his head on Jorah’s shoulder and just facing up to the sky. “About how long do we have before the rest of the Deer tackle us?”</p><p>“Less than a moment.” Jorah said, right as Claude felt himself squished between Jorah’s solid back and Hilda’s front as she threw her arms around them and squeezed. </p><p>“Claude! Professor! You two were AMAZING!!” </p><p>“I think I’d rather be asleep than amazing right now.” Claude suggested, keeping his eyes closed but tiredly looping an arm around Hilda. </p><p>“That was a wonderful showing! I am very inspired! That battle was invigorating!” Flayn declared and Claude knew Jorah definitely had to be tired because he heard the little ‘mmph’ noise as she hugged him. </p><p>He lost track of what any of the Deer were saying after that, or really what anyone was saying as the Church Officials came over to confirm positively that had been the result. It took a while for Claude to care enough to pull himself out of the pile of huggy Deer and try to talk to anybody, but there were still things to do so eventually he had to. </p><p>Meeting up again, everyone more healed up and refreshed, Claude crossed his arms on Jorah’s shoulder and leaned his chin on them, giving the other House Leaders a catlike smile. Tate and Edelgard were standing side by side but while she had her arm loosely linked with her student, Tate was giving Dimitri’s uniform a gentle brushing off with her hand. Beside him, Dedue was managing to look both serious and intimidating, while also giving off the vibe that this was his equivalent of beaming with pride at his Prince.</p><p>“Well, we had to work for that tie, but it was worth it.” Claude commented, getting them back into talking to him. “In any case, I just hope the day never comes where we have to put this experience to use.” </p><p>“Agreed. I would hate to know a future in which I'm forced to cross swords with you. Perhaps they will change the name of this mock battle in the future?” Dimitri gave a quiet little smile at it. </p><p>“I wouldn’t mind.” Edelgard began, “I’ll accept a challenge from either of you at any time.” She took a moment then broke into a little laugh Claude wasn’t sure he completely believed. “I’m only kidding.”</p><p>“A challenge, maybe, but I would certainly not like to do that for real.” Jorah closed his eyes and leaned his head against Claude’s. He’d not rested quite as much with the Deer cheering. </p><p>“Everyone takes our jokes too seriously, it is a shame.” Tate suggested, turning to bump foreheads with Edelgard. </p><p>“So it seems, my Teacher.” Edelgard never seemed to be able to look away from Tate when she had her attention. Not that Claude could judge, but it didn’t stop him from seeing it.</p><p>Still, he had his own schemes to bring up. “On that note, I have a proposition. When we get back to Garreg Mach, let's have a grand feast to bring down the walls between our respective houses. And by a "grand" feast, I mean a fairly regular feast in the dining hall.”</p><p>Watching her look up at him quickly, Claude caught that little sparkle in Tate’s eyes that he was learning meant she was excited. Edelgard seemed to have picked up on it even sooner, already looking at her with interest. </p><p>“If we were to want it to be grand...we should have some of our best cooks help.” Tate turned from looking at Claude to looking across at Dedue. “I recall a recipe you said was best for festivals that you missed making. We could work on that with Mercedes like we discussed.”</p><p>Dedue seemed surprised to be addressed but nodded. “I would be honored. Mercedes and I had hoped to make it in victory, but in compromise will be just as well. I would be glad of your help.” </p><p>“I am glad you will still get to make it then.” Dimitri observed, looking up at Dedue with interest, “I had no idea you two had any plans for a victory meal for us. I would have been very sorry to deprive you of the chance to celebrate in way that makes you both happy-”</p><p>“You did not disappoint either of us. It is no matter.” Dedue corrected him swiftly, though seemed frustrated at himself for cutting off Dimitri speaking. That was probably a really hard road for him to walk.</p><p>“You really value that sort of thing don’t you?” Edelgard was looking at Claude searchingly. </p><p>He gave her a noncommittal shrug and a meaningless smile. “The Deer love an excuse to party, what can I say?” </p><p>“Sharing food and conversation with people you care about is nothing to be ashamed of valuing.” Jorah spoke up, though he hadn’t opened his eyes or moved from the mutual-leaning he and Claude had going on. </p><p>“I am in favor of your idea, Claude. We can coordinate when we’re back at the monastery.” Dimitri told him then politely made his exit from the scene.</p><p>“We shall be there as well.” Edelgard said and he heard her quietly commenting to her Professor as they walked away together, “Seeing such a big smile on your face is a rare gift... It makes me feel like I can maybe relax a little too.” </p><p>Claude closed his eyes again and leaned into Jorah, holding his arm. “How many spells did you have left?” </p><p>“A few. I had another axe I could have pulled out too. Were you thinking of grabbing for your sword or a spare bow from the storage bag?” </p><p>“Mm, I had arrows left but I was probably going to go for the sword first. I didn’t want to risk her getting you in the back while I tried to fumble out another bow and get into position to hit her.” </p><p>“That’s alright.” He could hear the smile in the warmth of Jorah’s voice. “I’m sure if you could break her axe with your bow, my shoulder would have probably survived.”</p><p>“I didn’t know how close it was to breaking, and I wouldn’t want to use you as a shield too much if I don’t have to.” Claude rubbed his cheek into Jorah’s with a sigh. “Think we made the right choice to stand down?”</p><p>“Yeah. If we’d tried to push it, Tatey would probably have gotten serious and then it would have been the two of us versus all three of them. Even if Dimitri didn’t have alternate weapons on hand, they definitely did.” </p><p>“She’s as much of a packrat with the magic supply storage as you are then?” Claude opened his eyes to give Jorah a sly smile. </p><p>Jorah’s eyes opened a sliver and he gave a sly smile. “She’s worse of one.”</p><p>“Can I pout cutely till you tell me why?” Claude asked, but didn’t actually bother with the pout. He wrapped his arms around Jorah and buried his face in his Professor’s shoulder. Claude never had any doubt he’d get an answer when he really wanted them from this person.</p><p>“Safety for some people comes in being so skilled and comfortable with a situation you can survive it no matter what. For others, it comes in having exactly what you need and more than enough of it, so you are always prepared for any eventuality.” Jorah was quiet a second before adding, “And for others it’s always having enough information to protect yourself, wouldn’t you agree?”</p><p>“Mm.” Claude didn’t properly agree but he didn’t have to. Jorah wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t know. </p><p>When they actually returned to the Monastery, the party had been fantastic. Claude had eaten enough to pass out. He might not have felt comfortable enough to do so but with his full class around him and his Teach on hand, his anxiety had quieted for a while. He was proved right about that when he woke with a pillow under his head, in a decidedly different room than he’d passed out in. The classes must have retreated to their individual House groups at some point and Claude had been carried along for it.</p><p>He smiled hearing the group happily chattering together. Even without a full victory, the Deer were happy to have performed as well as they did. The praise was currently directed at Jorah, who was clearly flustering under the praise, his cheeks and ears red as he looked away and tried not to smile too much. Claude couldn’t delay his entrance if it meant missing joining in on this.</p><p>“You really showed them, Teach! I would really hate to be on your bad side.” Claude popped up and wrapped both his arms around Jorah’s right arm, linking his hands on his Professor’s shoulder. Jorah would be obligated to put that arm around him and an excuse to get held was always worth it.</p><p>“Claude, that <i>is</i> my bad side. I’m still left handed.” Jorah’s bashful smile became a bit more of a grin and he hugged Claude to his side.</p><p>“Oh, look. Claude has been revived. He must’ve sensed you had full use of your limbs, Professor.” Hilda played as unimpressed with Claude as ever. </p><p>He ignored her in favor of continuing to see how red Jorah would get under the attention. “Your tactics were ingenious and you really impressed me with your willingness to play along with some pretty wild schemes.” Claude decided to let up when he saw Jorah starting to shrink back a little, face so red Claude could feel the heat from there. “Though you can be a bit absentminded at times. Your mind is like a giant bowl with a tiny crack in it…”</p><p>“Claude, saying that only makes your own mind bowl seem tiny.” Hilda followed his topic change easily, which always worked well to get the others to do it. </p><p>“How dare you! My bowl is much bigger than Teach's!” Claude played offended for her, huffing some, before adding a little way-too-honest self-deprecation at the end. “Unfortunately, it doesn't just have a crack. The whole bottom of my bowl is missing.”</p><p>Jorah blinked slowly, “Is that a remark about how you’re built thicker but I’m taller?” he asked Claude, smile becoming more natural as he relaxed into the topic change.”</p><p>The others, of course, had their own ideas. </p><p>“In other words, you are the absentminded one, not our professor.” Lysithea pointed out, puffing up with pride and amusement. </p><p>“That's true. He just admitted it.” Ignatz seemed in high spirits and he laughed merrily at Claude’s admission - which was really the point of it, to amuse them. </p><p>The rest were quickly distracted - first by Marianne laughing, then by Hilda getting them to come spy on some random folks being romantic in the courtyard. </p><p>Claude leaned his head on Jorah again and smiled at him upside-down. “Feeling better?”</p><p>“Yes, thank you for the rescue. I always appreciate your vast mindbowl in these situations. Supposedly missing bottom and all.” Jorah closed his eyes once more and nosed into Claude’s hair, sighing contentedly yet again. That just seemed to be how they were ending up lately.</p><p>“That’s why I like you, Teach. You can find a use even for a wider, shorter bowl.” Claude looked up at the ceiling and let out a deep breath through his nose. “I’d hate to have you or your sister as my enemy, you know. If possible, I’d wish for you to always fight at my side.” </p><p>His heart lurched and Claude suddenly felt far too exposed, saying something so very exposing at a time like this. No matter how much he loved the warmth and trust they shared, there were parts of his heart he wasn’t ready to share with anyone, and ideas like ‘always’ and ‘forever’ were still too scary.</p><p>Quickly, he pulled his head away from Jorah’s shoulder, turning back to him with a wide and very fake grin. “If I could use the Sword of the Creator, we wouldn't even be having this conversation. I bet if I could use it, you would trust me to... Right?”</p><p>Jorah blinked at him oddly for a fraction of a second, then a delicate, almost brittle smile returned Claude’s grin. “If I had it, of course.” </p><p>“That selflessness may be what I like best about you.” That meant absolutely nothing and Claude knew it. And it wasn’t what he liked best about him at all, but those were words he didn’t think he could ever bring himself to say. Not honestly anyway, not without it being a joke.</p><p>The response was considered for a second, then Jorah ruffled his hair, accepting the return to ‘casual’ over ‘tender’ in mood. “Come on, you missed Ignatz doing sketches earlier. Let’s see if we can talk him into showing you the ones he did of you.”</p><p>“Ignatz drew me? And let you see? I’m shocked.”</p><p>“He’s doing quicker motion based drawings as practice for some extra credit assignments. He drew an adorable joke drawing of you with cat ears and a tail because everyone insisted the expression he gave you looked like a cat that swallowed a canary.” </p><p>“Well now I HAVE to see it. Come on, Teach!”</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Tate almost accidentally bites a teacup</h2></a>
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    <p>In all of her new feelings, Tate was still getting a handle on ones she didn't have a context for. How did one process feelings of dislike for someone for petty things that felt too trivial to matter? To feel things that inherently sat wrong? Was she broken? </p><p>Was she broken was a very oft asked question in her mind, Tate found and one Sothis had given up on responding to. Still she couldn't help asking. When surrounded by people who had known the majority of their feelings since childhood and seemed to actually know what to do with them, she felt at a loss for how to act, or failing that, how to pretend she knew. </p><p>Pretending you knew things seemed to be a large part of surviving in the world of more people - and of teaching. Pretending in general seemed helpful to getting by. She was at least learning to feign responses till she learned how to deal with situations.</p><p>With time she was finding it easier to relate to different students of she didn't try to force herself to match them or worry that her lessons weren't up to their standards. The Black Eagles were a devastating force in battle but behind the scenes were a very disparate bunch of people.</p><p>Hubert had become one of her quickest and easiest to read - outside of Edelgard herself. Everything he said came with an air of mockery, menace, reverence to his Lady, or some combination thereof. Getting to know that he was a real danger but not a threat with no purpose made it quick for her to deal with him. All he said was with purpose even if that purpose was expressing his own amusement or making one feel foolish. Read his purpose and expectations, and a situation could be dealt with. </p><p>If she had to guess, Hubert probably hated his family. Or was at least indifferent to them. But there was something in how he clung to his duty to Edelgard and accepted so little other authority that made her sure that other authorities in his life were deemed unworthy. When teaching him solo, Tate actually found Hubert a receptive and eager student. He didn't aim for praise but for skills and his respect was very rarely given. She felt like, for now at least, she had it.</p><p>Ferdinand was a horse of a different color. If she compared him to anyone, it was her brother. But where Jorah was a storm, Ferdie was a sun. He was warm and bright and sometimes full of hot air. But he was kind hearted and he desperately wanted to please. The expectations upon him had pushed him into a weird idea he had to be the best and make it abundantly clear that he was to be worthy of any affection. She didn't know the Adrestian Prime Minister but Tate was sure she hated him.</p><p>Dealing with Ferdie in or out of class was generally easy. He did a lot of the emotional work for her. The slightest bit of attention when he wanted to give a speech or a little encouragement to do better and he did whatever she wanted. He sought that approval like he was starving and he probably was. She tried to always focus on him at least a little every class or when she stopped to check on him. There was only so much Tate could give but if it helped she would.</p><p>She sipped a cup of tea alone in the gazebo and thought about this, quietly writing notes of her opinion on it and questions. Ferdinand was passionate about his teas and though she was unfamiliar, Tate was trying hard to pick up the study, if only because it made him happy.</p><p>Some of her students flourished so much with attention, some shrank under it like it hurt. </p><p>Bernadetta had slowly been becoming more and more used to Tate. To Jorah too as they were both willing to talk through a door and be gentle with her, but Tate saw her most. She'd had to carry Bernie to get her out of her room for the Battle of the Eagle and Lion but she'd been so proud of her for how hard she worked in it. If Tate was sure she wouldn't like Hubert's family and knew she'd hate Ferdinand's dad, it was <i>nothing</i> to her seething desire to end Count Varley for how he treated his daughter. The things Bernadetta slipped and said made Tate furious.</p><p>With Bernadetta, Tate tried to balance every outing with feelings of security. Bernie was safe if she was with Tate or Dorothea and Petra, she was safe if her friends were near. That her father wasn't allowed anywhere near her and probably wouldn't watch events anyway. Getting her to come to class was also easier when she knew where it would be, who would be there, and that she wasn't going to be yelled at. Letting her take hiding breaks under Tate's desk also seemed to help. She was still learning how to display the right amount of ‘gentle’ and ‘reassuring’ to keep Bernie from being frightened, but making her relax with some little backrubs or pats while being held did seem to do good - in general, not being judged seemed to do a lot of good with Bernadetta.</p><p>The other person who seemed to solve problems with frightened Bernies by carrying her was Caspar. He was easily mistaken for stupid at first glance but in truth was nothing of the sort. He was not book smart by any means and could be quite gullible but Caspar more than made up for that with heart. His passion for seeking justice and fervor to do right by others was intense but inspiring.</p><p>Caspar was both one of the easiest and hardest students for Tate to bond with. He didn't want to be invited to do things like have tea and talk about feelings. He wanted to fight and eat and fish and bring justice to the world. A morning jog and breakfast was the easiest way to get time with him and put the boy in high spirits for his lessons. He was enthusiastic about so much that he did and if given direction, he would unleash that enthusiasm to the best of his ability. That being said, he was one of the students Tate most had to push herself to emote for. </p><p>Tate sipped her tea and rubbed her temples, trying to wind down some from her week. Caspar every day alone was a bit much, but add in the rest and that was exhausting. Still, she was becoming more sure that putting in the effort for them was worth it. Even if teaching itself still didn’t feel natural or comfortable for her, being able to help and spend time with her various students meant a lot. It was worth it to see Caspar spark up and be delighted despite how tiring trying to push him could be.</p><p>If she ever met his dad, she was pretty sure she wanted to fight him. Not out of anger, he just sounded like one of those old battleaxes that you really just needed to brawl with to get to know. She’d grown up around men like that and there was something more familiar about them. Caspar definitely respected - and feared - his dad, at least from how he talked about him. She wasn’t sure if she’d LIKE the man, but there was some level of respect and familiarity to that sort of thing.</p><p>Meanwhile, Tate had no idea if she’d like Linhardt’s father at all. She knew he fought with Caspar’s dad a lot, and the two sons had a long-standing friendship and friendly competition of ‘my dad could beat your dad’. Linhardt didn’t seem to actually have as much pride in it as he had enjoyment in baffling and riling up Caspar with surprise information like what “height advantage” was. </p><p>Linhardt was his own confusion because she frequently felt like she was failing to engage him right, but rather than it being because of her expressiveness, it was more often because Tate was pretty sure Linhardt was smarter than she was. She tried very hard to cater lessons for him to things that would engage his curiosity and interests, particularly while he could be so frequently hard to catch during actually energetic moods. Someone who slept more than Sothis was a little weird for her to understand, but she wanted to very much. Linhardt seemed a good hearted young man - if somewhat unscrupulous about rules. Where Caspar exhausted her emotionally and physically, Linhardt exhausted her intellectually, but engaging him was important. </p><p>Someone who managed to be both intellectually and emotionally tiring was Dorothea. One of Tate’s favorite students by far, but someone who was a lot of work to try and keep ahead of. She’d already learned that Dorothea was here less for her education than for trying to find a well off spouse to secure her own future. But it would be an absolute waste to just ignore teaching her better for that reason alone - after all, she was a brilliant and skilled mage, someone who had so much potential to take to a lot of different skills. Dorothea also was very willing to engage others at their level and work with them. She’d put up with an inferior teacher, probably, so long as she was paid some attention and encouraged right - provided she was respected. Respecting her just meant that Tate deeply needed to be more.</p><p>By the same virtue, Tate hated that she couldn’t engage with Dorothea emotionally enough. She’d once said that Tate had a stare like she could see through her and it scared Dorothea, which was upsetting. Seeing through her wasn’t really something Tate was trying to do - usually she was more just admiring her. Dorothea was so pretty and so smart and skilled and she had such a nice voice and her hair smelled nice. Tate had more than once wanted to ask her about things like makeup or the soaps she used in her hair to make it so nice and smell so pretty. It was extremely confusing and frustrating. Sothis often laughed at Tate for her frustrations on this.</p><p>Dorothea was somewhere between one of her most insecure students and one of her most mature. She wanted to be cared about, given support and pushed to grow, to blossom the way she deserved, and Tate very  much wanted to do that as her teacher. Tate just also struggled with things like mentally shutting down when Dorothea laughed or said things in a certain tone of voice or tossed her hair a particular way that left others overwhelmed. Tate once let Dorothea put a headband on her to test how it looked, and she called Tate a “good girl” after and that had left Tate unable to form coherent thoughts for at least an hour. The way she giggled at all of Tate’s silly Potato doodles as signatures was criminal. At least she wasn’t alone in being useless about that though - Edelgard and Petra on more than one occasion had been standing with her for one of those giggles and been similarly struck blinking and unable to function. </p><p>Tate brought her cup to her lips for another sip and set it down again after, leaning on her palm otherwise, still trying to sort through thoughts of her class. </p><p>If Dorothea was one of her hardest students who was trying to be the easiest, Petra was the opposite. By all rights she should be harder to teach with a language barrier on one end and an emotional barrier on the other, but Petra was often extremely easy for Tate to manage. It probably helped that Tate was extremely patient with Petra while she worded herself and usually didn’t worry about the idiosyncrasies, and Petra was very open and willing to consider what Tate was trying to express even if her face didn’t show it. They would work together over phrases and words, and also over ways to express things.</p><p>It made Tate happy whenever she and Petra found a new way to express something - when they found the meaning behind a phrase Petra was struggling with or just something new to do to express a feeling Tate was still learning. It was Petra who first chose to just mimic her excited jumping over fish, even if it made no sense to anyone else, and it helped a great deal in her confidence about that excitement. Petra was working so hard to achieve her goals and frequently overdid things, but a bit of a push or a nudge to take a break was needed far more than lectures or scolding. Getting each other like that was nice.</p><p>One day, Tate hoped to go to Brigid and see it. To see the land and to see her friend and student accomplish her goals. She had sort of gotten the message that Petra wasn’t actually here by choice, but her efforts were all with the intent to make a better life for her people. It was admirable and Tate hoped encouraging her friendship with Edelgard as well would perhaps one day lead to better relations between the Empire and Brigid as well. </p><p>Edelgard had been Tate’s first favorite and was still the one she felt the closest to out of the whole class, the one she didn’t have to express things as much for and who understood her work ethic. They could lean on each other so much. But over time the others had become so precious to Tate too. Her Black Eagles were dear to her and to lose any of them would make her deeply sad.</p><p>It was probably why her dislike of Monica felt so strange and wrong to her. </p><p>By all accounts, Monica should be someone Tate felt a great sympathy for. She’d been through the same trials as Flayn had been - being kidnapped and kept away from completing her goals of study - and yet interacting with her made Tate feel miserable rather than protective. It wasn’t like when she was first meeting some of the others - they had been overwhelming, tiring, frustrating even. People she generally considered herself disliking among the other students or staff even, they were more a mild disinclination towards their personalities or actions towards her. Leonie was mostly harmless but “rubbed her the wrong way” as her brother put it. Sylvain just put her off or annoyed her. Lady Rhea made her uncomfortable. No one felt like an annoying thorn stuck in her side like Monica.</p><p>Tate chewed on the edge of her cup as she tried to sip from it before remembering that teacups did not like to be chewed and were unpleasant to sink her teeth into, so she quickly put it down again. </p><p>On several occasions, she had tried to engage Monica for classes only to be blown off or told she was fine. This was confusing, as a student trying to catch up and graduate should want lessons, shouldn’t they? But perhaps she was just a bad teacher? Edelgard seemed to know the material better in that sense and was a very reliable and patient tutor. She’d helped Tate get up to speed about teaching even, so that could be it. Yet no attempts to aid Monica socially or with other materials were wanted either. She just wanted to be left alone to drag Edelgard to the library or to wherever else they were going to study. </p><p>Everything about how Monica interacted with Edelgard bothered Tate, and she was sure that was petty and wrong. Hearing Dorothea call her ‘Edie’ fondly wasn’t upsetting at all but Tate felt like she’d bitten through a whole teapot whenever she heard Monica calling her ‘Edel’. Hearing her talk felt like every word was dripping with melted sugar that had somehow gone sour and curdled - which she was pretty sure sugar did not actually do, did it? She would have to ask Mercedes or Ashe about that.</p><p>Disliking someone just for how their voice sounded or how they didn’t like her teaching or how they took all the time of her favorite companion was definitely petty. Not being able to meet people’s standards or please them, and not liking people when she felt like she should, it all went back to making Tate feel broken. Like no matter how hard she worked at this teaching and bonded with her students, she was still failing at it. </p><p>Tate crossed one leg over the other and tried to take another sip of her tea, instead bonking herself in the nose with the teacup. Ow. </p><p>A quiet clearing of the throat caught her attention. </p><p>“Professor...I think you might succeed better if you...actually refill your teacup.” </p><p>Tate blinked at Dimitri’s greeting then looked at the cup she’d been trying to drink from. It had long ago been emptied without her notice and she’d merely been fiddling with the empty container while she thought. </p><p>“That would probably help, yes.” She agreed with a quiet sigh before turning to look at Dimitri. “Did you need something?” Best check on him before trying to figure out if her tea was even still warm.</p><p>“Ah, no, I didn’t,” he quickly put up his hands in front of himself, like warding off an attack rather than a question. “I thought you might be upset so came to ask how you were.” </p><p>“Ah.” Tate echoed the sound then turned to her teapot. Feeling the side of it, she pouted. “I think I’ve let it go cold. I would have invited you to join me.”</p><p>“I don’t mind if that’s all.” Dimitri quickly sat opposite her. “In truth...I am not much of a tea connoisseur. As offended as some of my classmates may be to hear it…I am sure if you do not mind cold tea, I don’t either.”</p><p>Tate didn’t have the energy to try to push a weak smile, merely nodded and took up the teapot to pour them each some. “I am still trying to learn about it. I prefer it warm, but it isn’t bad cold. If it is for only myself, I have taken to putting the sugar in the pot once it is brewed and pouring myself some after, so it will be sweet even if I forget and let it cool. You are not to repeat this to Ferdinand or Lorenz or they will be most offended.”</p><p>Dimitri shook his head and his eyes crinkled at the corners. “It shall stay between us.”</p><p>Pouring him a cup and herself some more, Tate settled back in her seat to sip the cooled beverage. At least, even lukewarm, it was already sweet and nice to drink. </p><p>“What gave you the idea I was upset?” She hesitated to ask but had better know just how bad she looked.</p><p>“Well...forgive me for saying, Professor, but I don’t think...biting teacups is something one does in a good state of mind? At least as far as I know.” Dimitri looked so sheepish and sweet with his awkward little smile across at her. He didn’t seem to know what he was doing with his face either most of the time.</p><p>“No I suppose not.” Tate admitted and sipped her properly filled tea this time. “I was...upset at myself. I don’t think it’s something to be troubled at?”</p><p>“I can certainly understand being frustrated enough with your own thoughts that you forget yourself.” Dimitri nodded, his own face falling to a more tired expression behind his teacup. “If what troubles you is anything I may aid with, I am willing to listen.” </p><p>She considered, tilting her head this way and that, feeling like the idea was physically rolling inside of her head as she weighed it. “I don’t know if this is the sort of thing to share. Or that I should as a Professor.” </p><p>“Ah...yes, I should have considered.” Dimitri nodded. “Forget I said anything.”</p><p>Tate righted her head to visibly shake it in negation, “No, I shall not.”</p><p>“Pardon?” </p><p>“I appreciate that you offered. I will not forget the intent, even if it doesn’t help in this instance.” </p><p>“Oh...well then. I am glad of it.” </p><p>Dimitri was the sort of student that Tate wasn’t sure if she could get a read on most of the time. Occasionally, she thought it was perhaps because there was too much she didn’t understand about the events he’d been through, or have enough interaction with him. As time went on, she’d begun to suspect something slightly different. She couldn’t get a read on him, for precisely the reason many couldn’t get one on her.</p><p>“Do you ever feel like you’re broken? Or doing feelings wrong?” Tate asked plainly. </p><p>In front of her, Dimitri practically jumped out of his skin with how that question hit him. This might be an extremely bad sign for how that question went over and she should probably not have said anything - normal people don’t ask things like that! At least she was pretty sure?</p><p>“Ah - erm. Hm. Professor, what makes you ask that?” Dimitri’s attempts to smile now were more obviously strained and fake. “Did - I haven’t done anything, have I?”</p><p>She quickly shook her head. “I was asking for myself.” </p><p>The relief that washed over her companion was palpable. Well ok, work on asking those questions better, good to note. </p><p>“I see.” He looked down at his hands and relaxed once more, face becoming weaker. “Then...yes. I suppose I do. Feel like that, that is.” </p><p>“I’m not used to feeling things as…” she made a gesture with her arms. “As potently? I used to always feel a little but it was like swimming in a cold river.”</p><p>“Being numb to it all.” Dimitri nodded, eyes downcast at his teacup. “Then you don’t know how to act around everyone else, to meet their expectations of how you should be.” </p><p>“It’s hard to communicate. I don’t know if what I’m showing on my face is right. It doesn’t matter when you’re just pointed at a target and told to end it, how you feel about it doesn’t matter as much - or at least it didn’t.” Tate frowned and scratched at her hair, “I need to show more and I’m learning, but it’s very difficult.”</p><p>“I don’t have quite the same troubles you seem to, but I think I understand.” The price swirled his teacup. “I admit...it sounds nice. To not have to think about how you’re expressing yourself, to just act and be directed. A bit of an escape perhaps? But then...it wouldn’t really be so easy.” </p><p>“It’s not healthy. At least I think?” Tate admitted, refilling her cup this time instead of raising it to her lips by rote again. “Not thinking or feeling when it’s hard is nice but then you do things that you would regret when you know better or people misunderstand everything you mean because you don’t act the way they think you should. Call you names.”</p><p>Here the prince’s smile got a little pained, “Yes, it’s...very difficult. Especially when you can’t blame them for thinking that way. It’s your actions in the end, isn’t it?”</p><p>“It doesn’t stop it from hurting.” Tate admitted. “And it makes it hard to be around people. You are either always worried you’re doing it wrong, or you’re upset at yourself that you’re doing it right and everyone is going to hate you when they know you’re wrong.”</p><p>“I admit...I have not bitten through a teacup but I have on more than one occasion eaten something that had someone give me a strange look because I was too overwhelmed to think about what was or wasn’t going to be socially unacceptable.” The attempt at humor at his own expense was well met, but somewhat sad. </p><p>“Breaking it would be a suitable distraction, but I imagine it would be unpleasant. I was told carrying random fruit for that purpose might be a better idea.” Tate admitted, crossing one leg over the other to tug a random thread she had noticed coming loose from the leg of her pants. </p><p>“Who suggested the fruit?” Dimitri looked up at her, tilting his head.</p><p>“Ashe and Annette during some of our attempts at cooking,” Tate observed. “I think we initially started because Bernadetta was showing an interest in one of Mercedes’ recipes for when she doesn’t have the energy to make real food but still needs to eat. We started with discussions of food for when one has no energy to prepare food or eat, and then moved into talking about foods to eat when one is feeling the opposite - too much energy or panic to eat right.” </p><p>“Ah. That must have been quite the discussion.” Dimitri went to raise his teacup and Tate had to reach out and stop him, hand on his wrist. She silently refilled it before releasing him. “Thank you, Professor.”</p><p>“It was, but I confess I had forgotten it till I started thinking about why bite a teacup. Dedue is the one who suggested lemons.” </p><p>“Lemons?”</p><p>“The flavor and texture are shocking enough to break a negative train of thought.” </p><p>Dimitri’s smile returned, this time more genuine and from feeling, though quickly hidden behind his teacup again. “He is...extremely thoughtful.” </p><p>“He is a valuable asset to the cooking club.” Tate hummed a little and went to refill her own cup before realizing the teapot had emptied when she was refilling Dimitri’s. She put it back down and folded her hands in front of herself. Instead, she decided to say something honest. This seemed like a good time for honesty. “I don’t know what to do with my hands when I’m talking to people.” </p><p>“I imagine it’s worse when giving a lecture.” Dimitri posited, “I know I struggle with how to have my hands when giving a speech. I used to try to clasp them behind my back but I...found that unwise.”</p><p>“I would snap my own wrist with tension.” Tate shook her head swiftly.</p><p>“....that might be close to what happened.” Dimitri agreed sheepishly.</p><p>At this, she gave a quiet laugh. “I’m glad I’m not the only one who has that problem.” </p><p>“Some people seem to make gesturing work for them but I haven’t...quite figured it out?” Dimitri made a random flail with his arms and Tate laughed again.</p><p>“We shall just have to slowly work on discovering these secrets, and help each other in the meantime.” She offered.</p><p>That got another soft laugh from the prince. “Yes. I think I can agree to that.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hhhhh i didn't know where to end this</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. The Golden Deer Have a Picnic Lesson and Jorah Gets Flustered</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jorah ran a hand through his hair as he looked over his lesson plan notes. He’d originally had a very different plan for today but given a recent discovery that still made him shudder, Jorah had decided a far different sort of practical lesson was in order. </p><p>“Teach, how do you manage to look tense while setting up a picnic?” Claude asked, looking at Jorah with that cheeky ease of his. He didn’t even know what they were doing yet but was going to be on board for it, Jorah was sure.</p><p>“My deep love of teaching and sharing information is having a very intense battle with my anxiety over making up lessons on frowned upon subjects. It’s a really big fight between grinning wildly and screaming while tearing my hair out, so I just come out of it looking tense and awkward.” Jorah at least could respond to such inquiries coolly enough. </p><p>Marianne gave a quiet little huffing sound from where she was laying out and smoothing the blankets they’d brought out to picnic on. </p><p>“Ooh, controversial topics? Teach, you rebel.~” Claude got up to rest his chin on Jorah’s shoulder and hug him around his chest. “Did you just decide that a trip outside the grounds would take you away from the watchful eyes of the Knights and Seteth for any heresy?” </p><p>“I certainly hope there’s to be no heresy in today’s class lecture?” Flayn asked, carrying a large basket of rolls to their picnic area. She seemed quite concerned for a moment. “I would expect better of you, Professor.”</p><p>“He’s kidding, Flayn.” Jorah said, right as Claude was saying , “I’m kidding with Teach.” and both were subjected to a laugh from Flayn for their trouble.</p><p>“Aha! It is I who have gotten the best joke! You should look at yourselves!” She said quite proudly. “I know the Professor would not say such things. I have seen you in the Cathedral enough.”</p><p>“My ability to commit heresy is determined by how often I visit the Cathedral now?” Jorah raised a brow. </p><p>“I’m curious about what you’re doing there if you’re not being religious, Teach.” Claude grinned at him and squeezed again. </p><p>“You’re giving me a good intro to my lesson idea.” Jorah reached up to pat his cheek. </p><p>By now the others had assembled and were taking their seats with the rest of the food and drink for their outdoor lesson. Raphael had asked for a meal during a lesson as a reward for some really good work in class recently, so Jorah felt a picnic was a good way of it. He had originally planned for them to be discussing arts or something of the kind, but this time he had something slightly more practical.</p><p>“So what are we learning?” Hilda asked, accepting a cup of tea from Lorenz. Starting class in a picnic and not even questioning why Claude was hugging him was just going to be the way of it.</p><p>“Good question, Hilda. You and Claude will actually be assisting me in instructing today.” Jorah said, smirking a little as he caught the surprise on Claude’s face out of the corner of his eye.</p><p>“Ughhh. Why do I have to help teach? What did I do?” Hilda pouted, but by the standards of Hilda pouts, that wasn’t actually a put out one. She was more intrigued than anything. </p><p>“Well you see, the pair of you are the two foremost experts on today’s topic out of the whole class.” Jorah closed his notebook and turned to the others, crossing his arms over his chest. </p><p>Ignatz looked up from where he was trying to get his own notebooks laid out for this. “Should we be afraid?” It was said nervously but clearly meant playfully. He was doing his best to relax around his class and not apologize constantly.</p><p>“Is that even a question? Of course we should.” Lorenz passed Flayn her cup of tea next. The challenge of performing any semblance of a ‘proper’ tea service while seated on blankets on the ground was clearly a struggle for him, but he was rising to it with gusto. It was always nice to see Lorenz working to challenge his boundaries as a stuffy noble. </p><p>“Oh you should be absolutely terrified.” Jorah agreed. “Class, today’s lesson is on an important life skill that many of you have probably never truly gotten into trying or may even think is morally wrong. But you may need it in your life so we’re going to discuss it.”</p><p>“What, sex?” Lysithea asked. </p><p>Jorah was stuck between how to respond to that. Because on the one hand he just wanted to burst out laughing, but on the other hand he almost wanted to try to reply seriously that they were - even though they weren’t - because that would be extremely on point for the actual lesson. But he absolutely could not, with a straight face, tell his youngest student that they were having a lesson on sex, not even for a joke.</p><p>“He’s blushing so much and trying not to laugh that I can’t tell if you’re extremely wrong or completely right.” Claude commented, sounding quite impressed.</p><p>“It wasn’t an unfair guess. It’s a reasonable topic, something important to understand how to do safely and I’d trust our Professor to talk about it.” Leonie shrugged. “Pretending that stuff doesn’t happen isn’t going to help anyone.” </p><p>“I would not mind learning more about such things, I am very curious” Flayn commented, “though I agree that my brother would not approve of that as a course.”</p><p>Jorah managed to recover from the case of the amusement and blushing long enough to catch his breath. “No. No we are not talking about sex. Perhaps some day and with way more preparation beforehand-”</p><p>“Always good to prepare before sex-” Claude said cheerily before Jorah turned to swat him in the chest. </p><p>“AS I WAS SAYING.” Jorah struggled to get his emotions back under control, having to lean on Claude again to catch his breath. That was QUITE an intro to the class. </p><p>“Why am I supporting you after you were cruel to me?” Claude asked him but wasn’t actually objecting to supporting him, patting Jorah’s back.</p><p>“You deserved it.” </p><p>“Claude, please refrain from breaking our Professor before we even start the lecture.” Lorenz sipped his own tea, making a jab at his classmate more as a matter of course than anything serious.</p><p>“That one was Lysithea’s fault. She’s the one who flat out brought up sex. I’m still waiting to find out what horrible skill I get to help pass onto you all. Hilda’s involved so I don’t think it’s anything to do with poisons.” Claude rambled to let Jorah catch his breath.</p><p>“Poisons? At a picnic? That sounds like a bad combination! Or a good way to get a stomachache!” Raphael laughed good-naturedly and took a swig of the mixed fruit drink he’d helped make. It was something he was clearly very pleased with - his sister had sent them the recipe and several of the Deer had worked together to produce the drink, including an impressive show of the young man’s strength in juicing fruits for them.</p><p>“It would be a good chance to practice, telling what is or isn’t poisoned.” Claude cupped his chin, “But also it’d be really cruel to do for Raphael’s prize and I don’t think Teach would do that.” </p><p>“I don’t have any life skills so I don’t know what it could be.” Hilda stretched and picked up a small cake to pass to Marianne who didn’t seem to want to reach across Hilda for one.</p><p>“I’m sure whatever it is, our Professor has a good reason for it.” Ignatz offered. “Professor, can you breathe again yet?”</p><p>“Teach?” Claude asked, threading the fingers of one hand through Jorah’s bangs and lifting his head up to look in his face, “Yeah he’s getting there.”</p><p>Jorah stuck his tongue out at Claude before straightening up again and trying to get himself composed for the third time. “Lying. You lot need to learn to lie.”<br/>
The resounding “OH” through the class nearly made him break out laughing again.</p><p>“Well I see why you selected the assistants you did.” Lysithea frowned and picked up another cream puff to eat. “Why do we need this lesson specifically?”</p><p>“Because, as I said, it is a life skill, and something that may one day save you or your loved ones, or help you get out of a dangerous situation.” Jorah managed to compose himself again and get back on topic. “It came to my attention just how bad some of you - not naming names - are at lying even in innocuous circumstances. I don’t want you suddenly faced with having to hide information in a more serious situation and suddenly panicking.” </p><p>“Professor, it worries me how jumpy you get about people getting in dangerous situations and being unprepared.” Hilda looked at Jorah with a gentle but piercing gaze that he held for a few moments, unsure how to respond to that.</p><p>“This is not the forum to discuss Teach’s mysterious traumas, Hilda, come on now.” Claude suggested, resting his chin on Jorah again more protectively and hugging him from behind. “The important part here is he’s responsible for our safety and he’s trying to ensure it, right?”</p><p>“Mr. Secrets, you don’t get to talk about mysterious trauma, you know.” Jorah didn’t even have to look at Claude, just tilt his head to rest it against Claude’s.</p><p>“Ah, such cruel accusations, when I’m only defending your honor.~” </p><p>“I suspect you are only defending his honor because you don’t want Hilda to be the first to pry deep enough to learn whatever mysteries our Professor has to him.” Lorenz suggested. </p><p>“That’s a very real fear to have. I don’t have a whole lot of secrets but dredging up the very few interesting parts of my personality is a matter of chance and circumstance. If he’s not careful, he’ll have nothing to discover about me at all and then he’ll be bored again.” Jorah suggested.</p><p>“Um Professor… you’re setting a bad example.” Marianne said softly, handing him up a cup of the fruit juice mix. “We’re not allowed to be mean to ourselves, remember?” </p><p>“You’re all surprising me today. Yes, Marianne, you’re very right. I owe you a prize from the jar when we get back.” Jorah took the drink and sipped it. He pat her head then got back to his lesson. “We’re going to work on both ends of the lying spectrum. Telling believable lies and seeing through them. It’s important to know if you guys ever have to protect intelligence, or get held hostage or something of the sort. You never know when you are going to need to either convincingly hide information or properly lie.” </p><p>“A lie by omission is still a lie.” Flayn parroted as someone raised ‘properly’ certainly would, then looked embarrassed at herself. Which was good because she was absolutely the one who inspired this lesson. ‘Approximately the same age as the other youths here’. Really.</p><p>“Lying? I don’t know, that sounds pretty hard.” Raphael suggested. </p><p>“Well that’s why you need to practice. There are harmless lies for innocuous things too.” Jorah pointed out. “Wouldn’t you like to be able to mislead Maya to give her a surprise party or something some day?”</p><p>Here, Raphael lit up, “Oh yeah! That’d be pretty nice. She doesn’t get a whole lot of parties, or surprises. It’d be nice to not spoil that for her.”</p><p>“Now you’re getting it.” Claude grinned and stepped away, stretching. “Alright, Teach, I am more than happy to help people be dishonest as possible.” </p><p>“I would expect no less.” Jorah nodded and let him step away for that. </p><p>“Professor, I can’t believe you’re calling me a liar.” Hilda was acting faux-offended at him. She really wasn’t or she’d be way more direct about it, but she had to keep up her standards.</p><p>“Never, Hilda. I’m merely acutely aware of your ability to suss out other people’s lies.” Jorah suggested with a playful smile.</p><p>This seemed to appease Hilda’s faux-offense, so Jorah went back to starting them off. “As practice, I want you all to work on telling lies about innocent and pointless subjects, and question each other on them, trying to get more used to it. Our assistants will be going about both to demonstrate and to poke holes in your lies as well as presenting tips. All criticism should be with the purpose of helping your classmates improve.” </p><p>“To start us off, I’m going to tell you all something about myself and you can all question me to try and get the truth out. If you happen to know the real truth, don’t spill it, that’s not the point of the exercise.” Jorah continued. “Flayn gave us our topic - she suggested I couldn’t be doing anything heretical because I spend so much time in the Cathedral. You are going to have to get out of me why I go to the Cathedral so often. If I even do.” </p><p>It was some easy practice for the students, just back and forthing as a group or individually trying to get answers out of Jorah on the subject. Trying to read if he was telling the truth or how he reacted to suggestions. Different techniques but all of the same goal.</p><p>“Come on, tell us what you’re doing there.” Claude laughed between some attempts, to prompt a new lie from Jorah for them to try to pick through.</p><p>“Drawing mustaches on Saint Cethleann.” Jorah suggested, raising his brows. </p><p>That had Flayn laughing openly. “Oh! Oh that would be most amusing to find but very disrespectful! My brother would not be happy to see it!” </p><p>“No way, I don’t believe the Professor would draw a mustache on just one statue.” Raphael shook his head laughing. “You’d do all of them!”</p><p>“I pick just one because I’d get caught too easy if I did all of them.” Jorah bounced his brows.</p><p>“That is definitely a lie, Professor! The Statues of Saint Cethleann and Saint Cichol are further back in the room and it would not be as easy to escape after damaging them.” Flayn said, very proud of herself for catching that. “Those two statues would be less advisable than the ones closer to the door, for defacing purposes.”</p><p>“Good detective work, Flayn. Though a flaw there is that they are also better hidden than those closer to the door so less chance of being caught. One just has to slip in and slip out.” </p><p>“Professor,” Ignatz laughed quietly, “You pick up around those statues with me all the time and wouldn’t deface artworks, especially ones currently being restored. You like the artwork too much.”</p><p>“Ah, caught by a character witness. Very good. Use whatever tools you have in your arsenal - including personal knowledge about a person. Whatever helps you figure out what you need. Good work Ignatz. If I weren’t dealing with people who could actively disprove that excuse, it’s a useable one. Have a good idea of both your audience for what you can get away with, and you area and excuses. Leaning on things you know well enough to lie about is helpful.”</p><p>“He’s probably just answering things in the advice box.” Leonie was buttering a roll and shrugging. </p><p>“I could be.” Jorah agreed, shrugging as well. “Anyway this has gone on long enough, you need to get to your own practices. You shall just have to try again later.”</p><p>“How frustrating. I wanted to know.” Flayn tilted her head, “We determined it is not because you are very religious, and are not defacing statues. You are not reacting strongly enough for the advice box to be right. Truly a puzzle.”</p><p>Lysithea got up to actually walk around Jorah a few times, peering up at him, “I don’t think you’re actually there for something nefarious. I would suspect there is someone you like visiting there, but everyone knows the person you visit with most doesn’t hang around there.” </p><p>“Are you keeping that close a monitor on the company I keep?” Jorah put his hands on his hips, raising a brow at her.</p><p>“Are you implying you like someone more than our House Leader?” Lysithea suggested. “You spend a great deal of time with all of us, but Claude most especially. If you were spending time with Flayn or Marianne there, I could understand it, but Marianne is in the stables more and Flayn doesn’t know why you’re there so it can’t be to see her.”</p><p>“Teach, she’s got you good there.” Claude snorted, arms thrown back behind his head again as he watched Jorah be interrogated. He was probably just hiding being curious about it - because his eyes definitely were searching for the most likely answer and he was playing too cool to not be thinking about other things. </p><p>“She does but I already had high expectations of Lysithea in this exercise anyway.” Jorah admitted.</p><p>“Our Professor is probably just in the choir or something!” Raphael gave one of his big booming friendly laughs. “They practice a whole lot over there!”</p><p>“I think I said we need to get on to other practices anyway.” Jorah pointed out, trying his best to not react to that. </p><p>“So soon? I wanted to hear more about the idea of choir boy Teach.~” Claude suggested, stepping nearer again. </p><p>“Do you have something against the choir, Claude?” Lorenz asked, looking at him archly.</p><p>“I mean, the few times I did stop in there, someone was way off but it just added some color to the performance, you could say.” Claude shrugged, “I haven’t been in a while. It’s completely possible.” </p><p>“Excuse me?! I have improved immensely since that-!” Lorenz bristled then quickly tried to calm himself with all the eyes now on him. He looked away swiftly. “That was likely just a poor day to listen in anyway. I may have been occasionally accused of singing quite off key, but our performances as a choir have dramatically improved over time. Even Dorothea was willing to say I sound better.”</p><p>“Lorenz, you really need to practice not letting you ego get bruised with these excuses.” Jorah chuckled. “You’re a student, you’re still allowed to be learning and improving your skills.”</p><p>“Everyone knows you’re in the choir anyway. We’re trying to determine if the Professor is or not.” Lysithea brushed that topic away and peered at Jorah again, “I admit, I can’t decide if it’s in keeping his character or not.” </p><p>“I’m not sure what I think either. Choir seems kind of…” Leonie seemed to be searching for a word, with her nose wrinkled in not-quite-disgust, “Pointless? A waste? Unless you’re super religious, I guess.” </p><p>“Is there something wrong with a choir? It is wonderful to take time out of one’s day to sing together in a group and lift spirits - and and! - it can be very freeing!” Flayn seemed to be doing her best to both defend the choir and search for information. Couldn’t help that Church of Seiros Upbringing, apparently.</p><p>“No, nothing’s really wrong with it? It’s just not that practical.” Leonie considered, “But you know, you’re right. If singing in a choir brings people happiness, it's not hurting or wasting anything.” </p><p>"Exactly. There is naturally nothing wrong with adding a bit of art and culture to one's life - in fact I highly encourage it." Lorenz nodded emphatically at receiving her approval.</p><p>"The Professor is really encouraging of art in various forms." Ignatz pointed out.</p><p>"He's also mentioned working in an Opera before. Professor, I think we've found you out!" Hilda was standing behind Lysithea now to peer at him.</p><p>"I thought I changed the topic already?" Jorah raised a brow but he was also already feeling the weight of their stares. </p><p>"Teach you're going to have to work on your tells too. Your ears are starting to turn red. Claude pointed out and just had to stroke a finger down the shell of one ear.</p><p>Jorah jumped aside quickly, voice almost a squeak as he spoke. "Okay, yes, absolutely, you have caught me. I'm in the choir and I like to sing." </p><p>His face was even redder now and he hoped they all bought it was embarrassment over the topic. He was more than fine with them thinking he'd lost his composure over a simple lie than realizing the truth. Jorah could not believe he was such a dork as to get all flustered over a cute guy touching his ear of all places. </p><p>Marianne giggled behind her hand. “It’s true.” </p><p>“Oh of couuuuurse you’d know, Marianne. You were so good at not giving us hints!” Hilda sat down beside her again and hugged Marianne’s shoulders.</p><p>Raphael gave another of his big booming laughs, “Well that’s nothin to be ashamed of! As long as you’re having a good time, Professor!” </p><p>“Thanks for the support.” Jorah gave a shaky laugh. “Ok you lot, pair off and practice your lies, then start rotating around. This is still meant to be a practical lesson, not just an Embarrass Jorah Session.”</p><p>In shooing them to practice, he caught sight of Claude who was looking at him oddly, hand still raised. His fingers folded and he made a quiet ‘hm’ sound then put his hands behind his head and sauntered over to practice with Flayn, saying no more.</p><p>Jorah brushed his hair out of his face with his hands and took a deep breath. Oof. His students were far too perceptive. He loved them, but that had been a close one.</p>
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<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Your Highness, you're so awkward</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With the mysterious plague that hit Remire Village, a lot of remedies were being attempted in the quest to find a cure for the villagers. Manuela was working a great many hours on her research as were many of the other medically inclined students. Those working on cure research were even given passes from their regular classes to assist in this as it was a serious study and work opportunity for them. Others were assisting in their off hours with various tasks - such as making food that could be carefully taken to hungry and scared villagers just trying to make it safely through this crisis. </p><p>Today, Dimitri had volunteered in one of these tasks. </p><p>Usually he was more suited to combat or things that required a lot of physical strength, but at present there wasn’t as much of that available for students in this crisis. Healers were more valuable at present than fighters - though he rather thought that may not be so bad. A helping hand being more wanted than a sword arm didn’t seem like such a bad way to handle more things in the world. But the point still remained, if he did not wish to be idle, Dimitri needed to volunteer for something he wasn’t as familiar or comfortable with.</p><p>He was presently in the second greenhouse with several other students and one Professor. There were a lot of test treatments being concocted for the plague and that meant a lot of growing and tending and harvesting herbs. The amount needed had necessitated opening up a second greenhouse area that had previously been for private use by the Church rather than part of the Officer’s Academy. Rows upon rows of valuable medicinal plants being grown at whatever reasonable speed could be achieved to push this study. </p><p>In truth, Dimitri didn’t think he was so very skilled with plants. He didn’t actually think highly of his skills with many things, but tiny and delicate work especially not. He certainly didn’t think he could be like Ashe, who was seated on the floor and very gently talking to Bernadetta as he clipped sprigs from some of the plants. He certainly couldn’t be like Petra, who seemed able to stroke her hand through a small carpet of near identical plants and be able to immediately find the exact right one at the right growth and readiness to be plucked for their purposes. These other students seemed to know so well what they were doing but really, none so much as one.</p><p>Dedue was a beacon of ease and resilience in all of this. He quietly moved among the rows of plants, scattering seeds and gently burying them, all in his own world. His broad shoulders didn’t carry the stiffness of unease and duty they usually held, just their natural composure and breadth. It was just this small group alone in the second greenhouse, working and getting through tasks, with no one to bother them. And Dedue was so in his element, it was powerful to watch, but did make Dimitri feel even more useless in this space. </p><p>A pair of strong hands gently guided Dimitri from standing around looking stupid, over to an actual task. At first he froze up then recognized the gloves on his biceps as Tate’s and just went with her direction. </p><p>“Oh, thank you Professor. I apologize for not taking on a task sooner." </p><p>"Too many options you aren't sure of is overwhelming. Direction is better." Tate told him, which was a relief because he felt like he would sound very useless trying to explain his indecision.</p><p>The pair of them ended up heaving in large sacks of Pegasus Blessings and having to scatter them in some of the planted sections of the greenhouse in small doses. It was heavy and dirty work but something that needed doing and with the need for these herbs, no one could really get away with objecting to Dimitri helping with the task, even for his station.</p><p>“Do you do a lot of gardening, Professor?” </p><p>“Some. It’s a good way to bond with some of my students.” Tate admitted. “Often the baking and gardening clubs overlap.” </p><p>“Ashe, Bernadetta and Dedue are all in both, correct?” Dimitri inquired. He mostly knew those from Dedue.</p><p>“Mhm. Mercedes sometimes joins us for gardening too. It’s very nice. A soothing group of people. You would be welcome to join if you wished.” </p><p>“I’m ah...not particularly good at either task, I’m afraid.” Dimitri blushed as he said. He couldn’t even offer to taste for them.</p><p>“Fetching supplies or watching items or just being company is enough.” Tate suggested. “It’s nice to be around people who bring you comfort, you don’t have to be ‘useful’ to be welcome. I’m sure the others would agree that it would be good to have you.”</p><p>“I think Bernadetta might find me an interloper in her space.” Dimitri’s laugh was soft but awkward. The girl seemed to squeak in fright whenever she saw him unexpectedly.</p><p>“She’s a bit like a frightened rabbit but she’s a very good girl. She manages to relax around boisterous types like Ferdinand and Raphael with enough time to get used to them. She will relax around a quiet boy like you soon enough. Particularly if Ashe and Dedue approve you - she gets along with them both.” </p><p>“I think I would become too nervous with her squeaks and shrieks.” Though it did sound appealing having more friends to be around for social reasons.</p><p>“The sounds die down, especially if she knows they upset you. We could try sometime in a controlled setting to see how you fair.” Tate reassuringly bumped elbows with him, since they were currently wearing heavy duty gloves and most other contact would be ill-advised.</p><p>“We shall certainly see. This crisis first then more social matters.” Dimitri smiled in spite of himself.</p><p>When they’d finished that and washed up, it was back to work with the other students. As Dimitri and Tate rejoined them, it seemed that Ashe, Bernadetta and Petra had clustered around Dedue, who was talking through another matter and explaining certain planting techniques they were using. As quickly and quietly as he could, Dimitri walked closer to at least get into earshot, but no more than that to not crowd his friend.</p><p>To hear those smooth tones, usually so quiet, instead clear and confident as Dedue discussed a subject clearly close to his heart. His words were always careful, chosen to be efficient and suit his needs. For all he was speaking more than usual right now, it was certainly no grand speech of lengthy prose. Yet around him, the other students watched with rapt attention, looking to him as an expert on the topic and accepting his wisdom without derision or suspicion. Even the ever shy Bernadetta seemed at ease, nodding and quietly asking questions or giving her own thoughts.</p><p>Truly, this was something Dimitri had wanted for his friend for so long. He cared deeply about Dedue but just one person’s care and acceptance - particularly someone who there was a distance with because of station - could never make up for the want of a community or family. To see others who were taking to Dedue so well filled Dimitri with warm happy feelings.</p><p>So too did seeing someone he cared so deeply for being so comfortably himself and in his element. They were helping others and doing something he was good at, perhaps he could even say passionate about. Dedue seemed happiest when he was working with the earth and helping things grow, when he was doing things that made the world a brighter and better place. Here he spoke with calm ease and assurance of things he knew well and enjoyed. It brought a bright and fresh lightness to his features that was impossible not to notice. He looked truly the most handsome Dimitri had ever seen him, brought out by his happiness and comfort.</p><p>Being overwhelmed by appreciation and attraction for another person was not the same as being overwhelmed by tasks. It was like a pulse of lightning beneath his skin, making him want to move, to talk, to act, and yet not, for in doing so he would break the very spell he was under. And for all the world, he would not want to shatter this moment or draw attention to himself. He felt as if he were made of glass and would break trying to restrain all he felt, a bird that long to sing, but he wished to so deeply stifle these urges and hold back the feelings within, to keep listening and loving. </p><p>With a quick flail of limb, he tried to let this excess energy out in some sort of fashion that would be less distracting. He didn’t truly understand what he was doing. All the information that had been important was that there was no one to his side - Tate was on his right and everyone else clustered ahead. He didn't get hold of the situation again till someone spoke.</p><p>"Your highness...did you <i>mean</i> to just...eat a leaf?" Ashe asked, a little awkwardly. He was clearly trying to give Dimitri the benefit of the doubt but there was no hope. The shape and texture in his mouth definitely said leaf.</p><p>They were looking at him with a mixture of concern and confusion, perhaps even pity, and Dimitri felt awash with embarrassment. </p><p>"You win." Tate said blandly and took out her coin pouch, which as Dimitri turned to her, he was able to notice was hand stitched and shaped like a frog. She counted out ten coins and passed them to Dimitri. He struggled to respond, slightly hung up on how to be rid of the leaf in his mouth.</p><p>"Professor? Why are you giving away money?" Petra asked.</p><p>Ashe turned to her with a soft chuckle. "Ahha, Petra, I think the Professor and his Highness had a bet going - a wager?" </p><p>Tate nodded affirmatively and Dimitri at last understood. He pocketed the coin to return to her at another time, grateful for her assistance in helping him save face. Now he just had to deal with the lead, which he could more easily chew and swallow without so many eyes on him, though that problem seemed to be sorting itself out.</p><p>"Oh! Professor! Is that the bag I made? I didn't know you would keep it!!!" </p><p>Bernadetta seemed to be between distraught and pleased. Tate would hold her attention easily. Ashe and Petra were drawn partly into conversing about the bag and partly still talking about language. All that left was Dedue.</p><p>Dedue was looking to Dimitri with a gaze as steady as ever and a demeanor that made Dimitri feel weak in the knees. His more relaxed state coupled with his penetrating thoughtfulness was indeed a combination. Dimitri got the distinct impression that they had not fooled him and he was still choosing whether to speak of it or not.</p><p>Turning quickly away, Dimitri sheepishly removed the leaf with his handkerchief and tossed it on the ground at the base of the decorative shrub he had purloined if from. At least he had not spit it. He turned quickly back to Dedue and tried to force a smile more confident than he felt.</p><p>"Dedue, are you.. enjoying today's herb gathering so far?" What did one say in such a situation as this?</p><p>A ghost of a smile formed on Dedue's face. "Your Highness, please don't eat strange plants." Echoing back to a conversation they had had while clearing weeds. He seemed almost fond.</p><p>"I will...try not to." Dimitri returned the smile, smaller and less forced than his last. He really would try.</p>
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<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Not quite study party with the Deer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With such a series situation going on in Remire Village and no full idea of when or what kind of help would be needed, tensions were high at Garreg Mach. Different students and professors had different solutions, but the Golden Deer had their standard that seemed to have worked well so far. What they lacked in seriousness to some, they made up for in emotional stability, particularly found in each other. </p><p>Since the start of his time in charge of the class, Jorah had had a bit of an open door policy with the students. They could come see him for homework help or company whenever, as long as his door was unlocked. He seemed to be a generally social person so none of them were that surprised by it. No one seemed surprised by the fact that usually if the door was open, Claude was already there in some capacity as well.</p><p>For his part, Claude frequently wandered around the room, full of energy and ideas, but always had a spot by Jorah when he did want to settle down, always room for him to squeeze in and be close. In the past, he might not have ever wanted to sit somewhere he couldn’t view the entire room around him or too close to others who might use the opportunity to hurt him, but here, among their group, it was different. With his Teach, he knew he was safe no matter who was present. Claude could curl up between Jorah’s sturdy back and the head of the bed and read books or write up new schemes and know that he wasn’t going to be bothered, or that if he moved, he would always be given room to return. </p><p>“A bunch of the nearby villages had to evacuate already.” Leonie grumbled, pacing back and forth. It was hard fitting all of the Deer in one bedroom but they managed it their own way. It helped some of them liked to meander more than others. </p><p>“Well that’s what the Knights are meant to be aiding with. We can’t expect the villagers from either Remire or its neighbors to stay put if it’s putting them more at risk. Safe evacuations and quarantine procedures are going to be necessary to keep people safe till there’s a cure.” Claude pointed out. He was up and down right now, his mood all over, so paced the room easily. </p><p>“It’s just frustrating not being able to do much for them.” Leonie kicked at the floor and huffed.</p><p>“Everyone’s doing their best. Students traveling to hunt to help bring in more food for refugees is still helpful.” Jorah said from his seat on the bed. “You’re starting to overthink again, Leonie.”</p><p>“I know. I just hate it so much!” Leonie made a fist and hit the wall. A few of the students flinched at the sound and she immediately looked apologetic. “Sorry.” </p><p>“Go have some water and jog around the training grounds till your head shuts off, Le, then go to bed.” Jorah said with that gentle authority he had. “Lorenz, it’s about time to put your evening face on anyway, so go with her.” </p><p>“Of course, Professor.” Lorenz stretched and stood up. “I’ll put my facial cream on when we get to the training grounds. By the time it’s through setting and ready to wash off, Leonie should be tired out.” </p><p>“Exactly. Off you go. Goodnight you two.”</p><p>“Night Professor. Night everybody.” Leonie was too moody to properly socialize so was willing to accept the orders and head that way. </p><p>“Good evening all of you.” Lorenz picked up his bag and headed off. </p><p>Claude smiled a little watching them leave then took up the seat at Jorah’s desk that Lorenz had vacated. He idly fiddled through the stacks of paper and mail there, just being nosy about his Teach’s belongings. Jorah would let him know if he didn’t want it touched, but overall it was free rein for Claude.</p><p>This was how Deer parties usually ended - being nudged to leave in small groups or pairs. It was a sign of how trusting they were growing to be that they knew each other’s routines so well and shared them. </p><p>When they’d started out, Lorenz would absolutely never admit he went to bed early and had a skincare routine - them initially finding out had been a whole fiasco. But now, he not only admitted it, he would even start it downstairs with the group if they were together socially when the time came. He would choose continuing to share their company over not being seen with his face all covered in cream and setting in place, it was sort of touching for such a prissy guy.</p><p>Leonie usually needed to exercise before she slept, especially if she had a lot on her mind. But if one let her exercise too long, she would crash or fall asleep where she was, only getting back to her room late. It wasn’t good for her at all but she didn’t like being told to just go to bed either. </p><p>Timing wasn’t as important to getting Leonie to sleep as getting her to work out and start the routine was. So pairing her with Lorenz who had strict times he liked to keep meant both were responsible for each other. She had to walk him back to the stairs towards his room so was required to remember to stop, and he would make a fuss if she didn’t. In turn it kept people from hassling him and him from freaking out if he tried to go through his beauty routines out on his own, keeping the trusted community feeling for him. It was only one combination of many possible, but it was one of the ways they made things work.</p><p>Glancing over the room, one leg up on the edge of the desk, Claude observed the state of the rest of his classmates. Ignatz, Raphael and Lysithea were all seated on the floor in various states. She was seated below the main group on the bed, her head resting against Jorah’s crossed legs like a pillow, and with a very large book on her lap. Ignatz was sitting straight up and closer to the edge of the desk, formerly near Lorenz but now closer to Claude. And Raphael had taken up a seat on the floor at the end of the bed, just stretching his legs now Claude and Leonie weren’t pacing.</p><p>Raphael tended to stand or sit or leave the room based on how many people were present and what was going on and how energetic he felt. He was another one frequently put with Leonie to get her to tire herself out and back to her room in peace, but more often Raphael was teamed with Ignatz when bedtime came. He’d bring his homework to study and ask the group about, but Raphael would never be a very heavy book learner so often had alternate assignments instead. His main reason to attend these group sessions was purely the communal aspect - Raphael loved people and feeling like part of a ‘family’. Giving him jobs to do or snacks to share and a cozy place to be with others, and he was happy. </p><p>If Lorenz was a good wind-down partner for his strict routine timings, Raphael was for his easy-going ways and ability to gently manhandle someone back to their room. Teammate down for the count? Raph could get them where they had to be, which was frequently good because Ignatz usually would go till his eyes started to cross with tiredness and he needed support to walk away from his work. </p><p>“Teach are you getting fanmail again?” Claude asked, idly flipping through some of the letters on Jorah’s desk. </p><p>“Yes, unfortunately. And a pushy love confession that I had to explain I am both a teacher and like men to.” Jorah snorted from where he was grading papers on the bed, seated with his legs folded over each other. </p><p>“You’d think that was obvious by now!” Hilda grumped from the bed. Claude could only partly see her there but he remembered where she was from when he’d been over there earlier. Hilda was always easy to place because she didn’t like to move much when she got comfy.</p><p>“People should respect each other’s boundaries…” Marianne said quietly. She was seated on Jorah’s left-hand side, a stack of papers in her lap to put into order and pass him as needed. Her hands had started shaking less since they had been when she arrived that evening, which was progress.</p><p>“Do you want me to get rid of it?” Claude asked, raising a brow.</p><p>“Hand it here, I’ll make sure there’s nothing important, then sure.” Jorah held out his hand for it and Claude passed it for his perusal. It was handed back shortly after.  “Yep, you can tear it up, just don’t read it please.” </p><p>“Yeah I’m not going to. No offense, Teach, but I don’t want to know what sorts of fantasies other people have about you.” </p><p>"None taken. I don't particularly want to know such things uninvited either."</p><p>“Claude's just feeling jealous.” Hilda shot from across the room without missing a beat. </p><p>“Hilda, with friends like you…” Claude started, shaking his head and just tearing the letter to toss away. He knew she was being playful but it was still annoying. </p><p>“It’s not like half the school doesn’t think you two are dating anyway.” Hilda’s voice said and her finger became visible poking Marianne in the side. “Marianne, stick your tongue out at him so I don’t have to sit up to do it.”</p><p>Marianne squeaked and squirmed away from the touch, a tiny smile on her face. She was ticklish on her sides, clearly. “No, I’d rather not.” She was still smiling.</p><p>“Marianne! You told me no! Good job! But also I don’t want to sit up, ugh.” </p><p>“Don’t worry Hilda, I’ll handle it.” Jorah said warmly and looked up, sticking his tongue out at Claude briefly then grinning. </p><p>Claude snorted, “Thank you for sending the message.” </p><p>“Just don’t ask me to relay any back that require hand gestures.” Jorah said, “I don’t want to jostle Flayn, she’s finally fallen asleep.” </p><p>Flayn was curled up against Jorah’s right side with her head partly in his lap. Now and then Jorah would rub her back or pet her hair with his off-hand, about when she showed any sort of tenseness or stirred. No one asked her about the nightmares she sometimes had or why she’d wake up worried at times about sleeping too long and being relieved to see them. They would just reassure her and try to help her settle down again.</p><p>For all Claude wanted to know the Church’s secrets, and the ones Flayn herself kept, that was a line he wouldn’t cross. He didn’t need to know what left her that sort of frightened and haunted looking, clinging to her classmates and Professor to know they were real and present, that they were all safe and unharmed. He couldn’t choose his own curiosity over her comfort after something upsetting, same as he’d want considered for himself. </p><p>Flayn had only ever admitted one part of her problem to them. That she liked to fall asleep around the sounds of others and near them, so that hearing them could reassure her that they weren’t there. It also seemed to help that they promised to wake her up later so she didn’t sleep too deeply. Claude theorized that Flayn had been very sick once - it would explain Seteth’s hyper-protectiveness of her, as well as fears of falling asleep and waking up alone or long after she last remembered.</p><p>The ones in the ‘late night’ crew here - Lysithea, Flayn, Marianne, Hilda, and himself - were the ones most likely to stay late in Jorah’s room when they gathered. Sometimes they’d all gather in the library or somewhere else, but this was the most common coordinated point to stay. They all had trouble sleeping in some way or another, so stuck close to each other. Flayn had been so pleased on joining the class and learning this was normal among them. </p><p>For Marianne, she struggled between the days where she wanted to not wake up at all, or where she couldn’t sleep for how her mind whirled and her hands shook and everything felt wrong. Claude wasn’t her confidant on this, but he’d been along for enough of it. For days Hilda would come to class early to ask for help getting her up, or for nights Marianne would come for ‘tutoring’ but really just shaking and trying not to cry and wanting something to do. There was always some minor task that could be found for her in these times, some that let her sit close and be quiet and focus on everyone else besides herself.</p><p>Lysithea would never admit why she was here. She claimed she just wanted to be left alone to study and her neighbors could be loud. But Claude had been by their rooms a few times - Lysithea was next to Mercedes, who liked to playfully tell ghost stories at night sometimes. They weren’t to Lysithea herself - and not with the same intent of teasing her Claude’s occasional jokes about them were - but it was apparently enough to scare the girl out of sleeping some nights and send her running to safety and people and light to do her evening reading. Claude would still tease her about being scared of ghosts, but Jorah would playfully swat him for it and stroke Lysithea’s hair till she relaxed if it seemed to have actually bothered her - which it usually didn’t because she knew not to take Claude seriously.</p><p>Claude knew why he was here. Even if sneaking into the library late at night was a habit of his, part of his thirst for knowledge, he knew the other reasons he was awake far later than he should be. His memories and overactive thoughts were the shadows that haunted the edges of his vision and sleep was an enemy sometimes, no matter how he longed for rest. Having no control of himself and feeling like he couldn’t protect himself when he was sleeping, it had led to so many nights in panicked vigil in his darkened room, a dagger in reach that he shouldn’t need but did. </p><p>Being able to curl up and doze off or wind down his mind with a book to read while settled in safe company did a lot to ease him. Whether it was the whole crew or just him and Jorah, it helped. Not being alone helped a lot in general. Having people to trust meant a lot and it felt like the sort of thing that drew most of the late night ones together. </p><p>“Looks like Ignatz is starting to nod off. Come on, buddy, time for bed.” Raph’s voice gently boomed, interrupting Claude’s thoughts for a moment. </p><p>He looked that way idly to watch Raphael closing up Ignatz’s book and holding it under one arm, pulling the visibly dozing young man up from the floor. </p><p>“Ah...yes I think it is. Thank you, Raphael…” Ignatz mumbled, quiet and having to stifle a yawn. He leaned on his friend’s arm and just let himself be guided out. </p><p>“Goodnight everybody.” Raphael waved to them and then headed back towards their rooms at the other end of the first floor. Ignatz could be forgiven for not saying any goodbyes, but Raphael didn’t like to forget it.</p><p>To shake off his own lethargy, Claude got up and shut the door behind them. He then padded over to the bed to find a comfortable spot to sit with the others. He wasn’t quite tired yet but his thoughts had made him feel more affectionate and emotionally vulnerable, and he wanted the security of being out of sight and close. </p><p>Picking up the book he’d left on the end of the bed and crawled past Flayn’s sleeping form to sit back to back with Jorah, reopening the book to read. Now Hilda was visible, her back to him and her head resting supported between Jorah’s left bicep and Marianne’s right shoulder. She didn’t turn to face him but raised a hand in greeting and moved her legs to rest them in Claude’s lap.</p><p>Jorah turned briefly to bring a hand up and stroke through Claude’s curls with his fingertips before returning to his grading. Claude leaned into the touch and rested his head on Jorah’s shoulder, returning to his book, though not doing more than skimming it at present.</p><p>Hilda and Jorah were the ones in the late night crew who were very obviously present for reasons other than their own anxieties or inability to sleep. </p><p>As far as Claude knew, Hilda could sleep wherever she wanted and usually whenever she felt tired. Her main reason for being present was pretty simple, however - she was far more social than she liked to admit. She liked a good snuggle or someone to talk to, and it was easier to find that staying up late with a party than being in her own room. She was also still doing a lot of personal unpacking of biases and feelings of her own, so having people around she could just bounce thoughts off of or squeeze if she was getting upset was important. Being in some sort of contact with close friends or family seemed to ease her most.</p><p>Jorah was the easiest to explain, in Claude’s mind. He didn’t need sleep anxiety to want to have others close. Being the expressive and affectionate one in the family and that whole ‘leaving the merc band’ divide meant Jorah was a little on the clingy side, and he seemed to like being needed. Wanting to give others a space he felt like he hadn’t had growing up was just one of those things. If he weren’t so close in age to the group, he’d probably be an ideal mentor. When he became a more seasoned teacher, there would be nothing stopping him from easily taking the favored professor position. </p><p>For now, he was theirs. His Golden Deer considered him both an authority and one of their own, on the same level. They were safe together and that was so important, especially with uncertainty at their doorstep. </p><p>The door was opened suddenly by a somewhat frantic sounding person and Claude considered trying to crane his neck to see.</p><p>“Professor have you seen-!” Seteth’s voice came from the door but was quickly cut off and settled in the next breath. “Ah. Flayn is here then.”</p><p>“She was catching up on homework with her classmates and wanted a rest.” Jorah agreed, and Claude could see him stroke Flayn’s hair to ease the tension that was returning to her small frame. “The company helps her sleep. I’ll bring her back to your rooms before too late.”</p><p>“Yes. Thank you, Professor.” Seteth always sounded out of sorts when it came to these things. Probably stuck between stiff Church representative mode and doting big brother mode. “Who all is with you? I will note in case anyone worries they’re out of bed.”</p><p>“Flayn, Marianne, Lysithea.” Jorah’s hand disappeared from Claude’s peripheral but soon returned, pointing over his shoulder, “Hilda, and Claude.” He ruffled Claude’s curls at saying his name.</p><p>“I was going to question how Mr. Von Riegan wasn’t among the bunch.” Seteth admitted with an amused huff.</p><p>“No, I’m here. Like I’d miss a party?” Claude spoke up, waving from over there. He reached up and lifted one of Hilda’s arms as proof she was present. </p><p>“Just see they get to their own beds eventually, Professor. I will see you when you bring Flayn back.” Seteth’s voice had softened and the door shut soon after.</p><p>Hilda made a tired grumbly noise. She pulled her legs off of Claude and rolled over to pout at him. </p><p>"I can't sleep. I'm back to thinking about everything this month again. I hate it. Distract me." </p><p>"You're out of luck, Hilda. I'm reading about history and that just makes you think more." Claude turned the page in his book. </p><p>Marianne spoke up, "You could think about next month instead? If we're able to help these poor people at least…"</p><p>"We will be. They've been making good progress on a cure." Jorah reached over to pat Marianne's head then traded stacks of papers with her. </p><p>"What's so special about next month, Marianne?" Hilda asked. </p><p>"We'll be doing something other than this which is very likely better by default." Claude suggested and she kneed him.</p><p>"I heard that there's supposed to be a ball... for the founding of the monastery?" Marianne suggested.</p><p>Hilda was immediately distracted by thoughts of a ball, because she’d been looking for that distraction and would take it when it came. She turned to hug Marianne and quietly chatter about it. Claude was left thinking about the possibility and dozing off.</p><p>Somewhere in the night, between dozing off against Jorah’s shoulder, and trying to skim through the book he had, Claude felt Jorah shift. Turning his head, he noted stacks of papers being set aside from Marianne’s lap, and the large tome in Lysithea’s hands being bookmarked and closed. Hilda was long since asleep beside him and Marianne had begun to doze. Flayn and Lysithea were also both visibly asleep. </p><p>Claude stretched and sat up, setting his book aside and helping to nudge Hilda to some form of consciousness. She nearly punched him when she yawned and stretched, though he was pretty sure that time it was an accident. Marianne made a little noise like a kitten when Jorah nudged her up and the two were able to be roped into helping to slowly wrangle the properly sleeping ones.</p><p>In the end, Claude was carrying Lysithea’s book, helping with doors, and making sure Marianne and Hilda didn’t slowly list too far to the side and just fall over. They’d managed to maneuver Flayn into holding Jorah’s neck and being in a cozy piggyback, while Lysithea had to be carried in his arms, clinging to his front. </p><p>It was slow going but they made it pretty easily. The chill night air helped Hilda and Marianne perk up enough they didn’t wander much, and they were able to help take Lysithea and tuck her into bed - which was good because Jorah couldn’t bend as easily while also carrying Flayn. </p><p>As they left her room, Claude locking the door as he closed it behind them, Marianne and Hilda headed towards the nearby stairs up to their dorms.</p><p>“Are you coming up?” Hilda asked him, though the way she asked and was already fumbling with the door said she knew the answer pretty well.</p><p>“Nah, I’m going to keep Teach company a bit longer then I’ll be up.” </p><p>Jorah huffed a small laugh and reached out to loop an arm through one of Claude’s, tugging him nearer. </p><p>“Thinking I’ll wander off now they’re gone, Teach?” Claude asked, but more to be cheeky than anything. He stepped nearer and rested his head on Jorah’s arm. </p><p>“You’re starting to walk a little far and stagger.” Jorah agreed. “And we’re about to take some stairs.” </p><p>“Can’t we make Prismarina take us up? Flying seems way faster.” </p><p>“Problem with that plan - her pen is also up some stairs from here.” </p><p>Claude gave a fake pout and went back to walking along, trying to keep from getting too tired in the meantime. He hung onto Jorah’s arm when he wanted to step a little further away, so he could be pulled back as needed. </p><p>“So how about that ball, huh?” Claude started, chatting to keep himself awake. “Think they’ll keep it going?”</p><p>“It’s part of a celebration for the Monastery’s founding, if I recall right, so I can’t imagine they’d completely cancel it.” Jorah suggested. “Does your dancing leave you excited or dreading it?”</p><p>Here, Claude found himself smiling and stuck between two answers. </p><p>On the one hand, he did enjoy dancing quite a lot, but only really knew Almyran dancing very well. Fodlan’s country dances were a little more foreign to him and he’d only been to maybe one dance or maybe two since he’d been declared his Grandfather’s Heir. He was sure Jorah would understand even without a full explanation, he’d maybe even be willing to help him practice - provided he knew himself. Or they could learn together, that could also be fun.</p><p>On the other hand, this was still the guy he very much had a crush on and one of the few large socially acceptable points Claude could probably get away with anything even resembling a large flirtatious gesture. Wanting to be able to pull Jorah out onto the dance floor in front of everyone, regardless of what anyone thought, </p><p>“Oh don’t worry about me, Teach. A ball is nothing.” Claude pulled his hand away from Jorah to fold his arms behind his head and grin, walking in front of him so he stayed in sight. </p><p>Jorah huffed a soft laugh, “If you say so.” </p><p>Claude stuck his tongue out briefly then grinned, “What about you? Any skills in that department?”</p><p>A slight shrug was visible - he clearly didn’t want to jostle Flayn still. “I was born and raised by a mercenary. What do you think?” </p><p>Pondering that, Claude couldn’t be sure. Tate and Jeralt definitely didn’t seem like the types who knew how to dance. But Jorah also picked up all sorts of artsy and theater stuff on his own. </p><p>“You didn’t stay with the mercenaries though.” he pointed out, testing the waters of that answer.</p><p>“They don’t often let commoners get on the guestlist for noble parties.” Jorah pointed out, heading past him and starting up the stairs, taking a light hold of Claude’s elbow in passing. </p><p>Claude had to drop his arms from behind his head to hold the railing with one hand, and Jorah’s hand with his own. </p><p>“I guess you’re right. I haven’t been to as many either. There was a huge one when I was declared Heir though so I at least have that on you.” He’d also danced embarrassingly little at that one, but Jorah didn’t need to know that.</p><p>“I look forward to seeing your skills in action, then.” Jorah gave him a small smile then focused on the stairs once more, going quieter as they headed among the rooms there.</p><p>Flayn was at last settled back onto her feet and gently woken at her door. She hugged both sleepily and Jorah gave her a goodnight kiss atop her head as she wandered in. Claude could hear her saying goodnight to Seteth in passing as she closed the door so all should be well there.</p><p>It was about then that Claude had to stifle his own yawn. He’d wanted to stay up longer, to be close and have some alone time to just be for a while, but his body wanted to rest. </p><p>“Alright, you were patient. Your turn.” Jorah said playfully and wrapped an arm around Claude’s back and swept one under his knees, easily lifting him. </p><p>Claude held on fast and had to muffle a surprised noise in Jorah's shoulder. "Hey, I wasn't asking for special treatment. Though I do appreciate it." </p><p>"No but even you need a bit of spoiling." </p><p>Jorah carried him down the stairs slowly and carefully, and Claude rested his head on his shoulder to relax. </p><p>"You've been filling out a lot since you started practicing with an axe and flying more." Jorah commented idly, hand moving against the side of Claude's chest for emphasis. </p><p>"Is that a remark on my weight? Because Teach, that is very uncalled for at this hour." He didn't think it was one but confirmation of a compliment was always nice. And Claude did so like that Jorah paid him attention. </p><p>"Only in the tangential sense. I was more noticing you're getting a more built with time. Fodlan's single masses are already struggling against your good looks. Do try to have some mercy on them." Jorah gave him a wry smile he could only partly see.</p><p>"Never. I am as merciless in my sex appeal and charm as I am suspicious and devious." Claude put a hand to his own chest dramatically.</p><p>"You're clever and handsome. You don't have to exaggerate right now." Jorah's voice was soft. Less scolding, more feeling. He didn't like how people looked at and treated Claude, did he? </p><p>Claude rested his head back against Jorah's chest and held onto his shirt. There were words in his head and his heart he refused to give the time of day. There was a feeling he didn't dare consider. So the only thing he dared let himself feel was that this was nice. </p><p>It was nice to feel cared about and safe.</p>
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<a name="section0023"><h2>23. The Princess consults her path, not for the last time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Edelgard was furious. In her soul burned a righteous rage that could only be contained by years of training and iron control. She could not show weakness, could not react as she wished. If she reacted only as her feelings told her, the one claiming to be ‘Monica’ would have been cleaved by her axe long ago.</p><p>These creatures and their experiments, it was disgusting. If they were not a tool to be used to deal with the Church, with the Children of the Goddess, she would see them slaughtered. And she intended to do so as well - when her ends had been reached, they would be allies no more and Those Who Slithered in the Dark would fall as well. </p><p>Till then, she had to put up with the likes of Solon and his experiments, of Monica and her disgustingly hollow saccharine persona. She felt sick and angry in equal amounts about everything she had to deal with from them. Hubert had caught her looking off color already and given his encouragement. She also knew he had likely tried to tell Monica to leave her alone, though that would be fruitless. </p><p>It felt like she’d barely seen her Professor this month. Edelgard had heard secondhand from Hubert that Tate had briefly been in the infirmary after mysteriously fainting. Monica had laughed and Edelgard had to restrain the urge to snap at her, or to rush to check on her teacher. It had made it hurt worse when she DID see her - Tate had arrived on Edelgard’s talk with Hubert, seemingly wanting to check on her student’s health just as much.</p><p>She had wanted to convince Tate to her side, to have her see that though so many of these things happening at the school seemed connected, her motivations were not like those who so disgusted her. Edelgard was not sure if she had succeeded in convincing her of that. </p><p>Garbed in her armor, she had met the twins and their father after the attack in Remire. With the combined classes and the expert guidance of their professors, all of the villagers had been able to be saved and Solon sent fleeing the battlefield. But it had been costly and everyone was shaken. She had attempted to meet with them to convince of other matters but it had been a lost cause - they had merely wished to take her back in custody.</p><p>Well, that wasn’t true. Jeralt had wanted to. His son had looked just ready to punch her helmet off. Tate...had barely looked at her. Just as when she’d first appeared to rein in the Death Knight, Edelgard had seen how her teacher looked so strangely at the Flame Emperor. As if she were disappointed, or unsure. It was a stark contrast so anything Edelgard usually saw on her.</p><p>When she had suggested that together, they could prevent the likes of Solon from doing worse, Tate hadn’t even looked her way. She had spoken one word, the only she had used that entire conversation, face seeming almost dead and emptier than ever. </p><p>“How.” </p><p>It hadn’t been a question, and yet it had. How would having her Professor on her side really stop them when they were allies? Did Edelgard truly have any power to stop them, when they did all of this right under her nose and she hadn’t known to be able to stop it? Solon had been here this whole time and she had known. Monica was here and still doing plenty. </p><p>Monica was especially a thorn in her side. Any help in her plans was given most unwillingly but it especially rankled Edelgard because either this agent was completely incompetent...or intentionally needy in annoying fashion, and she was leaning towards the latter. Monica did not need to plan with her and ask her attention near as much as she did, and how much she clung to Edelgard and tried to drag her off to ‘study’ without participating in group missions or making any effort in classes...it was a pathetic and flimsy cover. At least Solon had been able to stay and gather intel for at least a year...though he’d lasted barely a month after actually making any moves.</p><p>It felt like a show to power over her. To saddle her with someone she had to keep in line, so their worse agents could do as they pleased. A little leash to keep her from checking their freedom here. Keeping her busy and out of their hair..and away from her Professor.</p><p>Edelgard’s fists clenched at her side. </p><p>She saw it now, the way Monica worked so hard to undermine their teacher and ignore her, but kept Edelgard from spending much time with her at all. It all felt so obvious suddenly. Those creatures didn’t fear her, they had no need to think she would actually be able to hold back their experiments. Solon had been furious at her for fighting him, but she could give the excuse of not blowing her own cover, but it was clear they expected to be able to act with impunity in her presence.</p><p>They thought of Edelgard as their lapdog and loyal tool. They thought of humans as beasts to be toyed with and experimented on, and her merely a product of their experiments. </p><p>Times like this were times she asked herself if her resolve was shaking, ready to collapse under the weight of this, or if it was her resolve readying to sprout wings and seek freedom from both halves of this crumbling system. To bathe both halves of this conflict in flames and burn a new path apart from the bloody one dictated to her by the hands that felt they held her in line and controlled the future of everyone. </p><p>Dwelling on this was of no use right now. Repairing the damage Monica’s presence had caused seemed as if it would be the best pursuit at present. </p><p>Plus, Edelgard had to admit, she desperately missed her time with her teacher. They comforted each other, she had seen that same tender fondness in Tate’s eyes that filled her own heart when they were together. That comfort and source of strength, that hope that they could see eye to eye and someone would support her in her path at her side...it held so much for her. She would not let that be taken from her any longer.</p><p>For once, she dared seek the Professor’s room in her quiet walk for the evening. Sometimes Tate could be found out and about patrolling but it was always easiest to start with the known base location. Even just remaining there felt safer somehow, as if her presence radiated through it in place of things like laughter and song that others might use to show their presence.</p><p>Tonight, she could see a soft light under the door so knocked. It was quite late and perhaps a foolish choice. Their meeting after the mission had been so short and not necessarily promising. Tate had been lost in thought then too and not had much to say, other than quietly agreeing she had met the Flame Emperor and did not know what to think of the matter. It had been such a short conference before Monica had dragged her away again. Would meeting again really solve much? </p><p>The door was opened shortly and Edelgard watched her Professor’s expression turn from puzzled to that soft little light of surprise, and delight mixed with...something unfamiliar. A new look that reached her gaze and drew it away from Edelgard’s. </p><p>Tate silently stepped back from the doorway, opening it to allow Edelgard to enter the room. </p><p>The place was bare of decor or anything beyond items of visible use. It could be anyone’s room and so easily left - Edelgard suspected that was a habit that came of always moving and not having many things to herself. To never feel a place could be personalized. Her own room here was only mildly so but it still had personal effects and creature comforts present - particularly a well hugged stuffed teddy bear that had been a gift for her birthday earlier this year from this very same Professor. Tate’s habit of giving gifts and little shows of affection made Edelgard wonder if perhaps she could one day encourage her teacher to settle in somewhere with gifts in return. </p><p>“My Teacher, you’re up very late to not be patrolling. Could you not sleep?” Edelgard asked her, looking up from her perusal of the room. </p><p>“I could not, so I was experimenting.” Tate gestured to the bedside table. </p><p>Here were the first items Edelgard could see as being unexpected. The furniture that came default with the room, books borrowed to teach from, papers from students and armor or supplies placed temporarily, ready to move, those were all things that were normal here. On this little table, however, was placed a small standing mirror and several colorful ribbons, as well as a hairbrush that was not of particularly fine quality, though obviously kept very clean and nice.</p><p>“Experimenting? With your hair?” Edelgard took a seat on the bed beside where Tate was sitting herself down again.</p><p>Tate nodded quietly, “Dorothea suggested I might look very pretty with my hair done. I am trying it. But it proves most difficult. Which makes it a good distraction for when I cannot sleep.”</p><p>“I see.” Edelgard understood the unspoken feelings there. So much change and turmoil and the horrors they had had to intervene on were enough to make a person nauseous. To one so used to inactivity and feeling, an activity to keep herself occupied would be the chosen outlet. If she could not rest, she must do something.</p><p>Edelgard had little to say and could not bring voice to the feelings that had churned in her soul this night. She wanted to ask more, to know what her teacher thought, or what she suspected about these factions, about the Flame Emperor, and about all of it. But she suspected that the answers would hurt her too deeply to hear. She didn’t want to hear hesitance or distrust or worse from someone she treasured so much. </p><p>Resting her head on Tate’s shoulder, she merely enjoyed the other woman’s presence and watched her progress at taming her wild and messy hair. Occasionally, Edelgard would give an opinion or offer assistance holding a section of her hair in place, the easy aid of an extra pair of hands. It was nothing serious at all, nothing deeper than it seemed, and yet it filled her with comfort and strength to be here like this, and to be ready to face even more days ahead.</p><p>All things came to turning points and she knew the point of no return was soon. But for whatever path she chose, these memories would be precious and she could hold them in her soul to fuel her. For one day, she wanted a life of peace this way, free of everything, and to know others could enjoy that same peace and freedom. These games between those who considered themselves higher powers would be ended, and humanity would be allowed to grow as it properly should. </p><p>She would see that day come, one way or another.</p>
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<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Jorah has a hard time coping after Remire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Since the horrors of Remire Village, Jorah had had trouble sleeping. That first night, he had stayed up with his students just making sure they were able to rest on their own eventually, and had finally collapsed to sleep on his own later. He’d already told them there would be no lessons the next day. No one needed such a thing after a day like that.</p><p>After that, he had just stayed up working or reading to avoid sleep but even when he tried it was fitful and evaded him to make any effort to rest impossible. But he knew what was coming, what his mind had waiting in the wings. Eventually he had to try to sleep naturally, and his dreams were waiting for it.</p><p>It started simple enough, expected things. The battlefield, the screaming villagers, the mad ones fighting each other and those running in terror. Children screaming and crying or asking them why they couldn’t help their village, couldn’t make it better. His students in anguish, unable to save them, unable to do enough. Horrified and disgusted and trapped.</p><p>Then it morphed, to images of maddened students going after each other, facing those they considered friends. Lorenz raining magic upon his classmates, poor Raphael turned against his friends, Tate's squeamish healer Linhardt awash in the blood of his enemies. Things they would see as vile, things that would make them choke or faint to even witness or do.</p><p>The dreams got worse from there. Tomas turning into Solon, it haunted his mind. The man had worked for the church 40 years, it was unlikely it was really Solon that whole time, not with how much he seemed to want to reveal himself as soon as an opportunity arose. Which meant he'd copied the real Tomas. The man had probably died once he retired and none had been able to tell apparently.</p><p>This knowledge just left him facing other visages that warped in the same way, whose voices took on a new tone as betrayal struck. Old colleagues, students, his father and sister. Fighting these people he cared for, knowing that the real one was long gone. </p><p>The dreams always ended the same. A nocked arrow. A witty quip that chilled him to his core. Green eyes turning blank and dark as Jorah faced someone he couldn't raise a hand to and woke at his own 'death'. Usually the others were flashes, he never had to test himself against them. But that one, it was always a fight, and he was always doomed to lose it. </p><p>Jorah stared up at his ceiling in the dark and dragged a hand across his face, getting up again. Yet another of these dreams leaving him a mess and just washing up with cold water did nothing. Trying to sleep brought him back to the same circles every time. He couldn’t sleep but he was too tired to function. When washing up and trying to rest didn’t help, he instead put on some semblance of clothes and went out for a walk.</p><p>The cool night air only did so much for Jorah’s feelings. The worst part of the problem was, that when he was alone he felt worse and his mind went on its own journeys, thinking far too much. In these moods, he wanted to be around other people more, wanted to be close and focus on them instead till his mind shut down. Focusing on other people was always easier. His walk led him round and about through the grounds, a path he didn’t have to think about. When he was alone and needed to be around others, he knew places to go depending on time and day, and his body would take him there.</p><p>The problem with habits like this was, they did not account for circumstances. His body knew that in the middle of the night, if he didn’t want to be alone, there was very often one person he could find easily in a specific place, and he’d have easy company with someone he trusted completely. Habits could not account for the exact awful concurrence of place and person for that particular mood. </p><p>So when Jorah walked into the library and saw Claude sitting among some books, hidden in the stacks with only a candle to light his reading, how could his body have known this was the wrong place to take him? Claude was who he would most trust and want for company being unable to sleep normally, and the library was where he was to be found on a night like this. But seeing Claude right now and seeing him <i>there</i> was everything he didn’t want to see. </p><p>He’d barely caught Claude’s eye, unsure if he truly heard the quiet greeting or really registered Claude’s response at all, before he was backing away swiftly, and getting away from that room fast. As if he’d seen a ghost, Jorah fled that place and didn’t stop till he realized he was out on the grounds again. He’d been so eager to get as far from the library as possible, he hadn’t even considered leaving the Monastery proper in a panic. </p><p>Jorah collapsed to his knees in the grass and panted, his heart racing. </p><p>He hated this, hated the way it took his ability to trust and twisted it, and how it made him so afraid for people he cared about. </p><p>Being so upset on seeing Claude was a sickening feeling. He cared a great deal about him and was always happy to be around him. To have that damaged and messed up by the actions of others was such a deep pain for Jorah. Especially because the idea of being betrayed by someone he couldn’t fight back against was not the worst part for Jorah.</p><p>What was worst was being unable to help him. </p><p>If Claude was replaced by a fake, he’d likely be dead before Jorah even knew of it, before he even had a chance to try to go after him. His friends and classmates being turned on him too or Claude being turned on them against his will, those too would affect him deeply. Even if Jorah was able to intervene, going through that might damage any progress they’d made together, and be an emotional setback for Claude.</p><p>He knew the ability to trust and feel safe was so important to Claude - he’d seen the small slips, the hints passed off as casual remarks, the fear of what kind of reaction people had to an outsider. Because it was never just isolation, plenty of people would resort to cruelty and violence to remove those unwanted from their circle. To always have that hanging over you did things to a person, and it was hard to just recover from because it was nothing like one injury that could be healed, but instead a death of a thousand cuts. </p><p>Claude did better when he could trust and felt he had real safety and support.  He opened up much more naturally with the right support, rather than a careful game of overshare and concealment to keep everyone guessing and at just the right distance away. They both longed to be close to others but needed to be careful of forming those close ties with others, and if asked, Jorah would agree Claude had far more reason to be careful than he did. </p><p>To have someone he was close to reacting negatively to see him, that can’t have been good. Jorah hadn’t stayed long enough to see the change in emotion in his gaze, or how it affected his mood, but that was his best guess. But perhaps not? </p><p>Perhaps he was too in his own head and too full of himself, thinking he was that important to all of this at all. Claude was ultimately a lot more clever and resourceful than anyone gave him credit for and he was coping his own ways with things. For all Jorah knew that had been a weird random interruption to his research time and nothing more. </p><p>And any fears that welled up seeing Claude there, Jorah was best putting them out of his head. Who was he to decide Claude should stop his quest for information - information that was likely going to be picked over and scaled down again to suit the Church’s tastes - just because he personally was afraid for his student? It wasn’t something he’d usually tell him not to do or pull him away from, so did he really have the ability to do so now? </p><p>Jorah hated being unable to trust his own perceptions or ideas. Both as a teacher and as a friend. It was times like this he really felt in over his head and that he was nowhere prepared for a job like this, particularly not dealing with a bunch of people his own age. He was just as weak to emotional issues and fears as his students were and having a freakout like this would do no one any good. </p><p>Eventually, after a while of sitting on the ground and panting, feeling an absolute mess emotionally and physically, Jorah dragged himself to his feet and found his way back to his room. He collapsed into bed and passed out for a few hours. Time had long since lost meaning and he didn’t bother getting up for food, sort of just sank into resting while his brain was too exhausted to torment him.</p><p>It wasn’t till probably afternoon when he got up again. He was trying to be conscious, trying to wash up and feel human enough to maybe seek food in the Dining Hall when a loud and insistent knocking was heard at his door. It sounded urgent so Jorah opened it quickly. </p><p>On the other side he found Claude who put his hands on Jorah’s shoulders, “We need to talk.” he said firmly before pushing his way into the room.</p>
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<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Claude needs to stop making me cry on heavy chapters</h2></a>
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    <p>So Tomas was a dark mage. One who had conspired with the Death Knight to kidnap Flayn and to destroy the homes and lives of the villagers in Remire Village. And he’d been so damn callous about it too! That it could have been any village, just putting people through this like they were his playthings. It was so much to sort through and hard to not feel nauseous if he thought too long on certain parts.</p><p>Claude could say they had to be practical about this all he wanted, he could say they needed to keep smiling and keep marching for the morale of others, but he was just as fucked up inside over what had happened as the rest of the class and he knew his Teach was too. They were up just as late as the rest of the class, curled up together and comforting each other with distractions and talking through things. With his overactive mind, how could he not have a lot to think about with this?</p><p>Score one for Teach in being right though. </p><p>Jorah had always been somewhat leery of Tomas whenever he gave Claude tidbits of information or answered his questions. He just said Tomas weirded him out and something didn’t sit right with him how free he was with information to Claude, but Claude chalked that up to some light jealousy. After all, Jorah was used to being his Professor and preferred person to chat with and ask questions of, why wouldn’t he feel a bit miffed at someone else getting that kind of attention? Particularly since a young and new teacher in comparison to the older and more experienced librarian. Claude had laughed it off and not worried about it. </p><p>Turns out, he probably SHOULD have worried about it. </p><p>Sure, Claude wanted answers, he wanted to know what was going on in the world. He didn’t want them at the cost of the lives of innocent civilians for seemingly nothing but sick pleasure. Why even do such things? To prove you could? It made him angry and hurtful. </p><p>And of course, Tomas having been the traitor in their midst meant Seteth was going to be hyper-vigilant about clearing out anything he deemed inappropriate in the library. Especially after he’d caught that drawing Claude had had of the Immaculate One. It had been a shame to lose it to him and to lose more chances for studying it but it did make Claude question how or why Tomas had such a thing too. The Church was hiding things and so did those mages working with Tomas - well, Solon.</p><p>To find anything else of note before any kind of library purge, Claude went back to sneaking in there. Nights not spent with his class were in there, seeking whatever information he could and trying to be quiet about it to not attract any potential higher guard. </p><p>This was how he found himself seated on the floor in the stacks, reading by candlelight. Nothing important, truly - he'd had no interesting finds in a bit - but Claude was a sponge for information and loose to keep reading up on a topic he’d spotted was very dangerous. </p><p>He looked up on the sound of someone coming into the room. He was a second from dousing the candle and fleeing when he recognized the gait and footfalls. No that was his Teach - if Jorah couldn’t sleep and needed company, at this hour he’d often meander to the library to find Claude. It was one of the nice things about having someone who had similar issues with sleeping - having a rough idea of where to find a person when you desperately needed the company of another person. </p><p>Claude looked up and smiled, “Hey Teach,” he said quietly, looking a little bashful but not guilty about his studying. He was about to move a few books to make a space for him to come sit with Claude...but that’s not what happened.</p><p>For the first time since they’d met, Jorah’s eyes didn’t light up on seeing him. Even when they’d been on that awful ‘not being physically affectionate’ break, Jorah had still brightened and smiled a tiny bit more when he saw Claude. To always feel like someone wanted him around and was happy to see him was something Claude had not realized was so very important to him. He realized it now for damn sure.</p><p>To see his Professor’s eyes widen and his breath hitch that way, the way he froze and looked panicked in the dim light of the candle Claude was looking by, it was wrong. Everything about it was wrong. This wasn’t the playful ‘let me back out of this conversation’ reaction he gave to things like walking in on Claude making flirty jokes with a friend, this seemed to be genuine horror. </p><p>Never before had Jorah looked at Claude like he was the last person he wanted to see in the world, and it hit deep. Claude had been about to topple the whole pile of books he had made for himself to get to his feet, but Jorah fled too fast for him. And so he was left, staring after into the darkness in the space his Professor left and feeling the emptiness creeping in on him. </p><p>What had that been about? Why had he been so scared and upset to see Claude? He’d known he would be there, he’d come to see him - hadn’t he? Was Claude wrong in thinking that when Jorah came to the library at night, it was with the express purpose of finding and keeping company with him? They were close, they meant so much to each other, he couldn’t be wrong about all of it. </p><p>He didn’t want to be wrong. </p><p>Being wrong about what they were to each other...it was too much. Suddenly the darkness of the library was isolating and choking him. Claude blew out the candle he’d been reading by and fumbled blindly to put away the books he’d been reading and to get to his feet, heading out the door soon after. He abandoned the candle somewhere along his way, and felt his way back down and out his usual path away from the library. Claude had done this a thousand times and right now he especially needed that sureness of direction because he was lost emotionally. </p><p>They could sort this out, it was a misunderstanding. It had to be. </p><p>Claude made it to Jorah’s door and knocked. “Teach, please. Come on, tell me what that was about.” </p><p>He stood there in silence, head resting on the door and occasionally trying to knock again. The silence was deafening. No shuffle to get up and let him in, no ‘go away’, nothing.</p><p>What had he done? What had left his Teach so horrified to even see him? </p><p>As the minutes dragged on, Claude could deal with the silence no longer. He took a deep breath and stepped away from the door, heading back to his dorm. He felt heavy but resolved. </p><p>Fine, if that’s how it was going to be then so be it. </p><p>His sleep was uneasy and anxious but he did sleep. The next day, Claude was resolved to leave things as they had been. If Jorah didn’t want to see him, then he wouldn’t. He’d have to make the effort to fix whatever had set him off so badly. He was going to just avoid him till his Teach got his head on straight.</p><p>That anger didn’t really last through breakfast. By the time he finished eating, Claude was glancing about for Jorah and hoping to see him. He was still resolved to not embarrass himself further trying to knock at Jorah’s door again, but active avoiding was quickly dropped as a plan. </p><p>That resolve lasted perhaps through lunch. </p><p>He hadn’t seen him anywhere all day. At some point Claude had given up on just passively watching for him and instead ‘casually’ strolled about, glancing into places Jorah could usually be found. By the time he’d checked the Cathedral to see if he was practicing with the choir again or something, Claude was practically running looking for him. Lorenz had suggested why not just go see if he was at lunch with everyone and Claude had to stop himself from sprinting that way and looking like a complete idiot.</p><p>But no, not even at lunch. The anxiety over why Jorah had fled on seeing him coupled with his overactive imagination wondering if perhaps he hadn’t been ignoring him the night before. Maybe he hadn’t been in his room or something else had happened or he was hurt somewhere. Just...something! There had to be something going on and he needed to know. </p><p>Determined to give it one last try, Claude went to Jorah’s door and knocked frantically. He needed to see him, needed to clear this up. He couldn’t deal with that question, with wondering if he’d somehow driven off the most important person to him at the Monastery.</p><p>This time, it was opened very quickly and Claude was completely surprised by it. Jorah looked an absolute mess and like he’d been trying to wake up or something. Before he could let Jorah react or reject him again, or before he himself backed out in fear, Claude put his hands on Jorah’s shoulders and said firmly, “We need to talk,” and then pushed his way into the room - which was surprisingly easy. Usually Jorah was an immovable wall, so perhaps he wasn’t so resistant to Claude’s presence either?</p><p>Claude slipped past him and stood properly in the middle of the room while Jorah shut the door. He tried not to fidget or pace, feeling completely at a loss now that he was here. He didn’t know how to ask the questions he needed to when he was so afraid of the answers. </p><p>However, Jorah did that work for him. “Claude, about last night - I’m sorry.” he said quietly, dragging a shaking hand through his own hair and taking a deep breath. </p><p>Ok, ok good. He could work with this. He could. </p><p>“What was that about? You don’t usually just - you don’t react like that to seeing <i>me</i>.” Claude hoped his voice didn’t sound as desperate as it probably did. </p><p>“I know! I know. It wasn’t - it wasn’t a you thing. It was a me thing and I don’t have a good way to explain it.” Jorah admitted, both his hands moving to his hair now and pulling at it or squeezing his head between his arms, almost trying to fight himself. </p><p>“Then what was it?” Claude couldn’t hold in the flail this time. He was so stressed about this and it was eating him inside. “You looked at me like I was the last person you wanted to see in the world.” </p><p>“You were!” Jorah squeezed his eyes shut, “Just - not in the way you think.” </p><p>“In what way was it then? There’s no way to take that and not be upset by it.” Claude was definitely hearing the desperation in his own voice now, hearing how it was cracking, and he was not happy about that.</p><p>Jorah had to have heard it too, cause his eyes snapped open and his entire posture changed. He wasn’t curling in on himself anymore and blocking things out anymore, instead stepping closer to Claude and cupping his face with both hands. </p><p>“I was in a very bad place last night. Seeing you right then, particularly in the library, was a bad combination and it made everything worse instead of better.” He was struggling to enunciate his words but the way his thumbs stroked gently at Claude’s cheekbones and how his hands shook as he touched him - it conveyed a weight in feeling that his words weren’t getting through clearly. </p><p>The touch soothed his anxiety so much and Claude stepped closer to Jorah, rubbing his cheek against one hand, trying to emphasize how much the attempted affection was being accepted. That he wanted this comfort and for them to work through whatever it was. It felt like Jorah wanted the same very much, even if he was struggling with it. </p><p>“You freaked me out so much, Teach. I tried to chase after you and knock on your door and thought you were ignoring me. Did you just pass out?” Claude closed his eyes, trying to focus on the affection more than watching the mess of expressions Jorah was going through. It wasn’t helping either of them. </p><p>“No I...I sort of just ran outside and got lost on the grounds for a bit. I think I had a freakout in the grass for a while till I managed to drag myself back here to sleep. I either didn’t hear you or I must’ve missed you. I’m sorry, Claude. I would have - I wasn’t going to ignore you if you went after me. I just couldn’t be there anymore.”</p><p>That was a relief and Claude reached out to put his arms around Jorah’s chest, stepping in closer to him. Jorah’s one hand left his face to move and wrap around his torso, hugging him near. The other moved from Claude’s jaw into his hair, softly tangling in the dark curls and stroking through them. Claude made a soft approving hum and rested his head on Jorah’s shoulder. Yes this was better, it helped. Not everything was solved yet, but holding each other made it so much better.</p><p>“What had you so upset? Nightmares again?” </p><p>“Yeah...pretty bad ones this time.” </p><p>“Involving me?” Claude caught that detail and frowned, glancing up at Jorah. </p><p>“Involving a lot of you but yeah...you especially.” Jorah agreed and squeezed him close. Claude could see he’d closed his eyes again and seemed to be struggling to speak, so he rubbed Jorah’s back lightly. </p><p>“Talk to me. Where’s your head gone?” He was doing his best to offer that same sort of soothing comfort Jorah gave him when his own nightmares were hitting him hard, but his anxieties made it difficult. He was still a bit afraid about what sort of nightmare Jorah would have about him.</p><p>After a short pause and a deep breath, Jorah finally answered him. </p><p>“Everything that happened at Remire Village...it really got to me. Seeing it happen to simple villagers, what if those sorts targeted others next? The students are easy pickings it seems and more combat trained than civilians are…” </p><p>Claude winced and nodded, “That would definitely mess with your head. It’d get to me too. I wouldn’t want to fight my classmates...or be made to fight them.” He shuddered and squeezed Jorah in return. Ok that did set off some upset feelings, so yeah, no wonder.</p><p>“My dreams didn’t stop there though.” Jorah admitted and here he pulled away some, almost guilty. </p><p>Claude looked at his face quickly, eyes narrowing and looking over his features and trying to trace the thoughts he might be having. There was worse? Ok, where was worse? What was worse? He recalled that Jorah had also specified the place was a problem too…</p><p>“Seeing me in the library...that’s where Tomas - erm, Solon. It’s where he had been. Scared of me getting turned on you from there?” Claude tried to poke just a bit to see if that was the right direction.</p><p>“No, that would be better than - no. Just no.” Jorah pulled away again and was once more trying to tug at his hair or squeezing his head, alternating these as he paced. The frantic motions to try and control a train of thought that was so far beyond reach it was lost.</p><p>“What then? Please, tell me?” Claude asked, watching him pace and trying to keep up. He put his hands on his shoulders and spoke firmly. “Jorah. Tell me what’s wrong.” He hoped so much that using his name made it clearer. </p><p>Jorah looked at him and his eyes were wild, lost and wild. He took another shaky breath before he spoke, flailing his hands and trying to get the words out.</p><p>“He was a fake. A replacement. Lysithea even said - Tomas supposedly retired to Ordelia territory but she never saw him and there and never knew of him. Who works at a place for 40 years, retires, then comes back a few years later and suddenly decides that’s when they’re going to reveal they’ve always had seditious feelings towards the Church? Why would you come back just to do that? More likely, he retired, went to Ordelia territory and this Solon had him killed and took his place.” Jorah was trying not to babble, Claude recognized the signs in how he twitched or stopped for breath while he talked, but the ideas still flowed.</p><p>“So Solon was a fake, not the original Tomas. Ok. Keep going, there’s something freaking you out about it worse, I need to know what part.” Claude pushed him. He’d not completely considered whether or not Solon was the original Tomas or not. He probably would have soon, but it was a lower tier priority than finding information before Seteth purged it, or being horrified at the depravity of whoever that person was’s methods. Because original or not, it was awful. </p><p>Jorah shook his head, trying to speak with more emphasis. “If he’s not the original Tomas, then Solon can take other shapes and look and sound exactly like another person. Completely steal their identity.” </p><p>“Yes. Ok that’s definitely something to be afraid of.” Claude agreed, though it felt like there was something he was still missing here. “Are you afraid of him doing it again? Popping up as another identity here?”</p><p>“No it’s - if he can do it, other mages working with him might be able to as well. They could be able to better replace others, we’d have no way of knowing at all.” Jorah explained, raking a hand through his bangs again as he tried to get to his point - something that he was clearly dancing around because it upset him too much. </p><p>Claude frowned, stepping closer and grasping Jorah’s wrist, tugging him away from pulling at his hair again. He seemed like he started doing that unconsciously when his thoughts got too upsetting, but it wouldn’t help here. “Tell me what’s scaring you, please. I’m here.”</p><p>Jorah closed his eyes again, his breath shaky and voice almost broken when he spoke again. “Claude, who was alone with him the most? Who sneaks into the library when no one else would know about, right where the powerful dark mage was hiding?” </p><p>The train of thought was hitting Claude hard now and he shuddered again. </p><p>“Teach? Don’t tell me you think I’m an imposter. Please…” He didn’t want to be distrusted, not by Jorah. Not by someone he cared so much about and who meant so much to him. Claude was already an outsider to so many, already looked on with suspicion by so many people for what and who he was. He didn’t want that suspicion to now come from someone who’d never held that prejudice against him before. </p><p>Jorah shook his head quickly. His eyes had snapped open and they were wild. He took hold of Claude’s biceps, but his touch was still so gentle. It was a firm, solid touch to keep him still and near but not violent, not trying to hurt or frighten him. Jorah had almost doubled over really so instead of Claude having to look up at his Teach, he was looking ahead and almost down to meet Jorah’s eye now. </p><p>The next words, Jorah all but spat them with a burning disgust, emphasizing a vile feeling to them. “Who was he <i>baiting</i>, time after time, with little tidbits of Church secrets? The knowledgeable old Librarian, so very trustworthy, leaving questionable documents around to find, leaving little hints at things to be curious of. Hinting he knew you were there, that he knew when you came and went from the library.” </p><p>Jorah’s anger broke to something more desperate, more afraid and soft, and Claude knew he was seeing the deepest and most vulnerable fears here. He stayed still overall but did lift one hand to rub Jorah’s bicep - it was as far as he could reach with his arms still held and he didn’t want to fight that hold on them. Not because he thought it would be tightened or hurt him, but because he didn’t want to reject the touch and what felt more like a protective clinging than anything. </p><p>Now he’d begun, the words wouldn’t stop, but Jorah’s voice had quieted. “Who is more easy to replace than someone who is in a place he shouldn’t be? All alone when no one knows where he is, and no one is there to stop it. For a boy so few people know much about, would it be very hard to copy the surface and handle the rest? Someone so full of secrets and mysteries, what’s one more for a replacement to have to keep hidden?”</p><p>“I’m not afraid that you’re an imposter, Claude. I’m afraid that they could have taken you and I’d never have known, and I couldn’t have done anything to keep you safe. You are...extremely important to me. And I’d never be able to raise a hand to fight a monster in your place, because I can’t fight you, and I wouldn’t want to anyway, if the real you were already gone.” </p><p>His eyes shone with tears and it was the most visceral and raw display of emotion Claude had seen from Jorah since the day in the infirmary, but it was nothing to this. He had been willing to accept his Teach was really still just a young man when giving him the fallibility of being jealous of a more seasoned educator, but Claude had sometimes forgotten that just as much, he was still someone his age and Jorah was just as deeply attached to Claude as Claude was to him. </p><p>It also put in stark contrast the fears he himself had been going through since the night before. The idea of Jorah not wanting to be around him, not caring for and trusting him, of finding him suspicious, it was all a lot and left Claude feeling shaky and alone. There were words he still didn’t dare think of for it, but ‘trust’ was a big one that he couldn’t deny. This was a person who was more to him than just a professor or friend, and the truth was that the thought of losing him was just as horrifying. To know that Jorah not only still cared for him but that all this was brought on by just how deeply he DID care, it meant so much. </p><p>Claude easily removed his arms from the hold on him and dragged Jorah closer to hold again, holding as tight as possible and burying his face against him. He could feel Jorah shaking in his arms and he knew he was too, especially in the returned embrace. His mind hadn’t gotten to the point of considering imposters yet, but he knew when he got there, Claude would have been in the same sort of panic, and his mind would easily have run away with him. </p><p>“<i>Khalid.</i>” he whispered it low into Jorah’s throat, breathless and probably inaudible. But the name left his lips all the same, unsaid for so long.</p><p>“What?” Jorah’s voice was low, shaky, but of course he was still paying attention to Claude.</p><p>“It’s...my real name.” He hid his face against Jorah, not wanting to see the reaction to that. Just holding him tight and trying not to be afraid of the aftermath.</p><p>It was a split second decision that he didn’t even realize before he was doing but he understood why he had. This was the person he trusted most. Jorah was one of the only people who knew he slept with weapons in easy reach - had more than once helped him into bed and made sure he could see and feel where they were placed for him. He was someone Claude desperately wanted to share everything with and perhaps one day he could. But for now, he dared share this little part of himself, hoping it wasn’t the wrong choice.</p><p>Jorah was quiet and then brought his hand up to stroke Claude’s hair again, holding him close.</p><p> “Khalid.” he said it with a quiet and breathy reverence that made Claude shiver. “Thank you for telling me.” </p><p>“Yeah just...don’t spread it about, alright?” Claude glanced up at him now, trying to force his usual cheeky grin. It was less effective given he was still tightly clinging to Jorah. </p><p>“Of course not.” Jorah pressed his cheek to Claude’s head, hugging him close. “Mine’s Rye. It’s not as nice as yours but you have it. Though that’s...less a secret, obviously.” </p><p>Claude blinked, and gave a soft smile, hugging him near. “I appreciate it anyway.” </p><p>“At least it’s some security for us both.” Jorah suggested. His voice was less desperate but he did still sound very tired.</p><p>“Yeah. Something like that.” Claude agreed with a weak laugh. “I think I need a nap again after all that.” The addition of ‘in your arms’ was unspoken, but he felt like it was implied.</p><p>“I agree. I was going to get something to eat but I still don’t have an appetite yet. Perhaps after we rest.” Jorah agreed.</p><p>He seemed to have gotten the implication fine, as he headed over to the bed and settled on it, pulling Claude against him to hold. A nice clingy nap felt like the best thing after emotional things like this and Claude fell asleep easily.</p>
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